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Wounded Women Rising

A Wounded Women's Way to Wisdom

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New Year 2023 Horoscope

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Our dear friend Norah Nasturas has graciously provided us with the New Year 2023 Horoscope and a Personal Horoscope for January 2023. I admit it. I do not understand a lot of the fine details of astrology. I do however, enjoy reading what astrologers have to say. If you would like to contact Norah, her contact information is at the end of this post.

Judy and I pray that 2023 is full of precious moments and a lot of AHA moments. 🙂

Ascendent Virgo = Ruler Mercury

Middle Heaven Gemini = Mercury

Mercury 28 degrees Sag in relation with Neptune 28 degrees Aquarius; Mercury Ruler of the year, movement, communications, talking, but at least for the first half no actions, the news about everything are in relation with illusions and manipulation, don’t listen too much to media: The TV or others information.

Mercury in Sagittarius, confusion but positive, more in relation with the Universal values. At the Same time, Lot of changes are coming in relation with information and new discovering,

Mercury Moon in the same element, the intuition is working together with the knowledge what give fast advancement in new things to do better life for people, working in the same direction, in the action.

Lot of people are having problems to adapt to the changes, thinking doctors/medicine can give solutions. And lot of problem with drugs. Drugs are not a solution. The solution is to help people to adapt to the changes, the changes happening in this last 2-3 years are irreversible, we are going to a different society, with different values, behaviors, educations, and spirituality.

Day Saturday = ruler Saturn, the first part of the year will be a new organization, and slow improvement, Saturn is moving to Aquarius, in direction Neptune, for 2 years ½ we will keep in the illusions, Middle 2025 we will know about what really happens in this period post covid. We will see the truth and understand.

Hour Sun = ruler Sun, positive year. Government will be improving too, take more action in relation with children, art and creativity (small businesses)

Venus = economy in Capricorn, slow improvement, will take 2 years to be ok.

Jupiter in Pisces, Jupiter is the protection we all have. In April 2023 Jupiter will move to Aries.

Lots of changes this spring in relation with Jupiter signification as Legal, Foreign, immigration, universities, learning, languages etc etc

Pluto in Capricorn = house prices are going to become normal.

Finally, Venus in Capricorn the first days of 2023 will be another change in the interest rate, in relation with the past actions of the country, the economy, the other countries, with Pluto will be another organization of the money for the country, The people, the business, in relation with priorities.

The moon in Aries is going to take us to the future, more importance for the women, the collective, the people, rapid changes. Lot of action taken by women, looking to past, change the meaning to be a woman, going out of the 2 nd category. As in women will be MORE PROMINENT.

Women fighting for family and children, with the Node north of the moon Rahu (karma), will change the future.

Mars in Taurus, all the activity for the country and people is ruled by Venus, taurus sign, the aggressivity of people will be coming down to most diplomatic behavior, the aggressivity/action of Mars will be transformed in diplomacy, Venus in Capricorn is in relation with the development of how the food is cultivated. Wall cultivation like Vertical Greenhouses.

Venus money = restriction, economy, creativity in 5 th house. Gambling, Complete change in the idea of money, from the past, the Money becomes an abstract idea, Property prices will be real, at the moment is completely an illusion, part of the Gambling situation.

People will start to Focus in new ways. The changes will be in projects, they will be reality in relation to Mars and will happen after the summer 2023.

The Node North of the Moon in 8 th house, People, women are asking for change, social benefits need to be updated, following the Changes in our society,

The 6th house, everything will be changed in relation with work, servants, pets, and very confused; in Aquarius with Neptune inside.

The 6th house in Aquarius, Health, Advance in the more natural ways to take care of the body at the same time that traditional Medicine, Aquarius is the sign of Freedom, Democracy, People. The governments need to find a solution in relation with the health problems and the health system, not only in Canada, will be probable that soon or later, we will have 2 systems in relation with health, the public and the private or will be more clear we have this 2 systems already??

January 2023 Horoscopes

Aries – Lot of changes especially in relation to the discovery about yourself. Who. Who I am and what I really want. A deep analysis of my past, a new cycle is starting with new ideas, values, optimism, thinking to a new start, trying to improving your life, health, organization,doing correction everything that is negative.

Taurus- the reality is here, and you need to face. You know is lot of work to do it and pain (Mars in taurus) but I am sure is going to be better, the shake-up (bad events) is passed, but you are not clear yet, Neptune in the 10 th House, fighti with illusions, the good thing is you have lot of people around, unknown new people and friends. Stay positive, little by little life is getting better.

Gemini- Good time to ask for a Credit or talk with the bank or ask for a raise. Routine becomes easier, we find solutions in relation with responsibilities or commitments, we have more organization, not too many changes and you realize that you are independent and strong and you find very good solutions to this difficult time you had the last 2-3 years. You are doing well.

Cancer- Surprises and changes at the work front, big jumps! Don’t forget the spiritual part in your life, enjoy the Result you are having after the hard work you did. Accept the gift coming from outside of your life, don’t be scared to be happy and don’t be hard on yourself.

Leo – don’t take risks, you don’t have the support you think. Your past relationships (co-workers, family, etc) and past actions are asking for solution, don’t fight, and Use diplomacy. Be very careful with investments or in relation with money, you will be losing lot of money if you don’t change your values, your behavior, try to be more in the reality than illusions, especially after spring 2023.

Virgo – You have the possibility this year to start a new life, with different way of thinking, try to make the necessary changes in your routine before the spring. You have the possibility to improve your career, using the knowledge you have about the Natural and Universal Values. The old teachers give you the knowledge you need to pass to new generations.

Libra – you are ok at this time, but your life is going to change in Spring, Lot of planets are going

to move and the same will be for different areas of your life. Take care of your health, you can do it now, don’t wait. Don’t worry about your career, you are now in the high possible place. Be careful after the spring the problems will start, especially Health.

Scorpio- Mars in Taurus, finally you will be in relation with your career in the high place you must be, Creativity, love, children Is ok but try to organize your future. Relationships are going to change, more work but different subjects with a change in the direction of your work, you attract people currently. Careful with your digestion.

Sagittarius – Good time for spirituality and travels, work and career is going to expand after the spring, more organization, friends coming from past (or past lives) future is open, put your engine to work, is a good year for you, little low in finances, be careful where you spend. You will have improvement in finances after the middle of the year.

Capricorn – Finally is finish these 3 years break in your life. Start to move again, start to live, put yourself in action is lot of opportunities there outside. Be smart, do it now; after spring will be much more difficult for you to find the NEW way. New friends are coming, old friends are going. Change your mind about you and the exterior, good for spirituality.

Aquarius – Become more interested in Nature, Natural healing, invest in yourself before March in new ways, find your happiness now, what you really would like to do. Don’t follow most people. Air is your element. The space is open waiting for you, all the possibilities are open for you Your health is improving lots. Don’t take drugs. Water is good for you, help to think. Go for swimming.

Pisces – Now your life is quiet, but Jupiter is leaving Pisces in March/April; time for a trip? Going to your roots, analyse your life and see what necessary change you need to do, try to come back to spirituality, you worry too much about money, but there are other things more Important in life, this year, you are going to find what is missing in your life. Control your health and your weight.

Effective January 1st 2023

Horary Chart (a question) $ 60.00 (approx. 15 min)

Chart Reading $ 180.00 (approx. 1 hour)

Esoteric, Karma, Spiritual Chart $ 275.00 (approx. 1 hour)

For appointments or information

Email: [email protected]

Text only: 519 497 6517 No phone calls

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Ask for Help

As we come to the close of the year, and the change to a new season, let’s pause and consider some elements we can incorporate to make the next year of our lives better.

Stress, as Rose shared in the last post affects all of us.  When kept in check, it can be a great motivator. A deadline is a good thing. Without a deadline or a finish by date, many projects may go uncompleted.

Here in the Northern Hemisphere the seasons also motivate us to get things completed.  When working with nature, spring is the time to plant.  Summer sunshine creates the growth, and fall is the time to harvest the crop. As winter approaches, we prepare for the cold temperatures and barren earth, a time to rest.

Traditionally the Christmas Season consisted of Advent, the 4 weeks of spiritual and physical preparation, for Christmas Day and the 12 days til January 6th.  Bringing light into the home with Christmas lights during the darkest time of the year is lovely and can be one of the nicest elements of Christmas.  Putting up the Christmas lights and seeing them glow into to the night is truly a delight. It was highly ranked on our recent poll.

The food planning, cooking, baking, cleaning, and decorating is fun, albeit time consuming. The bulk of the preparation of shopping, gift wrapping, card writing, meal planning, cookie making, cleaning, decorating, party planning still falls primarily to the women of the home. The bustle of it can be fun and invigorating. Keeping the balance of it all from toppling us like a Jenga tower is the trick.

Christmas decorations in stores and that commercial push to purchase starts in October. Even our email in box is subject to ads.  This can exert pressure on us. Sometimes by the time December 25th arrives, the feeling of overwhelm is so big the joy gets squashed like the sweet potatoes.  When we add in crowded grocery stores, unstable weather, unstable personalities, and over-sugared, tired tiny tots, it is easy to understand how some people can feel more like the Grinch, than little Cindy Lou Who. (Fah-who foris, dah-who doris, Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day)

As we gather together with family and friends to celebrate, laugh, and love the time we share, here are a few timely tips to make the season bright.

One way to offset that feeling of overwhelm is to focus only on what matters to you. Make a list. A list of what matters to YOU. Write your list, check it twice. Sharing with a friend is nice.

Choose what items matter most to you.   If baking is not your passion, buy the cookies or pies.

ASK FOR HELP  

Remember that friend? A task becomes a pleasure when shared with a friend.

Be specific in your ask.  Remember the line, “ask and you will receive”?  

In order to receive what will be most beneficial to you, be very specific. (Think the children’s letter to Santa… they know exactly what they want, emulate that enthusiasm). Never assume anyone can read your mind. Clearly and precisely ask for what you need.

Ask your son -in- law to help with the dishes.  Ask your daughters to bring desserts or salads or both.

Delegate before the guests arrive so the family knows their roles. Kids take pride in taking coats and offering beverages.  Give age-appropriate jobs to the little ones. It gives them confidence, pride and encourages responsibility. Be sure to thank them for their contribution to making the day special and tell them you are proud of them.

Shopping:  If you hate shopping, pass the mantel to the one who loves to shop.  Most teenage girls really like being at the mall.  Volunteer hours are a part of the high school curriculum so ask a volunteer to help you with this task.  Got a tech-savvy 20-year-old?  They know Amazon like the back of their hand.

Remember that part of the fun of finding the perfect gift can be an after Christmas outing with your loved ones. Do an activity together. Rose likes to take her family skiing. I like hiking in the woods. Seeing the light festival in neighbouring towns that are on ‘til January is a fun night out.  Taking your grandkids for an afternoon can be the nicest gift for their mom so she gets a nap, or a chance to read that book.  These are low cost, but high value gift ideas that will be remembered for years.

Snow shoveling of sidewalks and driveways can also be volunteer hour credits. Of course, you can pay the kids a small gratuity.

Ask your creative child, friend, or spouse, to help you with the wrapping. Put some music on, pour your beverage of choice, clear the counter or the floor and cut, wrap, ribbon, bow and bag your presents with abandon.   

If you are out and need help with parcels, packages, groceries ask the clerk for help. A recent back injury prevented me from lifting heavy items. I was pleasantly surprised with the enthusiasm I received from staff at a local store to carry my parcels to my car. He was happy to be asked.

Giving someone the opportunity to do something kind, increases that person’s dopamine. Dopamine is one of our feel-good hormones.  It counter acts cortisol a stress hormone. Witnessing an act of kindness improves a person’s immunity by 20 percent. (Holt School of Natural Healing Reflexology Manual).

Plan to give yourself time for you. It can be the greatest gift you give to your family.

  • A warm bath.
  • Time to do your nails.
  • A walk outside before the people arrive.
  • Pet the dog or caress the cat.  
  • Pause.
  • Let the joy of the reason for the Season fill you.
  • Breath in. Hold it. Exhale.  Reset your body rhythm. 

Our expectation of perfection is an illusion.  Have fun.  If something breaks, laugh it off.  If all else fails, put on the Grinch and dance.  Moving our bodies is a great way to shift stress out and happiness in.

Maybe Christmas he thought, doesn’t come from a store, Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more. May the love of Christmas on this Holy Night, fill your heart and home with God’s pure light.

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Stress Management

Oh My Gosh. Yes, we are going to talk about stress management. And not just because the holidays are upon us. Stress management is something we want to be doing all the time. Stress hormones like cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine are necessary to our fight and flight response. When the stress hormones are in overdrive, they can wreak havoc in the body. Symptoms of elevated stress hormones can include any of the following:

  • Fatigue,
  • Irritability,
  • Headaches,
  • Intestinal problems, such as constipation, bloating or diarrhea,
  • Anxiety or depression,
  • Weight gain,
  • Increased blood pressure,
  • Low libido, problems with regular ovulation or menstrual periods, inability to orgasm,
  • Difficulty recovering from exercise,
  • Poor sleep,
  • Muscle pain or tension in the head, neck, jaw, or back,
  • Lack of focus and inability to make decisions.

None of this sounds like something I want to engage in. However, I have and still dance with a few from time to time. Even though stress is part of the human condition you do not have to keep it living under your roof indefinitely. Think of stress as that family member or friend who does not know when to leave. Eventually you have to do something.

We can manage our stress. There are high stress situations in life such as job loss, death in the family, divorce, trauma, giving birth, renovations, or illness. Situations such as these introduce feelings of depression or anxiety. These are normal – for a while.  The trick is to recognize when you are stressed and choose to do something about it.

When we are in crisis situations managing stress is not what is on your mind. Survival is. It would tick me off, supremely, when well meaning people would tell me I needed to manage my stress when I was trying to survive a trauma. Stress management will come once the crisis has passed. And yes, the crisis will pass. That is a topic for another post.

We have all gone through crisis situations. We all know the feelings of panic, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, extreme anxiety, and looking for a way out. These are the fight, fright or freeze responses to impending danger, whether perceived or real. After the threat has passed the stress hormones should calm down. But what if you are surviving a situation that is in constant crisis, such as physical abuse or mental torment. You are constantly on alert. These symptoms become your normal. We stop recognizing the symptoms because we are so accustomed. These symptoms are also wreaking havoc on your body and mind.  There is no way you can “manage” stress in situations like this. All you do is survive moment by moment. There is, however, a way you can release some of the stress.

When you are alone, the simplest coping mechanism is breathing; measured, deep breathing. If you can count and take a slow deep breath you can do this.

  • Take one deep cleansing breath, in and out.
  • Now, breathe in slowly to a count of six.
  • Pause to the count of three.
  • Exhale slowly to the count of six.
  • Pause to the count of three.
  • Repeat

Repeat until you have stopped shaking or you feel the tension release from your shoulders. I used to do this when the kids and I sequestered ourselves in one of their bedrooms when he was on a rampage. Together we would breathe. Then we would wait until he passed out. Often times the children would fall asleep in my arms. At the time I did not know this was a stress management tool. I was just getting a grip. The breathing would calm the children down quite quickly. It took me a lot longer to calm down, but calmness came over me every time. Breathing does not take the threat away. Breathing calms you down so you can think. It is our prayer that you have the courage to exit a situation like this. There are organizations to help you. Judy and I have used these organizations. Be prepared and find these places in advance of when you need them. I found it difficult to think during a crisis and learned to be prepared in advance. Having the information ready also helps to reduce your stress in the moment. You have a plan.

For those of us who have lived way too long with stress as a back seat driver we have some tips to help you get a firm grip on your stress. Choose one of these management techniques to get started. You do not have to do everything. If you hate exercise do not use it as a stress management tool. It will just stress you out more. Do something that rings true for you.

Exercise

So yes, I’ll get the “exercise” tool out of the way. Any exercise is good. I like walking and find that walking allows me to turn down the stress. Find a form of exercise that you like such as running, swimming, dancing, biking, or aerobics. You do not have to spend lots of money on exercise equipment or any at all. There are so many exercise routines that you can access on YouTube. Running requires a pair of running shoes. Dancing can be done in your living room or when you are cleaning. Turn up the tunes! Music itself calms the beast and shifts our mood.

Exercise helps lift your mood. This is because it stimulates your body to release a number of hormones like endorphins and endocannabinoids. When you exercise you tend to feel less anxious and more positive about yourself. When your body feels good, your mind often follows.

Did you know that exercise can reduce pain? It appears counter intuitive doesn’t it. It works. Movement gets fluid and those feel-good hormones moving around your body. Pain is blocked. That is why physiotherapy works. Physiotherapy gets body parts moving and pain is released. In every book I have read about specific areas of pain the prescription is movement before drugs.

Physical activity improves sleep. Better sleep means better stress management. Sleep renews the brain and body. Take care not to exercise too close to bedtime. Exercise too close to bedtime can disturb sleep for some people.

If you don’t have the time or energy for a formal exercise program, you can still find ways to move during the course of the day.

  • Bike or walk to the store instead of driving.
  • Use the stairs instead of the elevator.
  • Park as far as you can from the door.
  • Hand-wash your car.
  • Clean your house.
  • Walk on your lunch break.
  • Do cat stretches while on the couch. Have you ever watched a cat stretch. Mimic those movements. If you have never watched a cat stretch, check out this video. Modify the stretches to suit you.

Food – Your Nourishment.

UGH! Really? Yes – really. Your nourishment is vital to managing stress. We have all experienced stress eating. Sweets, cookies, cakes, chips, anything that temporarily satisfies the emotional state. Have you noticed that you usually beat yourself up after indulging in emotional eating? And you feel like crap. I was in a support group, and we talked a lot about emotional eating. Not one woman in the group felt good after a binge. We are bound to have binges. That is okay – on occasion. Be kind to yourself and vow to try harder and be prepared with a different strategy next time.

One of the benefits of eating healthy foods is your mental health. A healthy diet builds up your immune system, levels your mood, and lowers your blood pressure. Eat your vegetables. Vegetables should be half your plate. Protein, grains and complex carbohydrates fill the rest.

Antioxidants protect your cells from the damages of chronic stress.  You can find antioxidants in a huge variety of foods like beans, fruits, berries, vegetables, and spices such as ginger and tumeric.

Sticking to a healthy lifestyle is easier with a few simple tips.

  • Make and stick to a shopping list.
  • Do not shop hungry.
  • Carry healthy snacks and water with you when you leave the house.
  • Stay away from processed foods as much as possible.
  • Be mindful when eating.

There are supplements available that can decrease the effects of stress on the body and mind. Be sure to get enough vitamin C, magnesium, and Omega 3 fatty acids as part of a balanced diet. Omega 3 is found in wild fishes such as salmon, sardine, mackerel and herring.  Vitamin C can be found in cherries, grapefruit, oranges, moringa powder (put it in a smoothie). Magnesium is found in your leafy greens and cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, brussel sprouts, cauliflower).  

Let feed be your medicine and medicine be your food. Hippocrates

Sleep

Do you struggle to fall asleep? This is a common side effect of stress. Insomnia is the inability to fall and stay asleep at least 3 times a week for at least 3 months. Lack of sleep can also add to your stress level and cause a cycle of stress and sleeplessness. It is a vicious cycle. So how do you get to sleep? Sleep habits. Sleep habits involve your daily routine and the way you set up your bedroom.  Sleep habits include:

  • getting outside even if the sun is not shining. I have a friend that says there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.
  • Exercise of some kind.
  • Drink less alcohol.
  • Drink caffeinated beverages before 2 pm.
  • Set a sleep schedule. You know – just like you had for children. Try having the same bedtime every night. Set your alarm for the same time every morning. That includes weekends. Try this for one month.
  • No electronics or television for 30 minutes before bed. If you like to read use an old-fashioned book. This is only for one month. It is not a life sentence.
  • Try meditation or other forms of relaxation at bedtime.

How do you set up your bedroom as part of good sleep habits? Your room should be dark. Black out curtains are a good idea. Keep your bedroom cool and as quiet as possible. When it is time for bed keep your phone outside of the bedroom. You can keep it in your ensuite bathroom. Just keep it out of your bedroom. The farther away the better. And turn it off. There are exceptions to keeping your phone turned on. Those are exceptions. Not the rule. Your bed should be supportive, have plenty of space and be comfortable. Pillows should support your neck. The material you sleep on is important. Natural fiber sheets are better for the body.

Connect with people. 

Spend time with a friend or family member who will listen to you. If you think you have exhausted people who will listen to you and can afford a therapist go to a therapist. Talking out your anxieties is a natural way to soothe you and reduce your stress. Better results can be obtained when you walk and talk. Connecting with people in person releases a hormone that breaks your fight-or-flight-or-freeze reaction. You enter a state of relaxation. Hugs help too.

Behavior. 

The manner in which you respond to people directly affects your stress levels. You can manage your response to people by:

  • Not overcommitting yourself (I still struggle with this one, but I am getting better.)
  • Share responsibility. You are not responsible for everyone nor everything.
  • Adopt the phrase, “I will think about that.”
  • Walk away from a heated situation or step back.

The voice inside your head. 

Nothing affects your stress levels like the voice inside your head. Realize that you can control your inner voice. You can swap negative thoughts for positive ones. The benefits of positive self-talk are:

  • stress reduction,
  • a longer life,
  • lower levels of depression,
  • greater resistance to the common cold,
  • reduced cardiovascular disease and
  • better coping skills.

Laughter

Laughing is good for the soul. You take in more oxygen when you laugh. Your body releases the feel-good hormones. Your heart and lungs get a boost. Your muscles even get a wee workout. Laughter improves your immune system, lessens pain, and improves your mood for long periods time. Get together with those girlfriends and get laughing. Even a good comedy movie can lift your mood.

There are so many ways to manage your stress. This is only a few suggestions to get you moving in the right direction. A few others are Epsom salt baths, drink water, and be creative.

Feel free to share your favourite stress management techniques. We and our community would love to hear them.

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What Is the Truth?

Truth. There is a lot of talk around the word truth. Pontius Pilot asked Jesus, “What is truth?” We want everyone around us to tell us the truth even though we often do not want to hear the truth. Truth can hurt. We do everything we can to avoid hurt. Truth can also set us free. Truth can release the bonds of deceit, even release us from the lies we tell ourselves. You can handle the truth. We can handle the truth because the truth set us free. We are strong enough and courageous to look at the lies, turn them around and seek out the truth.

As much as we tell ourselves lies, we also tell ourselves truths. Can you imagine how different life would be if you decided to live being truthful to yourself?

Your body is your truth detector. You feel lies and truth in your body. The truth will bring you to a place of peace. A lie creates discord, and conflict. In your body a lie looks like an upset stomach. Your throat may be tight urging you to cough or clear your throat. You may experience back pain. Your blood pressure is elevated. Adrenaline pumps through your body.

When one engages in deceit, your respiratory and heart rate increases. You sweat, your mouth goes dry, and your voice can shake. Some of these physiological effects form the basis of the classic lie-detector (polygraph) test. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/pleased-meet-me/202001/the-truth-about-lying-and-what-it-does-the-body

When you lie your body is suffering. When you lie your brain gets overwhelmed and your cortisol level increases. Cortisol creates inflammation. Your memory goes into overdrive trying to remember the lie or the truth. Lying is detrimental to your health according to Arthur Markman Ph.D. Dr. Markman says, “The very second that lie leaves your lips your body releases cortisol into your brain. Just a few minutes later your memory goes into overdrive trying to remember both the lie and the truth. Decision making becomes more difficult and you could even project your discomfort as anger. This is all in the first 10 minutes.”

“The coherence between the heart and the brain brings alignment and decreases stress. Living a lie breaks the alignment. Living the truth strengthens the alignment.” www.heartmath.org

Notre Dame did a research project looking into lying. The study involved 110 volunteers. Half the volunteers agreed to stop lying and the other half received no instruction. At the end of 10 weeks the group that lied less often had 54% fewer mental complaints (like stress or anxiety) and 56% few physical health issues (like headaches or digestive issues). US News, How Lying Affects Your Health.

The jury is in. Lying affects your health. That includes lying to yourself. So, would you agree that lying to yourself needs to change?

Turn off your analytical brain. Converge with your body. When you engage in your head you neglect your emotions and the feelings in your body. Emotions provide a shortcut to your truth. You will feel the truth in your body. You will have a deep sense of peace and your mind will be clear when you begin living life being true to yourself. You will feel a sense of love, a sense of joy. You will be more patient. You will act out of kindness more often. You will have a soulful sense of goodness.

We have one exercise for you to try. This exercise does not take a long time. If you find the exercise difficult to do, be willing to try again later in the day or tomorrow. Keep trying until you become comfortable with this exercise. Have a pen and notebook with you to write down the revelations. If you are not into journaling use the voice recorder on your phone.

The Heart Intention Exercise

Sit or lie down. Get relaxed. If you are tired sitting may be better than laying down. Take a few deep breaths. Make sure your face is soft and your shoulders are away from your ears. Close your eyes. Envision one of your favourite places. It may be by the lake. It may be in the mountains. It may be on a beach. Breathe deep. Take in the surroundings. Smell the air. Hear the sounds. Take the time to go to a still quiet place and listen. Pay attention to your body. Let everything fall away from your consciousness. (This is where I usually fall asleep. 😴) Resist the urge to sleep. Keep in mind that your heart will always tell you the truth. If you have someone with you, they can ask you the following questions. If you are alone, ask them to yourself aloud.

Ask a few questions and wait for the answers.

What is my truth?

What would you have me do?

What would you have me say?

Where am I to go?

Listen.

If you have a belief in God, ask God to reveal His truth about you to you. I asked this question in 2019. I still stand amazed at how He revealed His truth about me to me throughout that year.

The truth is your heart is 60,000 times more powerful than your brain. Attend to your heart. What is your hearts desire? Put your hands on your heart and listen.

The truth is you are loveable.

The truth is whatever you set your mind to; you can achieve.

The truth is you are becoming the woman you are designed to be.

The truth is you are beautiful.

The truth is you are enough just as you are.

The truth is you are intelligent.

The truth is you are of sound mind and body.

The truth is you have a spirit of power and love.

The truth is you are not alone.

The truth is your past is forgivable.

The truth is your emotions matter, especially to you.

The truth is you deserve all the good coming your way.

The truth is there is someone out there that understands.

The truth is what happened yesterday does not need to happen tomorrow.

The truth is you CAN change your life. Change your thoughts, change your life.

The truth is mistakes are opportunities to learn.

The truth is you are responsible for your actions, no one else’s actions.

The truth is we are a community. We are meant for community. Please feel free to say what you feel inside this community.

When you listen to your heart you establish a new baseline to improve your health and emotional experience. Listening to the truth in your heart builds deeper intuition and internal guidance, a new sense of clarity. As you live your truth, feelings of love and compassion create a cascade of positive effects throughout the body such as clear thinking, emotional stability, and better choices. Living your truth creates balance and cooperation instead of competition and stress. https://www.heartmath.org/science/

Every day for the month of December, Rose and Judy are going to do the Heart Intention Exercise. We know we are creating positive change for how we will go into 2023. We invite you to join us on this excursion.

Take 10 minutes to do this Heart Intention Exercise. Feel your life improve as you create coherence.

Share your experience.

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Why Do We Believe the Lies We Tell Ourselves?

In my last blog post, The Lies I Tell Myself I touched briefly on why I believe the lies I tell myself. In this post I will go into a bit more depth. My hopes and prayers are that you will recognize one reason you believe a lie. When you become aware of why you believe lies you can counter them with a new truth and improve the language you use with yourself. Let’s get to it. I will start with the why’s I had in the last blog post.

We do not like something about ourselves (or our situation) and we try to cover it up with a lie. I purposefully wrote “try” because deep down we know the truth and the truth is hard to swallow. A lie preserves my sense of self.

We lie to ourselves because it is comfortable. Telling myself a lie keeps me in my comfort zone. I do not have to break out of the ordinary into unknown territory.

We lie to ourselves because it is convenient. We can keep doing the same thing without having to change anything. Again, this is comfort zone territory.

We lie to ourselves because it makes us feel better. Lying preserves our self-esteem. We want to feel good more than we want to know who our true self is.

We lie to ourselves to avoid responsibility for our actions.

We tell ourselves lies to cover up the mental conflict that occurs when our beliefs do not line up with our actions. This is known as cognitive dissonance. 

 Allow me to expand with a few more reasons to why we believe the lies we tell ourselves.

Lies confirm my position. Some people have the need to be right. In order to be right, they have to lie to affirm their position. That includes lying to themselves. Under these circumstances, to lie to someone else we have to lie to ourselves first. Have you ever found yourself in an argument and said, “you always do that.” Always is a big word meaning at all times. Most people do not “always” do something. More accurately would be “you often do that.” So, is this a lie or a misuse of words? I know for myself when I used this in an argument it was a lie. I would use it to affirm my position and it made me feel superior.

Lies protect us from other fears. We are not often aware of fear in our lives on a daily basis. We use lies to cover up or avoid our fears of inadequacy, loneliness, failure, change, rejection, uncertainty, being judged by others, being excluded, or intimacy to name a few. You tell yourself a lie to protect yourself and maintain a sense of security.

A lie can rationalize the decisions I made. I can tell myself it is the best decision, under the circumstances. This is the “fine line” lie between the truth and lie. I can often justify the decision in a few different ways. In the end I am trying to protect myself from something. Something like not having all the information I needed to make a sound decision, so I made a hasty decision. I do not want to admit I made a hasty decision, so I tell myself it is the best decision.

We believe the lie because you refuse to accept the reality of your situation, so you change it by changing the narrative. This one hits me close to home. I lied to myself about the abuse I experienced at home because I did not want to admit things were as bad as they were. I was very fearful of the future if my marriage failed. I had no idea how I would survive. Lying to myself did not delay the inevitable. It did not delay the threats to my life or the lives of my children. I had to come to terms with the truth.

There is good news. You CAN confront the lies and start living in the truth. The truth is where freedom lives. The bible says, the truth will set you free. Truth certainly sets you free.

To counter a lie there are a few things necessary to keep at the forefront of your mind. The first thing is to be aware. In daily life there are situations that cause you to lie to yourself. Be aware. You do lie to yourself. Ask yourself,

Where am I?

Who am I with?

Am I lying to make someone feel better or make myself feel better?

How do I feel right now?

These few questions can be answered quickly in any situation or in retrospect. Whenever you stop to answer these four questions you can determine your truth and choose to act differently now and in the future.

Set boundaries. You knew boundaries would rise to the surface eventually. They have to so here we are with a brief note on boundaries. Boundaries protect us. Boundaries are the decisions you make, in advance, to act in a certain way, remove yourself from situations or decline certain people or situations. There are good books on boundaries. My favorites are BOUNDARIES by Henry Cloud and John Townsend and BOUNDARIES: WHERE YOU END AND I BEGIN by Anne Katherine, M.A. Andy Stanley has a great series on Guardrails. I encourage you to listen to the whole series.

Start small. No one can change everything all at once. They say the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Changing the way, you talk to yourself is the same. Determine one lie you tell yourself. Figure out why you tell yourself the lie. Are you protecting yourself? Are you protecting someone else? Are you acting out of fear? Once you have defined the lie you now have the power to tell yourself the truth. You will need to tell yourself the truth over and over again. Do not get discouraged if you slip. After a period of time, you will notice that you no longer believe the lie. You may not even remember the lie. The amount of time it takes is as unique as you are. Be patient. Remember this is a journey not a sprint.

Learn acceptance. Yes, I am talking to me as much as to you. We are often more accepting of others than we are of ourselves. Accepting the truth can be challenging. Learning to accept the truth can be tough. Learning the truth is a gateway to valuable lessons. I can guarantee you that facing the truth is worth it. When you accept yourself for who you are your world becomes beautiful. I would rather live accepting all of me than I would living a lie. How about you?

Overcome lies by becoming the observer. Observe yourself. Be present in the moments of your life. Introspections does not require a retreat or a quiet place. We can do it moment by moment. Be aware of how you are feeling. Ask yourself why are you feeling this way? Open the places that rarely get the light. Be brave and courageous. You can change your story. You can change your narrative. There is power in making choices. There is power in choosing to do something different, to be someone different.

Finally, stop justifying. Stop making excuses and justifying what you tell yourself. Dig deeper to figure out why you are lying to yourself. Check the vocabulary you use with yourself. In the Ted Talk Carolyn Myss presented on Choices That Can Change Your Life, she says the following.

“Finally, make this choice. Choose to get up every day and bless your day. Choose to get up every single day and bless your day. And you say I have no idea what is going to be in my day, but it is blessed, why? Because I am alive. And do not base your gratitude for your life on what you have or how you feel. But just because you are. Just because you are. Just because you are. And then hold in your heart this prayer. This day of my life will never come again. I will never see the people I am looking at again. I will never see this sunrise again and I will never see that sunset. I will never see the person having breakfast with me again. Just this way. You know, nothing in my life like this will ever come again. That alone, that choice alone should take out of your heart every bitter taste there is. That it should shape the life around you with such grace and such beauty. That will make you only want to see the present with great gratitude.”

Our next blog post will be on THE TRUTH. As much as we tell ourselves lies, we also tell ourselves some truths. There are truths you need to know. Judy and I are looking forward to revealing this post to you. See you next time in Wounded Women Rising.

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The Lies I Tell Myself

The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves. Richard Bach

Oh my gosh. How can I say you tell lies to yourself? I can say that because it is 100% true. We all lie to ourselves because lies are often easier to live with than the truth.  We will not accept lies from others. We will accept lies we tell ourselves all the time. When we live in a lie, we must tell another lie to uphold the original lie. And then another lie, and another lie and another lie. We lose sight of who we are. When we live our authentic true selves, we are happier, and healthier. We can love on others without losing sight of who we are. Love lives in the truth. Love dies in a lie.

We tell ourselves lies because we do not like something about ourselves and we try to cover it up with a lie such as, “it is not that bad.” Have you ever injured yourself and told someone you are fine when you know you are not fine? You have lied to the person who asked and to yourself. If you hurt, you need help. Telling someone you are fine is a sure-fire way to not get the help you need. Why would you do that?

We lie to ourselves because it is comfortable. We do not have to face the hard truth.

We lie to ourselves because it is convenient. We can keep doing the same thing without having to change anything.

We lie to ourselves because it makes us feel better. Lying preserves our self-esteem.

We lie to ourselves to avoid responsibility for our actions.

We tell ourselves lies to cover up the mental conflict that occurs when our beliefs do not line up with our actions. This is known as cognitive dissonance. “Leon Festinger’s cognitive dissonance theory suggests that we have an inner drive to hold all our attitudes and beliefs in harmony and avoid disharmony (or dissonance)”. To maintain harmony, we tell ourselves a lie. Until we live in the truth of who we are, and our actions line up with that we cannot be free to be who we are.

How do you know you are lying to yourself?

Lying to yourself can show up with physical symptoms such as stress, anxiety, digestive issues, and pain. The physical symptoms are messages, and you should pay attention. For example, you have a friend that calls you regularly to vent and complain. When you see her number on your phone you get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know you do not want to talk to her. You know she drains your energy. You know she is not interested in what is happening in your life. You know you will be awake for hours after the call trying to figure out ways to help her. But you tell yourself she needs someone and that someone is you. The sick feeling in the pit of your stomach is telling you something different than the rationalization you have made in your mind. The rationalization is a lie. Your gut knows the truth. It is better for your mental health not to answer the call and let it go to voicemail. Imagine what you could do with the extra hour or two. You could rest, prepare lunch for tomorrow, finish your laundry or finish reading the book you would normally put down when you answer her call. The truth of the matter is your friend will move on to someone else when you stop being at her disposal.  She is not interested in you. She wants someone to listen so she can vent. It really does not matter if that someone is you.

When you lie to yourself you are running away from something. It is difficult to admit, however, that sensation to flee is you running from the truth. What are you trying to escape from? A thought? A realization? A harsh truth? There is something just outside our reach, in the dark and you do not like it. You distract yourself and you do not know why. You must escape, but you do not know why.

Lies show up when you justify someone else’s behaviour. This is common in the abused woman. We tell ourselves we deserved to be hit. We tell ourselves that “he’s just blowing off steam.” We tell ourselves it will change. We tell ourselves we just need to do x y z and it will not happen again. Justifying their behaviour is easier than facing the truth and making the tough decisions.

Lies show up when you justify your own behaviour. You lie when you tell yourself “I am just feeling a little stressed” or “I have no other options.” These lies are very deceptive. It allows you to believe that you have good reason. You are making excuses and being consciously oblivious.

Have you ever experienced having a rigid attitude? Do others consider you to be narrow-minded? Do you play the blame game? Must you always be right? If you answered yes to any of these questions you are a victim of lying to yourself. Engaging in any of these behaviours hides a tremendous amount of fear. You live in an altered reality.

Have you ever felt inauthentic? Have you ever wondered if they found out who you really are they would not like you? Do you feel fake? The truth is you have lost touch with who you really are. You go places you do not want to go. You make friends with people you do not like. You buy things you cannot afford. You laugh when a joke is not funny. You are spending more time pleasing others than doing what brings you pleasure. This is inauthentic living and a lie.

You are believing a lie when you say any of the following to yourself.

  • Everything is going to be okay. (There are times everything is not going to be okay.)
  • Their success is my failure. (It is their success. You are still working on yours. Celebrate their success.)
  • I will be happy when… (when is a person place or thing. When they happen in your life the bliss does not last, and you are on to the next I will be happy when…)
  • If I am not busy, I am not working hard enough. (This is pure B.S. Busy distracts us from the things that really matter.)
  • I do not have enough time for that. (We always make time for what is important to us.)
  • I am a bad person if I say no. (Saying no does not make you bad or good. Saying no is respecting your boundaries and taking care of yourself.)
  • Everyone else has it all together. (You have no way of knowing what others are going through. We can all put on a good front and be dying inside.)
  • If I fix this one thing, life will be good. (This is like I will be happy when. When never comes and stays for the rest of your life.)
  • It does not matter. (If you are saying it does matter. You are trying to convince yourself otherwise.)
  • They will forget about it. (They may forget what you did. People never forget the way you make them feel.)
  • Love goes both ways. (This is a fairy tale, a story. Love is sacrificial. You are blessed if love is flowing in both directions. It is not a law.)
  • I am setting myself up for disappointment. (Henry Ford said, if you say you can or you say can’t, you are right. The way you talk to yourself can be the difference between success and failure.)
  • If I do that people will expect more of me. (People will only expect as much as you are willing to give or convince them of. You determine how much of yourself to give away.)
  • I am being selfish. (Selfishness is a tool for self care. Selfish is putting boundaries in place to protect your mental and physical health. Selfish is not bad. Everything can be extreme. When everything is always about me me me, yes, it is selfish. The best life is in relationship with others. Thinking only of yourself all the time is selfish and damaging to your relationships.)

Check in on our next blog post. We will be talking about replacing the lies with truth and living an authentic life. Until then, can you identify two lies you tell yourself on a regular basis? Can you discern what the truth is and stop telling yourself the lie?

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Where Do Lies Come From?

We live in a world where ideas, thoughts, images, and concepts are continually presented to us. Media, institutions, social moirés, social groups, work environments, culture and family beliefs all influence our perception of self. In our current world, there are so many lies that are propagated, it can be difficult to ascertain the truth.

“There is no definition for a lie that serves to make it true. Nor can there be a truth that lies conceal effectively. “A Course In Miracles

In the tobacco industry, Phillip Morris marketed to consumers in the 1950s that their cigarettes were healthy. Whole product lines were created and sold based on the lie. When the FDA determined tobacco products caused illness, the company put filters on their products. The filters contained carcinogens including asbestos. Today tobacco companies market their products to the tune of $28 Billion of profit, as an individual choice by informed adults. Given the overwhelming evidence that tobacco products cause illness and even death, why would people believe the marketing?

To condition a response in an individual or in a group of people, repetition is key. Often our initial response is to say that is not true.   With enough repetition, coupled with pressure to conform from outside influences, doubt can begin to erode our internal compass. We go along to get along. This can be foolhardy and extremely dangerous.

Lies are often presented as a distorted truth. But we know truth is pure, unpolluted and without stain. Truth does no harm.

Where do lies come from? Lies are external influences that try to impact our internal alignment. Three questions to ask yourself when confronted with a lie.

Who is saying this?

What is their motivation?

Will I allow it to impact me?

Nellie McClung, a Women’s Institute Member and one of the women responsible for getting women a vote in Canada is quoted as saying “I want to leave something behind when I go. Some small legacy of truth: some word that will shine in a dark place.” Nellie knew that a lie that was being promoted. The lie was, “women are not smart enough, women are too fragile, women are too hysterical, and that nice women did not vote.” The lie needed to be dissolved when brought into the light of the truth. Thank you, Nellie for the strength of your commitment to the truth.

What lies are you believing that no longer serve your internal alignment?

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The Story before the Story… the Apple Incident

For the past week or more, I have been trying to write an article on lies. Lying and where do lies come from. I have been stuck in my writing process. I also have had severe back pain. I go to my first area of relief which is PureBioenergy Healing Therapy. The thing about PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is that it heals on all levels. This means the emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our being are addressed as well as the physical.

In this process of healing, I uncover a lie that I have been living. I chose to leave my “past life” as I call it in the past. I thought that if I don’t think about it anymore, it will not affect me. In some ways, this is true. I do not have the anxiety I experienced prior to leaving my ex-husband. I present outwardly as someone who can make decisions, albeit in a slower fashion than most. I have a quick wit and enjoy making people laugh.

I am a sensitive. One of those people who feels things deeply. When someone shares their story, I can truly empathize. The month of October holds some strong emotional ties for me. My first marriage was in October, my beautiful daughter was born in October. And the apple incident happened in October.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, there was a bright sunny Saturday morning. My then husband had gone out with his friends on a motorcycle ride which was often his Saturday and Sunday morning routine. My friend, Maryon had invited my daughter and myself to go with her and her daughters to an apple orchard to pick apples. My ex-husband knew we were going to the orchard.

It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. The girls enjoyed picking the apples off the shorter trees and finding ripe red ones on the ground. My daughter and I picked a full bushel of apples. I was excited to have them to eat fresh as a snack. I make a great apple pie, with my Mom’s pie crust recipe, and apple crisp was often a breakfast food in my house.

Maryon’s daughters were older than my daughter. They wanted us to join them at the Spooky Farm which was a farm with a haunted house exhibit and where one could buy pumpkins.

I had tried to phone my ex to let him know we would be out later than originally planned. I Knew this was important. He did not answer the call. I knew it was close to lunch time and I had not left him a suitable lunch. My daughter and I had eaten enough apples, so we were not hungry. We headed out with our friends to the Spooky Farm. I did not realize how far away from our home this Spooky Farm was, having never been there.

I had a feeling of dread as I realized the time was now much later than I had said I would be home. We stayed a very short time at the farm. My daughter was now starting to pick up on my anxiety. She was happy to leave the Spooky Farm. We drove home. As soon as I drove up the driveway, I knew we were in trouble.

My ex-husband was furious that I had not been home when he got home from his ride. He was swearing at us before we got into the house. He sent my daughter upstairs to her room.

I had carried the bushel of apples we had picked into the kitchen. In his rage, he proceeded to throw every apple from the bushel at me. I could not talk to him or stop the madness. I had round apple shaped bruises on my back, my legs, my arms for weeks afterward. The beautiful red apples we so carefully picked, were splattered all over the kitchen. Every single apple was thrown. Then he left. I cleaned up all the smashed apples. Those that were salvageable I made into apple sauce. Months later I would find bits of dried apple under the fridge.

I never went apple picking again.

The irony is that I was worried that someone might find out what had happened. That I had made my husband that angry. I did not want my daughter to tell her teacher or anyone what had happened. I did not tell anyone till years later in therapy.

I share this story now because the shame, fear, anxiety I had that day, I know is felt by another woman. I know my daughter carries the pain of that day.


We are not responsible for someone else’s misplaced anger. We did nothing wrong. We do not need to lie to cover the pain caused by another’s actions. It happened. It is true. It is sad. It is so sad that a beautiful, sunny fall day has such a blight on it. The smell of fresh picked apple is bittersweet to me.

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Correcting Conflicted Values

When our values are conflicted our spirit resonance is restricted. We turn this around when we become brave enough to look in the mirror and ask the tough questions that we hear pinging around in our soul. Tranquility comes from dropping into your heart. Get away from the chaos to a place of quiet. It does not have to be a weekend getaway. 30 minutes is a good start. As you get comfortable with the quiet you can start asking yourself questions. Questions such as

What would you have me see?

What do I need to know?

These two questions start the conversation with your deepest self. Have a pen and paper with you to jot down your insights, the answers to your questions. More questions will come. Allow them to come. Acknowledge them and wait for the answers. You are having a conversation with your deepest self. You know, the one stuffed so far down you do not recognize her. This is a process. Be gracious with yourself. You are getting to know an old friend, the little girl inside you. She is shy. Give her time to come out and sit with you. Be patient.

You need to know you are divine, worthy. You are loved. When you get away from fear love expands. When our values are conflicted, we see our world getting smaller. This is an illusion. The reality is we are infinite. When we change our way of thinking everything around us changes. The number one thing is to value yourself. You are of value. You are love. Out of love comes faith. Faith for a future. Faith to make a change, a baby step or a leap, a leap of faith. You will not see the outcome of your change until you make it. Henry Ford said, “If we believe we can or believe we can’t, we are right.” It is the belief that creates the outcome. Dr. Bruce Lipton’s work proves it is not the medicine that heals it the belief that the medicine will provide healing that heals.

When you realize you are a thought of God you are a created being. You are love incarnate. You expand. You forgive. You simply cannot hold onto the discomfort, the hurt, the ego because it no longer fits with who you are. We are all cracked, wounded egos. Let the ego go. Open you hand and release the illusion of what we think we are. Know in your whole being that goodness runs through you. Forgive. Align with your divinity. Align with the magnificent sacred part of who you are. You are excellent, delightful, superb, pleasing, attractive and eternal. You have a knowing by inspiration, intuition and insight. Live your life through the love that you truly are. Let your love lens show you your worth, your value, your intention and, your purpose.

We would love to hear your comments and get to know you. This is an interactive forum. Enjoy the day and all of it’s blessings.

Rose and Judy

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What Happens When Our Values Are Conflicted

When we conflict with our values, we are not whole. We are not well. When our values are conflicted, we are not grounded. We flit about. Pulled this way. Pushed that way. When our values are conflicted, we are influenced by others’ opinions and trends. When our values are conflicted, we can be indecisive, unsure, and misled.

Our values connect our heart and our head. We need to be clear on our values, the ones imprinted on our hearts. You can tell your head anything, but you cannot tell your heart just anything. Your heart knows. When our heart and our head are conflicted, it creates incoherence. We are confused and unclear of who we are and what we are doing. Living outside our values is living a lie.

When our values are conflicted our spirit resonance is restricted. A spirit resonance is when our purpose is task and spiritually oriented. We honour ourselves and others and we care for all things. “Living in a spiritual resonance is fun, positive, enlightening, spiritual, bonding, caring, and validating. It is safe, meaningful, hopeful, compassionate, educational, inviting, engaging, connected, authentic, and provocative.” (https://www.taosinstitute.net/files/Content/5692967/whitney_AI-Creating-Spiritual-Resonance.pdf)  Imagine living your life outside of these beautiful values.

Our internal world compass conflicts with what we are presenting to the external world. The internal compass is the part of you that is your soul. This part of you is all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful, creative, and limitless. When you connect to your inner compass you are fearless, confident, and calm. When your values are conflicted, you experience separation from your soul. Fears, anxiety, and self-doubt take control. You wear masks to present yourself to the world. Your true self is hiding, and you become a shell of your person resulting in depression.

In an abusive relationship you pretend it is not so bad. You quiet the conflicting values. Whenever there is abuse in a relationship trust is broken and sadly one of the biggest trust issues is trusting ourselves. When we let others make our decisions, we learn to distrust our own structures and beliefs. You distrust what you know to be true. When you distrust what you know to be true your foundation is shattered. You second guess most or all your decisions. How can you improve your daily life when each moment is shifting? You struggle to find your footing.

Another emotion that appears with conflicted values is fear. This one is H U G E for most of us. We often react from a place of fear. Fear isolates us from our own emotions and other people, tasks, or things. A threat of losing something is present and we act out of fear. Fear rises when a need of ours will possibly go unfulfilled. Fear can also emerge from memories. Have you ever said, “I’ve seen this before.” or “Here we go again.”? These phrases come out of memories and our fears appear as present and threatening.

Other emotions that appear with conflicted values are frustration and hurt. Values are at the root of all frustration and hurt. The frustrations and hurts are more about what value of ours has been challenged. I was often frustrated in my marriage because my husband procrastinated. Was I frustrated because of his procrastination and incomplete project and chores? I thought so before I did some work with values. I realized I was frustrated because I value integrity and play time. Work not getting done equaled my missing play time. That was unacceptable. I believe play time is essential to a healthy body, mind, and spirit. Play time puts me in touch with my inner child. And I like my inner child a lot!

Our next blog post will give actions on ways to correct conflicted values.

We look forward to reading your comments. Do you have a burning issue you would like us to address? Post it in the comments below. We are here to serve you.