Healing Practices
Healing Practices
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Your Transformation – Mind Moves

Mind moves, mind shift, perspective change or reality re-evaluation. Whatever you call it the principle is to “change your mind”. I change my mind every day. I change my mind about what I’m going to wear. I change my mind about what to have for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I change my mind because I’m a woman – and that’s my prerogative. This kind of mind change is not what I want to talk about today.

I want to talk about what goes on in your mind when you want to make a change in your life. I want to talk about how you move your mind from negative thinking to positive thinking. This kind of mind move is the second phase in transformation.

Think of like this. The old digital alarm clocks had a SET button. You choose the time you want to wake up, scroll through the time until you get it just right and press the SET button. This keeps the time in memory. When that time rolls around, the alarm goes off. In the same way, mind moves shift you from a negative way of thinking to a positive way of thinking. You push the SET button to keep it in memory.

A powerful mind move involves moving from a victim mentality to a mind SET of empowerment. Instead of feeling helpless and at the mercy of external circumstances, you recognize your natural strength and responsibility in shaping your own destiny.

For example, rather than dwelling on past traumas over things that happened to you, you get to reframe the event as an experience that shaped your resilience and ability to overcome adversity. You’re still standing. The fact that you are still standing is testament to your strength and resilience.

Transitioning from a fixed mind SET to a growth mind SET is another important mind move. Rather than believing your abilities and qualities are fixed traits, you get to see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. This is a growth mind move. You move to embrace setbacks as temporary rather than insurmountable obstacles and approach life with a sense of curiosity. You are open to new experiences.

Many women who have experienced trauma struggle with self-doubt and low self-esteem. A mind move in this area involves cultivating self-confidence and self-belief.

When I learned that it was necessary for me to make this mind move, I panicked. I didn’t think it was possible. I believed that this was the way I was and it could not change. If you think this way or this statement fills you with anxiety, please, take a deep breath, exhale slowly and believe that you can cultivate self-confidence.

Cultivating self-confidence involves challenging negative self-talk and replacing it with affirmations of self-worth and capability. For example, instead of telling myself, “I’m not good enough,” I affirm, “I am worthy of love and respect, and I have the strength to overcome any challenge.” It can seem so simple, yet the result of replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmation is SO PROFOUND.

Positive affirmations provide a counterbalance to negative thoughts. Affirming statements challenge and replace destructive beliefs with more empowering beliefs. Repeating positive affirmations gradually rewires your brain to adopt positive and supportive thought patterns, leading to improved self-esteem and self-worth.

Positive affirmations cultivate self-compassion by offering words of kindness, understanding, and acceptance. By affirming your own worthiness, strength, and resilience, you learn to treat yourself with greater kindness and compassion, nurturing a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance.

Positive affirmations inject hope and optimism into your life reminding you that healing is possible and that better days lie ahead. Declarations such as “I trust in the healing process,” “I believe in my ability to heal,” and “I am deserving of a bright future” instill a sense of hope and possibility. This motivates you to persevere on your journey of recovery.

Fear often holds us back from pursuing our dreams and living life to the fullest. A mind move from fear to courage involves acknowledging the presence of your fear but not letting it dictate your actions.

It means stepping out of our comfort zone and taking a bold leap of faith, even in the face of uncertainty. For example, instead of allowing fear of failure to paralyze you, you get to embrace the unknown and take a calculated risk to pursue your goals and dreams.

Take risks. Try new experiences that stretch your abilities and expand your horizons. It may be scary at first, but the effort will be so worth it.

Finally, a transformative mind move involves shifting from an attitude of scarcity to one of abundance. Instead of viewing life through a lens of lack and limitation, you get to see abundance and possibility all around you.

Abundance is not only financial. If you open your heart and your eyes you will see the abundance in your life. I like to go for a walk in the woods regularly. I see the power of the trees and the wind. I see the beauty of the forest floor. I breathe in the clean air. This to me is abundance. Abundance, for me, is looking into the eyes of my children and grandchildren, being thankful they have been given to me and I feel rich. I can look in my fridge and see that I have enough, even if it’s only enough for today.

This may involve practicing gratitude for what you already have and adopting an abundance mind SET that attracts more positivity and abundance into your life. For example, rather than focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have to be grateful for and trust that your needs will be provided.

I find that writing down the things I am grateful for today is an impactful practice. I am reminded of all things, people, places, and experiences I have had. I see how these have impacted my life and I live with a grateful heart. I can also be grateful for my future and picture what that looks like.

I know a woman named Lena. Lena had always felt like she was merely surviving, navigating her days with a heavy heart and a sense of resignation. Deep within her soul, she longed for something more—a life filled with purpose, joy, and fulfillment.

One day, as Lena sat in her tiny apartment, surrounded by the familiar trappings of her existence, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there had to be more to life than what she was experiencing. She yearned for a change, a transformation that would break the chains of her self-imposed limitations and set her spirit free.

With a flicker of determination, Lena embarked on a journey of self-discovery—a journey that would challenge her beliefs, push her boundaries, and ultimately lead her to profound transformation.

As Lena delved into the depths of her own psyche, she encountered the first hurdle on her path: the victim mindset. This mindset held her captive for a long time.

She realized that she had been allowing her past traumas to define her, casting herself as the helpless victim of circumstances beyond her control. But in that moment of awareness, Lena made a conscious choice to reclaim her power—to rise above her past and embrace her innate strength and resilience.

With each move forward, Lena encountered new challenges that tested her resolve. She faced moments of doubt and uncertainty, grappling with the fear of the unknown that threatened to hold her back. But instead of allowing fear to dictate her actions, Lena summoned the courage within her—the courage to step into the unknown, to trust in her own abilities, and to pursue her dreams with unwavering determination.

Along the way, Lena discovered the transformative power of a growth mindset—a belief in her own potential to learn, grow, and evolve. She realized that setbacks were not roadblocks, but rather opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

With each challenge she encountered, Lena embraced the opportunity to expand her horizons, to push past her comfort zone, and to emerge stronger and more resilient than before.

As Lena journeyed deeper into the heart of her own transformation, she began to see the world through new eyes—an abundance mindset opened her heart to the infinite possibilities that surrounded her. She realized that life was not a zero-sum game, but rather a tapestry of abundance and opportunity, waiting to be woven into the fabric of her own unique story.

In the end, Lena emerged from her journey of transformation not as a mere survivor, but as a beacon of hope and inspiration to all who knew her. She had exceeded her limitations, embraced her true essence, and stepped into a reality filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment.

Now, you get to choose how your transformation develops.  This is ALL about you. No one can take it away. It is nobody else’s business. Your transformation is NOT selfish. Your transformation is the MOST loving act you can do for yourself. Without loving yourself it is impossible to love anyone else.

By making these mind moves, your get to transform your perspective on life. You get to unlock your full potential. You get to create a reality filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment. This is your journey of self-discovery and empowerment. This journey begins with changing the way you think and perceive the world around you.

The next blog post in this series is the exploration of the huge impact healing methods can have on your transformation.

Remember that trauma does not define you. You choose how to live your life.  

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Transformation: Acceptance and Self-compassion

I did something the other day I don’t usually do. I found myself scrolling through social media. One reel hooked me into another, and then another and another and on and on it went.

I know the concept of reels is to hook the viewer into more and more. I got hooked. Then next thing I knew an hour and half went by at the speed of my finger. Can you relate? Has this EVER happened to you?

After I had finished chastising myself on the waste of time, I realized something significant.

I realized a lot of the reels I watched were about transformation. I have to admit I have been doing research on the concept of transformation and engaging in some transformative practices.

Algorithms caught on and filled my feed with reels about transformation. Now, not all reels were about transformation. Some were just plain funny and I laughed ‘til I cried. I love a sense of humour. I can still see the outrageous stuff people do and I chuckle to myself. Hmmmm.

Right. Let’s get back to what I was talking about.

So, was scrolling a waste of time? I’m going out on a limb and saying “NO”.

The fact that I realized what I had been watching was of some value made me a bit giddy. I had held the belief that all social media scrolling was to fill in time waiting for appointments or an avenue to killing off brain cells. I was wrong.

Choke! Choke! Gag!

Yes, I was wrong and I am not afraid to admit it. It isn’t easy but I do admit it.

In that hour and a half, I learned some new things and I cemented in the things I already knew and discovered. And now I get to share what I learned with you.

If you aren’t interested in transforming any area of your life, duck out now. I suspect you’ll be bored.

If you are interested in transforming an area of your life read on. My prayer is that you will be blessed and get excited to begin the process of transforming your life to what YOU want it to be.

To start I think we need to ask the question, “Is transformation really possible?”. I give the answer to this question two thumbs up. YES! It is possible to transform your life.

Think about it. Most movies we watch are about transformations. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The Hulk. Kevin Spacey’s character in The Usual Suspects. Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor. The Gremlins. Star Wars and don’t forget about every Marvel movie. I believe I made my point.

So yes, transformation is possible. Transformation is not an easy road. Transformation is definitely worth the time, effort and money you invest in the process. So, where do you begin?

Transformation usually starts with a crisis. You hit rock bottom and find yourself in despair and or depression. You can’t do this anymore. How did you get here? How did you get into this? What just happened? How could he?

I am sure you can relate to at least one of these questions during a crisis in your life. I’m also sure you can add a thousand questions to this list.

I remember thinking during one of my many crises that maybe it was me. “If I could just find a way to change me everything would be okay.” So, I tried to change me, a transformation. I tried to become what I thought he wanted. That didn’t work! It actually made matters worse. I was miserable because I was living against my values, what I believed and who I was. My misery made the whole situation worse. Yes, transformation is not always positive.

I also remember a time when my second marriage was in dire trouble. I tried everything I knew at the time to “fix it”. This went on for a few years. Then one morning I woke up and decided it was not about him anymore. It was not about us anymore. It was about me.

I started my journey to wholeness, strength, confidence, and self-worth.

I engaged in psychotherapy to find my way out of the internal chatter that threatened to bury me. I read books. I found online groups for support. I went to retreats, seminars and workshops. I took part in online challenges. I sought out the thoughts and ideas of leaders in the field of transformation. I studied biographies of people who believed in themselves, went against “the norm” and found themselves, their strengths, and their passions.

Ladies, it has been quite the journey. It has cost me a lot of time, money, tears, anger and joy, mostly joy. This journey continues and I do not want to stop. I have found beauty among the ashes. I have found inner joy. I am happy – most of the time. I am an overcomer. I have even had do-overs!

So, where do you start on your journey of transformation – if you decide to start the challenge?

You have heard the quote by Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” This is exactly where to start. You start with the first step.

The first step is your decision to invest in yourself. If there is to be a change in your life, that change starts with you.

I believe you made that decision when you started reading this article or looking online for topics on personal change and transformation. We all long to be like the butterfly who emerges from the cocoon as a beautiful creature.

What do you do when you’ve made that decision? Good question! And bravo for asking it. When you ask a good question, you get a good answer. Your next step is acceptance.

Acceptance begins with acknowledging and confirming your emotions, even the painful ones.

When a woman experiences trauma she can allow herself to feel the depth of her sadness, anger, or fear without judgment. Instead of pushing these emotions away or denying their existence, she can acknowledge them as valid responses to her experiences.

Allow me to tell you a story.

Maya was no stranger to life’s challenges; she has weathered her fair share of storms and emerged stronger each time. Despite her resilience, there was still a heaviness in her heart—a lingering ache from wounds that ran deep.

One day Maya found herself sitting by the riverbank, lost in thought. Memories of past sufferings flooded her mind, threatening to consume her in a sea of sorrow. Tears welled up in her eyes as she struggled to make sense of it all.

In that moment of vulnerability, Maya realized that she had been fighting against herself, resisting the pain that clamored for acknowledgment. With an audible moan, she let go of her defenses and allowed herself to feel—to truly feel—the weight of her emotions. She embraced her sadness, her anger, her fear, like old friends returning home after a long journey.

Maya felt a gentle stirring within her—a flicker of self-compassion igniting in the depths of her soul. She spoke softly to herself, offering words of kindness and understanding, like soothing balm to a wounded heart.

“I forgive you,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “I forgive you for carrying this burden for so long. You deserve peace, and I will walk beside you every step of the way.”

With each passing day, Maya practiced self-compassion in small but profound ways. She learned to let go of the heavy cloak of self-blame that had weighed her down for years.  Instead, she embraced the lightness of forgiveness and grace. She set boundaries to protect her tender heart. She surrounded herself with love and support.

As the seasons turned and the world bloomed around her, Maya found herself transformed. She was not transformed by the absence of pain, but by the acceptance of it. She had become a beacon of hope for others, living proof to the power of acceptance and self-compassion on the journey of healing.

And so, dear reader, remember Maya’s story as you navigate your own path of transformation. Embrace your pain, your imperfections, with open arms, for it is in acceptance that true healing begins.

This is the beginning of your journey in transformation. Acceptance takes time. Take this opportunity to accept. Give yourself the gift of time to accept yourself as you are, scars and all. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Don’t run from them. Your emotions are part of you, a beautiful part of you.

Show yourself compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Present yourself with words of comfort and reassurance during difficult moments. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can given your circumstances.

Acceptance also means letting go of self-blame and recognizing that traumatic events are not your fault. A woman who has experienced abuse can release feelings of guilt or shame and understand that she did not deserve what happened to her. Instead of blaming herself for past actions or decisions, she can focus on nurturing herself and begin moving forward.

Self-compassion and acceptance involve embracing your imperfections and recognizing that nobody is perfect. A woman can forgive herself for past mistakes or perceived shortcomings, understanding that they do not define her worth. Instead of striving for unattainable standards of perfection, celebrate your uniqueness and inherent value.

Acceptance includes setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being and honor your needs. You can assertively communicate your boundaries with others, expressing what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. Prioritize self-care and respect your limits. In this way you show self-compassion and cultivate a sense of empowerment.

When you practice acceptance and self-compassion you develop a deeper sense of self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. These habits serve as the foundation for healing and growth, allowing you to embrace your true self with love and compassion.

There is more to discover on this journey of transformation. Next week we will uncover mindset shifts that can change your perspective and significantly affect your personal healing journey.

May you always be guided by the gentle whispers of self-compassion, leading you home to the depths of your own beautiful soul.

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Watch What You Think

Why do we think the way we think? 

What has informed us? One element of being human is that we are consistently seeking new information.  We think that is knowledge.  The news, social media, libraries, the education systems all exist because of our desire to know.  Curiosity is a good thing.

Well, maybe not for cats.

Do we believe things just because we are told that those things are true? How many things throughout history that have been believed to be true are false?  They are so far from being true that in some ways we cannot fathom that people believed them.  For centuries, it was believed that women were less intelligent than men. It was believed that certain cultures or races were less intelligent than the race in power at the time.  It was believed that the earth was the centre of the universe.   These were presented as facts.  Yet these presumed facts are as far from the truth as can be.

History shows us that just thinking something is so, does not make it so.  

You have heard it said that your thoughts create your actions, your actions create your habits, and your habits create your life.   What are those thoughts that are creating your actions?  What is the recording that is playing in the background of our mind?  Where did those thoughts come from?  Are those thoughts true?

 It is worthwhile to examine those thoughts which we hold to be true. Joe Dispenza says to mediate is to become familiar with.  Are we even familiar with the thoughts that percolate though our mind?   As a mother, how often have we said to our children, usually when trying to correct behavior; “Now you sit there, and think about it”. Think about what? Without giving them guidance on how to address an issue or solve a problem, or change their perceived correct response, how can they be expected to think any differently?   Is this not true for ourselves?

In the book, A Course in Miracles, it states in one of the 365  lessons  “All my thoughts are past thoughts”.   Unless we are willing to introduce or imagine a new way of thinking, we are destined to repeat the same thoughts. Fortunately, this book does teach ways of changing our thought patterns.

The mind, the body and the spirit are not separate.  They are intertwined by a constant, cascade of intelligent energy.   There has been much research on how the state of this synchronized and harmonious activity between the heart, brain, and other physiological systems affect the body.  When the heart and brain are in coherence, it can have profound effects on both physical and emotional well-being.  When the heart and the brain are in a state of coherence levels of stress hormones, such a cortisol decrease, and the levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine increase.  In other words, I feel good. I can think clearly. I am calm. My mind is creative. I can solve problems.  My relationship with myself and others improves.

This wholeness of heart, mind and spirit is wellness.  This energy informs our cells. It is the energy of life.  To heal is to make whole.  There is no separation of heart, mind or spirit.

Therefore, the thoughts do influence our heart.  And our heart influences our thoughts.

Something to think about.

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“From Shadows to Strength: A Guide to Self-Focus and Healing After Trauma”

Many women who have experienced trauma find it tough to focus on themselves. Trauma can often lead to a heightened sense of hyper-vigilance, where you are constantly accustomed to scanning for potential threats. This makes it difficult to turn your attention inward and prioritize self-care.

In the aftermath of trauma, you also struggle with feelings of guilt or shame, which further impede your ability to focus on yourself. The journey to healing often involves breaking down these barriers and nurturing a sense of self-worth and self-compassion.

Given how much of your energy was consumed serving the needs of others and protecting yourself and your loved ones, do you find the act of self-focus is a selfish effort?

Allow me to put this into perspective.  Self-focus is not selfish. Self-focus is a crucial aspect of healing. Acknowledging and meeting your own needs is essential for recovery. Self-focus is not only a right but a responsibility, especially in the context of trauma recovery.

I had a difficult time allowing myself to focus on anything other than my children after I was able to exit the difficult life in my first marriage. I shifted focus from walking on eggshells with my alcoholic husband to overprotecting my children and making sure they were functioning and had everything they needed. There was no time or room to focus on me. I was too exhausted emotionally, and physically. There came a day of reckoning. I was alone for the first time since leaving the marriage. I had no idea what to do with the time I had. My mind went crazy. I had crazy thoughts. I felt like a caged animal. I had thoughts that I could not make it on my own. I had thoughts that I should go back. I became scared and restless.

So, I did what any crazy woman would do and I sat down. I breathed deeply and considered the thoughts going through my head. Why would I go back into a situation where my life was threatened? What was there that was so important that I did not feel I could make it on my own? As my mother would say, “I had a good talk with myself.” I realized that if I was going to be a good mom, I needed to provide for my children. I could not do that if I went back to the situation where we were not safe.  I could not do that if I didn’t discover who I was. I needed a job with a steady income. I made a plan that day. Within a week I had a job. Shortly after that I started seeing a counsellor. I began a journey of self-discovery.

Through the years I still struggle at times with self-focus. Self-focus appears to be more selfish than self-discovery to me. I continue to learn and allow myself to focus on myself. When I take time for myself, I do the things I want to do. If that is nothing, then I do nothing. Nothing also serves a purpose. It allows for rest. I have not always made good choices but I have learned a lot of lessons. There have been setbacks. There have been times when I abandoned my journey. There have been times when I became obsessed with my journey. I have realized over the years that I have nothing to give anyone if I don’t know who I am and what I like and do not like. This knowing is a result of self-focus. The journey continues to this day.

It is absolutely necessary that you consider making self-focus a priority in your life. If there is one thing that can assist you in coming to the place where your trauma does not rule your life, self-focus is the key.  This is a really strong statement. But I believe it with all of my heart.

If making this decision seems too scary or you find yourself wanting to run for the door please stop. Stop and consider one way you can put the focus back on you. Was there a time in your life where you were confident and happy? Think about how you felt then. Would you like to feel that way again? There is a way to get to a good place in your life, a place where you like yourself again, even love yourself again.

Let us dig into a few ways you can begin your journey into self-focus. I am going to give you options in the following list. You do not have to take on all of the opportunities. Choose one. Only one. Try it out for 14 days. If you find yourself not following through with a 14-day discovery, it is possible the one you chose does not resonate with you. Choose another one.

Keep choosing until you find something you can stick with for 14 days. Sticking to something means you are not making excuses for not doing it. Do not justify or lie to yourself for not doing it. Be honest. I cannot stress the importance of consistency enough, as you focus on yourself. Commit to 14 days. You are worth it.

None of these options takes a long time to execute. Some are 10 minutes or less. Some are more of an awareness.

Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques

a. Practice deep breathing exercises to promote relaxation and grounding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbDoBzGY3vo This is a 5-minute mindful breathing exercise.

b. Mindfulness meditation helps you stay present in the moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssss7V1_eyA This a 5-minute mindful meditation practice.

Self-Compassion Practices

a. Write yourself a kind and understanding letter. Acknowledge your struggles, then write down what you have learned about yourself through the struggle. How strong are you? Have you been able to ask for help? Extend understanding and love yourself in this letter.

b. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would a close friend. You are deserving of this kindness and understanding.

Setting and Communicating Boundaries

a. Recognize that setting boundaries in relationships is healthy. Consider the book, Boundaries Where You End and I Begin: How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries

b. Think about and decided what boundaries you need so you can indulge in self-focus.

c. Practice giving clear communication when expressing your needs and boundaries.

d. Practice saying NO. No is a full sentence. You do not have to justify your NO to anyone – at any time – for any reason.

Journal for Self-Reflection Write about positive experiences, personal strengths, and moments of self-discovery.

Engage in Creative Outlets Creative expressions like art, writing, or music are a means of self-discovery and emotional release. While engaging in these activities you are able to transcend your hurts and worries and immerse yourself in beauty.

Establish a Self-Care Routine

a. Consider warm baths or showers to relax your body.

b. Use aromatherapy or scented candles to create a calming atmosphere.

c. Consider a digital detox. Schedule a period of time with no technology to reduce information overload.

d. Limit your social media. Consider checking social media only at specific times of day.

e. Exercise – even if it is just a walk at lunch time.

f. Get outside. Raise your face to the sun. No sun? Raise your face to the sky. Breathe.

g. Spend some time in nature.

Gratitude Incorporate gratitude exercises into your life to shift your focus from the negative to the positive aspects of your life. My favorite exercise is a gratitude journal. A couple of minutes in the morning or before bed and my mind begins to focus on the positive things in life. Regularly acknowledging and expressing gratitude can contribute to a more positive mindset.

One of the exercises my coach told me about and I found very helpful, was identifying negative thoughts. Pay attention to your thoughts, especially the thoughts that are self-critical, defeatist, or overly negative. Keep a thought journal to record and analyze your thoughts associated with specific situations.

View your thoughts as separate from yourself. Instead of saying “I am a failure,” say “I am having the thought that I am a failure.” This helps create a mental distance from the negative thought.

Evaluate the evidence supporting and contradicting your negative thoughts. Ask questions like “What evidence do I have for this thought?” and “Is there any evidence against it?”

Generate alternative, more balanced interpretations of situations. Consider different perspectives and ask, “Is there another way to interpret this situation?”

Objectively evaluate your thoughts based on facts or assumptions. Ask questions like “Is there any concrete evidence supporting this thought?”

Challenge catastrophic and exaggerated beliefs about the severity of potential outcomes. Take a realistic evaluation of the likelihood and consequences of feared events.

Set small, achievable goals to build a sense of accomplishment and challenge negative self-perceptions. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, to reinforce the positive events in your life. Every little thing you do can have a momentous effect on your future.

Self-focus is not selfish. Self-focus is a crucial aspect of healing. Acknowledging and meeting your own needs is essential for recovery. You can explore the idea of taking care of yourself. Not only is self-focus a right, it is also a responsibility, especially in the context of trauma recovery.

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LET IT GO

I used to bristle at the words “let it go”. I often felt like people used this term as a platitude, something to say when they didn’t have an answer and didn’t want to talk to me about my issues. Saying “let it go” got them off the hook of getting involved in my life – even if it was just for the current circumstances I found myself in.

Many years ago when I slammed into menopause, I struggled with insomnia. I found that a lack of sleep altered who I was, how I thought, what I thought and how I expressed myself. At that time, I attended the women’s bible study at the church I attended. I do not remember what we were studying, but I do remember the conversation circled around “letting go and letting God”. I do remember asking the question, “How do you do that?” There was a bit of discussion but no answers on how to let it go. So, true to form I kept asking the same question. I got under the skin of some of the women. They would quote bible verses that had no meaning to the topic at hand. They would say, “Just let it go.” Our group leader was annoyed at the discussion and cut us off – abruptly. I sat there and stewed about it. I did not get an answer.

After class, two of the women waited for me outside of the church. I thought they were having a conversation amongst themselves. Little did I know they were waiting for me. These two women kept repeating, “Just let it go. God will handle it.”  Well, at that time I did not perceive God working in my life and He certainly was not helping with my insomnia. I left that bible study very angry. I was angry because I did not get an answer and angry because I was dismissed by the leader and other members of the group. It wasn’t until I arrived home and had a chance to think about the phrase, “let it go” that I realized that it was used more as a dismissal than anything helpful.  I have since learned that “letting it go” is a form of self love. How? Let me explain.

“Letting it go” is a phrase often used to describe the process of releasing or relinquishing something that is causing emotional distress or holding you back. It is about allowing yourself to move on from past experiences, negative emotions, or even physical possessions that no longer serve you in a positive way.

In the context of personal development and healing, “letting it go” can be a powerful concept. It means recognizing and acknowledging the emotions, thoughts, or traumas that may be weighing you down and then consciously deciding to release their grip on your life. It’s not about forgetting or denying what happened but rather choosing not to let it continue to negatively affect your present and future.

This process can involve various techniques such as mindfulness, therapy, journaling, or even talking with supportive friends or professionals. It’s about finding healthy ways to process and cope with difficult experiences and emotions so that you can move forward with a sense of self-awareness, self-confidence, and healing. Ultimately, “letting it go” is about freeing yourself from the burdens of the past so that you can fully embrace the present and create a better future for yourself. It’s a journey towards self-discovery and personal growth, an act of self-love.

Women, like anyone else, can find it difficult to “let it go” for a variety of reasons, especially after experiencing trauma or challenging life situations. It’s important to note that this difficulty is not limited to a specific gender but can be experienced by anyone. Here are some factors that can make it a challenge:

  1. Emotional Attachment: Women have strong emotional attachments to past experiences or relationships. These attachments can make it hard to move on because the memories are intertwined with deep emotions.
  2. Societal Expectations: Societal norms and expectations can sometimes place additional pressure on women to be caregivers, nurturers, and maintain relationships. This can make it challenging for some women to “let it go” because they may feel a sense of responsibility or guilt.
  3. Lack of Support: Having a support system is crucial for healing and letting go. Women who lack a support network may find it more challenging to process and release their emotions and experiences.
  4. Self-Worth and Confidence: Trauma or difficult experiences can erode a person’s self-worth and confidence, which can make it difficult to believe they deserve to let go and move forward.
  5. Fear of Repeating Patterns: Some women may fear that by letting go, they are setting themselves up to repeat past mistakes or enter similar harmful situations. This fear of the unknown can be a significant barrier.
  6. Coping Mechanisms: People often develop coping mechanisms, which might not be healthy, to deal with trauma. These coping mechanisms can become ingrained habits, making it difficult to let go because they’ve become a familiar way of dealing with pain or stress.
  7. Cultural and Family Influences: Cultural and family values can also play a role. Some cultures may place a strong emphasis on preserving family or relationship dynamics, even if they are unhealthy.
  8. Complexity of Trauma: Trauma can be extremely complex and deeply rooted. It may take time and professional assistance to unravel and address the layers of trauma and its effects.

It is essential to recognize that the process of “letting it go” is highly individualized. What works for one person may not work for another, and there’s no set timeline for healing. The key is to provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their experiences, emotions, and healing journey at their own pace. Here, at Wounded Women Rising, our goal is to provide you with the safe and supportive environment to grow and experience healing at the deepest level.

There are several steps that can be taken to “let it go” and begin the process of healing and moving forward. This is your “How To” list. Keep in mind that these steps can be customized to individual needs and circumstances. Pick and choose which steps you would like to introduce into your life. You do not have to do all of them. Here’s a general framework:

Self-Awareness and Acceptance:

Begin by acknowledging and accepting your feelings, whether they are related to trauma, past experiences, or negative emotions. Recognize that it’s okay to feel what you feel.

Seek Professional Help:

Consider working with a therapist, counselor, or trauma specialist. They can provide guidance, support, and specific therapeutic techniques to help you process and heal from trauma.

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help you stay present and reduce the impact of intrusive thoughts and emotions. It can also aid in self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Journaling:

Keeping a journal can be a powerful tool for self-reflection and emotional expression. Write about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This can help you gain insights and release pent-up emotions. Writing about your feelings and experiences can greatly increase the speed of your healing. Scientific evidence says so.

Express Emotions:

Find healthy outlets for expressing your emotions. This might include talking to a trusted friend, engaging in creative activities like art or music, or participating in support groups.

Forgiveness:

Work on forgiving yourself and others involved in the traumatic or difficult experiences. Forgiveness is a process that can lead to emotional freedom. Remember that forgiveness begins with willing to be willing to forgive.

Self-Care:

Prioritize self-care practices that nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. This can include regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and relaxation techniques.

Set Boundaries:

Learn to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself from further harm and to create a safe environment for your healing process.

Educate Yourself:

Educate yourself about trauma and its effects. Understanding the science behind trauma can help demystify your experiences and normalize your feelings.

Support Network:

Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and family who can provide emotional support and encouragement. Consider joining support groups with individuals who have similar experiences.

Positive Affirmations:

Practice positive affirmations to boost self-confidence and self-worth. Replacing negative self-talk with affirmations can be transformative. Be aware of how you speak to yourself. Use kind and loving words with yourself.

Professional Growth:

Invest in your personal development and growth. This can include setting and pursuing career goals, acquiring new skills, or exploring new interests. These practices build self-confidence and self-esteem.

Patience and Self-Compassion:

Understand that healing is a journey, and it may have its ups and downs. Be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion, especially during difficult moments.

Gradual Exposure:

If you’re dealing with specific phobias or anxieties related to trauma, consider gradual exposure therapy with a trained therapist to help desensitize those triggers.

Celebrate Progress:

Celebrate small victories along the way. Recognize and honor your progress, no matter how incremental it may seem.

Remember that the journey of letting go and healing is unique to each individual. It’s essential to find the strategies and approaches that work best for you. Seeking professional guidance and support from others who have been there and walked the journey to healing can be a crucial part of this process.

When you “let it go” you can expect several positive changes and transformations in your life. While the specific outcomes will vary from person to person, here are some general expectations:

Emotional Freedom:

Letting go allows you to release pent-up emotions, resentment, anger, or sadness. As a result, you’ll experience emotional freedom and relief from the weight of these negative feelings.

Increased Self-Awareness:

As you work through your past and let go of what no longer serves you, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of yourself. This self-awareness can be a powerful tool for personal growth and making better choices.

Improved Mental Health:

Letting go of trauma and negative experiences can lead to improved mental health. You’ll likely experience reduced anxiety, depression, and overall better psychological well-being.

Enhanced Self-Confidence:

As you heal and gain self-awareness, your self-confidence will naturally increase. You’ll believe in your ability to handle challenges and make positive decisions.

Better Relationships:

Letting go often involves forgiving yourself and others. This forgiveness can lead to healthier relationships as you release grudges and foster more empathetic and compassionate connections with others.

Greater Resilience:

Dealing with and letting go of difficult experiences builds resilience. You’ll be better equipped to face future challenges with a more resilient mindset.

Physical Well-Being:

Emotional healing can have a positive impact on physical health. Reduced stress and emotional baggage can lead to better sleep, improved immune function, and overall physical well-being.

Clarity of Goals and Priorities:

Letting go often involves reevaluating your life’s priorities and goals. You’ll gain clarity on what truly matters to you, which can guide you in making more purposeful decisions.

Opportunities for Growth:

Letting go opens up space for personal growth and new opportunities. You’ll be more open to trying new things, stepping out of your comfort zone, and pursuing your passions.

Happiness and Contentment:

Ultimately, the goal of letting go is to find happiness and contentment in your life. You’ll be better equipped to enjoy the present moment and look forward to the future with optimism.

It’s important to remember that the process of letting go is not a one-time event but an ongoing journey. Healing and personal growth take time, patience, and self-compassion. There may still be challenges and setbacks along the way, but with the right support and strategies, you can continue to move forward toward a more fulfilling and authentic life.

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Healing

Healing

To heal is to make whole.  To heal is to be happy.  Happiness and health go hand in hand.

When we are operating at our maximum potential we are happy, energetic, enthusiastic, and joyful.  We are a pleasure to be around, and we are social.  We like ourselves and others.

When illness, stress, worry, pain, anxiety and fear upset our biological balance.  We get cranky.

We complain, we have a difficult time to see the joy in the moment.  The items, activities, and people that would usually add  to our enjoyment, don’t.   Our thoughts turn to the lower energy frequencies of hopelessness, depression, anger and despair.  We want to rant, cry, bitch about something, anything, everything.    “I am not happy. I don’t feel good.  I am angry. I am disappointed.  I am despondent.  I am hurt.  My body hurts, my feelings hurt, my mind hurts.  I have no joy. No love, no fun, no goodness. Nothing good ever happens for me”

Peace to you my child. The goodness is always with you.  The peace resides within you.

There is a wonderful way to heal. It has been in existence since the beginning. It is pure.

Healing is a profound journey that extends beyond the conscious mind.  In reality, healing starts with the non-conscious.   It involves the creative energy that gives life to all living things.  The Latin word bios means life .

Zoran Hochstatter , expert, author, speaker, filmmaker, innovator in Biofield Therapy and the key educator behind Purebioenergy Training says, ” Bioenergy is the life sustaining force of the Universe.  There is no life without Bioenergy.”  

The information of health is contained within this bioenergy.  All forces of the universe, including human consciousness , are transformations of this cosmic energy.

Every living being has a biofield.  The biofield is the energetic, electro-magnetic essence of each living thing. It is  affected by the environment, our thoughts, and habits. The biofield communicates at the speed of light with every cell in our bodies.  The body is  self-healing.

Purebioenergy restores and balances bioenergetic information to activate the body’s own innate healing mechanisms.   Purebioenergy addresses the information/ frequency of Health , not illness.  Transmission of this information of Health, adjusts and balances the biofield to restore health on all the levels of the human existence – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

When a person is under stress, be it physical, mental or environmental, their immune system will break at its weakest point.   Cells become weak, misinformed, confused and do not function as they should.    

Information contained in this pure, coherent, all-knowing energy, helps reactivate the immune system to operate at its best.  The immune system spreads this performance-enhancing “information” to all the cells and enables the body to heal at source.  Bioenergy is intelligent and knows what the body needs.  This means it has the power to create or recreate well-being of the person.  It happens on the physical level, emotional level, the mental level and the spiritual level. ”  

Purebioenergy Healing Therapy is structured, precise and effective.

Healing happens when the whole is restored in it’s optimal state.  When your biofield is balanced, you are healthy and happy. Life flows through you.  Joy, confidence, peace, harmony fill you.  This journey may include a transformational shift in how one chooses to be in the world.   In so doing, you not only benefit yourself but the ripple effect of happy, healthy people will  be positive to all.   

Life is good.  

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Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the fragrance emitted by the violet as it is crushed by the heel that treads upon it. (Mark Twain)

Have you ever heard someone say, “I will say I am sorry but I am not going to forgive you.”

From a young age, we are taught forgive and forget. 

Just as  nutritionally, our cells grow from  what we consume, absorb the vitamins and detox the remainder.   Emotionally, spiritually to grow we also need to have an experience, learn from the experience, and detox what is not good for us.  Get rid of it. Let it go.

Imagine if the garbage did not get collected every 2 weeks.  How much rotting stuff would accumulate?  What would that do to the smell, and comfort of your home?  What would that waste attract? Mice, rats, flies, creepie crawlies?   If we do not take out the emotional refuse/garbage that stink, accumulates. It increases. 
There is a Proverbs saying bitterness rots the bones. A bitter mindset affects our whole being.  It rots the bones.  We are energetic beings.  Holding on to the hurts, pain, anger, feelings of betrayal locks us into a cycle of pain.  When one harbours an emotional pain, it will become a physical pain. To heal a physical pain, forgive an emotional pain. Forgiving releases the grip the pain has on you.  

Imagine the issue you have, with yourself or with someone else.  Holding the grudge, the hurt, the anger, and below the anger,  the fear hurts you.  You cannot receive anything when you have a closed hand. By holding onto these issues, we close our hands, and we close our hearts.  Eventually we poison our minds. To end this cycle, start at the high end.  Start with an old mediation prayer from Hawaii.

This is the prayer called The  Ho’oponopono .  It translates to the correction. It can be said with eyes closed. Think of the transgression, the person or the situation. Repeat this phrase aloud 7 or 8 times.

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

I love you.

Thank you.

The remorse, forgiveness, gratitude and love will change the energy.  Even if a person has passed away, or you are not speaking with them, say it.   There is always 2 sides to every disagreement.  Acknowledging our contribution, I am sorry.  Ask for forgiveness. Release.  Give forgiveness. Release. Love from the agape love, the humanity love, remembering we are love. Be thankful. Have gratitude for the lesson, the relationship, the past, the love.

It may take more than one time to release an old, imbedded hurt.  Keep at it. When the hurt arises, say it again.  This is for your well-being. Your heart health. Your body will be freer, or flexible.  Your thoughts will be clear and without malice or angst.  Your heart will be open.  You will be able to receive. Watch for the changes. Expect the miracles.

If you need help with this, contact us.  I have discovered that through Purebioenergy Healing Therapy many things I have encountered through life, I have been able to heal. To let go of the pain, worry, and bitterness that binds us.

This is a Big thing I had to forgive.  When I was in my early 30’s, I was going to a local Fertility Clinic . I had met Dr. Daya through the clinic on Pine St. in Kitchener.  He suggested to go to the MacMaster Clinic as it was superior to the clinic we had been attending.  After many tests, (many which I had already done), he recommended a surgical procedure that was quite significant. Cutting and changing the uterus shape, called a Tompkins Metroplasty.  I did not feel comfortable with this type of invasive procedure. It had a long 6 week recouperation period.  I declined.  He brought it back up at a meeting when my then husband( now ex) was present. My ex told me that I had to comply and get this surgery done.  Even while awaiting the surgery, my intuition was screaming at me. Get up, leave , just walk away.  I did have the surgery. It was shoddily completed with the students doing the final stitching up. There was damage to nerves, muscles were cut and not properly stitched. It created a ridge on my abdomen which has never flattened out.

A number of years later, I received a letter from MacMaster Hospital that an inquiry and lawsuit was in process, as this outdated surgical procedure by Dr. Daya had been done on women who did not even have the issue, the surgery was meant to correct.  I was one of those 35 women who did not have anything wrong with my uterus. It was healthy. Dr. Daya committed medical fraud, damaging 189 women, some permanently disabled as a result.   My physical body was damaged by him. My emotional body was affected resulting in a big lack of trust. There are many layers to this unnecessary trauma.  The only thing I can do is to address how I feel, and think and act.  I choose to heal.  During a Purebioenergy Healing Therapy healing session many years later, Zoran, my mentor, asked me whether there was something that I was angry about.  I didn’t think I was angry.  Unrecognized anger can show up looking like depression. I am grateful to say I have healed from this.  All of it. It no longer defines me in anyway. You can forgive and release carrying the burden of it.

What do you want to release, forgive and need to let go of?   

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. (Mark Twain)

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What Is the Truth?

Truth. There is a lot of talk around the word truth. Pontius Pilot asked Jesus, “What is truth?” We want everyone around us to tell us the truth even though we often do not want to hear the truth. Truth can hurt. We do everything we can to avoid hurt. Truth can also set us free. Truth can release the bonds of deceit, even release us from the lies we tell ourselves. You can handle the truth. We can handle the truth because the truth set us free. We are strong enough and courageous to look at the lies, turn them around and seek out the truth.

As much as we tell ourselves lies, we also tell ourselves truths. Can you imagine how different life would be if you decided to live being truthful to yourself?

Your body is your truth detector. You feel lies and truth in your body. The truth will bring you to a place of peace. A lie creates discord, and conflict. In your body a lie looks like an upset stomach. Your throat may be tight urging you to cough or clear your throat. You may experience back pain. Your blood pressure is elevated. Adrenaline pumps through your body.

When one engages in deceit, your respiratory and heart rate increases. You sweat, your mouth goes dry, and your voice can shake. Some of these physiological effects form the basis of the classic lie-detector (polygraph) test. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/pleased-meet-me/202001/the-truth-about-lying-and-what-it-does-the-body

When you lie your body is suffering. When you lie your brain gets overwhelmed and your cortisol level increases. Cortisol creates inflammation. Your memory goes into overdrive trying to remember the lie or the truth. Lying is detrimental to your health according to Arthur Markman Ph.D. Dr. Markman says, “The very second that lie leaves your lips your body releases cortisol into your brain. Just a few minutes later your memory goes into overdrive trying to remember both the lie and the truth. Decision making becomes more difficult and you could even project your discomfort as anger. This is all in the first 10 minutes.”

“The coherence between the heart and the brain brings alignment and decreases stress. Living a lie breaks the alignment. Living the truth strengthens the alignment.” www.heartmath.org

Notre Dame did a research project looking into lying. The study involved 110 volunteers. Half the volunteers agreed to stop lying and the other half received no instruction. At the end of 10 weeks the group that lied less often had 54% fewer mental complaints (like stress or anxiety) and 56% few physical health issues (like headaches or digestive issues). US News, How Lying Affects Your Health.

The jury is in. Lying affects your health. That includes lying to yourself. So, would you agree that lying to yourself needs to change?

Turn off your analytical brain. Converge with your body. When you engage in your head you neglect your emotions and the feelings in your body. Emotions provide a shortcut to your truth. You will feel the truth in your body. You will have a deep sense of peace and your mind will be clear when you begin living life being true to yourself. You will feel a sense of love, a sense of joy. You will be more patient. You will act out of kindness more often. You will have a soulful sense of goodness.

We have one exercise for you to try. This exercise does not take a long time. If you find the exercise difficult to do, be willing to try again later in the day or tomorrow. Keep trying until you become comfortable with this exercise. Have a pen and notebook with you to write down the revelations. If you are not into journaling use the voice recorder on your phone.

The Heart Intention Exercise

Sit or lie down. Get relaxed. If you are tired sitting may be better than laying down. Take a few deep breaths. Make sure your face is soft and your shoulders are away from your ears. Close your eyes. Envision one of your favourite places. It may be by the lake. It may be in the mountains. It may be on a beach. Breathe deep. Take in the surroundings. Smell the air. Hear the sounds. Take the time to go to a still quiet place and listen. Pay attention to your body. Let everything fall away from your consciousness. (This is where I usually fall asleep. 😴) Resist the urge to sleep. Keep in mind that your heart will always tell you the truth. If you have someone with you, they can ask you the following questions. If you are alone, ask them to yourself aloud.

Ask a few questions and wait for the answers.

What is my truth?

What would you have me do?

What would you have me say?

Where am I to go?

Listen.

If you have a belief in God, ask God to reveal His truth about you to you. I asked this question in 2019. I still stand amazed at how He revealed His truth about me to me throughout that year.

The truth is your heart is 60,000 times more powerful than your brain. Attend to your heart. What is your hearts desire? Put your hands on your heart and listen.

The truth is you are loveable.

The truth is whatever you set your mind to; you can achieve.

The truth is you are becoming the woman you are designed to be.

The truth is you are beautiful.

The truth is you are enough just as you are.

The truth is you are intelligent.

The truth is you are of sound mind and body.

The truth is you have a spirit of power and love.

The truth is you are not alone.

The truth is your past is forgivable.

The truth is your emotions matter, especially to you.

The truth is you deserve all the good coming your way.

The truth is there is someone out there that understands.

The truth is what happened yesterday does not need to happen tomorrow.

The truth is you CAN change your life. Change your thoughts, change your life.

The truth is mistakes are opportunities to learn.

The truth is you are responsible for your actions, no one else’s actions.

The truth is we are a community. We are meant for community. Please feel free to say what you feel inside this community.

When you listen to your heart you establish a new baseline to improve your health and emotional experience. Listening to the truth in your heart builds deeper intuition and internal guidance, a new sense of clarity. As you live your truth, feelings of love and compassion create a cascade of positive effects throughout the body such as clear thinking, emotional stability, and better choices. Living your truth creates balance and cooperation instead of competition and stress. https://www.heartmath.org/science/

Every day for the month of December, Rose and Judy are going to do the Heart Intention Exercise. We know we are creating positive change for how we will go into 2023. We invite you to join us on this excursion.

Take 10 minutes to do this Heart Intention Exercise. Feel your life improve as you create coherence.

Share your experience.

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What Happens When Our Values Are Conflicted

When we conflict with our values, we are not whole. We are not well. When our values are conflicted, we are not grounded. We flit about. Pulled this way. Pushed that way. When our values are conflicted, we are influenced by others’ opinions and trends. When our values are conflicted, we can be indecisive, unsure, and misled.

Our values connect our heart and our head. We need to be clear on our values, the ones imprinted on our hearts. You can tell your head anything, but you cannot tell your heart just anything. Your heart knows. When our heart and our head are conflicted, it creates incoherence. We are confused and unclear of who we are and what we are doing. Living outside our values is living a lie.

When our values are conflicted our spirit resonance is restricted. A spirit resonance is when our purpose is task and spiritually oriented. We honour ourselves and others and we care for all things. “Living in a spiritual resonance is fun, positive, enlightening, spiritual, bonding, caring, and validating. It is safe, meaningful, hopeful, compassionate, educational, inviting, engaging, connected, authentic, and provocative.” (https://www.taosinstitute.net/files/Content/5692967/whitney_AI-Creating-Spiritual-Resonance.pdf)  Imagine living your life outside of these beautiful values.

Our internal world compass conflicts with what we are presenting to the external world. The internal compass is the part of you that is your soul. This part of you is all-knowing, all-loving, all-powerful, creative, and limitless. When you connect to your inner compass you are fearless, confident, and calm. When your values are conflicted, you experience separation from your soul. Fears, anxiety, and self-doubt take control. You wear masks to present yourself to the world. Your true self is hiding, and you become a shell of your person resulting in depression.

In an abusive relationship you pretend it is not so bad. You quiet the conflicting values. Whenever there is abuse in a relationship trust is broken and sadly one of the biggest trust issues is trusting ourselves. When we let others make our decisions, we learn to distrust our own structures and beliefs. You distrust what you know to be true. When you distrust what you know to be true your foundation is shattered. You second guess most or all your decisions. How can you improve your daily life when each moment is shifting? You struggle to find your footing.

Another emotion that appears with conflicted values is fear. This one is H U G E for most of us. We often react from a place of fear. Fear isolates us from our own emotions and other people, tasks, or things. A threat of losing something is present and we act out of fear. Fear rises when a need of ours will possibly go unfulfilled. Fear can also emerge from memories. Have you ever said, “I’ve seen this before.” or “Here we go again.”? These phrases come out of memories and our fears appear as present and threatening.

Other emotions that appear with conflicted values are frustration and hurt. Values are at the root of all frustration and hurt. The frustrations and hurts are more about what value of ours has been challenged. I was often frustrated in my marriage because my husband procrastinated. Was I frustrated because of his procrastination and incomplete project and chores? I thought so before I did some work with values. I realized I was frustrated because I value integrity and play time. Work not getting done equaled my missing play time. That was unacceptable. I believe play time is essential to a healthy body, mind, and spirit. Play time puts me in touch with my inner child. And I like my inner child a lot!

Our next blog post will give actions on ways to correct conflicted values.

We look forward to reading your comments. Do you have a burning issue you would like us to address? Post it in the comments below. We are here to serve you.