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If Guilt and Shame Have Been Constant Companions, There Is a Softer Way Forward

If you joined us for this week’s Wisdom Wednesday inside the Wounded Women Rising Facebook group, you already know we went deep into guilt and shame. The kind of deep that makes you pause halfway through the video, stare at the wall, and whisper, “Oh… wow. That’s me.”

And if you’re reading this now, chances are something clicked for you.
A memory.
A pattern.
A familiar knot in your stomach.
A sentence you’ve said a hundred times like, “I know it wasn’t my fault…but I still feel responsible.”

Here’s what I want you to hear right out of the gate:

Awareness is not where the journey ends.
It’s where your power finally begins.

So now that you’ve identified the guilt and shame loop in your life, now that you’ve seen how it operates, where it hides, and how it shows up the next question becomes:

Now what?
How do you actually break free from a pattern you’ve lived with for years… sometimes decades?

Let’s walk through this together, like two friends sitting with warm mugs and honest hearts.

Step 1: Name the Pattern Every Time It Shows Up

This sounds almost too simple but trust me naming the pattern is the beginning of mastery.

The next time you feel guilt wash over you because you said no…
or you didn’t respond fast enough…
or someone else felt disappointed…

pause and ask yourself:

“Is this guilt…or is this conditioning?”

That question alone disrupts the automatic spiral.

You’re teaching your brain:


“We don’t respond on autopilot anymore.”

Here’s what naming it might sound like:

“Ah, this is that old guilt story again.”

“I feel responsible for their emotions, but that’s not mine to carry.”

“This shame isn’t truth, it’s programming.”

You’re not trying to fix anything yet.
You’re simply turning the light on in the room.

Shame thrives in silence.
Guilt thrives in old habits.
Neither survives well in the light of awareness.

Step 2: Interrupt the Loop Before It Takes the Wheel

Once you recognize the pattern, the second step is to interrupt it. Think of this like putting a wedge in a door you’ve decided not to walk through anymore.

Here are a few quick, powerful ways to break the loop in real time:

1. Slow the moment down

Take one slow breath.
Put your hand on your heart.
Give yourself five seconds of choice instead of an immediate reaction.

2. Ask a disrupting question

Try any of these:

“What would I choose here if I wasn’t afraid of being judged?”

“What would I do if guilt wasn’t in the room?”

“What actually belongs to me…and what doesn’t?”

Patterns crack open when you interrupt them before they run the show.

3. Physically shift your body

This might sound strange but trust me – it works.

Stand up.
Move your shoulders.
Change rooms.
Walk for a moment.

Do a little dance??

Interrupting the physical state interrupts the emotional pattern.

Step 3: Choose a New Response. Even if It Feels Uncomfortable

This is the part that makes women say:

“But what if someone gets upset?”
“But what if they think I’m selfish?”
“But what if I’m wrong?”

Deep breath, love.

Growth is uncomfortable.
Choosing differently is uncomfortable.
Letting go of guilt is definitely uncomfortable.

But discomfort is not danger.
It’s simply unfamiliar.

Here’s a truth you may not have been told:

Choosing yourself will feel wrong before it feels right.

Not because it is wrong but because guilt taught you to believe that your needs were optional.

Your “new responses” might feel awkward at first, like:

Saying “No, I can’t do that today.”

Not explaining yourself.

Not apologizing for resting.

Not rushing to fix someone else’s emotional storm.

Ending a conversation that is draining you.

These aren’t selfish choices.
These are self-respecting choices.

Your nervous system will catch up.
Your sense of self will strengthen.
Your confidence will rise.

But it starts with choosing differently in small, consistent moments.

Step 4: Reclaim Your Inner Voice (The One That Shame Silenced)

Let’s be honest. Guilt and shame have a way of drowning out our inner voice.

They whisper things like:

“You should’ve known better.”
“You’re the problem.”
“You need to make up for it.”
“You have to prove you’re good.”

But here’s the question I want you to ask yourself tonight:

“What is the truth I have been too afraid to say out loud?”

Sometimes the truth sounds like:

“I did the best I could.”
“I didn’t deserve what happened.”
“I’m allowed to make choices that protect my peace.”
“I don’t have to carry that anymore.”

Your voice is still in there.
You’re not finding it. You’re remembering it.

And every time you speak from that place, you weaken the shame story.

Step 5: Build New Emotional Pathways (This Is Where Freedom Begins)

Breaking a pattern is not just about stopping something.

It’s about creating something new:

  • new boundaries
  • new thoughts
  • new beliefs
  • new ways of responding
  • new self-trust
  • new emotional safety

Here’s a beautiful truth:

Your brain literally rewires through repetition.

Every time you choose not to apologize for something you didn’t do…
Every time you don’t explain yourself in circles…
Every time you choose rest instead of running…
Every time you let someone be disappointed without rescuing them…

You are building a new identity:

A woman who trusts herself.
A woman who listens to her inner knowing.
A woman who chooses her peace.
A woman who doesn’t shrink to make others comfortable.
A woman who steps out of shame and into her strength.

This is how confidence grows.
One choice at a time.

Step 6: Surround Yourself With People Who Reflect Your Strength, Not Your Guilt

You know this as well as I do:

Healing in isolation is slow.
Healing in community is powerful.

When you surround yourself with other women who are also breaking cycles, choosing themselves, and speaking truth, something shifts inside you:

You realize you’re not dramatic.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not wrong.
You’re not selfish.

You’re just done shrinking.

If you’re not already in our Wounded Women Rising Facebook group, this is your invitation to step into a circle of women who get it. Women who will encourage you while you rewrite your story.

No one heals guilt and shame alone.
We heal in places where our voices are welcomed, not questioned.

Step 7: Let This Week Be a Starting Point. Not the Whole Story

You’ve spent this week learning what guilt and shame look like.
You’ve seen how they show up in your body and emotions.
You’ve seen how they distort your sense of responsibility.
And you’ve seen how they can keep you stuck.

But here’s the truth that matters most:

Guilt and shame are not your identity.
They are leftover survival strategies and you are no longer surviving.
You are rebuilding.

And rebuilding takes courage.


Courage to see the pattern.
Courage to step out of it.
Courage to choose yourself even when it’s unfamiliar.
Courage to walk into a new chapter with shaky legs and a steady heart.

You’re doing that.
Right now.
By reading this.
By questioning old stories.
By daring to imagine something different.

I’m proud of you.
More than you know.

A final thought, from my heart to yours

Breaking free from guilt and shame won’t happen in one weekend.
It won’t happen because you watched one video or read one blog post.
It happens slowly, gently, consistently.

You break free every time you choose yourself.

And hear this clearly:

You are worthy of peace.
You are worthy of rest.
You are worthy of boundaries.
You are worthy of joy.
You are worthy of your own voice.
And you are worthy of a life that feels like it belongs to you.

This week might have stirred a lot for you.
Let this blog post be the permission slip you’ve needed.

You don’t have to live inside guilt and shame anymore.
You get to walk out of that pattern one brave choice at a time.

I’m right here with you.

Blog Posts Handling Life
Featured

Boundaries – Protecting your Peace, Reclaiming your Power

A good fence makes great neighbours.

A boundary is an invisible fence that holds our values, security, insights, ideas, time.  The walls and doors of your house, keep your body and possessions safe. It prevents your stuff from spilling all over your yard. In the same way, your boundaries protect your mental health, your physical health and your emotional wellbeing. 

Why do you need boundaries? 

You need boundaries so you have control over what happens in your space.  Just like property lines. I can plant flowers or vegetables on my property but I can’t plant them in my neighbour’s yard, especially when they want a yard of manicured green grass. Your boundaries give you control over your space.  When someone trespasses on your space without your permission, it causes you pain.  And vice versa.  You control your space and take responsibility for that space. Your internal space is your thoughts, your talents, your emotions, your habits, your intuition, your spirit, your desires, your goals and dreams.  Each of these have a light side and a dark side to them.  It is important to take responsibility for all it, the light, and the dark.  Only you can control you.  Remember though, you can ask for help when you need it. You can offer help to another person.  They get to choose if they can help or if they want your help.  We cannot thrive in isolation. Often after a traumatic event, people withdraw and go inward, closing off their hearts, sitting in the dark, not wanting to trust or be with others.  I understand this response.  This can be a starting point. 

We are created for community.  You do, however get to choose the community.  A community that aligns with your values, and that values you. A boundary is not a wall that keeps others out. It is more like a fence, or a cell membrane, or a riverbank. It is permeable with you as the gate keeper. You get to decide who or what comes in, and who or what is not allowed in.  What would you like to have in your space?  What you value is worth protecting.  Your peace of mind is priceless. Your talents and gifts unique to you are needed in the world.  Give yourself permission to say yes to what aligns with you, and no to what does not. It is not selfish. It is self-respect.  When we start to respect ourselves, others will too.  If someone consistently disrespects, oversteps and ignores your boundaries, it is time to limit or end your relationship with this person. 

Here is a visual for you.  The hula hoop analogy. Imagine you have a hula hoop around you. You are holding it in place with your hands.  You can easily move within the hula hoop.  You can move your legs and travel with the hula hoop.  If others have their hula hoops in place, everyone can participate in the dance, with ease of space. Not banging into each other. Each having the freedom to function within their hoop.  Imagine now that your hula hoop is held by another person. It impedes your ability to move freely. If someone puts their hula hoop over you, without your permission or consent, it stops you from moving freely.  It is constricting and uncomfortable, especially if it continues for an extended period.  The hula hoops represent our boundaries.  We can tolerate letting someone influence us if it is for the common good, and usually for a set period, knowing there is a common goal to achieve.  If the time exceeds our expectations or if the goal is constantly changing, having our boundaries trampled on, leads to resentment. Boundaries are essential for well-being.

Being nice can often negate our boundaries.  I want people to like me therefore I may do things that may not be good for me in order to please them. I over give or let someone take advantage of my niceness.  Perhaps you over give your time or your talent, or don’t charge the going rate for your work.  Depleting yourself will eventually affect your physical and mental wellbeing and your wallet too.

Signs of Poor Boundaries.

There are specific symptoms that go along with struggling from poor boundaries.  Here is a list of some symptoms and the corresponding boundary issue.

Here are 5 health symptoms tied to weak or violated boundaries:

SymptomWhat It Means
Chronic Stress & AnxietyYour nervous system is overloaded from people-pleasing or overcommitting
Burnout & ExhaustionYou’re carrying emotional weight that isn’t yours
Resentment & IrritabilityYou say “yes” when you want to say “no”
Tension, Headaches, InsomniaThe body stores unspoken emotions
Low Self-Worth or Self-DoubtYou feel guilty for having needs

Many women think something is wrong with them, but truly, they are simply overextended, overwhelmed, and emotionally unprotected.

Boundaries extend to many parts of our lives.

Here’s 5 areas that you might consider reviewing.

Physical BoundariesYou choose how, when, and with whom you share physical space or touch.
Emotional Boundaries“I’m not available for conversations that are disrespectful.”
Time Boundaries“I can help, but I only have 30 minutes.”
Energetic BoundariesLimiting time with people who drain or criticize you.  Have you ever felt deep exhaustion after being with certain people? This needs a boundary.  Perhaps a quick phone call and not an in-person visit is warranted. Set a timer and end the call with a polite “I will let you go now, Have a great day.”
Digital Boundaries You don’t have to answer every message immediately. Posts that upset you, delete. Set a time limit to how long you will be on social media.  Don’t scroll before bedtime, it interferes with our ability to fall and stay asleep.

Here are some phrases you can use to help you establish and maintain your boundaries. You can be polite, but firm.

 Healthy boundaries sound like:

  • “No, I’m not able to do that today.”
  • “I need time to think before I commit.”
  • “I will not be spoken to that way.”
  • “That doesn’t feel right for me.”

Saying no is not selfish. It is a form of self-respect.
Remember: people who benefit from your lack of boundaries will be the ones who resist them most. There are those people who will not honour your boundaries. For your own health, you must separate yourself from them.

Here is an Example of a Healthy Boundary: “I won’t be available to talk after 9 PM. That’s my time to rest and recharge.”

This boundary is healthy because:

  • It clearly communicates a limit.
  • It takes responsibility for personal needs.
  • It is respectful, firm, and guilt-free.
  • It protects emotional and physical well-being.

   Each person needs their privacy, their own space to collect their thoughts, and to have a clean, quiet space.

Your boundaries and your values are woven together.  If you have a value of generosity, you may delight in assisting others, financially, with your time, or your talent.  Remember that even in giving, you need to receive. You also need discernment, so your generosity is not taken for granted. You do not want to feel pressured that you must give, even when you cannot.  This is your boundary. 

In nature, even the individual cells of our body have a boundary. It is the cell membrane on every cell in our body.   It protects our energy and our ability to renew it.  Our cell membrane lets nutrients in and removes waste. It also communicates with the other cells. If you believe you cannot set boundaries, remember that you have billions of them within you.   Draw strength from that creative source within you.   If you want some help with building your boundary fence, please reach out to Rose and I.  We have the tools to help you design and build your own uniquely landscaped soul space, with fences, and gates.

May your needs be honoured. May your peace be protected. And may you choose what is right and respectful for you.   

This poem came to me as I was walking along the river, contemplating this post.

The River.

The river hugs its riverbanks,

it holds them to the left and right.

The banks keep river in her flow

as she confidently knows where to go.

While rocks cause ripples, and speeds increase,

her riverbanks help keep the peace.

River knows her water stays intact,

she travels along without looking back.

Bubbling joyfully as she goes along

the birds sing with her, when her current is strong.

This river can meander at will, cause her riverbanks won’t overspill.

They give her the strength to know who she is, so she can give life to

all she encounters.

River hugs her riverbanks,

and thrives inside them with great Thanks.

Blog Posts Handling Life
Featured

When Healing Comes First: How Emotional Recovery Creates Real Financial Stability

I’m Brittany Blake, a previous psychotherapist turned financial broker. I want to start with something that might surprise you, control doesn’t come from having perfect budgets. It comes from healing what’s happening inside of you.

For years, we’ve been told the opposite: that if we just learn how to manage our money, track every dollar, and build the “right” plan, then we’ll finally feel safe and secure. But after working with people who are rebuilding their lives after trauma, and walking through my own seasons of rebuilding, I’ve come to see it differently.

True stability doesn’t start with spreadsheets and budgeting. It starts with healing.

When life has fallen apart

I’ll never forget a woman I met early in my career, let’s call her Maya.

She came to me with years of financial abuse behind her. Every dollar had been controlled. She wasn’t allowed access to accounts, and her partner used money to silence her. She wanted to “get it together,” to fix her finances, to start over. But underneath, she was just trying to feel safe again.

In our first meeting, she said, “I don’t even know what safety feels like anymore.”

And that right there, that’s where rebuilding truly begins.

When you’ve lived through trauma, whether that’s emotional abuse, financial control, loss, or betrayal, your nervous system learns to live on high alert. You can have the best plan in the world, but if your body still feels unsafe, it’s nearly impossible to stick to it.

The story we’ve been sold is fix the money, then you’ll heal

So many financial programs focus on control, on the “doing.”

Budget better. Save more. Hustle harder. Doesn’t sound too empowering does it?

But this doesn’t work for people who are rebuilding after trauma. Because what’s underneath the spending patterns, the debt, the avoidance, or even the over-control isn’t laziness, it’s pain and survival mode.

In fact, research backs this up. Studies in Canada show that women who’ve experienced financial or emotional abuse are far more likely to struggle with decision-making and trust when

it comes to money. Around 50% of women in shelter settings have faced financial abuse their partners restricted access, hid assets, or used money as a tool of control.

And the aftermath doesn’t end when the relationship does. Survivors carry deep emotional scars, fear of conflict, fear of asking for help, fear of making “wrong” decisions. (WomanACT, 2020)

So when you try to “fix the money” before healing the fear and shame behind it, the old patterns tend to return. Because it’s not a math problem, it’s an emotional one.

The shift: when healing is your foundation

I’ve spent years in the financial sector, and before that, I worked as a trauma-informed psychotherapist. And over and over again, I’ve seen this truth: when a person begins to heal emotionally, their entire relationship with money changes.

Here’s what that looks like:

1. You start to feel safe in your own body again

Until your body feels safe, numbers will always feel threatening. That’s just how trauma works. Healing might start with grounding, journaling, therapy, or breathwork, not because those

things fix your finances directly, but because they help you come back to yourself.

2. You begin to understand your money story

We all carry old stories about money, things we were told as children or learned through painful experiences.

“Money doesn’t grow on trees.” “People like us never get ahead.” “I’m just not good with money.”

Healing helps you notice those beliefs instead of being ruled by them.

3. You rebuild your sense of choice

Trauma can feel like it takes away choice. It tells you that control lives outside of you, like its in someone else’s hands.

Healing reminds you: you have power. You have the right to ask questions and to create your own financial life. The moment you start making small choices that align with your healed self, that’s when stability starts to grow.

Healing + action = real change

Here’s something I always emphasize: healing alone isn’t enough.

At some point, we need to take what’s happening internally and implement it in tangible ways, otherwise, we stay stuck in awareness without progress.

That’s where support comes in.

Having someone beside you who understands trauma and money, someone who doesn’t shame you for where you are, can make all the difference.

Because let’s be honest: it’s one thing to talk about “empowerment,” and it’s another to know what to actually do next. Whether it’s rebuilding credit, understanding your insurance, or learning where to be investing, you deserve support that’s compassionate, informed, and practical.

In my work as a financial professional, I’ve seen people transform not because they had the “perfect” plan, but because they had someone walking beside them, step by step. Together, we created small wins that built confidence, and that confidence became the foundation for bigger financial choices.

If you’re reading this and feeling unsure where to start, here are a few small ways to begin:

● Start with safety: Before you open your bank app or budget, take a deep breath. Feel your feet on the ground. Remind yourself that you are safe at this moment.

● Write your money story: What are your earliest memories of money? What emotions come up when you think about it? There’s power in simply noticing without judgment.

● Try micro-steps:

○ Save $5 a week in a “safety fund.”

○ Track one spending category for two weeks.

○ Say “no” to one financial obligation that doesn’t align with your values.

● Find accountability: Whether it’s a trusted friend, a coach, or a financial advisor, find someone who can hold you accountable with kindness — not criticism.

Remember, this isn’t about being perfect. It’s about learning to trust yourself again.

You are not behind. You are rebuilding.

If you’re in this season, please know: there’s nothing wrong with you. Financial instability after trauma is not a reflection of your worth — it’s a natural response to what you’ve lived through.

In fact, studies show that 71% of Canadian women report that financial stress is impacting their mental health. (Benefits Canada, 2024) You are not alone in this.

Healing your relationship with money isn’t about becoming someone else — it’s about remembering who you are, underneath the fear and scarcity.

My invitation to you is to Join The Wealthy Canadian Series

If this message resonates with you, if you’re ready to start healing emotionally and taking grounded steps toward financial stability. I want to personally invite you into The Wealthy Canadian Series, did I mention this is FREE

This isn’t a “budget bootcamp.” It’s a safe, supportive space created for Canadians to learn the basic financial strategies we should have been taught in school. You’ll gain tools, support, and strategies, but more importantly, you’ll rediscover your sense of choice.

You don’t have to do this alone. You deserve guidance that meets you where you are, with compassion, education, and hope.

If your heart is whispering “it’s time,” trust that. That’s your cue to take one small, brave step forward.

👉Join The Wealth Canadian Series: https://www.teamdld.com/TheWealthyCanadianChallenge

Healing is messy, nonlinear, and holy work. So is rebuilding your financial life. But I promise, every small act of healing you do creates ripples of stability that touch every area of your life.

You are not behind. You are becoming.

And when healing leads, money follows.

If you’d like to book a 1:1 with me please do so here: https://calendar.app.google/frBTLS21i2MG1qpo6

Handling Life
Featured

Nourish Yourself

Nourish Yourself

How many times have we heard that to be healthy, all one needs is a good diet and exercise?   Diet is one of the most frequent search requests on Google. 

In a land of great abundance, and variety of food stuffs, how can it be that so many Canadians and Americans are struggling with metabolic syndromes?  Weight gain, diabetes, menopause belly, middle age spread, are key words used in media to sell the latest fad, or discovery or drug.  Recently I had a panel of bloodwork done as part of an annual screening.  As I looked around the clinic on this early morning , there were so many different people each searching for a healthy life.  I started to wonder why are the numbers so high?  Below are some interesting studies regarding North America and Canadian diets.

  • A study from 2019 by Chef’s Pencil found that Canada was the ninth most diet-obsessed country in the world, with keto being the most popular diet. 
  • Companies like Mintel conduct surveys to understand consumer attitudes and beliefs about diet and nutrition in Canada. Stats Canada published a yearly report this past March stating the cost of food has been a challenge for many.  Anyone who has been in a grocery store this year can attest to that.
  • 84% of Canadians believe that what they eat impacts their physical well-being. 
  • One in four Canadians have dietary restrictions or preferences, especially those under 34 who lean towards dairy-free, vegetarian, or vegan options. 

The food production industry has become more industrialized, globalized and consolidated. Massive corporations driven by increasing profits and technological advancements have created a decline in crop diversity, and soil regeneration, and have increased the amount of chemicals found in food.  Glyphosate use and pesticides-ready seed crops are known to cause damage to the human biome and interfere with our digestive system and the energy of the cells.  Ultra-processed foods contain no nutritional value.  [See Dr. Mark Hyman’s website for suggestions on eating to improve longevity and functional wellness.]  Dr James D, Adamo writes in his book “Eat Right for your Blood Type” of the correlation between our blood type and the exercise method and diet best suited for each person.  I have found this information to be valuable and effective.

From an early age we are told to eat our vegetables. Given the number of phytonutrients, vitamins and the source of fibre vegetables provide, this is good advice. There are so many to choose from, it is not hard to find a vegetable to suit every palate.  I look for organic fruits and vegetables. Local markets or small farmstands are good places to find quality foods, while supporting your neighbourhood farmers.  Greenhart Farms offers a farm-share program, delivering fresh picked, organic vegetables and fruits weekly, during the spring to fall seasons.   Look in your area for a similar program, as it supports farm families, while feeding your family quality foods.  

If we view food as the way to nourish our cells, and well-being, we will choose the foods providing for optimal performance.  Do an assessment of your cupboards and fridge. What foods support your nutrition goals and what items bring no value and cause your body to work hard to detoxify the chemical ingredients in them? Choose the foods that serve you best.

What if the secret to being energetic and vibrant isn’t what we put in our mouth, but what comes out of it?

Most people believe that food is the most important element for our energy level. It isn’t. The most essential need for human beings’ energy needs is breath.

Breath is the first essential need for human beings.  Water is the second essential need for human beings.  Only 3 percent of your energy needs come from food.

A person can live about 70 days without food, according to a McGill University Office for Science and Society article published on Jan 10th, 2025. So why are we so food obsessed? This article also states that humans cannot live longer than 5 days without water. Going without water, impairs the detoxification process and harms the kidneys. We know dehydration impacts brain function, even at low levels of dehydration. But few people can go longer than 3 minutes without air.  Breathing is essential to every cell.  The breath of life nourishes us. Most of us don’t give breathing a second thought until we have a stuffed-up nose.  It comes automatically. Focusing on your breathing is a proven way of calming the central nervous system.  As we increase the function of the lungs, heart and circulatory system, we improve our energy and mental functioning.  It is no wonder that most spiritual practices start with the breath.  Jesus tells us  “ I am the bread of life”  “ I am the breath of life”  How interesting is it that those are the two things that get centered out.

I encourage you to take a few minutes to sit quietly and breathe deeply.   Being quiet in nature is a great way to experience a renewal of energy.  In my garden is a plaque that reads, ““Kiss of the sun for pardon. Song of the birds for mirth. You’re closer to God’s heart in a garden than any place else on earth.”— Dorothy Frances Gurney

We nourish ourselves not only with food. We nourish ourselves with quiet stillness. We nourish ourselves with time spend with friends. Laughter delights our soul.  A good book may nourish your mind. Take a moment today and ask yourself  “What do I need to be nourished?”

 May you be nourished in mind, body and spirit.

Blog Posts Healing Practices
Featured

Alternative Isn’t Alternative

Why Women Over 40 Need Both Western Medicine and Complementary Therapies

Why We Still Call It “Alternative Medicine”

I’ve always found it curious that practices like acupuncture, naturopathy, meditation, energy healing, and nutrition are called alternative therapies. The word itself suggests something “less than,” or optional. But for me, these therapies aren’t alternatives at all. They are essential to my health, balance, and vitality.

The truth is that our modern medical system often focuses on symptom treatment rather than prevention. For women over 40, that approach leaves many of us feeling unseen, unheard, and exhausted. Hormonal shifts, stress, and identity changes are brushed aside as “normal.” But we deserve more than survival. We deserve to thrive.

That’s why I’ve learned to embrace integrative health using both mainstream medicine and complementary therapies to create a holistic path forward.

My Story: When “Normal” Wasn’t Normal

Years ago, I found myself utterly drained. I was raising teenagers, working full-time, and managing a seasonal side hustle that demanded long hours. My life was busy, but the real issue was that my body couldn’t keep up.

No matter how much I rested, I was lethargic. I napped just to make it through the day. Then came the scare. My blood pressure plummeted, and I ended up in the emergency room. The advice? “Rest, buy a blood pressure cuff, and see your doctor Monday.”

When I finally got in to see my doctor (which was not on the following Monday), he ran the usuals blood tests. The tests came back normal. But I knew in my gut that something wasn’t normal at all. The exhaustion persisted. I persisted! I kept going back to the doctor looking for answers. I learned that the squeaky wheel gets the grease!

Specialists followed. More tests, more waiting rooms, more shrugs. Finally, a diagnosis: gastroparesis, a “lazy stomach.” My doctor suggested using me in a study but offered no real solutions.

That was the moment I decided to explore “alternative medicine.”

Complementary Therapies Changed My Life

I sought out a naturopath. The experience was completely different. Instead of focusing only on test results, my naturopath looked at the whole picture: my diet, stress, energy levels, and lifestyle.

We discovered that much of the diet I’d been prescribed by a nutritionist was actually making me worse. I also had depleted adrenals. No wonder I was exhausted.

Through dietary changes and targeted supplements, my energy gradually returned. I also did a lot of research on my own seeking the information I needed to make changes that made a lasting difference.

For me, complementary therapies weren’t “extras.” They were lifesaving. They gave me stamina, balance, and the ability to live my life again.

Dr. Christiane Northrup and the Wisdom of Women’s Bodies

Dr. Christiane Northrup, an internationally recognized physician and author, has long spoken about the power of women listening to their bodies. She teaches that symptoms are messages. Whispers from our bodies asking us to slow down, listen, and rebalance.

Too often, women are dismissed.

Fatigue? Stress.

Mood swings? Hormones.

Anxiety? Just in your head.

But as Dr. Northrup emphasizes, women’s bodies carry immense wisdom. Our symptoms are not nuisances. They are signals pointing toward deeper needs.

By combining Western medicine with holistic healing, women can honor both science and intuition. We can use diagnostics and treatments when needed while also leaning on natural healing practices that restore vitality, reduce stress, and help us thrive.

Why Women Over 40 Need Integrative Health

For women over 40, health is never just physical. It’s emotional, spiritual, and deeply tied to identity. This stage of life often brings hormonal changes, empty-nest transitions, caregiving responsibilities, and questions of purpose.

Western medicine offers critical support, diagnostics, surgery, emergency care, and pharmaceutical treatment when necessary. But it doesn’t always nurture the whole woman.

That’s where complementary and alternative medicine comes in:

  • Naturopathy: Balances hormones, supports digestion, restores adrenal health.
  • Acupuncture: Reduces hot flashes, eases insomnia, relieves anxiety.
  • Energy healing (like Pure BioEnergy Healing Therapy): Supports emotional release, reduces stress, and helps restore balance to the body’s natural systems.
  • Yoga, meditation, and mindfulness: Foster calm, clarity, and resilience.
  • Nutrition and supplements: Provide foundational support for energy and long-term health.

Together, mainstream and complementary therapies create a partnership. One diagnoses and intervenes when necessary; the other prevents, restores, and nurtures.

Complementary Doesn’t Mean Optional

The idea that “alternative medicine” is optional is deeply flawed. In many cultures, holistic healing has been the foundation of wellness for centuries. Chinese medicine, Ayurveda, and indigenous practices are not fringe therapies. They are time-tested systems rooted in balance and prevention.

When we call them “alternative,” we risk minimizing their power. In truth, they are complementary; working alongside modern medicine to provide the full spectrum of care women need to thrive.

Pure BioEnergy Healing Therapy: A Gentle Path to Healing

One of the most profound complementary therapies I’ve experienced is Pure BioEnergy Healing Therapy. This form of energy healing works with the body’s natural biofield, helping to clear blocks, restore balance, and allow the body to do what it knows best: heal.

It’s non-invasive, gentle, and effective. Women who experience Pure BioEnergy often report reduced stress, improved sleep, emotional release, and a renewed sense of vitality.

For me, Pure BioEnergy has been a cornerstone of my wellness journey. It has helped me not just heal, but reconnect with myself, my body, mind, and spirit. I have had problems with my feet for eons. I participate in our monthly Pure BioEnergy Online Healing events. It didn’t take long and I noticed that I no longer had pain in my feet. I no longer wear orthotics in my shoes! Bonus!!

Invitation: Experience Pure BioEnergy Healing

If you’ve been feeling exhausted, stressed, or out of balance.  If you’ve wondered whether there’s more to healing than prescriptions and “managing symptoms” I warmly invite you to experience Pure BioEnergy Healing Therapy for yourself.

We are hosting a Pure BioEnergy Online Healing Event September 8–11, 2025, at 7:30 pm EDT. This event is a chance to pause, receive, and allow your body to remember its natural ability to heal.

You don’t have to choose between Western medicine and complementary therapies. You can embrace both. You deserve both.

Thriving, Not Just Surviving

My story is not unique. Countless women over 40 are searching for answers beyond “you’re fine” or “it’s just stress.” We want to feel vibrant, strong, and whole.

By combining the best of Western medicine with holistic healing practices like naturopathy, acupuncture, meditation, and Pure BioEnergy Healing Therapy, we can create a path that honors both science and spirit.

As Dr. Northrup reminds us, our bodies are our allies. When we listen to their wisdom, healing becomes not just possible, it becomes inevitable.

So today, ask yourself: What is your body trying to tell you? What whispers are you ignoring?

Maybe it’s time to rest, to nourish yourself differently, or to explore complementary therapies that could help you thrive.

Because thriving isn’t about choosing one path over another. It’s about walking both, with courage, confidence, and trust in your body’s wisdom.

Are you ready to experience a new way of healing? Join us for the Pure BioEnergy Online Healing Event September 8 – 11, 2025, at 7:30 pm EDT and step into a space of calm, energy, and renewal. We meet each evening for 30 minutes. Your whole household can join in, even your pets.

Your body already holds the wisdom. This event will help you reconnect with it.

Register today. Don’t let another day go by where you don’t put yourself first.

Blog Posts Handling Life
Featured

How Much is Too Much?

How much is too much?

Recently I had been tasked with the sorting and clearing of my Mother-In-Law’s apartment.  She had fallen and because of her failing health went from the hospital to a nursing home. It was challenging on many levels.  She no longer had the mental capacity to make decisions for herself.  Therefore, I along with my husband, her son, had to decide what to do with all the stuff.

As a woman who had placed a great value on her appearance, the incredible volume of clothing bore testament to that.  There were 5 closets, 4 dressers and one wardrobe packed full of fashion.

It was like a time capsule from the 1960’s to present day.   Most of her pieces were in excellent condition, some still with price tags on them.  Desired, purchased yet never worn.  Brigitte lived in a time when women would get dressed up to go out.  She wouldn’t see visitors, friends or family without having had her hair done.  A trip to the hairdresser was a weekly occurrence in her younger days.  She loved to sew. Her singer sewing machine in it’s hardwood desk cabinet still works.   There were some blazers and skirts in her closet, pinned but not yet completed.  Although she had not sewn in the last 2 decades. 

She dressed impeccably with the matching necklaces, earrings and broaches.  Shoes and purses matched or co-ordinated.  Belts from every age, hung like an art design, sparkling when the light hit them.    Brigitte had worked in retail and would recount the stories of how she would set aside a garment when the new season’s style came in, so she always had the current fashion.  Most of the clothing in her closets had not been worn in years, perhaps decades.  She had 26 pleated skirts, still in the drycleaner plastic coverings, some brand new. That was just the pleated skirts. There were kilts, pencil skirts, flowing maxis, so many culottes.  Glamorous dresses with sequins, I wish I could have seen her in those days.  

Eight years ago when she and my father-in-law moved from their house to the apartment. I remember asking if she wanted to donate some of her extra clothing.  A sharp No was her response.  She could not comprehend how I could possibly suggest such an outrageous thing!  These were her things.  I understand it.  Although most of the clothing in her closet hadn’t been worn since she was in her 40’s, it was the memory that she held on to so fiercely.  In holding so tight to the past, she did not allow much room for the present.    She wanted the past back.  She longed for it, to the point that it was almost the only topic of conversation that interested her. She also did not let go of any perceived slight or insult, never forgiving and often bringing up in conversation the day, so and so, did such and such.  As a Purebioenergy Healing Therapist, and a person who had spent the last 20 plus years learning about healing, I knew that holding onto the anger, grief, sadness and bitterness was hurting her body and her mind.

She valued her privacy and did not want people in her home.   She had cut herself off from the world, choosing not to go out, nor have anyone in.  My husband and I used to joke, we were her minions.  Just do what needs doing, and do not expect any gratitude or you will just set yourself up for disappointment.  I do feel empathy for her. A person gets to choose what matters in their life.

Brigitte used to like a hot coffee and kuchen, (German for cake) every afternoon.  I would bring her a coffee from Tim’s, and a slice of cake from the German bakery.  It had to be fresh.  She would be happy for a few minutes.  My father-in-law when he was alive baked cake every 3 days, so there was fresh cake always available.   Now she can only eat minced food, so I am glad she had enjoyed her cake for all those years. 

As I sorted, cleaned, cleared, boxed up and carefully folded the items to be donated or consigned.  I am hopeful that perhaps a women may receive or purchase one of the 26 pleated skirts for a job interview, or a graduation ceremony for herself or her child.  Perhaps that women will have a girl’s day out to a theatre and tea house with her friends.  These are beautiful skirts, some never worn with the original labels still on them, Made in Canada of Canadian wool.   As I did this labour of love, I found myself pondering “How much is too much?” 

Four sets of fancy china dishes, some never have been used, rarely for a family gathering, waiting for a special occasion.  There is a sadness to waiting for the right time to use the good dishes, that sit gathering dust in the china cabinet. All the crystal glasses – many now at my house, until I decide what to do with them.   Many have already been donated to The Retail Therapy Store.  How many are too many?

As a child my husband was not allowed to have friends over, less they made a mess of the house.  His mother valued a clean house, never allowed a pet, although she liked cats. My MIL’s identity was very much tied up in how she, her house, her car, had to be perfect in her eyes. She would get very upset if it wasn’t.   She had an image of perfection.  It is very difficult to hold up the illusion of perfection.  It is also challenging to live your life under the auspices of what will the neighbours think.  How can you be free to be yourself, when you are constantly worried you may do something inappropriate, not fully knowing what inappropriate is, yet knowing you will be judged harshly for it?  

The other observation I had as a cleared, cleaned, and dealt with all this stuff was my realization of how angry and resentful I was becoming.  This responsibility had been dumped on us, myself especially. Prior to my father-in-law’s death at age 86, they had years to declutter, downsize the excess, and clear out the stuff. He purposely left all of it for us to deal with and told us so.   Granted he had been ill in the last year and had been the caregiver for his wife for years.   Last summer, my husband and I cleared out the property my F.I.L owned. This is the second time, we are left cleaning up the mess.   How many women experience this is their lives:  Left with the responsibility of clearing messes not of their own making?  Left with the responsibility of cleaning up stuff that not even their stuff? I know a woman who left her home in BC, to come to KW to clear out her parent’s place, after they had died.  It took her a year and a half to deal with the Estate responsibilities.  How much is too much?

These past 18 months, since the death of my father-in-law have been too much. The last six months have taken a toll.   There is a cost to having to do this.  A cost of time, the time away from my own children and grandchild, the time away from my business, and my commitment to clients, my business partner and our creative offerings.  A cost to my relationship to my husband, I am thankful we can talk out all the angst this has caused.  He is exhausted.  We have not had a summer, as this has been all consuming.   All our weekends, and after his full time work hours have been spent clearing.  This is thankless work, and it is hard work. Mentally, making the decisions, booking appointments, dealing with financial institutions, hours on hold with Bell Canada for a simple cancellation.  Organizing years of photos, collections, shredding old paperwork. Physically, it is demanding, moving furniture, carrying heavy boxes, cleaning repeatedly, and lifting heavy, cumbersome items.  Then addressing the emotional side as, one processes all the emotions that arise as you do it.    There is a cost to my health, and my husband’s health.  Thank God for PureBioenergy Healing Therapy.  We will take time to reset, refresh and renew ourselves.  My heart can empathize with the many caregivers who struggle looking after aging parents.

The moral of this story is take responsibility for your stuff – your physical stuff, your emotional stuff, your financial stuff.  Do it Now.  It is not an act of love to make your children bear the burden of you not taking responsibility and addressing that which needs to be done.  Let’s Clean up our act.   There are many ways in which less is more.

I am going through my own closet, as I do once or twice a year, asking myself what no longer fits my lifestyle?   Don’t let your stuff clutter up your space, your mind and your being.  Release it, let it go.   A few minutes a week, to sort the receipts, the accounts, and payments builds your confidence.  It feels empowering to know where your funds are going, and to see your savings growing.  A clean, organized home creates a calm, peaceful environment contributing to our well-being.

A poem by Judy

Life’s Journey

As you go along this journey of life,

Take a photo and travel light.

Keep the happy memory, release with Love, the sad.

You will find then, even the darkest days are not so bad.

Recount the laughter, the fun times, the Cheer

Let the irritations and disagreements disappear.

Keep your friendships current,

Keep your backpack light,

So you are always ready,

In a moment’s notice to go

And join the next adventure

Sans burden your trek to slow.

The stuff you can release it,

It only holds you back

And when it comes right down to it,

Its only faith we lack.

Spend your time with Loved ones

We all grow up too quick

Spend your coin on caring

Less the tax man takes his pick

Celebrate the moments,

Forgive and your will find,

This journey life provides for us

Is truly quite sublime. 

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The First Step to Change: Believing It’s Possible for You

She stood in front of the mirror, toothbrush still in hand, staring at the same woman who had gotten up every day, done the hard things, kept the peace, kept the schedule, kept herself small.

Maggie didn’t recognize herself anymore. Not really.

The lines around her eyes weren’t just age. They were tiredness. Worn edges. And something else she couldn’t name.

It wasn’t that her world had just suddenly fallen apart.

No, the unraveling had been slow; one broken promise at a time.

One more time she didn’t speak up.

One more birthday she planned for everyone else and no one remembered hers.

And now?

Now she stood at the edge. Not of a cliff exactly but of something she couldn’t see the bottom of.

Becoming herself. Finally.

But where would she even begin?

When the World Quietly Unravels

Maybe you see a bit of yourself in Maggie.

Maybe your “falling apart” wasn’t loud or dramatic. Maybe it was quiet, made of tiny betrayals; some from others, some from yourself, stacked up over years.

Maybe you’ve been functioning like a pro but feeling like a ghost.

If that’s you, I want you to hear this, gently but clearly:

It’s okay to not know where to start.

But it’s not okay to believe that you’re stuck forever.

Because you’re not.

No one talks about how heavy it is to even think about changing your life when you’re already exhausted from surviving it.

The Unseen Weight

You’ve probably said things to yourself like the following. And sadly, you’re not alone:

“I should be grateful…”
“It’s too late to change.”
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

These thoughts don’t make you weak. They make you human.

They are very common for women who’ve experienced trauma, especially the quiet, eroding kind that happens over time: emotional neglect, staying in the background, over-giving, never being seen.

So, if you’re overwhelmed and doubting your ability to change anything at all, it makes perfect sense.

After all, you’ve been doing your best just to survive.

That’s not a moral failure. That’s your nervous system doing its job.

But survival isn’t where your story ends.

A Whisper You Can Trust

There’s a sacred moment, a quiet one that shows up for every woman on the edge.

It doesn’t come with trumpets or fireworks.
It’s not dramatic.
It’s often just a whisper.

It sounds something like this:


“There has to be more than this.”

Not louder. Just clearer.

That whisper? In truth, that’s your deeper self—your knowing self.

That whisper? It’s your deeper self—the one who still believes in you. The woman who remembers what she loves is still inside. She’s just waiting for you to turn toward her again.

Not the tired one. Not the doubting one. But the knowing one. The woman who still exists under all the rubble. She’s still in there. She just needs you to come find her.

And I promise you; she’s worth the search.

The First Step Is Not What You Think

Let me lovingly bust a myth here:

The first step is not “having a plan.”

It’s not overhauling your whole life.
It’s not deciding overnight who you are or where you’re going.

The first step is simply choosing to believe that change is possible. Even if you don’t yet believe it for yourself.

Even if the belief is just a flicker.

Even if you’re still scared. Especially if you are.

What Courage Really Looks Like

When Judy and I talk about “courageous confidence,” we’re not talking about strutting into a new life with fireworks and lipstick and a five-point plan.

We’re talking about courage that looks like:

Getting out of bed and drinking water when you wanted to disappear.

Saying “no” to something you always said yes to, just to keep the peace.

Letting yourself want something again, even though you’ve been told you shouldn’t.

Courageous Confidence isn’t a personality trait.

It’s a muscle.
And we build it together.

This is exactly why we created the Courageous Confidence course—for women just like you. Not the ones who are already thriving and confident, but the ones on the edge—where you are right now. The ones who feel the whisper but don’t know what to do next.

You don’t have to do it alone. And you don’t have to figure everything out before you begin.

You’re Not the Only One

Let me tell you something we hear all the time in our women’s groups:

“I thought I was the only one who felt this way.”

But you’re not.

There are so many of us women who have given so much to everyone else for so long, we forgot what it meant to receive. To rest. To heal. To become again.

A Safe Place to Begin Again

That’s why we’re inviting you to join us for the Rooted Resilient Radiant Weekend Retreat September 12 to 14. It’s not a self-help seminar. It’s not a conference. It’s a gentle pause, a chance to step away from the noise, the “shoulds,” and the weight of pretending you’re okay.

It’s a space to be held, seen, and reminded of your wholeness.

And you don’t have to arrive already healed. You just have to arrive.

Saying Yes to Yourself Changes Everything

Here’s what happens when a woman — any woman — says,

“I’m willing to see what else is possible.”

She may not move mountains that day.

But she begins.

And that beginning? It changes everything.

In our Courageous Confidence to an Empowered Life 5 Day Journey, we walk with you through that beginning. We help you reconnect with the values that truly matter to you, shift the beliefs that are keeping you small, and choose what you want your life to look like now, not someday.

This isn’t fluff. It’s real work. But it’s heart-centered, woman-honoring, and completely do-able with support.

You don’t need to know what’s next. Instead, just stay curious about what’s possible.
What matters is that you feel something pulling you toward change.
And no, it’s not too late.

And if that’s you? You’re ready.

You Are Not Broken. You Are Becoming.

Please hear this:

You’re not too old.
Not too late.
Not too far gone.

You are becoming.

And yes, it’s scary. But it’s also beautiful. And Judy and I are hereto walk with you, to believe in you until your belief in yourself takes root.

Two Small Steps Toward Something Beautiful

Single sprouting seed

You don’t need to leap. Just step.

  1. Check out the Rooted Resilient Radiant Retreat happening this September. Even if it’s just to read the details and imagine yourself there. That spark? It matters.

  2. Book a Courageous Confidence Breakthrough Session. It’s a one-on-one chat with someone who’s been where you are. No pressure. No expectations. Just a loving conversation to explore what’s next for you.
    Book Here

If you’re not quite ready to reach out but want to keep exploring, that’s okay too. You might enjoy our reflection on the power of inner language—Watch What You Think—a reminder that your thoughts shape more than you know.

You’ve survived so much already.

You’ve survived so much already. Now, it’s time to build something new—not alone, but together.

Because you deserve a life that feels like yours again.
And it starts… exactly where you are.

If this post spoke to something deep in you, you’re not alone. We invite you to browse our Wounded Women Rising blog—each post is written with women like you in mind: tender-hearted, resilient, and on the edge of something new.

Blog Posts Handling Life
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Just One Thing

In this day of instant media, constant information, increased speed of life’s expectations, it is easy to see how one can experience a feeling of being overwhelmed.    The feeling of having too much to do, and no time to do it in.  The feeling that no matter what I do, it isn’t enough. Many women have so many responsibilities, it is a wonder they can relax at all.  Yet relaxation is essential to renewing our minds, and our bodies.  Not to mention our spirit which is where our energy resides.   Your intuition or inner knowing needs to have quiet or calm so you can hear it.   Today, let’s look at some ways that we can “Be Still…” and connect to our heart, so our minds and bodies can function better.

What are the symptoms/effects of over-thinking? 

Have you ever felt like your thoughts are running in circles, but you’re too drained to take a single step forward? One thought leads to the next To Do on the list, and at the same time you may feel guilt or irritation that you are not further towards your goal.  Let’s not make our goal our gaol. Let’s just pause, breathe for a minute.

Overwhelm and overthinking often creep in quietly, but their symptoms are unmistakable. For women healing from emotional trauma, it can feel like your inner world is on high alert—even when everything on the outside seems quiet.

You might notice it in these subtle but powerful ways:

Common Symptoms of Overwhelm & Overthinking

  • Procrastination: Not because you’re lazy, but because your mind is overloaded, and you don’t know where to begin. Procrastination is a double-edged sword. We know we need to do something, we think about it a lot. The thinking about it, creates an upset or irritation yet it doesn’t move us close to task. The deadline may be looming and our avoidance is in full bloom.  Being told “just get’er done” isn’t helpful. Be kind. If you are feeling this don’t criticize yourself. Acknowledge it.
  • Irritation & Mood Swings: Your patience wears thin, and small things feel massive. Some days I ask myself, Dang, Why do I feel so bitchy? 
  • Worry & Racing Thoughts: Your mind constantly replays scenarios or “what ifs”, even when you’re trying to rest.
  • Insomnia or Restless Sleep: You lie in bed tired but wired, unable to shut off the mental noise. Our friendly hormones can keep our mind caught in a loop.  Less sleep equals more irritability.
  • Apathy or Numbness: You feel stuck, unmotivated, or emotionally disconnected from your goals and dreams. Just feel like “MEH”.

These aren’t just inconveniences. They’re signals from your body and nervous system asking for attention, care, and recalibration.

So What Can You Do When You Feel Overwhelmed?

The healing journey doesn’t require perfection or doing everything at once. It simply begins with one small, grounded step.

Here are gentle but powerful remedies to help move you from frozen to focused:

1. Just Do One Thing

Start with one simple task. Make your bed. Send that email. Drink a glass of water. When your brain feels scattered, completing just one thing helps shift you from chaos to clarity. It reminds your nervous system: You’re capable. You’re moving forward.  Make “Just One Thing” your mantra.

2. Make a ‘Need-to-Do’ List

Write it out. Not just in your head. Getting your thoughts on paper stops the mental loop. You release the pressure to remember everything and can begin to prioritize what truly matters.

Writing it out also let’s us figure out what is in our control. Often we worry about other people’s reactions to us, spiking our stress levels when we let other’s expectations live in our minds.  Worry takes away our peace.  Choose to protect your peace.

3. Analyze & Delegate

Look at your list and ask:

  • What must I do because it aligns with my values or goals?
  • What can I delegate, delay, or even delete?

This isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing what’s meaningful and letting go of the rest.

4. Use Your Strengths to Build Confidence

What comes naturally to you? Organization, creativity, empathy, listening? Tap into your strengths first, they’ll energize you. Every time you act from your strengths, you build momentum, clarity, and self-trust.   We all have been given gifts. When we use our gifts, we feel good, confident and happy. Remember when you delegate something to someone, you let them use their gifts too.  You are doing a service to another person. That action brings you a boost of “feel good” dopamine.  Do good because it’s good for you.

5. Act:  Do the Thing.   The congratulate yourself for Doing the Thing!   When you complete a task, especially one you’ve been avoiding, your brain releases dopamine, often called the “feel-good” or “motivation” hormone. It’s a chemical reward that makes you feel a sense of pleasure, accomplishment, and momentum.

Even small actions, like crossing something off your to-do list or cleaning a drawer, give your brain a dopamine hit. This is why the “Just Do One Thing” strategy works so well, it kickstarts the reward system in your brain and shifts you out of freeze mode.

Why Dopamine Matters:

Dopamine isn’t just about pleasure. It’s part of your brain’s reward system, a system designed to reinforce positive behavior. When you take action and feel good afterward, your brain learns something very important:

“Taking action helps me feel better.”

Each time this happens, your brain builds a new neural pathway, what we call a positive feedback loop or even “success circuitry.”

It Looks Like This:

  • Cue: You feel overwhelmed
  • Action: You do one small thing
  • Reward: Dopamine makes you feel good
  • Reinforcement: Your brain says, “Let’s do that again.”

Over time, this rewires the default pattern of procrastination and freeze into a new one of confidence, momentum, and inner trust.

Where PureBioenergy Healing Comes In

When your nervous system is dysregulated from trauma or emotional exhaustion, even small tasks can feel impossible. That’s why PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is such a powerful ally.

By calming the mind, restoring energetic balance, and releasing stored emotional tension, it creates the inner stillness and spaciousness required for clarity and aligned action. You no longer feel hijacked by racing thoughts or paralyzed by fear, you feel centered, capable, and connected to your intuition.

How PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Helps

When you’re overwhelmed, your mind can become a torrential storm, tossing and tormenting you. PureBioenergy Healing Therapy offers a deeply calming space for your nervous system to reset.

Here’s what it does :

  • Calms the racing mind without requiring you to relive past trauma.
  • Creates deep relaxation in both body and mind, allowing restorative rest.
  • Enhances focus and clarity, helping you get out of “fog brain”.
  • Restores your energetic balance, so you feel lighter, grounded, and more present.
  • Connects you to your intuition, making decision-making clearer and more confident.
  • Decreases or stops Pain, so your body can rest, renew, and restore.
  • Improves Sleep: Sleep is essential for healing.

You Are Not Lazy. You Are Healing.

Overwhelm and overthinking are not flaws. They are protective responses from a nervous system that’s been through too much for too long.

The good news? You don’t have to stay in that stuck place.

With simple tools, supportive community, and powerful energy healing, you can find your way back to focus, flow, and peace.

Your Next Step:

If you’re feeling scattered or shut down right now, start small.

✔️ Just do one thing.
✔️ Make your list.
✔️ Ask for help.
✔️ Book a PureBioenergy Healing Therapy session.

Rose and I understand because we have lived it. I don’t just teach this, I live it.  Reach out if you have questions or just want an understanding listener.  We are here to serve. Do Just One thing today to bring you some peace, joy and happiness.

You deserve a life that feels clear, calm, and deeply connected to you.

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Your Body Speaks, Are you Listening?

The Body Speaks, are you listening to it?

There is a non-verbal language that is occurring continuously within us. 

Our nervous system, our many hormones, our intuition, interact as a symphony flowing, moving, shifting as one response creates another. Intermingling with each other, one raises the tempo, the next lowers the volume all so that the human being remains in harmony.

The conductor for this musical journey is the life source itself. 

Every cell in your body is capable of memory and consciousness. Dr. Bernie Seigel tells us,“ Your dreams, symbols, drawings and feelings tell us this and now so does science. Transplant patients can tell information about the individual whose donor organs are within them.  So please pay attention to the messages from your body and heal whatever may be hurting you. And be aware of the information you are giving your body.  Please don’t let your ability to think, overcome your ability to feel. “

Let’s look at some of the instruments in our orchestra.  Remembering the instruments themselves do not make the music. It is the Self, the person, the human being playing the instrument. It’s the frequency, the life source that creates the harmony.

As the majority of the Baby Boomers are coming into their mature years, the topic of hormones especially in para-menopausal and menopausal women are getting a lot of press.

Let’s take a moment to remember that women are working in careers now for longer than other time in history.   The external stresses on a person do affect the internal hormonal reactions.

Most of us know the major chords of Estrogen, Progesterone, Human Growth Hormone.  Today let’s talk about some of the minor chords, Cortisol, Leptin, Renin, adiponectin.

Let’s start with the endocrine system.   The adrenal glands are workhorses in the body.  Not only do the adrenals produce cortisol, and adrenaline, but they also make the hormones that turn into female hormones, estrogen and progesterone and male hormones like testosterone.   Women need testosterone as it plays a substantial role in libido. Libido isn’t just the desire to have sex; it is tied into your mental well-being. Your drive, your ambition is tied into your hormonal balance.

  The adrenal gland produces important chemicals like adrenaline.  Adrenaline gives a body the energy to act quickly.  Adrenaline draws on the fat storage for energy during stressful situations. It is usually burned off quickly once the danger has pasted. It quickens the pulse, stops digestion, shuts down the sex organs, because the body needs to respond to the danger immediately. Once the danger is over, the adrenaline decreases and systems go back to normal.

  The adrenal gland gets the signal to make the chemicals or hormone from the pituitary gland.   It tells the adrenal gland to produce adrenaline and cortisol as it has perceived danger. 

When the perceived danger, or a continuous stress does not decrease, the body releases high levels of cortisone.  Unrelenting stress, like worries about finances, a job you hate, toxic relationships where you feel you must put on a smile, and stuff your feelings. A chronic illness or generally feeling overwhelmed with your life can cause lasting damage. Women who have been through traumatic situations, may carry a higher cortisone level, if they have not had the opportunity to heal their emotional, and mental concerns.  This shows up in the body.

Cortisol is a powerful ally.  It helps maintain blood pressure, temperature, controls inflammation – is often given for pain reduction.  It is active when we exercise excessively, works with the sleep/wake cycle.  Emotional and physical upsets cause the brain to trigger to produce more cortisol.    But when cortisol is excessive.   It can cause havoc.  Cortisol draws on muscle tissue for fuel. Prolonged stress can lead to muscle wasting, and high blood sugar simply because your body is struggling to adapt.  Neuropeptide Y is another stress hormone that controls eating habits. When released it decreases metabolic rate. This causes more belly fat storage and fuels cravings for sugary foods and carbohydrates. 

Cortisol also decreases metabolic rate by interfering with thyroid hormones.

Both NPY and Cortisol boost abdominal fat storage.

Cortisol depletes serotonin, the happy hormone . Serotonin is created in the gut.  It’s decrease also creates carbohydrate cravings.

Cortisol can cause blood sugar imbalances, resulting in hypoglycemia. – shaking, irritability, fatigue and headaches between meals. (Hangry)

Cortisol causes a person to eat more than needed, by stimulating appetite-boosting NPY and blocking appetite supressing leptin.

Since cortisol saps testosterone, it can cause a languishing libido, and other serious health risks.

Excess cortisol leads to sleep disruption, which can lead to high blood pressure, mental and emotional issues, muscle fatigue, and lack of focus, and decreased mental capacity. Wounds take longer to heal, proprioception is impaired, struggling with balance and dizziness can occur.

How do you know if your cortisone is out of whack?  Dr. Natasha Turner offers a checklist in her book The Hormone Diet.   A saliva test will give you a hormone profile. It can tell if cortisol is too low in the morning, and too high at night. High cortisol at bedtime contributes to chronic insomnia.    IF cortisol is low all the time as shown in the saliva testing, it is one indicator of adrenal burnout. In fact, a saliva hormone test will give your estrogen, estradiol, progesterone, melatonin, testosterone, adrenal and cortisol profile.  I believe it is well worth it to have your hormones tested,  so you have a base line. Many Naturopathic doctors and Functional Medicine doctors recommend the test for peri-menopausal, menopausal women or  when younger women are struggling with fertility concerns.

“ To be lean, strong, vibrant, mentally focused, emotionally stable. We must control our cortisol.” Dr. Natasha Turner, author of The Hormone Diet.

So how to you do that?

Here a few immediate ways you can start.

  1. Do an assessment of your life and identify what it is that is stressing you.  This sounds easy. It may be the daily commute, it may be an external pressure, like deadlines or a difficult boss, or other person of significance in your life.  It maybe a belief system that was handed down, or put upon you, that no longer serves you, if it ever did.  Grief and other unprocessed emotions.
  2. Pause, Breathe.  Do an inhale to the count of 4, hold it for a count of 4, exhale for 4, then hold before the inhale for a count of 4.   Wim Hoff offers many youtube videos on breathwork.  Watch one, try it and see how you feel.
  3. Eat to fuel your body, not just to fill it. Healing foods are made by God. They are natural, close to source, full of enzymes, nutrients and vitamins and minerals and are not manufactured and highly processed.   Think fresh organic apples, dates, crisp colourful veggies, berries,  beans, grass fed beef or pasture-raised chicken and wild-caught fish.  
    Eat green veggies.  Add a greens drink to your day because the minerals you will get will help to calm the fire that stress creates.  Sea veggies have iodine which our thyroid needs. A quarter to a half a lemon, squeezed in hot boiled water every morning is a great cleanser for your liver. It provides Vit C and helps clears up skin blemishes. Try it. Drink instead of a caffeinated beverage.
  4. Eat nuts, and seeds.  Brazil nuts are high in selenium; almonds provide magnesium which does over 60 functions for the body.  Walnuts for the brain. Sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds are high in zinc, and sesame seeds are a good source of calcium.  Fresh ground Flax seeds are an excellent source of fibre and can sweep out excess estrogen. Soluble fibre with lots of water helps to detoxify the gut, adding a probiotic creates and intestinal microflora that allows the beneficial bacteria to thrive. Remember our serotonin comes from the gut.
  5. Dark chocolate has antioxidants, magnesium, and enzymes. Sugar free.  Choose organic cacao when you can.
  6. Detoxify your cosmetic bag.  Lead found in lipsticks, sodium lareate  sulfate , sodium benzoate found in face cleansers, shampoos, etc are all endocrine distruptors.  Choose organic, natural cleansers, make up – lots of choice available.  Essential oils are great ways to improve your wellness, and lower stress.  Only lavender and teatree can be used neat. All others must be diluted in a carrier oil, like jojoba oil, sweet almond oil,  evening primrose oil. Consult an aromatherapists for ratios.
  7. Avoid inflammatory foods, like fast food, high-fructose corn syrup, chemical laden process foods, low-fat , and sugar-free  labelled foods all contain chemicals that mess up hormones.
  8.  Enjoy a warm to hot Epsom salt bath before bed.  The increase in body temperature encourages detoxification. Epsom salt, which is magnesium sulfate, soothes muscles, promotes relaxation.  As the body cools, a lower body temperature assists with better sleep.
  9. PureBioenergy Healing Therapy will balance hormones, improve sleep, reduce stress levels and balance our immune system.  It brings harmony to the whole person on all levels.
  10.  Get fresh air and exercise. The sun is essential to our hormones.  Vitamin D is a pre-cursor to every hormone in the body.  Exercise with a friend. It’s fun and we keep each other accountable as it is hard to sleep in or put it off until tomorrow  when we  have someone waiting for us.  Plus they encourage us to do that one more rep or walk the extra kilometre.  Yes, You Can Do it.

Here is a recipe from Dr. Natasha :   Lovely Lentil Soup

2 TBSPs extra-virgin olive oil

1 sweet potato , peeled and diced

1 large onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon curry powder

1 inch piece of fresh ginger root, peeled and minced

1 tsp of cinnamon

1 cup of dry red lentils

4 cups of vegetable stock

2 tablespoons of tomato paste

Heat olive oil in a large sauce pan over medium heat. Add the sweet potato, onion, garlic, and ginger. Cook til vegetables are softened.

Stir in the curry powder, cinnamon, sea salt and cook for a few more minutes.

Add the lentils, vegetable stock, and tomato paste and mix well. Bring to a gentle boil, reduce heat and simmer covered for 30 minutes or until lentils are cooked.

Remove from heat and serve.   Share with someone you care about.

As you listen to your body, provide it with nutrients and loving care, notice what transpires in your life.   You are worth the time, and effort and the increase in energy, enthusiasm and vitality and strength will serve you long into your senior years.