If you’re like me, you’ve experienced some form of trauma in your life. And if you’re anything like me, you might also be prone to being judged by others because of it. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be who you are, and that no one deserves to be judged for their trauma. Keep reading to find out why.
We all make judgements.
It is inevitable that we make judgements about other people – whether we realize it or not. These judgements can lead to pain and difficulty with our relationships. But while it may seem hard, the best thing we can do is try to be aware of your own judgements and be mindful of how those judgements may affect those around us. The important thing to remember is that everyone is just doing their best, even if it doesn’t look the same as yours.
Why do we judge others?
Judging others is something we’ve all done, but why do we do it? Is it because deep down, we’re scared of them and/or their differences? Or maybe it’s because their behavior doesn’t fit our idea of what’s “normal”. Since we are unable to understand it, we make assumptions about them. Whatever the reason may be, it’s clear that judging people isn’t a healthy habit to have. Instead of looking for the negatives in someone else’s life, try to see the good that others bring. This practice can make us more tolerant and open-minded people and give us a chance to become better versions of ourselves.
Can we break down the barriers that our judgements create between us and others?
Breaking down the barriers created by judgement can seem like a difficult challenge. In reality, it is one of the simple things to do. All it takes is a little vulnerability and an open mind – something that a lot of people are scared of. Because we have been judged should we be actively judging others? Is there a possibility that because we know the hurt of being judged we can stop the cycle of “you hurt me, now I get to hurt you”? If the person who hurt you is not in the line of fire, could we quit taking it out on the next person who comes into your field of vision?
If we worked to view the world around us through a different lens, we would be choosing to challenge ourselves and our perspective. Instead of seeing the worst in people, what if we actively chose to seek out the best? While it may not always be the easiest path to take, the personal growth we can gain from taking this approach is invaluable. By recognizing and appreciating the good within someone, we open ourselves up to a more meaningful connection with that person. It’s never too late to start noticing all of the wonderful things that are waiting for us as soon as we make a conscious effort to look for them!
A few months ago, I ran into someone at the mall that I had gone to school with a way back when. I hadn’t ever really talked to them much before and honestly, the first time we’d ever interacted wasn’t memorable in a good way. So, when I saw them, I expected it to be awkward and maybe even hostile. But instead, they treated me like an old friend and joked around with me while we caught up on our lives. In that moment, I couldn’t help but realize how wrong my first judgement of them had been; my mind was completely changed at the fact they were just so warm and kind. It left me thinking twice about judging people on appearances or quick conversations afterward; you never fully know what someone is like until you’ve gotten to know them better!
We all have certain prejudices and biases – it’s unavoidable, but that doesn’t mean we should shy away from challenging them. We have the ability to think critically. We have the ability to ask ourselves why we’re feeling a certain way. We have the ability to work through our judgemental assumptions.
If we want to make progress in creating more unity between ourselves and the people around us, stop being so quick to judge and start having conversations with people who think differently than we do. During open conversations we may even learn why they judged us in the first place. When we come together and openly discuss our opinions while understanding that we may disagree at times, it helps us become more tolerant of each other’s beliefs which creates a safe environment where relationships can grow.
Join me in making a conscious effort to see the best in people; when we look past surface-level differences, we may find qualities we deeply connect with. We won’t always be proven right in our judgements of those around us, but isn’t it better to give someone a chance than jump to conclusions?
Is there one thing you can do today or be aware of today to ease your burden of judgmental thinking? Be kind to yourself and others; recognize where our minds take us when it comes to assessing someone else’s character.
We’re all human beings with feelings, flaws, strengths, and worries. Champion yourself in being open minded towards others. Consciously let go of judgement, so that meaningful connections can be established with those that share the same world. Let us take actions together towards breaking down these limits. You never know what kind of meaningful connection you just might find!
