forgiveness
forgiveness

forgiveness

Personal Practices
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ACCEPTANCE

In my last article titled, Let It Go I talked about the importance of, and how to release and relinquish something that is causing you emotional distress and holding you back. Today I reveal ACCEPTANCE. You may be thinking, “Wait a minute! We can’t do both!”. Well, yes, we can. Acceptance and letting go are not opposing forces but rather complementary aspects of the healing journey. Acceptance provides the understanding and self-awareness needed to move forward, while letting go is the active process of releasing the emotional weight of trauma and embracing positive change. Together, they create a path towards greater peace, resilience, and well-being.

Acceptance is a fundamental aspect of personal development and healing. When a woman experiences trauma in her life there comes a point where acceptance needs to happen. Acceptance plays a crucial role in the healing journey, especially for women who have experienced trauma. It can be a challenging yet transformative process.

Acceptance, in this context, can take several forms:

  1. Self-Acceptance: One of the first steps is often accepting yourself as a survivor and acknowledging the emotions and scars that come with trauma. This involves recognizing that it’s okay to feel the way you do and that you are not defined by your past experiences.
  2. Acceptance of the Past: Coming to terms with the events that led to the trauma can be incredibly difficult. It involves re-framing the narrative and understanding that the trauma is something that happened to you, not something you caused or deserved.
  3. Acceptance of Feelings: Trauma can bring up a wide range of emotions, including anger, guilt, and shame. Accepting these feelings without judgment is a significant step towards healing. Emotions are valid reactions to what you’ve been through.
  4. Acceptance of Support: It’s important to accept and seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Often, women who have experienced trauma isolate themselves, feeling that they should be strong and can handle it alone. Accepting help can be a powerful step towards healing. We are never meant to handle anything alone. We were created for community, not isolation.
  5. Acceptance of Healing as a Process: Healing from trauma is not linear, and it’s important to accept that there will be ups and downs. It’s not about “getting over” the trauma but learning to live with it and thrive despite it.
  6. Acceptance of Growth: Trauma can lead to personal growth and resilience. It’s about recognizing that you can emerge from it stronger and be a more compassionate person.
  7. Acceptance of Boundaries: Setting and enforcing boundaries is a crucial part of healing and living. Learning to say no when you need to and yes when it serves you is an act of self-acceptance, self-care, and self-love.
  8. Acceptance of Future Possibilities: Ultimately, acceptance can open the door to envisioning a future where you are not defined by your trauma. It’s about discovering who you truly are and what you want for your life beyond the pain of the past.

Ignoring acceptance in the process of healing from trauma can have several significant consequences:

  1. Stagnation in Healing: Without acceptance, individuals may remain stuck in a cycle of denial, avoidance, or suppression of their feelings and experiences. This can prevent them from making progress in their healing journey.
  2. Persistent Emotional Pain: Unresolved trauma can lead to ongoing emotional pain, including anxiety, depression, and flashbacks. Ignoring acceptance can contribute to the persistence of these painful emotions.
  3. Physical Health Consequences: Unresolved trauma can also manifest as physical health issues, such as chronic pain, sleep disturbances, and even autoimmune disorders. Ignoring acceptance may aggravate these physical symptoms.
  4. Strained Relationships: Trauma affects not only the individual but also their relationships with others. Avoiding acceptance may lead to difficulties in connecting with and trusting others, which can strain relationships and social support networks.
  5. Recurring Triggers: Trauma triggers can continue to resurface if acceptance is not addressed. These triggers can be emotionally distressing and disruptive to daily life.
  6. Escalating Coping Mechanisms: Some individuals may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse or self-harm to numb or avoid their trauma. Ignoring acceptance can perpetuate these destructive behaviors.
  7. Identity Crisis: Without acceptance, there may be a constant struggle with self-identity and self-worth. This can lead to feelings of confusion and a lack of direction in life.
  8. Increased Risk of Re-traumatization: Failing to acknowledge and accept the trauma can make individuals more vulnerable to re-traumatization, as they may not have developed healthy coping strategies or boundaries.
  9. Long-Term Impact on Mental Health: Unresolved trauma can have a long-term impact on mental health, potentially leading to more severe mental health conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

In essence, ignoring acceptance can prolong the negative effects of trauma and hinder an individual’s ability to lead a fulfilling and emotionally healthy life. It’s an essential step in the healing process to acknowledge what has happened and work through the associated emotions and experiences. This can lead to a more profound sense of self-awareness, resilience, and overall well-being.

The acceptance process is deeply personal and varies from person to person. There are, however, some general steps and strategies that can guide individuals on their journey toward acceptance. Pick and choose what you want to explore.

  1. Self-Awareness: Begin by taking time to reflect on your experiences and emotions. Self-awareness is a crucial first step in the acceptance process. Journaling or talking to a therapist can be helpful in this regard.
  2. Educate Yourself: Learn about trauma, its effects, and the healing process. Understanding the psychological and physiological aspects of trauma can help you make sense of your experiences.
  3. Seek Support: Reach out to a therapist, counselor, or support group specializing in trauma. Professional guidance can provide you with tools and strategies to navigate the acceptance process effectively. Supporting you on your journey to healing is the reason Wounded Women Rising exists. Join our Facebook group and join the conversation.
  4. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help you stay present and grounded as you confront difficult emotions related to the trauma.
  5. Express Emotions: Give yourself permission to feel and express your emotions, whether it’s through talking, writing, art, or other creative outlets. Emotions are a natural part of your healing process.
  6. Challenge Self-Blame: Many survivors of trauma blame themselves. It’s essential to recognize that you are not at fault for what happened to you and to challenge any self-blame or guilt.
  7. Set Boundaries: Establishing boundaries is crucial for self-care. Learning to say no when necessary and creating a safe space for yourself fosters acceptance and healing.
  8. Forgiveness: Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean condoning what happened; it means letting go of the anger and resentment that can be barriers to acceptance. Forgiveness can be a powerful step in the healing process. We will investigate forgiveness in future blog posts. In the meantime, check out our post on Forgiving Myself.
  9. Connect with Supportive Relationships: Surround yourself with friends and family who are understanding and supportive. Social support can make a meaningful difference in the acceptance process.
  10. Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you would offer to a friend. Self-compassion can help counter negative self-judgment.
  11. Focus on the Present and Future: While it’s essential to acknowledge the past, don’t let it define your entire identity. Focus on your goals, aspirations, and the future you want to create for yourself.
  12. Professional Help: Depending on the severity of the trauma, professional therapeutic interventions such as Pure Bioenergy Healing are especially beneficial.
  13. Self-Care: Prioritize self-care practices that nourish your physical and emotional well-being. This can include exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and engaging in activities you enjoy.

Once you have reached a place of acceptance, it can profoundly transform your experience of life. Acceptance opens up the door to a more positive and fulfilling life in several ways:

  1. Emotional Freedom: Acceptance allows individuals to let go of the intense emotional baggage that often accompanies trauma. This emotional freedom can lead to a greater sense of peace and contentment.
  2. Joy and Gratitude: Acceptance can shift the focus from what’s been lost to what remains and what can be gained. This shift often leads to increased feelings of joy and gratitude.
  3. Self-Awareness: Acceptance often involves self-reflection. This self-awareness can help individuals understand their triggers, needs, and values, leading to more authentic and purpose-driven lives. Self-awareness produces self-compassion. It’s easier to take care of oneself when you genuinely believe you deserve it.
  4. Enhanced Relationships: When you accept your own experiences and emotions, it becomes easier to connect with and support others. Your relationships may become more genuine and empathetic.
  5. Increased Resilience: Acceptance is a sign of resilience. It means you’ve faced adversity and grown stronger because of it. This resilience can help you navigate future challenges with greater confidence.
  6. Mindfulness and Presence: Acceptance encourages living in the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. This mindfulness can lead to a richer, more meaningful life.
  7. Creativity and Expression: Acceptance can unlock creativity and self-expression. Many individuals find solace and meaning in creative pursuits like art, music, or writing.
  8. A Sense of Purpose: As individuals gain clarity about their values and priorities, they often discover a deeper sense of purpose in life. They may feel compelled to make a positive impact on the world.
  9. Spiritual Growth: For some, the acceptance process leads to spiritual growth and a deeper connection to their inner selves or to a higher power.
  10. Healthy Coping Strategies: With acceptance comes the development of healthier coping strategies, which can replace destructive habits and addictions.
  11. Community and Support: Many individuals who have embraced acceptance become advocates or supporters for others who are on a similar journey, fostering a sense of community and purpose.

Life will continue to present challenges, but individuals who have integrated acceptance into their lives are often better equipped to face these challenges with resilience and a more positive outlook. Ultimately, the experience of life after acceptance can be marked by a greater sense of wholeness, authenticity, and well-being. It’s about embracing all facets of oneself and using that acceptance as a foundation for growth and fulfillment.

Healing Practices
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LET IT GO

I used to bristle at the words “let it go”. I often felt like people used this term as a platitude, something to say when they didn’t have an answer and didn’t want to talk to me about my issues. Saying “let it go” got them off the hook of getting involved in my life – even if it was just for the current circumstances I found myself in.

Many years ago when I slammed into menopause, I struggled with insomnia. I found that a lack of sleep altered who I was, how I thought, what I thought and how I expressed myself. At that time, I attended the women’s bible study at the church I attended. I do not remember what we were studying, but I do remember the conversation circled around “letting go and letting God”. I do remember asking the question, “How do you do that?” There was a bit of discussion but no answers on how to let it go. So, true to form I kept asking the same question. I got under the skin of some of the women. They would quote bible verses that had no meaning to the topic at hand. They would say, “Just let it go.” Our group leader was annoyed at the discussion and cut us off – abruptly. I sat there and stewed about it. I did not get an answer.

After class, two of the women waited for me outside of the church. I thought they were having a conversation amongst themselves. Little did I know they were waiting for me. These two women kept repeating, “Just let it go. God will handle it.”  Well, at that time I did not perceive God working in my life and He certainly was not helping with my insomnia. I left that bible study very angry. I was angry because I did not get an answer and angry because I was dismissed by the leader and other members of the group. It wasn’t until I arrived home and had a chance to think about the phrase, “let it go” that I realized that it was used more as a dismissal than anything helpful.  I have since learned that “letting it go” is a form of self love. How? Let me explain.

“Letting it go” is a phrase often used to describe the process of releasing or relinquishing something that is causing emotional distress or holding you back. It is about allowing yourself to move on from past experiences, negative emotions, or even physical possessions that no longer serve you in a positive way.

In the context of personal development and healing, “letting it go” can be a powerful concept. It means recognizing and acknowledging the emotions, thoughts, or traumas that may be weighing you down and then consciously deciding to release their grip on your life. It’s not about forgetting or denying what happened but rather choosing not to let it continue to negatively affect your present and future.

This process can involve various techniques such as mindfulness, therapy, journaling, or even talking with supportive friends or professionals. It’s about finding healthy ways to process and cope with difficult experiences and emotions so that you can move forward with a sense of self-awareness, self-confidence, and healing. Ultimately, “letting it go” is about freeing yourself from the burdens of the past so that you can fully embrace the present and create a better future for yourself. It’s a journey towards self-discovery and personal growth, an act of self-love.

Women, like anyone else, can find it difficult to “let it go” for a variety of reasons, especially after experiencing trauma or challenging life situations. It’s important to note that this difficulty is not limited to a specific gender but can be experienced by anyone. Here are some factors that can make it a challenge:

  1. Emotional Attachment: Women have strong emotional attachments to past experiences or relationships. These attachments can make it hard to move on because the memories are intertwined with deep emotions.
  2. Societal Expectations: Societal norms and expectations can sometimes place additional pressure on women to be caregivers, nurturers, and maintain relationships. This can make it challenging for some women to “let it go” because they may feel a sense of responsibility or guilt.
  3. Lack of Support: Having a support system is crucial for healing and letting go. Women who lack a support network may find it more challenging to process and release their emotions and experiences.
  4. Self-Worth and Confidence: Trauma or difficult experiences can erode a person’s self-worth and confidence, which can make it difficult to believe they deserve to let go and move forward.
  5. Fear of Repeating Patterns: Some women may fear that by letting go, they are setting themselves up to repeat past mistakes or enter similar harmful situations. This fear of the unknown can be a significant barrier.
  6. Coping Mechanisms: People often develop coping mechanisms, which might not be healthy, to deal with trauma. These coping mechanisms can become ingrained habits, making it difficult to let go because they’ve become a familiar way of dealing with pain or stress.
  7. Cultural and Family Influences: Cultural and family values can also play a role. Some cultures may place a strong emphasis on preserving family or relationship dynamics, even if they are unhealthy.
  8. Complexity of Trauma: Trauma can be extremely complex and deeply rooted. It may take time and professional assistance to unravel and address the layers of trauma and its effects.

It is essential to recognize that the process of “letting it go” is highly individualized. What works for one person may not work for another, and there’s no set timeline for healing. The key is to provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their experiences, emotions, and healing journey at their own pace. Here, at Wounded Women Rising, our goal is to provide you with the safe and supportive environment to grow and experience healing at the deepest level.

There are several steps that can be taken to “let it go” and begin the process of healing and moving forward. This is your “How To” list. Keep in mind that these steps can be customized to individual needs and circumstances. Pick and choose which steps you would like to introduce into your life. You do not have to do all of them. Here’s a general framework:

Self-Awareness and Acceptance:

Begin by acknowledging and accepting your feelings, whether they are related to trauma, past experiences, or negative emotions. Recognize that it’s okay to feel what you feel.

Seek Professional Help:

Consider working with a therapist, counselor, or trauma specialist. They can provide guidance, support, and specific therapeutic techniques to help you process and heal from trauma.

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you stay present and reduce the impact of intrusive thoughts and emotions. It can also aid in self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Journaling:

Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and emotional expression. Write about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This can help you gain insights and release pent-up emotions. Writing about your feelings and experiences can greatly increase the speed of your healing. Scientific evidence says so.

Express Emotions:

Find healthy outlets for expressing your emotions. This might include talking to a trusted friend, engaging in creative activities like art or music, or participating in support groups.

Forgiveness:

Work on forgiving yourself and others involved in the traumatic or difficult experiences. Forgiveness is a process that can lead to emotional freedom. Remember that forgiveness begins with willing to be willing to forgive.

Self-Care:

Prioritize self-care practices that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can include regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques.

Set Boundaries:

Learn to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself from further harm and to create a safe environment for your healing process.

Educate Yourself:

Educate yourself about trauma and its effects. Understanding the science behind trauma can help demystify your experiences and normalize your feelings.

Support Network:

Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family who can provide emotional support and encouragement. Consider joining support groups with individuals who have similar experiences.

Positive Affirmations:

Practice positive affirmations to boost self-confidence and self-worth. Replacing negative self-talk with affirmations can be transformative. Be aware of how you speak to yourself. Use kind and loving words with yourself.

Professional Growth:

Invest in your personal development and growth. This can include setting and pursuing career goals, acquiring new skills, or exploring new interests. These practices build self-confidence and self-esteem.

Patience and Self-Compassion:

Understand that healing is a journey, and it may have its ups and downs. Be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion, especially during difficult moments.

Gradual Exposure:

If you’re dealing with specific phobias or anxieties related to trauma, consider gradual exposure therapy with a trained therapist to help desensitize those triggers.

Celebrate Progress:

Celebrate small victories along the way. Recognize and honor your progress, no matter how incremental it may seem.

Remember that the journey of letting go and healing is unique to each individual. It’s essential to find the strategies and approaches that work best for you. Seeking professional guidance and support from others who have been there and walked the journey to healing can be a crucial part of this process.

When you “let it go” you can expect several positive changes and transformations in your life. While the specific outcomes will vary from person to person, here are some general expectations:

Emotional Freedom:

Letting go allows you to release pent-up emotions, resentment, anger, or sadness. As a result, you’ll experience emotional freedom and relief from the weight of these negative feelings.

Increased Self-Awareness:

As you work through your past and let go of what no longer serves you, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of yourself. This self-awareness can be a powerful tool for personal growth and making better choices.

Improved Mental Health:

Letting go of trauma and negative experiences can lead to improved mental health. You’ll likely experience reduced anxiety, depression, and overall better psychological well-being.

Enhanced Self-Confidence:

As you heal and gain self-awareness, your self-confidence will naturally increase. You’ll believe in your ability to handle challenges and make positive decisions.

Better Relationships:

Letting go often involves forgiving yourself and others. This forgiveness can lead to healthier relationships as you release grudges and foster more empathetic and compassionate connections with others.

Greater Resilience:

Dealing with and letting go of difficult experiences builds resilience. You’ll be better equipped to face future challenges with a more resilient mindset.

Physical Well-Being:

Emotional healing can have a positive impact on physical health. Reduced stress and emotional baggage can lead to better sleep, improved immune function, and overall physical well-being.

Clarity of Goals and Priorities:

Letting go often involves reevaluating your life’s priorities and goals. You’ll gain clarity on what truly matters to you, which can guide you in making more purposeful decisions.

Opportunities for Growth:

Letting go opens up space for personal growth and new opportunities. You’ll be more open to trying new things, stepping out of your comfort zone, and pursuing your passions.

Happiness and Contentment:

Ultimately, the goal of letting go is to find happiness and contentment in your life. You’ll be better equipped to enjoy the present moment and look forward to the future with optimism.

It’s important to remember that the process of letting go is not a one-time event but an ongoing journey. Healing and personal growth take time, patience, and self-compassion. There may still be challenges and setbacks along the way, but with the right support and strategies, you can continue to move forward toward a more fulfilling and authentic life.

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the fragrance emitted by the violet as it is crushed by the heel that treads upon it. (Mark Twain)

Have you ever heard someone say, “I will say I am sorry but I am not going to forgive you.”

From a young age, we are taught forgive and forget. 

Just as  nutritionally, our cells grow from  what we consume, absorb the vitamins and detox the remainder.   Emotionally, spiritually to grow we also need to have an experience, learn from the experience, and detox what is not good for us.  Get rid of it. Let it go.

Imagine if the garbage did not get collected every 2 weeks.  How much rotting stuff would accumulate?  What would that do to the smell, and comfort of your home?  What would that waste attract? Mice, rats, flies, creepie crawlies?   If we do not take out the emotional refuse/garbage that stink, accumulates. It increases. 
There is a Proverbs saying bitterness rots the bones. A bitter mindset affects our whole being.  It rots the bones.  We are energetic beings.  Holding on to the hurts, pain, anger, feelings of betrayal locks us into a cycle of pain.  When one harbours an emotional pain, it will become a physical pain. To heal a physical pain, forgive an emotional pain. Forgiving releases the grip the pain has on you.  

Imagine the issue you have, with yourself or with someone else.  Holding the grudge, the hurt, the anger, and below the anger,  the fear hurts you.  You cannot receive anything when you have a closed hand. By holding onto these issues, we close our hands, and we close our hearts.  Eventually we poison our minds. To end this cycle, start at the high end.  Start with an old mediation prayer from Hawaii.

This is the prayer called The  Ho’oponopono .  It translates to the correction. It can be said with eyes closed. Think of the transgression, the person or the situation. Repeat this phrase aloud 7 or 8 times.

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

I love you.

Thank you.

The remorse, forgiveness, gratitude and love will change the energy.  Even if a person has passed away, or you are not speaking with them, say it.   There is always 2 sides to every disagreement.  Acknowledging our contribution, I am sorry.  Ask for forgiveness. Release.  Give forgiveness. Release. Love from the agape love, the humanity love, remembering we are love. Be thankful. Have gratitude for the lesson, the relationship, the past, the love.

It may take more than one time to release an old, imbedded hurt.  Keep at it. When the hurt arises, say it again.  This is for your well-being. Your heart health. Your body will be freer, or flexible.  Your thoughts will be clear and without malice or angst.  Your heart will be open.  You will be able to receive. Watch for the changes. Expect the miracles.

If you need help with this, contact us.  I have discovered that through Purebioenergy Healing Therapy many things I have encountered through life, I have been able to heal. To let go of the pain, worry, and bitterness that binds us.

This is a Big thing I had to forgive.  When I was in my early 30’s, I was going to a local Fertility Clinic . I had met Dr. Daya through the clinic on Pine St. in Kitchener.  He suggested to go to the MacMaster Clinic as it was superior to the clinic we had been attending.  After many tests, (many which I had already done), he recommended a surgical procedure that was quite significant. Cutting and changing the uterus shape, called a Tompkins Metroplasty.  I did not feel comfortable with this type of invasive procedure. It had a long 6 week recouperation period.  I declined.  He brought it back up at a meeting when my then husband( now ex) was present. My ex told me that I had to comply and get this surgery done.  Even while awaiting the surgery, my intuition was screaming at me. Get up, leave , just walk away.  I did have the surgery. It was shoddily completed with the students doing the final stitching up. There was damage to nerves, muscles were cut and not properly stitched. It created a ridge on my abdomen which has never flattened out.

A number of years later, I received a letter from MacMaster Hospital that an inquiry and lawsuit was in process, as this outdated surgical procedure by Dr. Daya had been done on women who did not even have the issue, the surgery was meant to correct.  I was one of those 35 women who did not have anything wrong with my uterus. It was healthy. Dr. Daya committed medical fraud, damaging 189 women, some permanently disabled as a result.   My physical body was damaged by him. My emotional body was affected resulting in a big lack of trust. There are many layers to this unnecessary trauma.  The only thing I can do is to address how I feel, and think and act.  I choose to heal.  During a Purebioenergy Healing Therapy healing session many years later, Zoran, my mentor, asked me whether there was something that I was angry about.  I didn’t think I was angry.  Unrecognized anger can show up looking like depression. I am grateful to say I have healed from this.  All of it. It no longer defines me in anyway. You can forgive and release carrying the burden of it.

What do you want to release, forgive and need to let go of?   

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. (Mark Twain)