<span class="vcard">Judy Johnston</span>
Judy Johnston
Personal Growth
Featured

Financial Security: What it means to me

For 15 years, I worked in the financial services industry. I held my Chartered Life Underwriter Designation, a mutual funds license and helped families create financial plans to protect from the risks of death, disability, while at the same time, save for their future needs. Be it a home, education, retirement, travel, cottage, whatever mattered to each person.  The plans had to be flexible enough to manage life’s unforeseen circumstances, yet stabile enough to create a foundation of security. 

The interesting thing about money is that if you speak to 5 different people, you may get 5 different answers on how money is viewed.  In a study done in New Zealand, it was discovered that there are 5 different money personality types. 

The enterpriser who is a future oriented planner.  The minimalist confident in their saving ability as they value a simpler life. The socialite is a joyful, risk taker, a generous emotional spender, who lives today and doesn’t think about tomorrow. The Contemporary focuses on paying down debt and maintaining a saving account to increase financial resilience. The Realist is very conservative with risk, highly values money yet is not confident in their money handling ability.  People may have some elements of each of the 5 types of money personalities but leans towards one predominantly.    How we think about money, does impact how we live our lives. 

I have met people to afraid to spend money on themselves and I have met people who would never think of spending a dollar on anyone other than themselves.  What matters to your financial security is the belief that you personally hold.  Your belief system inevitably creates your reality.  If you believe that your needs will be met, they will be.  The correlation is that you have the ability to do the work to achieve that. That too is a belief. This is faith in action.   I know people who acquire what they need or desire all the time, because their belief that it is so is that strong.  

Now, I am not saying that from time to time, we don’t experience financial upheaval, or challenges. We all do and always will.  That is the cycle of life. The economic cycles of expansion, contraction, recession, recovery and growth. In our lives, we have times of great affluence, influence or prosperity, gains in friendships, gains in weight, gains in experience. Then there will be times of contraction, weight loss, austerity, focusing inward, less spending, more sheltering.   Recognizing the cyclical nature of the world, be it the weather, the seasons, the economic times, the political times, the relationship of parent/child -child/parent ei the child if they both live long enough will parent the parent.  There is always a cycle.  Where on the curve of the cycle are you now?  Here is a method to plot that.

The wheel of life assessment is a common tool used to asset one’s life. The circle contains 10 sections which are important to maintain a balance or equilibrium in your life.  Imagine the spokes of a wheel. (you know, the things we used to weave ribbon through on our bicycles) Remembering that life, if viewed as a wheel, and one that is actually in constant motion, the balance part becomes increasingly important.  We want our wheels to support us, to carry us forward and keep us upright.  When learning to ride a motorcycle, our instructors would say, keep your eyes up and look to where you are going.  In life, it is the same. If we look down, we go down. How often did we fall off our bikes, when our attention went to either what was behind us, or the road below us.  We must look up and push forward.  To look forward and believe that the road ahead holds adventure, reward, opportunity, joy and fulfilment. 

The 10 elements on the wheel of life assessment tool are 1. Health, 2. Family, 3. Relationships 4. Social, 5. Financial, 6. Career/Business, 7. Education, 8. Hobbies, Fun/Leisure/Recreation, 9. Spiritual Growth,10. Contribution, and Creativity

I add this important paragraph to emphasis that money is only one aspect of life. The other 9 are just as important.  Sometimes, we judge ourselves just on the money portion, abundance of or lack thereof, forgetting that all the other aspects are essential to a balanced life.

Your money views or values are instilled by your family, your culture and your environment.  Money views can change if you choose to look at them and make adjustments if your current views are not serving you.  If savings was never taught as a goal to aspire to, it may not be of importance to you. Some people believe the only good investment is real estate.  Debt for the purpose of gain, or investment is a concept sometimes known as using “other people’s money” was very popular in the 1980s. It had its risks, and rewards. Gambling today is not only trending but is growing at an exponential rate.  Not that long ago, gambling was considered irresponsible. Today many people have an app on their phone. I am not recommending gambling just observing that something has changed, in how it is now presented.   Whether a person believes being in the stock market is too risky or is the only way to decrease the risk of the deflation of the dollar, it is the belief that matters. There will always be bad investments that don’t provide the reward that was promised.  There will be good opportunities that bring you more joy, than you could have imagined.

It is beneficial to work with a financial planner who is there to educate you on the options available for savings, investments and risk reduction and tax savings.  You want a person with whom you can build a relationship, not someone who just wants to make a sale.  Someone who understands your values, knows your family and your objectives.  So that when the life insurance policy or the critical illness policy needs to be paid out, they are there to assist with all the decisions to be made at that time.  Someone to celebrate with you, when you have your retirement party or send a  bon voyage card as you leave on a family cruise.

Financial security comes when you have confidence that the decisions you are making are the right decisions for you.  Feeling secure with your own unique plan. Be that being a technical nomad, or a homeowner with a vacation property, a tiny home, or a Harley.  It is your life, your choice, your money.  Take the road, make the choice and enjoy the ride.   If you get to a dead-end, or don’t like the scenery, change your route.  The experience you gain along the way has value too.  Life expands and contracts.  As my mentor would say, “You have to exhale, you cannot just inhale.” I believe that as we use our talents, money, and time to serve others in a beneficial way, the rewards flow back to us. And wouldn’t that qualify as a life well-lived?

Personal Growth
Featured

The Boundaries Within: Honoring the Promises You Make to Yourself

When we talk about boundaries, most people immediately think about the limits we set with others. Saying no, protecting our time, or stepping away from unhealthy relationships. But there is another type of boundary that is just as important, and often even more powerful.

These are internal boundaries.

Internal boundaries are the quiet agreements we make with ourselves about how we will live, what we will accept from our own behavior, and how we will honor our values.

They guide the choices we make when no one is watching. They shape the habits we allow, the thoughts we entertain, and the expectations we hold for ourselves. 

Unlike external boundaries, which protect us from outside influences, internal boundaries protect us from drifting away from our own values and purpose.

They are the promises we make to ourselves and keep.

When our internal boundaries are strong, we experience more peace, clarity, and confidence. When they are weak or unclear, we may feel scattered, exhausted, frustrated or disappointed in ourselves. At their core, internal boundaries are deeply connected to our values. They reflect who we truly want to be and how we choose to live.

Examples of Internal Boundaries

Here are three examples of internal boundaries many people set as part of their growth and healing journey.

1. Protecting Your Energy

An internal boundary might sound like:
“I will not push myself past exhaustion just to meet unrealistic expectations.”

This boundary honors the value of self-respect and wellness. It means allowing yourself rest instead of constantly overworking or over-giving.

2. Speaking to Yourself with Compassion

Another internal boundary could be:
“I will not allow harsh self-criticism to dominate my thoughts.” or “I think and speak only words of love.”

This boundary protects your emotional well-being and reflects the value of self-kindness. When negative self-talk appears, you gently redirect it with truth and compassion.

3. Staying Aligned with Your Integrity

An internal boundary may also sound like:
“I will make decisions that align with my values, even when it is difficult.”

This boundary supports honesty, authenticity, and personal integrity. It keeps you grounded in who you are rather than bending to pressure or fear. Internal boundaries become stronger when they are consciously aligned with our values and the person we are becoming. Here are three ways to begin strengthening them.

1. Clarify Your Core Values

Internal boundaries grow naturally when you understand what truly matters to you. Take time to reflect on questions such as:

  • What qualities do I want to live by?
  • What kind of person do I want to be in difficult moments?
  • What brings me peace and alignment?

When you know your values, it becomes easier to create internal limits that support them.

2. Practice Gentle Self-Awareness

Pay attention to the moments when you feel drained, conflicted, or out of alignment. These feelings often signal that an internal boundary has been crossed. Physically this may feel like heat rising, or stomach issues or deep fatigue. You may feel a flurry of emotions.

Instead of judging yourself, simply notice the pattern and ask: “What boundary within myself needs strengthening here?”

Awareness is the first step toward change.

3. Create Small Daily Commitments

Internal boundaries are strengthened through consistent choices, not dramatic change. This might look like:

  • Taking a few quiet moments for yourself each day
  • Pausing before reacting emotionally
  • Choosing rest when your body asks for it
  • Speaking kindly to yourself when mistakes happen

Each small decision reinforces the message that your values matter and your well-being deserves protection.

A Gentle Reminder

Internal boundaries are not about perfection or strict control. They are about living with intention and integrity. They help you remain connected to your wisdom, your values, and your higher self. The more you honor these inner agreements, the more your life begins to reflect who you truly are. Because ultimately, the most important boundaries we set are not the ones we speak to others. They are the ones we quietly keep within ourselves.

Let’s take a few quiet moments and reflect on these questions:

  • Where in my life do I feel out of alignment with my values?
  • What internal promise have I been neglecting or ignoring?
  • What small boundary could I set within myself today to honour my well-being?

Write freely and without judgment. This reflection is not about criticism. It is about awareness and growth. Often when we write in cursive, our subconscious thoughts come forward. Since our thoughts create our habits, so what thoughts are operating in the background?

Here’s a wee poem I wrote, and an affirmation you can choose to quote.

Internal Me

I hold the promises I make to me

That promise will shape the best me; I can be.

This part of me is precious and true.

The glass through which I perceive my world view.

My inner compass, my divine true north

Keeps my spirit going forth.

Each one of us is wondrously created.

When you uncover your divine truth your fears are abated.

With strong, open hearts,

A mind pure and light,

May our internal selves

Be joy filled and shine bright.

I honor the promises I make to myself.
My choices reflect my values, my wisdom, and my worth.

For more insights on boundaries, check out my other blog post.

Blog Posts Emotions
Featured

Emotional Safety Begins Within

Emotional Safety Begins Within: How Self-Talk Shapes Self-Confidence

Emotional safety does not begin in our relationships with others.
It begins within our heart and our mind.

It begins in the way we speak to ourselves.

Before we feel confident in the world, before we trust our decisions or feel anchored in who we are, our nervous system needs to feel safe. And that sense of safety is shaped, or quietly eroded, moment by moment by our inner dialogue.  Before we feel grounded in who we are, we need to feel emotionally safe inside our own minds. Self-talk is the constant conversation happening beneath our awareness. It interprets our experiences, narrates our mistakes, and quietly teaches our nervous system what to expect from life. When that inner voice is critical, dismissive, or dishonest, the body stays on alert. When it is kind, clear, and supportive, the body begins to settle.

Emotional safety and self-confidence are deeply connected. And one of the most powerful ways to strengthen both is by becoming intentional about how we communicate with ourselves.

Thoughts and the Central Nervous System

Every thought you think sends a signal through your central nervous system.

Critical or fear-based thoughts activate the sympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for fight, flight, or freeze or fawn. This can show up as anxiety, tension, irritability, racing thoughts, insomnia or emotional exhaustion. When the nervous system stays in this state for too long, self-confidence erodes. It becomes harder to trust yourself, make decisions, or feel grounded.

Supportive, honest thoughts activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the state of rest, regulation, and repair. This is where clarity lives. This is where intuition becomes accessible. This is where confidence can grow.

Your body does not distinguish between an external threat and an internal one. Harsh self-talk is experienced by the nervous system as danger.

That is why emotional safety begins with awareness.

1. Awareness: Noticing the Thoughts That Frequent Your Mind

You cannot change what you are not aware of.

Most self-talk runs automatically. Thoughts like:

I should be over this by now.

  • Why am I like this?
  • I’ll deal with it later.
  • I’m not doing enough.

These thoughts may feel factual, but they are often conditioned patterns shaped by past experiences, expectations, and survival strategies.

Awareness means gently noticing:

  • What thoughts repeat most often?
  • What emotional tone do they carry?
  • What happens in your body when they arise?

Do your shoulders tighten?
Does your breath become shallow?
Does your energy drop?

This awareness alone can begin to calm the nervous system. When you observe rather than react, you create a pause. And that pause is where emotional safety begins.

2. Curiosity: Where Did These Thoughts Come From?

Once you notice your self-talk, the next step is curiosity, not judgment.

Instead of asking, What’s wrong with me for thinking this?
Ask. Where did I learn this voice?

Many thought patterns originate from:

  • Childhood conditioning
  • Past relationships
  • Cultural or spiritual expectations
  • Times when honesty felt unsafe

That critical voice may have once protected you. It may have helped you avoid conflict, stay alert, or meet expectations. But what once supported survival may now be undermining confidence.

Curiosity signals safety to the nervous system. It shifts you out of self-attack and into self-understanding. When the body senses curiosity instead of criticism, it softens.

And a softened nervous system is more open to change.

3. Pausing to Listen: The Advantage of Calm and Clarity

You cannot hear your thoughts clearly when your nervous system is dysregulated.

When you’re anxious or overwhelmed, thoughts feel louder, faster, and more convincing. That’s why calming the body comes before changing the mind.

Pausing may look like:

  • Taking three slow breaths
  • Placing a hand on your chest or belly
  • Sitting quietly for 30 seconds
  • Squeeze and release your muscles

This pause activates the parasympathetic nervous system. As the body settles, clarity returns.

Clarity allows you to listen, not just to the thought itself, but to what’s underneath it. Often beneath self-criticism is fear, fatigue, or an unmet need.

When you become calm enough to listen, you move from reaction to response. And response is where your power lives.

4. Capturing the Thought: Creating Space and Choice

Once you are aware and calm enough to listen, the next step is to capture the thought.

Capturing a thought means naming it.

Instead of:
I’m failing.

You say:
I’m noticing the thought that I’m failing.

This simple shift creates space between you and the thought. You are no longer fused with it, you are observing it.

This matters deeply for the nervous system. It reminds your body that thoughts are not commands or truths they are experiences that can be examined.

Capturing thoughts restores agency. It gives you back choice.

5. Recognizing Your Power to Change Your Thoughts

Here is the truth many people were never taught:

You may not control the first thought that appears but you do have power over what happens next.

When you capture a thought, you can respond to it.

This is where self-confidence begins to rebuild.

Responding does not mean arguing with the thought or forcing positivity. It means offering yourself grace.

6. Replacing the Thought With Grace Toward Yourself

Graceful self-talk supports nervous system regulation. It communicates safety, patience, and support.

For example:

  • I should be stronger than this becomes
    This is hard, and I’m allowed to take my time.
  • I don’t trust myself becomes
    I’m rebuilding trust one choice at a time.
  • I’m failing becomes
    I’m learning, and learning takes courage.

Grace does not deny reality. It meets reality with compassion.

When your nervous system feels safe, your mind becomes more flexible. When your mind is flexible, confidence grows naturally.

How Emotional Safety Builds Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is not created by pushing harder or silencing doubt. It is built through repeated experiences of inner safety.

Each time you:

  • Notice a thought
  • Get curious about its origin
  • Pause to calm your body
  • Capture the thought
  • Respond with grace

You teach your nervous system a new message:
I am safe with myself.

Over time, this changes everything. How you make decisions, how you trust your intuition, how you relate to others, and how you move through the world.

A Gentle Reminder

Changing self-talk is not about perfection. It’s about orientation—turning toward yourself instead of away.

There will be days when the old voice is loud. That doesn’t mean you’re falling back. It means your nervous system is asking for care.

Emotional safety is the foundation upon which self-confidence is built. And emotional safety begins with how you speak to yourself.

You don’t need to become someone new.
Gently start to become kinder and clearer with the wonderful woman you already are.

If you would like support with a few methods to help you with this, Rose and I are here to be of assistance.   You can join our free webinar “Make Peace with Your Past”. Download the Belief Blossoms e-book and/or book a free Heartbreak Freedom Session to have someone who cares listen.  Every month we offer an Online PureBioenergy Healing Therapy to calm your mind, align your head and your heart, and balance your body.  You are not alone.

That is where healing and confidence begin.

Emotions Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Joy, Joy, Unending Joy

Joy, Joy, Joy, unending Joy.

In this season, we hear a lot about joy.  It is in the Christmas songs on playlists, Joy to the World rings out as we negotiate a parking space at the mall.  We see the word lit up in lights among the decorations.  We are reminded to be joyful by advertisements for alcohol, diamond jewellery, or perfumes.  But what is Joy?   

Joy supersedes happiness. Happiness is an emotion that can come or go depending on the circumstances surrounding us.  It is a good, positive emotion that makes us, well, happy.  Joy is deeper, more profound.  Joy is a state of being. Joy holds a higher resonance.  It embraces a deep delight, gladness, a sense of well-being, a sense of spiritual wellness. Joy is like a deep well that sustains us even in times of trial or drought.  Happiness may happen to us.  Joy is within us.   Jesus tells us to “Ask, and you will receive so that your joy will be complete” JN16.24

Joy can be described as bubbling up, like an eternal spring that exists within our hearts.

 I did a quick survey before I wrote this article, and asked people. “What brings you joy?”

These are the answers that I received from different people.  Interestingly, many people gave the same answers.

Playing with my grand children, watching children play, listening to children speak or sing.

Listening to music, singing, dancing.  Music lifts our mood. Singing a song out loud, really loud. Playing the piano. Playing my drums. Dancing in the kitchen while I make dinner.

Playing with or watching my dog.  Petting our cat.

Holding my new baby.

Playing a game with others.  Spending time with my friends.  Having a deep heart-felt conversation. Getting something accomplished, especially if I had been putting it off.

Sewing. Throwing clay to make pots or mugs. Swimming in the sea.  Painting.

Baking a pie, cake, or cookies, and chocolates and gifting them to my friends and family.

The smell of orange, or cinnamon…invokes a memory of baking with my Mom.

Walking in the snow. Walking on the beach.  Watching and listening to the birds outside.

Just being with my loved ones.  Smiling at people.  Saying Thank you.  Listening to my spouse.  Surprising my child with a gift or an outing.

Read the list again and see what you notice.  Most of the joy moments came from being with others, doing for others, or being in nature or feeling close to God.   Not one person I interviewed said their joy came from a diamond necklace or a new car or a bottle of Scotch.  

The other element I noticed was that so many found joy in giving to others.  One person volunteers every year with a charity that provides meals and gifts for people. She said it was the highlight of her Christmas season.  Joy comes from a sense of purpose, rooted in relationship with self, God and others.  That is what Jesus was talking about. 

There used to be a slogan for the Red Cross, saying ‘Blood, it’s in you to Give”.   Isn’t it true that joy is also in us to give.  In fact the more we give of it, the more we get back.   Remembering that joy is deeper than a passing emotion, it is an essential part of you.  It exists within you.  It is not something to be strived for, it is already there. As you become attuned to resonance of joy, you will see and feel and choose it.

Take some time today or over the next few weeks and uncover, experience and elevate your joy. 

Sometimes, I dare say, even often, our joy gets covered over. We may perceive that we are too busy, too stressed, to oppressed, to obsessed, to distracted, too confused, too abused, too sad or lonely to uncover and hold our joy.  Those are lies. The truth is your joy never leaves you. It waits patiently for you to remember and come back to it.  Your spirit holds it there like a candle lighting your way in the darkness.  Joy, Joy, unceasing Joy.

Come in from the cold. Come to the light that waits for you. Pause, breathe.

Remember how loved you are.  You are love. Created in the image of love. The eternal love that is never extinguished.  Your spirit knows. Rest. Ask and receive.    

May joy be with you, within you, and through you.  May you sing out loud and let joy fill you with that glorious, magnificent resonance.  May the soft stillness of snow falling, or of a sunrise bring a smile to your face and a glow to your being.  May peace, joy and love live within you. May your joy increase, and your wonder never cease. May God blessings surround and sustain you.

Blog Posts Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Boundaries – Protecting your Peace, Reclaiming your Power

A good fence makes great neighbours.

A boundary is an invisible fence that holds our values, security, insights, ideas, time.  The walls and doors of your house, keep your body and possessions safe. It prevents your stuff from spilling all over your yard. In the same way, your boundaries protect your mental health, your physical health and your emotional wellbeing. 

Why do you need boundaries? 

You need boundaries so you have control over what happens in your space.  Just like property lines. I can plant flowers or vegetables on my property but I can’t plant them in my neighbour’s yard, especially when they want a yard of manicured green grass. Your boundaries give you control over your space.  When someone trespasses on your space without your permission, it causes you pain.  And vice versa.  You control your space and take responsibility for that space. Your internal space is your thoughts, your talents, your emotions, your habits, your intuition, your spirit, your desires, your goals and dreams.  Each of these have a light side and a dark side to them.  It is important to take responsibility for all it, the light, and the dark.  Only you can control you.  Remember though, you can ask for help when you need it. You can offer help to another person.  They get to choose if they can help or if they want your help.  We cannot thrive in isolation. Often after a traumatic event, people withdraw and go inward, closing off their hearts, sitting in the dark, not wanting to trust or be with others.  I understand this response.  This can be a starting point. 

We are created for community.  You do, however get to choose the community.  A community that aligns with your values, and that values you. A boundary is not a wall that keeps others out. It is more like a fence, or a cell membrane, or a riverbank. It is permeable with you as the gate keeper. You get to decide who or what comes in, and who or what is not allowed in.  What would you like to have in your space?  What you value is worth protecting.  Your peace of mind is priceless. Your talents and gifts unique to you are needed in the world.  Give yourself permission to say yes to what aligns with you, and no to what does not. It is not selfish. It is self-respect.  When we start to respect ourselves, others will too.  If someone consistently disrespects, oversteps and ignores your boundaries, it is time to limit or end your relationship with this person. 

Here is a visual for you.  The hula hoop analogy. Imagine you have a hula hoop around you. You are holding it in place with your hands.  You can easily move within the hula hoop.  You can move your legs and travel with the hula hoop.  If others have their hula hoops in place, everyone can participate in the dance, with ease of space. Not banging into each other. Each having the freedom to function within their hoop.  Imagine now that your hula hoop is held by another person. It impedes your ability to move freely. If someone puts their hula hoop over you, without your permission or consent, it stops you from moving freely.  It is constricting and uncomfortable, especially if it continues for an extended period.  The hula hoops represent our boundaries.  We can tolerate letting someone influence us if it is for the common good, and usually for a set period, knowing there is a common goal to achieve.  If the time exceeds our expectations or if the goal is constantly changing, having our boundaries trampled on, leads to resentment. Boundaries are essential for well-being.

Being nice can often negate our boundaries.  I want people to like me therefore I may do things that may not be good for me in order to please them. I over give or let someone take advantage of my niceness.  Perhaps you over give your time or your talent, or don’t charge the going rate for your work.  Depleting yourself will eventually affect your physical and mental wellbeing and your wallet too.

Signs of Poor Boundaries.

There are specific symptoms that go along with struggling from poor boundaries.  Here is a list of some symptoms and the corresponding boundary issue.

Here are 5 health symptoms tied to weak or violated boundaries:

SymptomWhat It Means
Chronic Stress & AnxietyYour nervous system is overloaded from people-pleasing or overcommitting
Burnout & ExhaustionYou’re carrying emotional weight that isn’t yours
Resentment & IrritabilityYou say “yes” when you want to say “no”
Tension, Headaches, InsomniaThe body stores unspoken emotions
Low Self-Worth or Self-DoubtYou feel guilty for having needs

Many women think something is wrong with them, but truly, they are simply overextended, overwhelmed, and emotionally unprotected.

Boundaries extend to many parts of our lives.

Here’s 5 areas that you might consider reviewing.

Physical BoundariesYou choose how, when, and with whom you share physical space or touch.
Emotional Boundaries“I’m not available for conversations that are disrespectful.”
Time Boundaries“I can help, but I only have 30 minutes.”
Energetic BoundariesLimiting time with people who drain or criticize you.  Have you ever felt deep exhaustion after being with certain people? This needs a boundary.  Perhaps a quick phone call and not an in-person visit is warranted. Set a timer and end the call with a polite “I will let you go now, Have a great day.”
Digital Boundaries You don’t have to answer every message immediately. Posts that upset you, delete. Set a time limit to how long you will be on social media.  Don’t scroll before bedtime, it interferes with our ability to fall and stay asleep.

Here are some phrases you can use to help you establish and maintain your boundaries. You can be polite, but firm.

 Healthy boundaries sound like:

  • “No, I’m not able to do that today.”
  • “I need time to think before I commit.”
  • “I will not be spoken to that way.”
  • “That doesn’t feel right for me.”

Saying no is not selfish. It is a form of self-respect.
Remember: people who benefit from your lack of boundaries will be the ones who resist them most. There are those people who will not honour your boundaries. For your own health, you must separate yourself from them.

Here is an Example of a Healthy Boundary: “I won’t be available to talk after 9 PM. That’s my time to rest and recharge.”

This boundary is healthy because:

  • It clearly communicates a limit.
  • It takes responsibility for personal needs.
  • It is respectful, firm, and guilt-free.
  • It protects emotional and physical well-being.

   Each person needs their privacy, their own space to collect their thoughts, and to have a clean, quiet space.

Your boundaries and your values are woven together.  If you have a value of generosity, you may delight in assisting others, financially, with your time, or your talent.  Remember that even in giving, you need to receive. You also need discernment, so your generosity is not taken for granted. You do not want to feel pressured that you must give, even when you cannot.  This is your boundary. 

In nature, even the individual cells of our body have a boundary. It is the cell membrane on every cell in our body.   It protects our energy and our ability to renew it.  Our cell membrane lets nutrients in and removes waste. It also communicates with the other cells. If you believe you cannot set boundaries, remember that you have billions of them within you.   Draw strength from that creative source within you.   If you want some help with building your boundary fence, please reach out to Rose and I.  We have the tools to help you design and build your own uniquely landscaped soul space, with fences, and gates.

May your needs be honoured. May your peace be protected. And may you choose what is right and respectful for you.   

This poem came to me as I was walking along the river, contemplating this post.

The River.

The river hugs its riverbanks,

it holds them to the left and right.

The banks keep river in her flow

as she confidently knows where to go.

While rocks cause ripples, and speeds increase,

her riverbanks help keep the peace.

River knows her water stays intact,

she travels along without looking back.

Bubbling joyfully as she goes along

the birds sing with her, when her current is strong.

This river can meander at will, cause her riverbanks won’t overspill.

They give her the strength to know who she is, so she can give life to

all she encounters.

River hugs her riverbanks,

and thrives inside them with great Thanks.

Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Nourish Yourself

Nourish Yourself

How many times have we heard that to be healthy, all one needs is a good diet and exercise?   Diet is one of the most frequent search requests on Google. 

In a land of great abundance, and variety of food stuffs, how can it be that so many Canadians and Americans are struggling with metabolic syndromes?  Weight gain, diabetes, menopause belly, middle age spread, are key words used in media to sell the latest fad, or discovery or drug.  Recently I had a panel of bloodwork done as part of an annual screening.  As I looked around the clinic on this early morning , there were so many different people each searching for a healthy life.  I started to wonder why are the numbers so high?  Below are some interesting studies regarding North America and Canadian diets.

  • A study from 2019 by Chef’s Pencil found that Canada was the ninth most diet-obsessed country in the world, with keto being the most popular diet. 
  • Companies like Mintel conduct surveys to understand consumer attitudes and beliefs about diet and nutrition in Canada. Stats Canada published a yearly report this past March stating the cost of food has been a challenge for many.  Anyone who has been in a grocery store this year can attest to that.
  • 84% of Canadians believe that what they eat impacts their physical well-being. 
  • One in four Canadians have dietary restrictions or preferences, especially those under 34 who lean towards dairy-free, vegetarian, or vegan options. 

The food production industry has become more industrialized, globalized and consolidated. Massive corporations driven by increasing profits and technological advancements have created a decline in crop diversity, and soil regeneration, and have increased the amount of chemicals found in food.  Glyphosate use and pesticides-ready seed crops are known to cause damage to the human biome and interfere with our digestive system and the energy of the cells.  Ultra-processed foods contain no nutritional value.  [See Dr. Mark Hyman’s website for suggestions on eating to improve longevity and functional wellness.]  Dr James D, Adamo writes in his book “Eat Right for your Blood Type” of the correlation between our blood type and the exercise method and diet best suited for each person.  I have found this information to be valuable and effective.

From an early age we are told to eat our vegetables. Given the number of phytonutrients, vitamins and the source of fibre vegetables provide, this is good advice. There are so many to choose from, it is not hard to find a vegetable to suit every palate.  I look for organic fruits and vegetables. Local markets or small farmstands are good places to find quality foods, while supporting your neighbourhood farmers.  Greenhart Farms offers a farm-share program, delivering fresh picked, organic vegetables and fruits weekly, during the spring to fall seasons.   Look in your area for a similar program, as it supports farm families, while feeding your family quality foods.  

If we view food as the way to nourish our cells, and well-being, we will choose the foods providing for optimal performance.  Do an assessment of your cupboards and fridge. What foods support your nutrition goals and what items bring no value and cause your body to work hard to detoxify the chemical ingredients in them? Choose the foods that serve you best.

What if the secret to being energetic and vibrant isn’t what we put in our mouth, but what comes out of it?

Most people believe that food is the most important element for our energy level. It isn’t. The most essential need for human beings’ energy needs is breath.

Breath is the first essential need for human beings.  Water is the second essential need for human beings.  Only 3 percent of your energy needs come from food.

A person can live about 70 days without food, according to a McGill University Office for Science and Society article published on Jan 10th, 2025. So why are we so food obsessed? This article also states that humans cannot live longer than 5 days without water. Going without water, impairs the detoxification process and harms the kidneys. We know dehydration impacts brain function, even at low levels of dehydration. But few people can go longer than 3 minutes without air.  Breathing is essential to every cell.  The breath of life nourishes us. Most of us don’t give breathing a second thought until we have a stuffed-up nose.  It comes automatically. Focusing on your breathing is a proven way of calming the central nervous system.  As we increase the function of the lungs, heart and circulatory system, we improve our energy and mental functioning.  It is no wonder that most spiritual practices start with the breath.  Jesus tells us  “ I am the bread of life”  “ I am the breath of life”  How interesting is it that those are the two things that get centered out.

I encourage you to take a few minutes to sit quietly and breathe deeply.   Being quiet in nature is a great way to experience a renewal of energy.  In my garden is a plaque that reads, ““Kiss of the sun for pardon. Song of the birds for mirth. You’re closer to God’s heart in a garden than any place else on earth.”— Dorothy Frances Gurney

We nourish ourselves not only with food. We nourish ourselves with quiet stillness. We nourish ourselves with time spend with friends. Laughter delights our soul.  A good book may nourish your mind. Take a moment today and ask yourself  “What do I need to be nourished?”

 May you be nourished in mind, body and spirit.

Blog Posts Navigating Life Changes
Featured

How Much is Too Much?

How much is too much?

Recently I had been tasked with the sorting and clearing of my Mother-In-Law’s apartment.  She had fallen and because of her failing health went from the hospital to a nursing home. It was challenging on many levels.  She no longer had the mental capacity to make decisions for herself.  Therefore, I along with my husband, her son, had to decide what to do with all the stuff.

As a woman who had placed a great value on her appearance, the incredible volume of clothing bore testament to that.  There were 5 closets, 4 dressers and one wardrobe packed full of fashion.

It was like a time capsule from the 1960’s to present day.   Most of her pieces were in excellent condition, some still with price tags on them.  Desired, purchased yet never worn.  Brigitte lived in a time when women would get dressed up to go out.  She wouldn’t see visitors, friends or family without having had her hair done.  A trip to the hairdresser was a weekly occurrence in her younger days.  She loved to sew. Her singer sewing machine in it’s hardwood desk cabinet still works.   There were some blazers and skirts in her closet, pinned but not yet completed.  Although she had not sewn in the last 2 decades. 

She dressed impeccably with the matching necklaces, earrings and broaches.  Shoes and purses matched or co-ordinated.  Belts from every age, hung like an art design, sparkling when the light hit them.    Brigitte had worked in retail and would recount the stories of how she would set aside a garment when the new season’s style came in, so she always had the current fashion.  Most of the clothing in her closets had not been worn in years, perhaps decades.  She had 26 pleated skirts, still in the drycleaner plastic coverings, some brand new. That was just the pleated skirts. There were kilts, pencil skirts, flowing maxis, so many culottes.  Glamorous dresses with sequins, I wish I could have seen her in those days.  

Eight years ago when she and my father-in-law moved from their house to the apartment. I remember asking if she wanted to donate some of her extra clothing.  A sharp No was her response.  She could not comprehend how I could possibly suggest such an outrageous thing!  These were her things.  I understand it.  Although most of the clothing in her closet hadn’t been worn since she was in her 40’s, it was the memory that she held on to so fiercely.  In holding so tight to the past, she did not allow much room for the present.    She wanted the past back.  She longed for it, to the point that it was almost the only topic of conversation that interested her. She also did not let go of any perceived slight or insult, never forgiving and often bringing up in conversation the day, so and so, did such and such.  As a Purebioenergy Healing Therapist, and a person who had spent the last 20 plus years learning about healing, I knew that holding onto the anger, grief, sadness and bitterness was hurting her body and her mind.

She valued her privacy and did not want people in her home.   She had cut herself off from the world, choosing not to go out, nor have anyone in.  My husband and I used to joke, we were her minions.  Just do what needs doing, and do not expect any gratitude or you will just set yourself up for disappointment.  I do feel empathy for her. A person gets to choose what matters in their life.

Brigitte used to like a hot coffee and kuchen, (German for cake) every afternoon.  I would bring her a coffee from Tim’s, and a slice of cake from the German bakery.  It had to be fresh.  She would be happy for a few minutes.  My father-in-law when he was alive baked cake every 3 days, so there was fresh cake always available.   Now she can only eat minced food, so I am glad she had enjoyed her cake for all those years. 

As I sorted, cleaned, cleared, boxed up and carefully folded the items to be donated or consigned.  I am hopeful that perhaps a women may receive or purchase one of the 26 pleated skirts for a job interview, or a graduation ceremony for herself or her child.  Perhaps that women will have a girl’s day out to a theatre and tea house with her friends.  These are beautiful skirts, some never worn with the original labels still on them, Made in Canada of Canadian wool.   As I did this labour of love, I found myself pondering “How much is too much?” 

Four sets of fancy china dishes, some never have been used, rarely for a family gathering, waiting for a special occasion.  There is a sadness to waiting for the right time to use the good dishes, that sit gathering dust in the china cabinet. All the crystal glasses – many now at my house, until I decide what to do with them.   Many have already been donated to The Retail Therapy Store.  How many are too many?

As a child my husband was not allowed to have friends over, less they made a mess of the house.  His mother valued a clean house, never allowed a pet, although she liked cats. My MIL’s identity was very much tied up in how she, her house, her car, had to be perfect in her eyes. She would get very upset if it wasn’t.   She had an image of perfection.  It is very difficult to hold up the illusion of perfection.  It is also challenging to live your life under the auspices of what will the neighbours think.  How can you be free to be yourself, when you are constantly worried you may do something inappropriate, not fully knowing what inappropriate is, yet knowing you will be judged harshly for it?  

The other observation I had as a cleared, cleaned, and dealt with all this stuff was my realization of how angry and resentful I was becoming.  This responsibility had been dumped on us, myself especially. Prior to my father-in-law’s death at age 86, they had years to declutter, downsize the excess, and clear out the stuff. He purposely left all of it for us to deal with and told us so.   Granted he had been ill in the last year and had been the caregiver for his wife for years.   Last summer, my husband and I cleared out the property my F.I.L owned. This is the second time, we are left cleaning up the mess.   How many women experience this is their lives:  Left with the responsibility of clearing messes not of their own making?  Left with the responsibility of cleaning up stuff that not even their stuff? I know a woman who left her home in BC, to come to KW to clear out her parent’s place, after they had died.  It took her a year and a half to deal with the Estate responsibilities.  How much is too much?

These past 18 months, since the death of my father-in-law have been too much. The last six months have taken a toll.   There is a cost to having to do this.  A cost of time, the time away from my own children and grandchild, the time away from my business, and my commitment to clients, my business partner and our creative offerings.  A cost to my relationship to my husband, I am thankful we can talk out all the angst this has caused.  He is exhausted.  We have not had a summer, as this has been all consuming.   All our weekends, and after his full time work hours have been spent clearing.  This is thankless work, and it is hard work. Mentally, making the decisions, booking appointments, dealing with financial institutions, hours on hold with Bell Canada for a simple cancellation.  Organizing years of photos, collections, shredding old paperwork. Physically, it is demanding, moving furniture, carrying heavy boxes, cleaning repeatedly, and lifting heavy, cumbersome items.  Then addressing the emotional side as, one processes all the emotions that arise as you do it.    There is a cost to my health, and my husband’s health.  Thank God for PureBioenergy Healing Therapy.  We will take time to reset, refresh and renew ourselves.  My heart can empathize with the many caregivers who struggle looking after aging parents.

The moral of this story is take responsibility for your stuff – your physical stuff, your emotional stuff, your financial stuff.  Do it Now.  It is not an act of love to make your children bear the burden of you not taking responsibility and addressing that which needs to be done.  Let’s Clean up our act.   There are many ways in which less is more.

I am going through my own closet, as I do once or twice a year, asking myself what no longer fits my lifestyle?   Don’t let your stuff clutter up your space, your mind and your being.  Release it, let it go.   A few minutes a week, to sort the receipts, the accounts, and payments builds your confidence.  It feels empowering to know where your funds are going, and to see your savings growing.  A clean, organized home creates a calm, peaceful environment contributing to our well-being.

A poem by Judy

Life’s Journey

As you go along this journey of life,

Take a photo and travel light.

Keep the happy memory, release with Love, the sad.

You will find then, even the darkest days are not so bad.

Recount the laughter, the fun times, the Cheer

Let the irritations and disagreements disappear.

Keep your friendships current,

Keep your backpack light,

So you are always ready,

In a moment’s notice to go

And join the next adventure

Sans burden your trek to slow.

The stuff you can release it,

It only holds you back

And when it comes right down to it,

Its only faith we lack.

Spend your time with Loved ones

We all grow up too quick

Spend your coin on caring

Less the tax man takes his pick

Celebrate the moments,

Forgive and your will find,

This journey life provides for us

Is truly quite sublime. 

Blog Posts Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Just One Thing

In this day of instant media, constant information, increased speed of life’s expectations, it is easy to see how one can experience a feeling of being overwhelmed.    The feeling of having too much to do, and no time to do it in.  The feeling that no matter what I do, it isn’t enough. Many women have so many responsibilities, it is a wonder they can relax at all.  Yet relaxation is essential to renewing our minds, and our bodies.  Not to mention our spirit which is where our energy resides.   Your intuition or inner knowing needs to have quiet or calm so you can hear it.   Today, let’s look at some ways that we can “Be Still…” and connect to our heart, so our minds and bodies can function better.

What are the symptoms/effects of over-thinking? 

Have you ever felt like your thoughts are running in circles, but you’re too drained to take a single step forward? One thought leads to the next To Do on the list, and at the same time you may feel guilt or irritation that you are not further towards your goal.  Let’s not make our goal our gaol. Let’s just pause, breathe for a minute.

Overwhelm and overthinking often creep in quietly, but their symptoms are unmistakable. For women healing from emotional trauma, it can feel like your inner world is on high alert—even when everything on the outside seems quiet.

You might notice it in these subtle but powerful ways:

Common Symptoms of Overwhelm & Overthinking

  • Procrastination: Not because you’re lazy, but because your mind is overloaded, and you don’t know where to begin. Procrastination is a double-edged sword. We know we need to do something, we think about it a lot. The thinking about it, creates an upset or irritation yet it doesn’t move us close to task. The deadline may be looming and our avoidance is in full bloom.  Being told “just get’er done” isn’t helpful. Be kind. If you are feeling this don’t criticize yourself. Acknowledge it.
  • Irritation & Mood Swings: Your patience wears thin, and small things feel massive. Some days I ask myself, Dang, Why do I feel so bitchy? 
  • Worry & Racing Thoughts: Your mind constantly replays scenarios or “what ifs”, even when you’re trying to rest.
  • Insomnia or Restless Sleep: You lie in bed tired but wired, unable to shut off the mental noise. Our friendly hormones can keep our mind caught in a loop.  Less sleep equals more irritability.
  • Apathy or Numbness: You feel stuck, unmotivated, or emotionally disconnected from your goals and dreams. Just feel like “MEH”.

These aren’t just inconveniences. They’re signals from your body and nervous system asking for attention, care, and recalibration.

So What Can You Do When You Feel Overwhelmed?

The healing journey doesn’t require perfection or doing everything at once. It simply begins with one small, grounded step.

Here are gentle but powerful remedies to help move you from frozen to focused:

1. Just Do One Thing

Start with one simple task. Make your bed. Send that email. Drink a glass of water. When your brain feels scattered, completing just one thing helps shift you from chaos to clarity. It reminds your nervous system: You’re capable. You’re moving forward.  Make “Just One Thing” your mantra.

2. Make a ‘Need-to-Do’ List

Write it out. Not just in your head. Getting your thoughts on paper stops the mental loop. You release the pressure to remember everything and can begin to prioritize what truly matters.

Writing it out also let’s us figure out what is in our control. Often we worry about other people’s reactions to us, spiking our stress levels when we let other’s expectations live in our minds.  Worry takes away our peace.  Choose to protect your peace.

3. Analyze & Delegate

Look at your list and ask:

  • What must I do because it aligns with my values or goals?
  • What can I delegate, delay, or even delete?

This isn’t about doing more, it’s about doing what’s meaningful and letting go of the rest.

4. Use Your Strengths to Build Confidence

What comes naturally to you? Organization, creativity, empathy, listening? Tap into your strengths first, they’ll energize you. Every time you act from your strengths, you build momentum, clarity, and self-trust.   We all have been given gifts. When we use our gifts, we feel good, confident and happy. Remember when you delegate something to someone, you let them use their gifts too.  You are doing a service to another person. That action brings you a boost of “feel good” dopamine.  Do good because it’s good for you.

5. Act:  Do the Thing.   The congratulate yourself for Doing the Thing!   When you complete a task, especially one you’ve been avoiding, your brain releases dopamine, often called the “feel-good” or “motivation” hormone. It’s a chemical reward that makes you feel a sense of pleasure, accomplishment, and momentum.

Even small actions, like crossing something off your to-do list or cleaning a drawer, give your brain a dopamine hit. This is why the “Just Do One Thing” strategy works so well, it kickstarts the reward system in your brain and shifts you out of freeze mode.

Why Dopamine Matters:

Dopamine isn’t just about pleasure. It’s part of your brain’s reward system, a system designed to reinforce positive behavior. When you take action and feel good afterward, your brain learns something very important:

“Taking action helps me feel better.”

Each time this happens, your brain builds a new neural pathway, what we call a positive feedback loop or even “success circuitry.”

It Looks Like This:

  • Cue: You feel overwhelmed
  • Action: You do one small thing
  • Reward: Dopamine makes you feel good
  • Reinforcement: Your brain says, “Let’s do that again.”

Over time, this rewires the default pattern of procrastination and freeze into a new one of confidence, momentum, and inner trust.

Where PureBioenergy Healing Comes In

When your nervous system is dysregulated from trauma or emotional exhaustion, even small tasks can feel impossible. That’s why PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is such a powerful ally.

By calming the mind, restoring energetic balance, and releasing stored emotional tension, it creates the inner stillness and spaciousness required for clarity and aligned action. You no longer feel hijacked by racing thoughts or paralyzed by fear, you feel centered, capable, and connected to your intuition.

How PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Helps

When you’re overwhelmed, your mind can become a torrential storm, tossing and tormenting you. PureBioenergy Healing Therapy offers a deeply calming space for your nervous system to reset.

Here’s what it does :

  • Calms the racing mind without requiring you to relive past trauma.
  • Creates deep relaxation in both body and mind, allowing restorative rest.
  • Enhances focus and clarity, helping you get out of “fog brain”.
  • Restores your energetic balance, so you feel lighter, grounded, and more present.
  • Connects you to your intuition, making decision-making clearer and more confident.
  • Decreases or stops Pain, so your body can rest, renew, and restore.
  • Improves Sleep: Sleep is essential for healing.

You Are Not Lazy. You Are Healing.

Overwhelm and overthinking are not flaws. They are protective responses from a nervous system that’s been through too much for too long.

The good news? You don’t have to stay in that stuck place.

With simple tools, supportive community, and powerful energy healing, you can find your way back to focus, flow, and peace.

Your Next Step:

If you’re feeling scattered or shut down right now, start small.

✔️ Just do one thing.
✔️ Make your list.
✔️ Ask for help.
✔️ Book a PureBioenergy Healing Therapy session.

Rose and I understand because we have lived it. I don’t just teach this, I live it.  Reach out if you have questions or just want an understanding listener.  We are here to serve. Do Just One thing today to bring you some peace, joy and happiness.

You deserve a life that feels clear, calm, and deeply connected to you.

Blog Posts Healing Practices
Featured

Your Body Speaks, Are you Listening?

The Body Speaks, are you listening to it?

There is a non-verbal language that is occurring continuously within us. 

Our nervous system, our many hormones, our intuition, interact as a symphony flowing, moving, shifting as one response creates another. Intermingling with each other, one raises the tempo, the next lowers the volume all so that the human being remains in harmony.

The conductor for this musical journey is the life source itself. 

Every cell in your body is capable of memory and consciousness. Dr. Bernie Seigel tells us,“ Your dreams, symbols, drawings and feelings tell us this and now so does science. Transplant patients can tell information about the individual whose donor organs are within them.  So please pay attention to the messages from your body and heal whatever may be hurting you. And be aware of the information you are giving your body.  Please don’t let your ability to think, overcome your ability to feel. “

Let’s look at some of the instruments in our orchestra.  Remembering the instruments themselves do not make the music. It is the Self, the person, the human being playing the instrument. It’s the frequency, the life source that creates the harmony.

As the majority of the Baby Boomers are coming into their mature years, the topic of hormones especially in para-menopausal and menopausal women are getting a lot of press.

Let’s take a moment to remember that women are working in careers now for longer than other time in history.   The external stresses on a person do affect the internal hormonal reactions.

Most of us know the major chords of Estrogen, Progesterone, Human Growth Hormone.  Today let’s talk about some of the minor chords, Cortisol, Leptin, Renin, adiponectin.

Let’s start with the endocrine system.   The adrenal glands are workhorses in the body.  Not only do the adrenals produce cortisol, and adrenaline, but they also make the hormones that turn into female hormones, estrogen and progesterone and male hormones like testosterone.   Women need testosterone as it plays a substantial role in libido. Libido isn’t just the desire to have sex; it is tied into your mental well-being. Your drive, your ambition is tied into your hormonal balance.

  The adrenal gland produces important chemicals like adrenaline.  Adrenaline gives a body the energy to act quickly.  Adrenaline draws on the fat storage for energy during stressful situations. It is usually burned off quickly once the danger has pasted. It quickens the pulse, stops digestion, shuts down the sex organs, because the body needs to respond to the danger immediately. Once the danger is over, the adrenaline decreases and systems go back to normal.

  The adrenal gland gets the signal to make the chemicals or hormone from the pituitary gland.   It tells the adrenal gland to produce adrenaline and cortisol as it has perceived danger. 

When the perceived danger, or a continuous stress does not decrease, the body releases high levels of cortisone.  Unrelenting stress, like worries about finances, a job you hate, toxic relationships where you feel you must put on a smile, and stuff your feelings. A chronic illness or generally feeling overwhelmed with your life can cause lasting damage. Women who have been through traumatic situations, may carry a higher cortisone level, if they have not had the opportunity to heal their emotional, and mental concerns.  This shows up in the body.

Cortisol is a powerful ally.  It helps maintain blood pressure, temperature, controls inflammation – is often given for pain reduction.  It is active when we exercise excessively, works with the sleep/wake cycle.  Emotional and physical upsets cause the brain to trigger to produce more cortisol.    But when cortisol is excessive.   It can cause havoc.  Cortisol draws on muscle tissue for fuel. Prolonged stress can lead to muscle wasting, and high blood sugar simply because your body is struggling to adapt.  Neuropeptide Y is another stress hormone that controls eating habits. When released it decreases metabolic rate. This causes more belly fat storage and fuels cravings for sugary foods and carbohydrates. 

Cortisol also decreases metabolic rate by interfering with thyroid hormones.

Both NPY and Cortisol boost abdominal fat storage.

Cortisol depletes serotonin, the happy hormone . Serotonin is created in the gut.  It’s decrease also creates carbohydrate cravings.

Cortisol can cause blood sugar imbalances, resulting in hypoglycemia. – shaking, irritability, fatigue and headaches between meals. (Hangry)

Cortisol causes a person to eat more than needed, by stimulating appetite-boosting NPY and blocking appetite supressing leptin.

Since cortisol saps testosterone, it can cause a languishing libido, and other serious health risks.

Excess cortisol leads to sleep disruption, which can lead to high blood pressure, mental and emotional issues, muscle fatigue, and lack of focus, and decreased mental capacity. Wounds take longer to heal, proprioception is impaired, struggling with balance and dizziness can occur.

How do you know if your cortisone is out of whack?  Dr. Natasha Turner offers a checklist in her book The Hormone Diet.   A saliva test will give you a hormone profile. It can tell if cortisol is too low in the morning, and too high at night. High cortisol at bedtime contributes to chronic insomnia.    IF cortisol is low all the time as shown in the saliva testing, it is one indicator of adrenal burnout. In fact, a saliva hormone test will give your estrogen, estradiol, progesterone, melatonin, testosterone, adrenal and cortisol profile.  I believe it is well worth it to have your hormones tested,  so you have a base line. Many Naturopathic doctors and Functional Medicine doctors recommend the test for peri-menopausal, menopausal women or  when younger women are struggling with fertility concerns.

“ To be lean, strong, vibrant, mentally focused, emotionally stable. We must control our cortisol.” Dr. Natasha Turner, author of The Hormone Diet.

So how to you do that?

Here a few immediate ways you can start.

  1. Do an assessment of your life and identify what it is that is stressing you.  This sounds easy. It may be the daily commute, it may be an external pressure, like deadlines or a difficult boss, or other person of significance in your life.  It maybe a belief system that was handed down, or put upon you, that no longer serves you, if it ever did.  Grief and other unprocessed emotions.
  2. Pause, Breathe.  Do an inhale to the count of 4, hold it for a count of 4, exhale for 4, then hold before the inhale for a count of 4.   Wim Hoff offers many youtube videos on breathwork.  Watch one, try it and see how you feel.
  3. Eat to fuel your body, not just to fill it. Healing foods are made by God. They are natural, close to source, full of enzymes, nutrients and vitamins and minerals and are not manufactured and highly processed.   Think fresh organic apples, dates, crisp colourful veggies, berries,  beans, grass fed beef or pasture-raised chicken and wild-caught fish.  
    Eat green veggies.  Add a greens drink to your day because the minerals you will get will help to calm the fire that stress creates.  Sea veggies have iodine which our thyroid needs. A quarter to a half a lemon, squeezed in hot boiled water every morning is a great cleanser for your liver. It provides Vit C and helps clears up skin blemishes. Try it. Drink instead of a caffeinated beverage.
  4. Eat nuts, and seeds.  Brazil nuts are high in selenium; almonds provide magnesium which does over 60 functions for the body.  Walnuts for the brain. Sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds are high in zinc, and sesame seeds are a good source of calcium.  Fresh ground Flax seeds are an excellent source of fibre and can sweep out excess estrogen. Soluble fibre with lots of water helps to detoxify the gut, adding a probiotic creates and intestinal microflora that allows the beneficial bacteria to thrive. Remember our serotonin comes from the gut.
  5. Dark chocolate has antioxidants, magnesium, and enzymes. Sugar free.  Choose organic cacao when you can.
  6. Detoxify your cosmetic bag.  Lead found in lipsticks, sodium lareate  sulfate , sodium benzoate found in face cleansers, shampoos, etc are all endocrine distruptors.  Choose organic, natural cleansers, make up – lots of choice available.  Essential oils are great ways to improve your wellness, and lower stress.  Only lavender and teatree can be used neat. All others must be diluted in a carrier oil, like jojoba oil, sweet almond oil,  evening primrose oil. Consult an aromatherapists for ratios.
  7. Avoid inflammatory foods, like fast food, high-fructose corn syrup, chemical laden process foods, low-fat , and sugar-free  labelled foods all contain chemicals that mess up hormones.
  8.  Enjoy a warm to hot Epsom salt bath before bed.  The increase in body temperature encourages detoxification. Epsom salt, which is magnesium sulfate, soothes muscles, promotes relaxation.  As the body cools, a lower body temperature assists with better sleep.
  9. PureBioenergy Healing Therapy will balance hormones, improve sleep, reduce stress levels and balance our immune system.  It brings harmony to the whole person on all levels.
  10.  Get fresh air and exercise. The sun is essential to our hormones.  Vitamin D is a pre-cursor to every hormone in the body.  Exercise with a friend. It’s fun and we keep each other accountable as it is hard to sleep in or put it off until tomorrow  when we  have someone waiting for us.  Plus they encourage us to do that one more rep or walk the extra kilometre.  Yes, You Can Do it.

Here is a recipe from Dr. Natasha :   Lovely Lentil Soup

2 TBSPs extra-virgin olive oil

1 sweet potato , peeled and diced

1 large onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 tablespoon curry powder

1 inch piece of fresh ginger root, peeled and minced

1 tsp of cinnamon

1 cup of dry red lentils

4 cups of vegetable stock

2 tablespoons of tomato paste

Heat olive oil in a large sauce pan over medium heat. Add the sweet potato, onion, garlic, and ginger. Cook til vegetables are softened.

Stir in the curry powder, cinnamon, sea salt and cook for a few more minutes.

Add the lentils, vegetable stock, and tomato paste and mix well. Bring to a gentle boil, reduce heat and simmer covered for 30 minutes or until lentils are cooked.

Remove from heat and serve.   Share with someone you care about.

As you listen to your body, provide it with nutrients and loving care, notice what transpires in your life.   You are worth the time, and effort and the increase in energy, enthusiasm and vitality and strength will serve you long into your senior years.   

Navigating Life Changes
Featured

Stress, Distress, Eustress and You

As we go along this path called life, we may at some points find ourselves in situations, environments, relationships, or circumstances that we consider stressful.  These bumps along the road, which can, at times feel more like craters rather than just a pothole to avoid, impact us in many ways.    No human is immune to times of stress. Even Queen Elizabeth II had what she phrased as her “annus horribilis”.

”1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an annus horribilis”

 Stress is considered part of life.  But what exactly is stress?

Hans Selye, a pioneering endocrinologist, introduced the concept of “stress” in a medical context and developed the General Adaptation Syndrome model to describe the body’s response to stressors.

The physical, chemical, and biological responses in his theory of resistance or adaptation after an injury.  “Stress,” Selye insisted, “is essentially the rate of all the wear and tear caused by life.”1  Selye identified these stages as alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Understanding these different responses and how they relate to each other may help you cope with stress. The Alarm stage is the immediate response to an event, imagine being cut off while driving in heavy traffic, your heart rate and breathing increase, you may swear, and feel tense. Once the danger passes your heart rate , breathing return to normal.  The fight-or-flight or freeze response that occurs in the alarm stage is for your protection. A higher hormone level of cortisone, or adrenaline is for your benefit. It provides you with energy and improves your concentration so you can focus and tackle the situation. When stress is short-term or short-lived, the alarm stage isn’t harmful.

Some stressful situations, like going through a divorce, or a high stress job continue for extended periods of time. If the stress is not resolved, your body remains on high alert, it eventually adapts and learns how to live with a higher stress level. In this stage, the body goes through changes that you may not be conscious of to cope with stress.

Your body continues to secrete the stress hormones and your blood pressure remains elevated. You may think you’re managing stress well, but your body’s physical response tells a different story. If the resistance stage continues for too long without the break needed to reset, restore and recover to offset the effects of stress, this can lead to the exhaustion stage.  Resistance stage includes irritability, frustration and poor concentration. Sleep is interrupted, not as deep, and does not get to the necessary stage of cell renewal.

The exhaustion stage is the result of prolonged, chronic stress.  Exhaustion stage happens when your physical, emotional and mental resources are drained to the point where you can no longer have the strength to fight stress. A little event may be what breaks the proverbial camels back.  Hopelessness, fatigue, burnout, depression and anxiety are indicators, of this stage.  Decreased stressed tolerance and decreased immunity also factor in.   The physical effects put you at risk for stress-related illness.

  When does stress become a problem?  What can we do to counter the effects of stress?

​  The specific ranking of life events by stress level, known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), was developed by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967. This scale assigns Life Change Units (LCUs) to various life events to quantify their stress impact. The top 10 stress-inducing life events according to the SRRS are:​

  1. Death of a spouse – 100 LCUs​
  2. Divorce – 73 LCUs​
  3. Marital separation – 65 LCUs​
  4. Imprisonment – 63 LCUs​
  5. Death of a close family member – 63 LCUs​
  6. Personal injury or illness – 53 LCUs​
  7. Marriage – 50 LCUs​
  8. Dismissal from work – 47 LCUs​
  9. Marital reconciliation – 45 LCUs​
  10. Retirement – 45 LCUs​

These events are considered significant stressors that may increase the risk of health issues. It’s important to note that individual responses to these events can vary, and personal coping mechanisms play a crucial role in managing stress. ​ Remember, this prognosis may not be true in all cases for all people. It depends on the individual. The belief system they have, the support they have, and the coping mechanisms they employ.  A marriage is happy occasion so why would it be on the list? A marriage brings with it change. Change is not a bad thing and is often a necessary requirement to advancement and growth. It is how we perceive change that creates either a resistance or enhancement response in us.  A wedding can be stressful due to the perceived obligations, we put upon ourselves. It can also be a joyous celebration of the love we share.  Eustress is a positive stress. It is performance enhancing, often a short-term experience where one has perceived control, and it improves well-being. Imagine studying for a big exam, or interview, excelling at it, and the confidence, joy and courage you receive because of your efforts.  The impetus, the push either from yourself or a coach, parent, mentor, advisor, trainer is needed to get you to do the work required to reach your full potential.  That is one of the reasons for deadlines.  Humans are motivated by either the pleasure of reward, or by the avoidance of the pain, disappointment, or penalty or embarrassment of not doing the ‘thing’.  The whole income tax system in this country is precipitated by this principle.  How many people find doing their tax return to be stressful?   It is the reward at the end of a challenge that we focus on.  This is true of so many projects, endeavors, goals we set. There may well be frustrations along the path to the goal.  Focus on the result. Jeff Kranos tell us that “Acute short-term stress in the human body confers a health benefit and activates pathways that promote longevity and resilience.”  Good Stress. To build muscle, the muscle fibres need to be worked beyond their current capacity. Then rest is required, nutrition to fuel the growth of the muscle before the muscle is ready to be worked again.  Good Stress.

 Distress on the other hand, decreases performance. It can come with emotional, physical, and mental symptoms including but not limited to, back pain, headaches, digestive issues, irritability, emotional outburst of anger, tears, sadness,  apathy, lack of self-care, vision issues, sleep disturbances, mood swings, and brain fog or lack of focus or feelings of overwhelm.  If we stay in Distress for too long, it can lead to more serious issues like depression, high blood pressure, adrenal, hormonal and heart concerns. Distress can lead to dis ease.  Distress doesn’t allow for the rest and recovery period.  Our minds, bodies and emotions need to have a rest period to renew, restore and grow.

The Good News is:  You have the keys to change the outcome.  Our beautiful brains have plasticity. Most our bodies cells renew daily. Your biofield contains the energy of life.  It gives you the energy to live well. Bioenergy, the energy of life, provides us with the energy, needed to live. When the bioenergy is gone, the body is life-less.  Bio means life.   So be good to your biofield. “The body is an energy system in constant energetic interaction with its environment.”  “Healing happens on a non-conscious level through a transformation of the way you think and act.” Z. Hochstatter.  Our thoughts create.  It is essential to watch your thoughts.

Here is a list of practical things you can do starting today to help balance your stress levels.

1: Identify whether you are stressed. Just because something is happening outside of you, does not mean you need to stress about it.  You can choose whether you want it to concern you or not.  2: Identify your stressor. Is it a physical environment, work environment,  personal relationship, your self-image? Are your thoughts destructive to your peace of mind?   Are you at battle with your values?

 3: Identify the reason for stressor. Can you change your location if it is too noisy, or the temperature is irritating?  Is it an internal or external stressor?  Are there steps you can take to change?  Now make a plan.  

 4: Identify and apply an appropriate stress management strategy.  You can make changes to how you are living. Sit down and write a list of what is bothering you.  Leave space to write in the answers/solutions to the concerns.  Make another list of how you would like your life to be.  Be specific.

Ask yourself what habits are detrimental to your well-being?  What are you doing to bring joy into your daily life?  Can you speak with a trusted friend, counsellor or therapist?

 DO some physical activity, preferably outside!  Walking for 25 minutes a day has been proven to lower blood pressure and improve the metabolic rate.  Look at your diet. Sugar is a killer. Sugar feeds cancer and disrupts hormones.  (  I like cake on special occasions too.  A delicious chocolate cake brings me joy. One of the things that make it special is that it is a special occasional treat, not a staple food:} I bless it and eat it.

Every month Rose and I offer a PureBioenergy Healing Therapy for Stress Reduction. We know that stress causes 80% or more of all illnesses. “The energy we work with is informed. It is creative. This means it has the power to create or recreate the well-being of the person. When this happens, it happens on all levels. It happens on the physical level, emotional level, mental level and spiritual level. “We don’t address the illness, we address the health.” Zoran Hochstatter – 3 Chairs.  Sign up for and attend the 4 day PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online.    Experience the change that happens when you start to be healthy, happy and joyful.  Private PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is available in person or by distance for specific issues or ailments as well. You can reach me at purebioenergy4life@gmail.com to set up an appointment.   The reason we offer a monthly PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online is that it provides a consistent method to balance stress so  you do not get to the exhaustive stage.  Here is the link to be put on the mailing list for our monthly healing events.

2024 was a highly stressful year for me, and my family.  I give credit to God, prayer and PureBioenergy Healing Therapy which I asked for, paid for, and received the many benefits of mental, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am grateful for the friends that checked in, walked with me, and made me laugh along the way.  Stress can make us a stronger, resilient compassionate person.  We manage stress, so it does not control us.