Blog Posts
Blog Posts

Blog Posts

Healing Practices
Featured

This Is Why Nothing You Try Is Working

It didn’t happen all at once. There wasn’t a single moment she could point to and say, that’s when everything changed. It was quieter than that.

At first, it was just a feeling. A pause in the morning that lingered a little longer than usual. A moment in the mirror where something felt, unfamiliar. Not wrong. Just, not quite right.

She was doing everything she needed to do. Getting through the day. Taking care of what mattered. Showing up for the people who counted on her. She had learned how to keep things moving. Even on the days when her energy was low or her thoughts felt heavy or something inside of her just wanted to stop. She knew how to push through the exhaustion. She knew how to stay calm in conversations that didn’t feel safe, how to choose her words carefully so things didn’t escalate. She had learned how to read the room. To notice tone. To sense when something was about to shift. She had learned how to carry things quietly. The tension. The confusion. The moments that stayed with her long after they were over.

And over time, that way of living became normal. So normal, in fact, that even when life became quieter her body didn’t immediately follow. It still held the patterns of staying alert of staying careful of staying in control.

And from the outside, her life looked steady. But inside, there was a distance she couldn’t quite explain.

She noticed it in small ways. The way decisions felt harder than they used to. The way she would second-guess herself, even on simple things. The way her emotions would either rise too quickly or not come at all. Sometimes she felt overwhelmed. Sometimes she felt nothing. And neither felt like her.

So, she did what most of us do. She tried to figure it out.  Maybe she needed a better routine. Maybe she needed more discipline. Maybe there was something she just hadn’t uncovered yet. She began looking for answers. Reading. Listening. Trying to understand what was happening inside of her.  And for a while, that felt helpful. It gave her something to hold onto. Something to work with. But over time, something else began to happen. The more she searched, the further away she seemed to feel.  Because every new idea, every new explanation, quietly carried the same message underneath it. There’s something here that needs to be fixed. And she started to wonder, what if I just haven’t found it yet?

It’s a confusing place to be in. Frustrating, in a way that’s hard to explain. Because you’re doing everything you can and still not finding the answers you’re looking for. You’re not falling apart. You’re functioning. You’re managing. You are still holding it all together. And still, something feels off.

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. And I want to offer you something.

What if this isn’t about finding the thing that’s wrong? What if what you’re feeling is not a sign that something is missing but a sign that something within you has been waiting for your attention? Because when a woman has lived through difficult seasons, whether it was a relationship that took more than it gave or years of putting herself second or simply carrying more than anyone ever saw, something very real happens.

She adapts. She becomes strong in ways she never planned to be. She learns how to keep going. How to hold it together, how to get through. And over time she can begin to lose touch with her own voice.  Not because she’s done anything wrong. But because she’s been doing what she needed to do. She’s been surviving.

And survival, even when it’s quiet, has a way of pulling our attention outward. To what needs to be done. To what’s expected. To what keeps everything moving. And slowly, without even noticing it the connection to her own voice can become harder to hear.

So, when she finally pauses, when things begin to slow down, even just a little, she doesn’t immediately feel clarity. She feels uncertainty. Not because she doesn’t know who she is. But because she hasn’t had the space to hear herself. And this is the part that often gets misunderstood.

You don’t come back to yourself by searching harder. You don’t reconnect by fixing anything. You rediscover yourself through something much quieter than that. Through safety. Through small moments where nothing is required of you. Through noticing what your body is holding
without rushing past it. Through allowing a feeling to rise without needing to change it. Through listening without immediately questioning what you hear.

At first, it can feel unfamiliar. Even uncomfortable. You’ve spent so long being in motion. But if you stay with it, something begins to shift. You start to feel small moments of stability. A little more clarity. A little more ease. You begin to recognize what feels right for you and what no longer does.

And this is the part that often goes unseen. Because when nothing looks obviously wrong, the instinct is to keep searching for answers. To try harder. To figure it out. To find the thing that will finally make it make sense.

But what if this isn’t something to solve? What if what you’re feeling isn’t a sign that something is wrong but a sign that something within you is ready to be heard? Not fixed. Not changed. Just heard.

And from that place, your choices begin to change. Not because you forced them. Not because you finally found the right strategy. But because you are no longer functioning from disconnection.

You are moving from a place of clarity. And that changes everything.

Your confidence doesn’t come from pushing. Confidence grows from trusting what you feel and knowing that you can respond to it. Your direction becomes clearer. Not all at once, but in a way that feels stable and real. And the life you begin to create starts to feel like it belongs to you again.

This is the work I care about. Not helping you fix yourself. Not helping you search for one more answer. But walking with you as you gently rediscover yourself.

Because nothing about you is missing. Nothing about you needs to be corrected. There is simply a part of you that hasn’t been given the space to be heard. And when she is heard, everything begins to feel different.

If something in this felt familiar, the next step is simple. Book your Heartbreak Freedom Session. On this call, we will talk about where you are and what you dream of. I’ll help you see what’s been happening beneath the surface and guide you toward your next steps with clarity and support.

This is your chance to start creating the life you deserve.

Personal Growth
Featured

The Boundaries Within: Honoring the Promises You Make to Yourself

When we talk about boundaries, most people immediately think about the limits we set with others. Saying no, protecting our time, or stepping away from unhealthy relationships. But there is another type of boundary that is just as important, and often even more powerful.

These are internal boundaries.

Internal boundaries are the quiet agreements we make with ourselves about how we will live, what we will accept from our own behavior, and how we will honor our values.

They guide the choices we make when no one is watching. They shape the habits we allow, the thoughts we entertain, and the expectations we hold for ourselves. 

Unlike external boundaries, which protect us from outside influences, internal boundaries protect us from drifting away from our own values and purpose.

They are the promises we make to ourselves and keep.

When our internal boundaries are strong, we experience more peace, clarity, and confidence. When they are weak or unclear, we may feel scattered, exhausted, frustrated or disappointed in ourselves. At their core, internal boundaries are deeply connected to our values. They reflect who we truly want to be and how we choose to live.

Examples of Internal Boundaries

Here are three examples of internal boundaries many people set as part of their growth and healing journey.

1. Protecting Your Energy

An internal boundary might sound like:
“I will not push myself past exhaustion just to meet unrealistic expectations.”

This boundary honors the value of self-respect and wellness. It means allowing yourself rest instead of constantly overworking or over-giving.

2. Speaking to Yourself with Compassion

Another internal boundary could be:
“I will not allow harsh self-criticism to dominate my thoughts.” or “I think and speak only words of love.”

This boundary protects your emotional well-being and reflects the value of self-kindness. When negative self-talk appears, you gently redirect it with truth and compassion.

3. Staying Aligned with Your Integrity

An internal boundary may also sound like:
“I will make decisions that align with my values, even when it is difficult.”

This boundary supports honesty, authenticity, and personal integrity. It keeps you grounded in who you are rather than bending to pressure or fear. Internal boundaries become stronger when they are consciously aligned with our values and the person we are becoming. Here are three ways to begin strengthening them.

1. Clarify Your Core Values

Internal boundaries grow naturally when you understand what truly matters to you. Take time to reflect on questions such as:

  • What qualities do I want to live by?
  • What kind of person do I want to be in difficult moments?
  • What brings me peace and alignment?

When you know your values, it becomes easier to create internal limits that support them.

2. Practice Gentle Self-Awareness

Pay attention to the moments when you feel drained, conflicted, or out of alignment. These feelings often signal that an internal boundary has been crossed. Physically this may feel like heat rising, or stomach issues or deep fatigue. You may feel a flurry of emotions.

Instead of judging yourself, simply notice the pattern and ask: “What boundary within myself needs strengthening here?”

Awareness is the first step toward change.

3. Create Small Daily Commitments

Internal boundaries are strengthened through consistent choices, not dramatic change. This might look like:

  • Taking a few quiet moments for yourself each day
  • Pausing before reacting emotionally
  • Choosing rest when your body asks for it
  • Speaking kindly to yourself when mistakes happen

Each small decision reinforces the message that your values matter and your well-being deserves protection.

A Gentle Reminder

Internal boundaries are not about perfection or strict control. They are about living with intention and integrity. They help you remain connected to your wisdom, your values, and your higher self. The more you honor these inner agreements, the more your life begins to reflect who you truly are. Because ultimately, the most important boundaries we set are not the ones we speak to others. They are the ones we quietly keep within ourselves.

Let’s take a few quiet moments and reflect on these questions:

  • Where in my life do I feel out of alignment with my values?
  • What internal promise have I been neglecting or ignoring?
  • What small boundary could I set within myself today to honour my well-being?

Write freely and without judgment. This reflection is not about criticism. It is about awareness and growth. Often when we write in cursive, our subconscious thoughts come forward. Since our thoughts create our habits, so what thoughts are operating in the background?

Here’s a wee poem I wrote, and an affirmation you can choose to quote.

Internal Me

I hold the promises I make to me

That promise will shape the best me; I can be.

This part of me is precious and true.

The glass through which I perceive my world view.

My inner compass, my divine true north

Keeps my spirit going forth.

Each one of us is wondrously created.

When you uncover your divine truth your fears are abated.

With strong, open hearts,

A mind pure and light,

May our internal selves

Be joy filled and shine bright.

I honor the promises I make to myself.
My choices reflect my values, my wisdom, and my worth.

For more insights on boundaries, check out my other blog post.

Navigating Life Changes
Featured

When Life Feels Shaky, Focus on the Day in Front of You.

Five practical ways to create steadiness.

There are seasons in life when everything feels uncertain.

You wake up and the ground beneath you doesn’t feel solid. You may not say the words “identity crisis,” but somewhere inside, you feel lost. You might even whisper, “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

This is especially common after abuse, divorce, or any major life disruption. The roles shift. The routines change. The version of you that once felt familiar feels far away.

And yet, the day still arrives.

The dishes still need washing. The emails still need answering. You still have the job to attend to. The world keeps moving, even when you feel unsteady.

When life feels shaky, the instinct is to solve the problem. Often, we decide that the problem is us. That now we need to figure ourselves out. Reinvent who we are. But when your energy is low, that is too big of a task.

Instead, focus on the day in front of you.

Not your whole life.
Not your future.
Just today.

Here are five practical ways to create steadiness when you are simply trying to make it through.

1. Shrink the Day Into Manageable Pieces

When everything feels overwhelming, your nervous system is probably scanning for danger. You do not need a five-year plan. You need containment.

Break your day into small sections.

Morning.
Afternoon.
Evening.

You only have to move through the section you are currently in. You do not need to solve tonight while you are still drinking your morning coffee.

Delay some of your to-do list if possible. Determine what your capacity is for the day and honour it. Super woman is a myth.

This simple mental shift reduces pressure. It reminds your system that you are not responsible for carrying the entire weight of your life at once.

2. Stabilize Your Body Before You Analyze Your Life

When you feel lost, your mind will try to fix it by thinking harder.

But identity questions get louder when your body is depleted.

Before you ask, who am I now? ask:

Have I eaten something nourishing?
Have I had water?
Have I stepped outside?
Have I taken three slow breaths?

Practical lifestyle stability is not trivial. It is foundational.

A short walk. A warm shower. A consistent bedtime. These small rhythms communicate safety to your nervous system.

And when your body feels a little steadier, your thoughts often follow.

3. Reduce Decisions on Low-Energy Days

Decision fatigue drains already fragile energy.

On the days when life feels shaky, simplify.

Wear something comfortable without overthinking it. I used to pick my clothes the night before so I didn’t have to decide in the morning based on my mood.

Repeat meals you know feel good. During one difficult season, my go-to was simple chicken, roasted potatoes, and a bagged salad. Nutritious, predictable, and with leftovers. No decisions required.

Postpone nonessential decisions. It is not irresponsible to say, “I can’t do this today.” You are not being lazy. You are conserving capacity. Make any necessary apologies – if it’s safe to do so. Being honest about your capacity allows others the opportunity to support you.

When you do not know who you are anymore, even simple choices can feel heavy. Reducing decisions gives your mind space to rest.

A little note for those in the divorce process. Just because someone wants you to make all the decisions right now does not mean you must accommodate. The phrase, “Let me think about that,” gives you time and space before acting. It does not remove responsibility. It restores capacity.

4. Create One Predictable Anchor

Uncertainty shrinks when something in your day remains consistent.

Choose one small, repeatable ritual.

The same mug each morning.
A short walk at the same time each day.
Five minutes in a quiet chair before bed.

If your mornings looks like, dragging yourself out of bed and then rushing yourself out the door ponder some ways to start your morning in a calmer state. Many leaders speak about the power of morning routines. What I have learned is this: they do not have to be long. They have to be consistent.

I have subscribed to a morning routine for many years now. My morning routine has changed over the years – totally dependant on how much time I gave myself. I’ve had 10-minute routines. I’ve had hour long routines.  Currently I have a 40-minute routine that has exercise and meditation. 20 minutes of each.

Early on I realized that morning routines actually start the night before. Preparing for the next day started with making my lunch, showering or having a bath, picking out my wardrobe for the day and reading before lights out. All this took less than an hour.

Predictability builds internal safety. Safety builds clarity. Over time, this anchor becomes evidence that not everything is unstable. Something remains steady. And that steadiness slowly strengthens you.

5. End the Day With One Honest Acknowledgment

On shaky days, your mind will automatically scan for what you did not accomplish. You will notice the unfinished laundry. The unanswered messages. The moments you felt irritable or distant. The ways you believe you should have handled things better. When you already feel unsure of who you are, this internal criticism can quietly reinforce the fear that you are failing at life.

So instead of evaluating your worth at the end of the day, practice acknowledgment.

Before you go to bed, pause for a moment and name one thing that is true:

I got out of bed.
I showed up for work.
I made dinner.
I answered one hard email.
I asked for help.
I took a breath instead of reacting.

It does not have to be impressive. It has to be honest. This is not positive thinking. It is evidence gathering.

When life feels shaky, your brain collects proof that you are unstable or incapable. Ending your day with one acknowledgment interrupts that pattern. It reminds you that you are still here, still participating, still capable of small steady actions.

There was a season in my own life when my only real goal was to move from morning coffee to bedtime without unraveling. I was not building anything grand. I was not discovering my purpose. I was simply trying to stay steady enough to function. And on many nights, the only thing I could honestly say was, “I made it.”

That sentence carried more strength than I realized at the time. Over weeks and months, that quiet acknowledgment began rebuilding something deeper than confidence. It rebuilt trust. Not the loud kind of trust that says, “I have it all figured out.” The steady kind that says, “I can move through hard days without losing myself.”

If you are in a season where you feel lost, this simple practice matters more than you realize. Identity does not return in dramatic moments. It returns through repetition. Through small, steady confirmations that you are still showing up for your own life.

Sometimes the most powerful sentence you can whisper before sleep is this: “I made it through today.”

If You Feel Like You Don’t Know Who You Are Anymore

When women tell me they feel lost, what they often mean is this: life changed faster than they could adapt. They often assume something is wrong with them. As if they failed to hold on to who they were. Feeling lost is not a problem to be solved. It is often a pause. A transition.

If you are navigating life after abuse, violence, trauma or divorce, your system may still be carrying more than you realize. Trying to “find yourself” while you still feel internally braced can create more pressure. The most powerful thing you can do is create daily steadiness first.

Identity returns through safety.
Clarity returns through calm.
Strength returns through repetition.

If your days feel like something you are surviving rather than living, it may be time to gently address what your system is still holding.

On February 24, I will be hosting a free workshop called Make Peace With Your Past. We will explore simple, practical ways to reduce the emotional load you are carrying so that life feels steadier from the inside out.

You do not have to figure out who you are today. You only need to create enough steadiness to move through the day in front of you.

And that is enough for now.

Blog Posts Emotions
Featured

Emotional Safety Begins Within

Emotional Safety Begins Within: How Self-Talk Shapes Self-Confidence

Emotional safety does not begin in our relationships with others.
It begins within our heart and our mind.

It begins in the way we speak to ourselves.

Before we feel confident in the world, before we trust our decisions or feel anchored in who we are, our nervous system needs to feel safe. And that sense of safety is shaped, or quietly eroded, moment by moment by our inner dialogue.  Before we feel grounded in who we are, we need to feel emotionally safe inside our own minds. Self-talk is the constant conversation happening beneath our awareness. It interprets our experiences, narrates our mistakes, and quietly teaches our nervous system what to expect from life. When that inner voice is critical, dismissive, or dishonest, the body stays on alert. When it is kind, clear, and supportive, the body begins to settle.

Emotional safety and self-confidence are deeply connected. And one of the most powerful ways to strengthen both is by becoming intentional about how we communicate with ourselves.

Thoughts and the Central Nervous System

Every thought you think sends a signal through your central nervous system.

Critical or fear-based thoughts activate the sympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for fight, flight, or freeze or fawn. This can show up as anxiety, tension, irritability, racing thoughts, insomnia or emotional exhaustion. When the nervous system stays in this state for too long, self-confidence erodes. It becomes harder to trust yourself, make decisions, or feel grounded.

Supportive, honest thoughts activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the state of rest, regulation, and repair. This is where clarity lives. This is where intuition becomes accessible. This is where confidence can grow.

Your body does not distinguish between an external threat and an internal one. Harsh self-talk is experienced by the nervous system as danger.

That is why emotional safety begins with awareness.

1. Awareness: Noticing the Thoughts That Frequent Your Mind

You cannot change what you are not aware of.

Most self-talk runs automatically. Thoughts like:

I should be over this by now.

  • Why am I like this?
  • I’ll deal with it later.
  • I’m not doing enough.

These thoughts may feel factual, but they are often conditioned patterns shaped by past experiences, expectations, and survival strategies.

Awareness means gently noticing:

  • What thoughts repeat most often?
  • What emotional tone do they carry?
  • What happens in your body when they arise?

Do your shoulders tighten?
Does your breath become shallow?
Does your energy drop?

This awareness alone can begin to calm the nervous system. When you observe rather than react, you create a pause. And that pause is where emotional safety begins.

2. Curiosity: Where Did These Thoughts Come From?

Once you notice your self-talk, the next step is curiosity, not judgment.

Instead of asking, What’s wrong with me for thinking this?
Ask. Where did I learn this voice?

Many thought patterns originate from:

  • Childhood conditioning
  • Past relationships
  • Cultural or spiritual expectations
  • Times when honesty felt unsafe

That critical voice may have once protected you. It may have helped you avoid conflict, stay alert, or meet expectations. But what once supported survival may now be undermining confidence.

Curiosity signals safety to the nervous system. It shifts you out of self-attack and into self-understanding. When the body senses curiosity instead of criticism, it softens.

And a softened nervous system is more open to change.

3. Pausing to Listen: The Advantage of Calm and Clarity

You cannot hear your thoughts clearly when your nervous system is dysregulated.

When you’re anxious or overwhelmed, thoughts feel louder, faster, and more convincing. That’s why calming the body comes before changing the mind.

Pausing may look like:

  • Taking three slow breaths
  • Placing a hand on your chest or belly
  • Sitting quietly for 30 seconds
  • Squeeze and release your muscles

This pause activates the parasympathetic nervous system. As the body settles, clarity returns.

Clarity allows you to listen, not just to the thought itself, but to what’s underneath it. Often beneath self-criticism is fear, fatigue, or an unmet need.

When you become calm enough to listen, you move from reaction to response. And response is where your power lives.

4. Capturing the Thought: Creating Space and Choice

Once you are aware and calm enough to listen, the next step is to capture the thought.

Capturing a thought means naming it.

Instead of:
I’m failing.

You say:
I’m noticing the thought that I’m failing.

This simple shift creates space between you and the thought. You are no longer fused with it, you are observing it.

This matters deeply for the nervous system. It reminds your body that thoughts are not commands or truths they are experiences that can be examined.

Capturing thoughts restores agency. It gives you back choice.

5. Recognizing Your Power to Change Your Thoughts

Here is the truth many people were never taught:

You may not control the first thought that appears but you do have power over what happens next.

When you capture a thought, you can respond to it.

This is where self-confidence begins to rebuild.

Responding does not mean arguing with the thought or forcing positivity. It means offering yourself grace.

6. Replacing the Thought With Grace Toward Yourself

Graceful self-talk supports nervous system regulation. It communicates safety, patience, and support.

For example:

  • I should be stronger than this becomes
    This is hard, and I’m allowed to take my time.
  • I don’t trust myself becomes
    I’m rebuilding trust one choice at a time.
  • I’m failing becomes
    I’m learning, and learning takes courage.

Grace does not deny reality. It meets reality with compassion.

When your nervous system feels safe, your mind becomes more flexible. When your mind is flexible, confidence grows naturally.

How Emotional Safety Builds Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is not created by pushing harder or silencing doubt. It is built through repeated experiences of inner safety.

Each time you:

  • Notice a thought
  • Get curious about its origin
  • Pause to calm your body
  • Capture the thought
  • Respond with grace

You teach your nervous system a new message:
I am safe with myself.

Over time, this changes everything. How you make decisions, how you trust your intuition, how you relate to others, and how you move through the world.

A Gentle Reminder

Changing self-talk is not about perfection. It’s about orientation—turning toward yourself instead of away.

There will be days when the old voice is loud. That doesn’t mean you’re falling back. It means your nervous system is asking for care.

Emotional safety is the foundation upon which self-confidence is built. And emotional safety begins with how you speak to yourself.

You don’t need to become someone new.
Gently start to become kinder and clearer with the wonderful woman you already are.

If you would like support with a few methods to help you with this, Rose and I are here to be of assistance.   You can join our free webinar “Make Peace with Your Past”. Download the Belief Blossoms e-book and/or book a free Heartbreak Freedom Session to have someone who cares listen.  Every month we offer an Online PureBioenergy Healing Therapy to calm your mind, align your head and your heart, and balance your body.  You are not alone.

That is where healing and confidence begin.

Blog Posts Personal Growth
Featured

I Stopped Making New Year’s Resolutions.

I have never liked New Year’s resolutions.

I’ve tried. I’ve watched others swear by them. And still, something about them has never sat well with me.

January 1 has always felt less like a fresh start and more like a scoreboard being reset. As if the clock strikes midnight and suddenly there is an unspoken expectation to do better, be better, and try harder. As if who you were on December 31st is no longer quite enough.

What rises up in me is pressure first. Then anxiety. Because right behind the excitement of a “new year” comes the quiet fear of failure. The sense that if I do not change fast enough or visibly enough, I have somehow missed the point.

The part that troubles me most is not the desire to grow. Growth matters to me. What doesn’t sit right is the expectation that change should happen simply because a calendar tells us it’s time. There is rarely reflection in that moment. Little curiosity about who we are now. Almost no space to ask who we are becoming. And without that, the whole thing can feel less like intention and more like obligation.

Why resolutions so often fall apart

Most New Year’s resolutions fail for a simple reason. They are made without a reason.

We decide what we should do before we understand why we want to do it. We commit to habits, goals, or identities that sound good, look responsible, or seem expected, without checking whether they actually fit our life, our season, or our values.

It’s a bit like buying a beautiful planner in January. The pages are crisp. The intention is sincere. A few weeks in, the planner sits unused. Not because we are lazy or undisciplined, but because the structure was never designed around the life we are actually living.

When there is no clear why, motivation fades quickly. When we don’t understand what we are moving toward.  Every setback feels personal. The failure isn’t the resolution itself. It’s that we skipped the part where we get to know ourselves first.

For me, that was the beginning of a different way of approaching change.

When I chose to do it differently

This shift didn’t come from a desire to be different or to reject tradition. It came from a season of deep change in my life.

After my divorce was finalized, and after my mom and a dear friend passed into glory, life felt quieter in a way that couldn’t be ignored. For many years before that, my focus had been on taking care of other people. I did what was needed. I did what was asked. I showed up. I kept going. There wasn’t much space left for asking what I wanted or who I was becoming.

When those chapters closed, I found myself with something I hadn’t had in a long time, time to think.

Not time to fix myself. Time to reflect.

I realized that I didn’t want to make changes because I was supposed to. I wanted to understand who I was now. The woman standing here was not the same woman who had lived through those earlier seasons. Any meaningful change had to begin with knowing her, not correcting her.

That’s when I stopped trying to start over. I began looking for a way to stay connected to myself as the year unfolded.

Choosing one word

Instead of making a list of resolutions, I began choosing one word to guide me through the year after I read a Facebook post.

I choose my one word carefully. Not quickly. I choose my word intentionally.

It usually comes after some quiet reflection, after I’ve had time to look at my life honestly and ask myself what I need more of, not what I should want, but what would actually support me.

Once I choose the word, I write it down and post it on the wall near my desk. That’s where I see it every day.

It’s not on my bathroom mirror. I don’t like clutter in the bathroom. I can tolerate clutter at my desk.

That word becomes a quiet companion. It stays front of mind simply because it’s there. I glance at it often, sometimes without even realizing I’m doing it. Does it guide every decision I make? No. I’m human. Life happens.

But it does remind me of what matters to me. It reminds me of what I set out to honor at the beginning of the year. And most importantly, it reminds me that I am important in my own life.

Last year’s word: Balance

Last year, the word I chose was balance.

I had been working a lot. More than I realized at first. Often at the expense of time with family and friends. Balance wasn’t about doing less; it was about paying attention. It asked me to notice where my energy was going and whether that matched what mattered most to me.

Balance asked me to say no to some things I used to attend simply because I felt I should. Events that didn’t truly interest me. Invitations that came from expectation rather than desire. I learned that I could say no, or suggest another day, without needing to justify myself.

It also gave me permission to say yes in new ways.

I realized how much I love learning. During the COVID years, that mostly happened at home.

Last year, balance invited me back out into the world. Public lectures. Book signings. Astronomy talks. Science events. Festivals I had never been to before. Big screen music events. I gave myself permission to indulge my curious, slightly nerdy side. Sometimes I went with friends. Sometimes I went by myself. Going by myself was an eye-opening experience.

What I learned is this, I didn’t achieve balance. I practiced returning to it.

Each choice became a small check-in. Not perfect. Not rigid. Just honest. And over time, that practice began to feel steadier.

Balance as an ongoing conversation

Balance didn’t end with one word on the wall. It became an ongoing conversation with me.

I subscribe to a number of newsletters that keep me informed about what’s happening in my region; public lectures, cultural events, author talks, and things that spark my curiosity. They don’t take long to read, but they offer a lot of choice.

As I look at an event, I pause and ask myself a few simple questions. Does this fit into my calendar? What’s happening in my life before and after it? Am I genuinely interested in this topic? Can I afford to go? Do I want to go alone or with a friend?

Then I get to decide.

Almost every time, my first thought is still, I’ll just stay home. Staying home is familiar. It’s easy. It doesn’t ask anything of me.

And then I remember why I chose balance in the first place. I remember that I wanted more connection, more learning, more life. I remind myself that possibility rarely knocks loudly.

Sometimes it whispers.

Showing up like this isn’t always pretty or polished. Sometimes, choosing possibility simply means being willing to be seen, awkward moments and all.

When possibility includes embarrassment

One evening, I decided to attend a movie screening hosted by the Perimeter Institute at a local theatre. It was one of those events I might have talked myself out of in the past, but balance nudged me to go.

The screening itself was wonderful. The discussion afterward, however, went on and on. I had planned to stop by my son’s home later that evening, and eventually I decided to leave before the event was officially over.

As I exited the auditorium, I missed the last step.

I fell flat on my face.

I wasn’t hurt, thankfully. Just completely embarrassed. There I was, making my quiet exit, and suddenly I was the moment everyone noticed.

Nice exit, Rose!

I share this not because it was graceful or inspiring, but because it was real. I still showed up. I still chose possibility. And even when it didn’t look the way I imagined, it counted.

Where I am now

Right now, I’m in the reflection phase of choosing my word for the coming year.

I give myself time to look back before I look ahead. I review my calendar, not to judge how productive I was, but to notice what filled my days and how those days felt. I also spend time with my joy moments journal, letting myself remember the small, ordinary things that brought light into my life.

I don’t rush this part. I don’t force a word to appear. I trust that it will come.

Reflection has become a way of honoring my life as it is, not just as I imagine it could be. It helps me recognize what supported me, what stretched me, and what I might want to carry forward.

When the word arrives, it won’t be because I chased it down. It will be because I was listening.

An invitation, if it fits

This way of approaching the year may not be for everyone. Some people thrive on lists and clear goals. But for those who feel weighed down by expectation or quietly resistant to doing what everyone else seems to be doing, there is another option.

Choosing one word is not about narrowing your life. It’s about creating a touchstone. Something you can return to when decisions feel noisy or when it’s easy to forget yourself in the middle of everything else.

And if choosing a word for a whole year feels like too much, it doesn’t have to be that big. A word for the next month. Or even the next week. A small window of time where attention replaces pressure.

What matters is not the word itself, but the relationship that slowly forms around it. A way of listening inward instead of reaching outward for direction.

A quieter way forward

There is something comforting about not having to reinvent yourself at the start of a new year. About recognizing that you don’t need a dramatic reset to grow, only a willingness to stay connected to yourself as life unfolds.

For me, choosing one word has become a way of walking alongside my own life rather than trying to outrun it.

It doesn’t demand perfection. It doesn’t erase who I’ve been. It simply offers a steady reminder of what I want to honor as I grow.

However this season finds you, it’s enough to begin where you are. With curiosity. With kindness. With a little openness to what might be possible.

Happy New Year Sparkler

Emotions Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Joy, Joy, Unending Joy

Joy, Joy, Joy, unending Joy.

In this season, we hear a lot about joy.  It is in the Christmas songs on playlists, Joy to the World rings out as we negotiate a parking space at the mall.  We see the word lit up in lights among the decorations.  We are reminded to be joyful by advertisements for alcohol, diamond jewellery, or perfumes.  But what is Joy?   

Joy supersedes happiness. Happiness is an emotion that can come or go depending on the circumstances surrounding us.  It is a good, positive emotion that makes us, well, happy.  Joy is deeper, more profound.  Joy is a state of being. Joy holds a higher resonance.  It embraces a deep delight, gladness, a sense of well-being, a sense of spiritual wellness. Joy is like a deep well that sustains us even in times of trial or drought.  Happiness may happen to us.  Joy is within us.   Jesus tells us to “Ask, and you will receive so that your joy will be complete” JN16.24

Joy can be described as bubbling up, like an eternal spring that exists within our hearts.

 I did a quick survey before I wrote this article, and asked people. “What brings you joy?”

These are the answers that I received from different people.  Interestingly, many people gave the same answers.

Playing with my grand children, watching children play, listening to children speak or sing.

Listening to music, singing, dancing.  Music lifts our mood. Singing a song out loud, really loud. Playing the piano. Playing my drums. Dancing in the kitchen while I make dinner.

Playing with or watching my dog.  Petting our cat.

Holding my new baby.

Playing a game with others.  Spending time with my friends.  Having a deep heart-felt conversation. Getting something accomplished, especially if I had been putting it off.

Sewing. Throwing clay to make pots or mugs. Swimming in the sea.  Painting.

Baking a pie, cake, or cookies, and chocolates and gifting them to my friends and family.

The smell of orange, or cinnamon…invokes a memory of baking with my Mom.

Walking in the snow. Walking on the beach.  Watching and listening to the birds outside.

Just being with my loved ones.  Smiling at people.  Saying Thank you.  Listening to my spouse.  Surprising my child with a gift or an outing.

Read the list again and see what you notice.  Most of the joy moments came from being with others, doing for others, or being in nature or feeling close to God.   Not one person I interviewed said their joy came from a diamond necklace or a new car or a bottle of Scotch.  

The other element I noticed was that so many found joy in giving to others.  One person volunteers every year with a charity that provides meals and gifts for people. She said it was the highlight of her Christmas season.  Joy comes from a sense of purpose, rooted in relationship with self, God and others.  That is what Jesus was talking about. 

There used to be a slogan for the Red Cross, saying ‘Blood, it’s in you to Give”.   Isn’t it true that joy is also in us to give.  In fact the more we give of it, the more we get back.   Remembering that joy is deeper than a passing emotion, it is an essential part of you.  It exists within you.  It is not something to be strived for, it is already there. As you become attuned to resonance of joy, you will see and feel and choose it.

Take some time today or over the next few weeks and uncover, experience and elevate your joy. 

Sometimes, I dare say, even often, our joy gets covered over. We may perceive that we are too busy, too stressed, to oppressed, to obsessed, to distracted, too confused, too abused, too sad or lonely to uncover and hold our joy.  Those are lies. The truth is your joy never leaves you. It waits patiently for you to remember and come back to it.  Your spirit holds it there like a candle lighting your way in the darkness.  Joy, Joy, unceasing Joy.

Come in from the cold. Come to the light that waits for you. Pause, breathe.

Remember how loved you are.  You are love. Created in the image of love. The eternal love that is never extinguished.  Your spirit knows. Rest. Ask and receive.    

May joy be with you, within you, and through you.  May you sing out loud and let joy fill you with that glorious, magnificent resonance.  May the soft stillness of snow falling, or of a sunrise bring a smile to your face and a glow to your being.  May peace, joy and love live within you. May your joy increase, and your wonder never cease. May God blessings surround and sustain you.

Healing Practices Navigating Life Changes
Featured

If Guilt and Shame Have Been Constant Companions, There Is a Softer Way Forward

If you joined us for this week’s Wisdom Wednesday inside the Wounded Women Rising Facebook group, you already know we went deep into guilt and shame. The kind of deep that makes you pause halfway through the video, stare at the wall, and whisper, “Oh… wow. That’s me.”

And if you’re reading this now, chances are something clicked for you.
A memory.
A pattern.
A familiar knot in your stomach.
A sentence you’ve said a hundred times like, “I know it wasn’t my fault…but I still feel responsible.”

Here’s what I want you to hear right out of the gate:

Awareness is not where the journey ends.
It’s where your power finally begins.

So now that you’ve identified the guilt and shame loop in your life, now that you’ve seen how it operates, where it hides, and how it shows up the next question becomes:

Now what?
How do you actually break free from a pattern you’ve lived with for years… sometimes decades?

Let’s walk through this together, like two friends sitting with warm mugs and honest hearts.

Step 1: Name the Pattern Every Time It Shows Up

This sounds almost too simple but trust me naming the pattern is the beginning of mastery.

The next time you feel guilt wash over you because you said no…
or you didn’t respond fast enough…
or someone else felt disappointed…

pause and ask yourself:

“Is this guilt…or is this conditioning?”

That question alone disrupts the automatic spiral.

You’re teaching your brain:


“We don’t respond on autopilot anymore.”

Here’s what naming it might sound like:

“Ah, this is that old guilt story again.”

“I feel responsible for their emotions, but that’s not mine to carry.”

“This shame isn’t truth, it’s programming.”

You’re not trying to fix anything yet.
You’re simply turning the light on in the room.

Shame thrives in silence.
Guilt thrives in old habits.
Neither survives well in the light of awareness.

Step 2: Interrupt the Loop Before It Takes the Wheel

Once you recognize the pattern, the second step is to interrupt it. Think of this like putting a wedge in a door you’ve decided not to walk through anymore.

Here are a few quick, powerful ways to break the loop in real time:

1. Slow the moment down

Take one slow breath.
Put your hand on your heart.
Give yourself five seconds of choice instead of an immediate reaction.

2. Ask a disrupting question

Try any of these:

“What would I choose here if I wasn’t afraid of being judged?”

“What would I do if guilt wasn’t in the room?”

“What actually belongs to me…and what doesn’t?”

Patterns crack open when you interrupt them before they run the show.

3. Physically shift your body

This might sound strange but trust me – it works.

Stand up.
Move your shoulders.
Change rooms.
Walk for a moment.

Do a little dance??

Interrupting the physical state interrupts the emotional pattern.

Step 3: Choose a New Response. Even if It Feels Uncomfortable

This is the part that makes women say:

“But what if someone gets upset?”
“But what if they think I’m selfish?”
“But what if I’m wrong?”

Deep breath, love.

Growth is uncomfortable.
Choosing differently is uncomfortable.
Letting go of guilt is definitely uncomfortable.

But discomfort is not danger.
It’s simply unfamiliar.

Here’s a truth you may not have been told:

Choosing yourself will feel wrong before it feels right.

Not because it is wrong but because guilt taught you to believe that your needs were optional.

Your “new responses” might feel awkward at first, like:

Saying “No, I can’t do that today.”

Not explaining yourself.

Not apologizing for resting.

Not rushing to fix someone else’s emotional storm.

Ending a conversation that is draining you.

These aren’t selfish choices.
These are self-respecting choices.

Your nervous system will catch up.
Your sense of self will strengthen.
Your confidence will rise.

But it starts with choosing differently in small, consistent moments.

Step 4: Reclaim Your Inner Voice (The One That Shame Silenced)

Let’s be honest. Guilt and shame have a way of drowning out our inner voice.

They whisper things like:

“You should’ve known better.”
“You’re the problem.”
“You need to make up for it.”
“You have to prove you’re good.”

But here’s the question I want you to ask yourself tonight:

“What is the truth I have been too afraid to say out loud?”

Sometimes the truth sounds like:

“I did the best I could.”
“I didn’t deserve what happened.”
“I’m allowed to make choices that protect my peace.”
“I don’t have to carry that anymore.”

Your voice is still in there.
You’re not finding it. You’re remembering it.

And every time you speak from that place, you weaken the shame story.

Step 5: Build New Emotional Pathways (This Is Where Freedom Begins)

Breaking a pattern is not just about stopping something.

It’s about creating something new:

  • new boundaries
  • new thoughts
  • new beliefs
  • new ways of responding
  • new self-trust
  • new emotional safety

Here’s a beautiful truth:

Your brain literally rewires through repetition.

Every time you choose not to apologize for something you didn’t do…
Every time you don’t explain yourself in circles…
Every time you choose rest instead of running…
Every time you let someone be disappointed without rescuing them…

You are building a new identity:

A woman who trusts herself.
A woman who listens to her inner knowing.
A woman who chooses her peace.
A woman who doesn’t shrink to make others comfortable.
A woman who steps out of shame and into her strength.

This is how confidence grows.
One choice at a time.

Step 6: Surround Yourself With People Who Reflect Your Strength, Not Your Guilt

You know this as well as I do:

Healing in isolation is slow.
Healing in community is powerful.

When you surround yourself with other women who are also breaking cycles, choosing themselves, and speaking truth, something shifts inside you:

You realize you’re not dramatic.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not wrong.
You’re not selfish.

You’re just done shrinking.

If you’re not already in our Wounded Women Rising Facebook group, this is your invitation to step into a circle of women who get it. Women who will encourage you while you rewrite your story.

No one heals guilt and shame alone.
We heal in places where our voices are welcomed, not questioned.

Step 7: Let This Week Be a Starting Point. Not the Whole Story

You’ve spent this week learning what guilt and shame look like.
You’ve seen how they show up in your body and emotions.
You’ve seen how they distort your sense of responsibility.
And you’ve seen how they can keep you stuck.

But here’s the truth that matters most:

Guilt and shame are not your identity.
They are leftover survival strategies and you are no longer surviving.
You are rebuilding.

And rebuilding takes courage.


Courage to see the pattern.
Courage to step out of it.
Courage to choose yourself even when it’s unfamiliar.
Courage to walk into a new chapter with shaky legs and a steady heart.

You’re doing that.
Right now.
By reading this.
By questioning old stories.
By daring to imagine something different.

I’m proud of you.
More than you know.

A final thought, from my heart to yours

Breaking free from guilt and shame won’t happen in one weekend.
It won’t happen because you watched one video or read one blog post.
It happens slowly, gently, consistently.

You break free every time you choose yourself.

And hear this clearly:

You are worthy of peace.
You are worthy of rest.
You are worthy of boundaries.
You are worthy of joy.
You are worthy of your own voice.
And you are worthy of a life that feels like it belongs to you.

This week might have stirred a lot for you.
Let this blog post be the permission slip you’ve needed.

You don’t have to live inside guilt and shame anymore.
You get to walk out of that pattern one brave choice at a time.

I’m right here with you.

Blog Posts Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Boundaries – Protecting your Peace, Reclaiming your Power

A good fence makes great neighbours.

A boundary is an invisible fence that holds our values, security, insights, ideas, time.  The walls and doors of your house, keep your body and possessions safe. It prevents your stuff from spilling all over your yard. In the same way, your boundaries protect your mental health, your physical health and your emotional wellbeing. 

Why do you need boundaries? 

You need boundaries so you have control over what happens in your space.  Just like property lines. I can plant flowers or vegetables on my property but I can’t plant them in my neighbour’s yard, especially when they want a yard of manicured green grass. Your boundaries give you control over your space.  When someone trespasses on your space without your permission, it causes you pain.  And vice versa.  You control your space and take responsibility for that space. Your internal space is your thoughts, your talents, your emotions, your habits, your intuition, your spirit, your desires, your goals and dreams.  Each of these have a light side and a dark side to them.  It is important to take responsibility for all it, the light, and the dark.  Only you can control you.  Remember though, you can ask for help when you need it. You can offer help to another person.  They get to choose if they can help or if they want your help.  We cannot thrive in isolation. Often after a traumatic event, people withdraw and go inward, closing off their hearts, sitting in the dark, not wanting to trust or be with others.  I understand this response.  This can be a starting point. 

We are created for community.  You do, however get to choose the community.  A community that aligns with your values, and that values you. A boundary is not a wall that keeps others out. It is more like a fence, or a cell membrane, or a riverbank. It is permeable with you as the gate keeper. You get to decide who or what comes in, and who or what is not allowed in.  What would you like to have in your space?  What you value is worth protecting.  Your peace of mind is priceless. Your talents and gifts unique to you are needed in the world.  Give yourself permission to say yes to what aligns with you, and no to what does not. It is not selfish. It is self-respect.  When we start to respect ourselves, others will too.  If someone consistently disrespects, oversteps and ignores your boundaries, it is time to limit or end your relationship with this person. 

Here is a visual for you.  The hula hoop analogy. Imagine you have a hula hoop around you. You are holding it in place with your hands.  You can easily move within the hula hoop.  You can move your legs and travel with the hula hoop.  If others have their hula hoops in place, everyone can participate in the dance, with ease of space. Not banging into each other. Each having the freedom to function within their hoop.  Imagine now that your hula hoop is held by another person. It impedes your ability to move freely. If someone puts their hula hoop over you, without your permission or consent, it stops you from moving freely.  It is constricting and uncomfortable, especially if it continues for an extended period.  The hula hoops represent our boundaries.  We can tolerate letting someone influence us if it is for the common good, and usually for a set period, knowing there is a common goal to achieve.  If the time exceeds our expectations or if the goal is constantly changing, having our boundaries trampled on, leads to resentment. Boundaries are essential for well-being.

Being nice can often negate our boundaries.  I want people to like me therefore I may do things that may not be good for me in order to please them. I over give or let someone take advantage of my niceness.  Perhaps you over give your time or your talent, or don’t charge the going rate for your work.  Depleting yourself will eventually affect your physical and mental wellbeing and your wallet too.

Signs of Poor Boundaries.

There are specific symptoms that go along with struggling from poor boundaries.  Here is a list of some symptoms and the corresponding boundary issue.

Here are 5 health symptoms tied to weak or violated boundaries:

SymptomWhat It Means
Chronic Stress & AnxietyYour nervous system is overloaded from people-pleasing or overcommitting
Burnout & ExhaustionYou’re carrying emotional weight that isn’t yours
Resentment & IrritabilityYou say “yes” when you want to say “no”
Tension, Headaches, InsomniaThe body stores unspoken emotions
Low Self-Worth or Self-DoubtYou feel guilty for having needs

Many women think something is wrong with them, but truly, they are simply overextended, overwhelmed, and emotionally unprotected.

Boundaries extend to many parts of our lives.

Here’s 5 areas that you might consider reviewing.

Physical BoundariesYou choose how, when, and with whom you share physical space or touch.
Emotional Boundaries“I’m not available for conversations that are disrespectful.”
Time Boundaries“I can help, but I only have 30 minutes.”
Energetic BoundariesLimiting time with people who drain or criticize you.  Have you ever felt deep exhaustion after being with certain people? This needs a boundary.  Perhaps a quick phone call and not an in-person visit is warranted. Set a timer and end the call with a polite “I will let you go now, Have a great day.”
Digital Boundaries You don’t have to answer every message immediately. Posts that upset you, delete. Set a time limit to how long you will be on social media.  Don’t scroll before bedtime, it interferes with our ability to fall and stay asleep.

Here are some phrases you can use to help you establish and maintain your boundaries. You can be polite, but firm.

 Healthy boundaries sound like:

  • “No, I’m not able to do that today.”
  • “I need time to think before I commit.”
  • “I will not be spoken to that way.”
  • “That doesn’t feel right for me.”

Saying no is not selfish. It is a form of self-respect.
Remember: people who benefit from your lack of boundaries will be the ones who resist them most. There are those people who will not honour your boundaries. For your own health, you must separate yourself from them.

Here is an Example of a Healthy Boundary: “I won’t be available to talk after 9 PM. That’s my time to rest and recharge.”

This boundary is healthy because:

  • It clearly communicates a limit.
  • It takes responsibility for personal needs.
  • It is respectful, firm, and guilt-free.
  • It protects emotional and physical well-being.

   Each person needs their privacy, their own space to collect their thoughts, and to have a clean, quiet space.

Your boundaries and your values are woven together.  If you have a value of generosity, you may delight in assisting others, financially, with your time, or your talent.  Remember that even in giving, you need to receive. You also need discernment, so your generosity is not taken for granted. You do not want to feel pressured that you must give, even when you cannot.  This is your boundary. 

In nature, even the individual cells of our body have a boundary. It is the cell membrane on every cell in our body.   It protects our energy and our ability to renew it.  Our cell membrane lets nutrients in and removes waste. It also communicates with the other cells. If you believe you cannot set boundaries, remember that you have billions of them within you.   Draw strength from that creative source within you.   If you want some help with building your boundary fence, please reach out to Rose and I.  We have the tools to help you design and build your own uniquely landscaped soul space, with fences, and gates.

May your needs be honoured. May your peace be protected. And may you choose what is right and respectful for you.   

This poem came to me as I was walking along the river, contemplating this post.

The River.

The river hugs its riverbanks,

it holds them to the left and right.

The banks keep river in her flow

as she confidently knows where to go.

While rocks cause ripples, and speeds increase,

her riverbanks help keep the peace.

River knows her water stays intact,

she travels along without looking back.

Bubbling joyfully as she goes along

the birds sing with her, when her current is strong.

This river can meander at will, cause her riverbanks won’t overspill.

They give her the strength to know who she is, so she can give life to

all she encounters.

River hugs her riverbanks,

and thrives inside them with great Thanks.

Blog Posts Navigating Life Changes
Featured

When Healing Comes First: How Emotional Recovery Creates Real Financial Stability

I’m Brittany Blake, a previous psychotherapist turned financial broker. I want to start with something that might surprise you, control doesn’t come from having perfect budgets. It comes from healing what’s happening inside of you.

For years, we’ve been told the opposite: that if we just learn how to manage our money, track every dollar, and build the “right” plan, then we’ll finally feel safe and secure. But after working with people who are rebuilding their lives after trauma, and walking through my own seasons of rebuilding, I’ve come to see it differently.

True stability doesn’t start with spreadsheets and budgeting. It starts with healing.

When life has fallen apart

I’ll never forget a woman I met early in my career, let’s call her Maya.

She came to me with years of financial abuse behind her. Every dollar had been controlled. She wasn’t allowed access to accounts, and her partner used money to silence her. She wanted to “get it together,” to fix her finances, to start over. But underneath, she was just trying to feel safe again.

In our first meeting, she said, “I don’t even know what safety feels like anymore.”

And that right there, that’s where rebuilding truly begins.

When you’ve lived through trauma, whether that’s emotional abuse, financial control, loss, or betrayal, your nervous system learns to live on high alert. You can have the best plan in the world, but if your body still feels unsafe, it’s nearly impossible to stick to it.

The story we’ve been sold is fix the money, then you’ll heal

So many financial programs focus on control, on the “doing.”

Budget better. Save more. Hustle harder. Doesn’t sound too empowering does it?

But this doesn’t work for people who are rebuilding after trauma. Because what’s underneath the spending patterns, the debt, the avoidance, or even the over-control isn’t laziness, it’s pain and survival mode.

In fact, research backs this up. Studies in Canada show that women who’ve experienced financial or emotional abuse are far more likely to struggle with decision-making and trust when

it comes to money. Around 50% of women in shelter settings have faced financial abuse their partners restricted access, hid assets, or used money as a tool of control.

And the aftermath doesn’t end when the relationship does. Survivors carry deep emotional scars, fear of conflict, fear of asking for help, fear of making “wrong” decisions. (WomanACT, 2020)

So when you try to “fix the money” before healing the fear and shame behind it, the old patterns tend to return. Because it’s not a math problem, it’s an emotional one.

The shift: when healing is your foundation

I’ve spent years in the financial sector, and before that, I worked as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. And over and over again, I’ve seen this truth: when a person begins to heal emotionally, their entire relationship with money changes.

Here’s what that looks like:

1. You start to feel safe in your own body again

Until your body feels safe, numbers will always feel threatening. That’s just how trauma works. Healing might start with grounding, journaling, therapy, or breathwork, not because those

things fix your finances directly, but because they help you come back to yourself.

2. You begin to understand your money story

We all carry old stories about money, things we were told as children or learned through painful experiences.

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “People like us never get ahead.” “I’m just not good with money.”

Healing helps you notice those beliefs instead of being ruled by them.

3. You rebuild your sense of choice

Trauma can feel like it takes away choice. It tells you that control lives outside of you, like its in someone else’s hands.

Healing reminds you: you have power. You have the right to ask questions and to create your own financial life. The moment you start making small choices that align with your healed self, that’s when stability starts to grow.

Healing + action = real change

Here’s something I always emphasize: healing alone isn’t enough.

At some point, we need to take what’s happening internally and implement it in tangible ways, otherwise, we stay stuck in awareness without progress.

That’s where support comes in.

Having someone beside you who understands trauma and money, someone who doesn’t shame you for where you are, can make all the difference.

Because let’s be honest: it’s one thing to talk about “empowerment,” and it’s another to know what to actually do next. Whether it’s rebuilding credit, understanding your insurance, or learning where to be investing, you deserve support that’s compassionate, informed, and practical.

In my work as a financial professional, I’ve seen people transform not because they had the “perfect” plan, but because they had someone walking beside them, step by step. Together, we created small wins that built confidence, and that confidence became the foundation for bigger financial choices.

If you’re reading this and feeling unsure where to start, here are a few small ways to begin:

● Start with safety: Before you open your bank app or budget, take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the ground. Remind yourself that you are safe at this moment.

● Write your money story: What are your earliest memories of money? What emotions come up when you think about it? There’s power in simply noticing without judgment.

● Try micro-steps:

○ Save $5 a week in a “safety fund.”

○ Track one spending category for two weeks.

○ Say “no” to one financial obligation that doesn’t align with your values.

● Find accountability: Whether it’s a trusted friend, a coach, or a financial advisor, find someone who can hold you accountable with kindness — not criticism.

Remember, this isn’t about being perfect. It’s about learning to trust yourself again.

You are not behind. You are rebuilding.

If you’re in this season, please know: there’s nothing wrong with you. Financial instability after trauma is not a reflection of your worth — it’s a natural response to what you’ve lived through.

In fact, studies show that 71% of Canadian women report that financial stress is impacting their mental health. (Benefits Canada, 2024) You are not alone in this.

Healing your relationship with money isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about remembering who you are, underneath the fear and scarcity.

My invitation to you is to Join The Wealthy Canadian Series

If this message resonates with you, if you’re ready to start healing emotionally and taking grounded steps toward financial stability. I want to personally invite you into The Wealthy Canadian Series, did I mention this is FREE

This isn’t a “budget bootcamp.” It’s a safe, supportive space created for Canadians to learn the basic financial strategies we should have been taught in school. You’ll gain tools, support, and strategies, but more importantly, you’ll rediscover your sense of choice.

You don’t have to do this alone. You deserve guidance that meets you where you are, with compassion, education, and hope.

If your heart is whispering “it’s time,” trust that. That’s your cue to take one small, brave step forward.

👉Join The Wealth Canadian Series: https://www.teamdld.com/TheWealthyCanadianChallenge

Healing is messy, nonlinear, and holy work. So is rebuilding your financial life. But I promise, every small act of healing you do creates ripples of stability that touch every area of your life.

You are not behind. You are becoming.

And when healing leads, money follows.

If you’d like to book a 1:1 with me please do so here: https://calendar.app.google/frBTLS21i2MG1qpo6

Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Nourish Yourself

Nourish Yourself

How many times have we heard that to be healthy, all one needs is a good diet and exercise?   Diet is one of the most frequent search requests on Google. 

In a land of great abundance, and variety of food stuffs, how can it be that so many Canadians and Americans are struggling with metabolic syndromes?  Weight gain, diabetes, menopause belly, middle age spread, are key words used in media to sell the latest fad, or discovery or drug.  Recently I had a panel of bloodwork done as part of an annual screening.  As I looked around the clinic on this early morning , there were so many different people each searching for a healthy life.  I started to wonder why are the numbers so high?  Below are some interesting studies regarding North America and Canadian diets.

  • A study from 2019 by Chef’s Pencil found that Canada was the ninth most diet-obsessed country in the world, with keto being the most popular diet. 
  • Companies like Mintel conduct surveys to understand consumer attitudes and beliefs about diet and nutrition in Canada. Stats Canada published a yearly report this past March stating the cost of food has been a challenge for many.  Anyone who has been in a grocery store this year can attest to that.
  • 84% of Canadians believe that what they eat impacts their physical well-being. 
  • One in four Canadians have dietary restrictions or preferences, especially those under 34 who lean towards dairy-free, vegetarian, or vegan options. 

The food production industry has become more industrialized, globalized and consolidated. Massive corporations driven by increasing profits and technological advancements have created a decline in crop diversity, and soil regeneration, and have increased the amount of chemicals found in food.  Glyphosate use and pesticides-ready seed crops are known to cause damage to the human biome and interfere with our digestive system and the energy of the cells.  Ultra-processed foods contain no nutritional value.  [See Dr. Mark Hyman’s website for suggestions on eating to improve longevity and functional wellness.]  Dr James D, Adamo writes in his book “Eat Right for your Blood Type” of the correlation between our blood type and the exercise method and diet best suited for each person.  I have found this information to be valuable and effective.

From an early age we are told to eat our vegetables. Given the number of phytonutrients, vitamins and the source of fibre vegetables provide, this is good advice. There are so many to choose from, it is not hard to find a vegetable to suit every palate.  I look for organic fruits and vegetables. Local markets or small farmstands are good places to find quality foods, while supporting your neighbourhood farmers.  Greenhart Farms offers a farm-share program, delivering fresh picked, organic vegetables and fruits weekly, during the spring to fall seasons.   Look in your area for a similar program, as it supports farm families, while feeding your family quality foods.  

If we view food as the way to nourish our cells, and well-being, we will choose the foods providing for optimal performance.  Do an assessment of your cupboards and fridge. What foods support your nutrition goals and what items bring no value and cause your body to work hard to detoxify the chemical ingredients in them? Choose the foods that serve you best.

What if the secret to being energetic and vibrant isn’t what we put in our mouth, but what comes out of it?

Most people believe that food is the most important element for our energy level. It isn’t. The most essential need for human beings’ energy needs is breath.

Breath is the first essential need for human beings.  Water is the second essential need for human beings.  Only 3 percent of your energy needs come from food.

A person can live about 70 days without food, according to a McGill University Office for Science and Society article published on Jan 10th, 2025. So why are we so food obsessed? This article also states that humans cannot live longer than 5 days without water. Going without water, impairs the detoxification process and harms the kidneys. We know dehydration impacts brain function, even at low levels of dehydration. But few people can go longer than 3 minutes without air.  Breathing is essential to every cell.  The breath of life nourishes us. Most of us don’t give breathing a second thought until we have a stuffed-up nose.  It comes automatically. Focusing on your breathing is a proven way of calming the central nervous system.  As we increase the function of the lungs, heart and circulatory system, we improve our energy and mental functioning.  It is no wonder that most spiritual practices start with the breath.  Jesus tells us  “ I am the bread of life”  “ I am the breath of life”  How interesting is it that those are the two things that get centered out.

I encourage you to take a few minutes to sit quietly and breathe deeply.   Being quiet in nature is a great way to experience a renewal of energy.  In my garden is a plaque that reads, ““Kiss of the sun for pardon. Song of the birds for mirth. You’re closer to God’s heart in a garden than any place else on earth.”— Dorothy Frances Gurney

We nourish ourselves not only with food. We nourish ourselves with quiet stillness. We nourish ourselves with time spend with friends. Laughter delights our soul.  A good book may nourish your mind. Take a moment today and ask yourself  “What do I need to be nourished?”

 May you be nourished in mind, body and spirit.