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Fortunes: A Feminine Shift in Perspective

There’s a softness that settles over us when we begin to see our lives not through the lens of what’s missing, but through the warm, golden light of what is.

This week, amidst the rush of retreat planning, our Women’s Wisdom Wednesdays, the rhythm of upcoming trainings, bookkeeping, and the focus demanded by a grant application, and a battle with ants, I found myself pausing.

I purposefully enjoyed a quiet moment, with a mug of tea in hand. I had read a passage from Ryan Holiday’s The Daily Stoic, where he shared reflections on Marcus Aurelius and the idea of fortune. And what I read settled into my heart like a seed in fertile soil.

Marcus Aurelius, a Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, lived a life that would challenge the strongest of us. Wars. Plagues. The death of nine of his children. A failing body. Yet never do we see him collapse under the weight of grief or bitterness.

Instead, he writes:

“I was once a fortunate man,” he writes, “and at some point, fortune abandoned me.” Even here he counters to himself with hope. “True good fortune is what you make for yourself,” he writes. “Good fortune: good character, good intentions, and good actions.” Whenever he speaks of his ‘misfortune,’ he quickly corrects himself. “No, it’s fortunate that this happened,” he writes. “It’s fortunate that this happened and I’ve remained unharmed by it.”

He reframes misfortune as opportunity.

Pain as a proving ground.

Loss as a teacher.

His words shine not because they ignore suffering, but because they hold it tenderly and choose to grow anyway.

True fortune, he said, is not what happens to us, but how we choose to meet it.

And that, my dear, changes everything.

Reimagining Fortune in Our Modern Lives

How often do we count our fortunes based on what is in our bank account or what we don’t yet have?

The dream house.

The bigger bank account.

The better body.  

The perfect partner.

The world around us, especially through the shiny lens of TikTok reels and curated Instagram feeds, whispers constantly:

You need more.

You deserve more.

You should want more.

And we listen.

We scroll through highlight reels of strangers and start to feel dull in comparison.

We buy the latest skincare line, kitchen gadget, self-improvement or exercise program hoping it will finally fill that mysterious, nagging gap inside us.

But more stuff doesn’t satisfy the ache. Doing more does not satisfy the ache.

It only adds clutter. Clutter to our homes, our computers and yes, but more deeply, to our minds and hearts.

Our judgment becomes clouded, not by a lack of wisdom, but by a culture that makes us feel like what we already hold isn’t enough, that we are not enough.

The Treasure We Already Hold

When we pause – truly pause – we can begin to see the richness already woven into our lives.

Not riches in the traditional sense, but the kind that feeds our soul.

Like:

  • The soft strength of a woman who’s survived heartbreak and still opens her heart again.
  • The quiet courage it takes to begin again after loss or betrayal.
  • The peace found in a morning coffee.
  • A walk to look at spring’s first blooms.
  • Or the giggle of a child.
  • The way our bodies carry us – even if aching, even if weary – toward healing.

These, too, are fortunes. They are treasures.

When we tend to these inner riches with love and awareness, our desire for more stuff begins to soften. We no longer chase the next shiny object, or the next generation of smart phones.

We cultivate the gems already nestled in our own lives.

Clearing the Clutter to See Clearly Again

Letting go of unnecessary things—physical and emotional—creates space for clarity. Not just in our closets, but in our choices. In our relationships. In our sense of self.

Every item we own, every piece of decor and drawer of untouched makeup, carries a story or an expectation. And when those stories are born from “not enoughness,” we end up weighed down by the very things we thought would set us free.

Marcus Aurelius reminds us that freedom is an inner state. It comes not from what we accumulate, but from how we think, how we act, and how we choose to rise.

“Good fortune: good character, good intentions, and good actions.”

So maybe we can ask ourselves:

  • What if I am already fortunate?
  • What if everything I truly need to feel full, to feel purposeful, to feel loved… is already within and around me?
  • What if fortune is not a prize to earn, but a presence to notice?

A Gentle Invitation

Today, I invite you to look around your life with softer eyes. Notice the beauty in what you already hold—the laugh lines on your face, the friend who texted “thinking of you,” the sunbeam warming your favorite chair.

Notice your own heart’s resilience. Its desire to grow. Its capacity for joy, even in sorrow.

You are not lacking, darling. You are layered in riches this world can’t always measure.

So, take a breath.

Release the chase.

And let fortune be something you make by living well, loving deeply, and choosing—again and again—to see the good.

Even in hardship.

Especially then.

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Stress, Distress, Eustress and You

As we go along this path called life, we may at some points find ourselves in situations, environments, relationships, or circumstances that we consider stressful.  These bumps along the road, which can, at times feel more like craters rather than just a pothole to avoid, impact us in many ways.    No human is immune to times of stress. Even Queen Elizabeth II had what she phrased as her “annus horribilis”.

”1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an annus horribilis”

 Stress is considered part of life.  But what exactly is stress?

Hans Selye, a pioneering endocrinologist, introduced the concept of “stress” in a medical context and developed the General Adaptation Syndrome model to describe the body’s response to stressors.

The physical, chemical, and biological responses in his theory of resistance or adaptation after an injury.  “Stress,” Selye insisted, “is essentially the rate of all the wear and tear caused by life.”1  Selye identified these stages as alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Understanding these different responses and how they relate to each other may help you cope with stress. The Alarm stage is the immediate response to an event, imagine being cut off while driving in heavy traffic, your heart rate and breathing increase, you may swear, and feel tense. Once the danger passes your heart rate , breathing return to normal.  The fight-or-flight or freeze response that occurs in the alarm stage is for your protection. A higher hormone level of cortisone, or adrenaline is for your benefit. It provides you with energy and improves your concentration so you can focus and tackle the situation. When stress is short-term or short-lived, the alarm stage isn’t harmful.

Some stressful situations, like going through a divorce, or a high stress job continue for extended periods of time. If the stress is not resolved, your body remains on high alert, it eventually adapts and learns how to live with a higher stress level. In this stage, the body goes through changes that you may not be conscious of to cope with stress.

Your body continues to secrete the stress hormones and your blood pressure remains elevated. You may think you’re managing stress well, but your body’s physical response tells a different story. If the resistance stage continues for too long without the break needed to reset, restore and recover to offset the effects of stress, this can lead to the exhaustion stage.  Resistance stage includes irritability, frustration and poor concentration. Sleep is interrupted, not as deep, and does not get to the necessary stage of cell renewal.

The exhaustion stage is the result of prolonged, chronic stress.  Exhaustion stage happens when your physical, emotional and mental resources are drained to the point where you can no longer have the strength to fight stress. A little event may be what breaks the proverbial camels back.  Hopelessness, fatigue, burnout, depression and anxiety are indicators, of this stage.  Decreased stressed tolerance and decreased immunity also factor in.   The physical effects put you at risk for stress-related illness.

  When does stress become a problem?  What can we do to counter the effects of stress?

​  The specific ranking of life events by stress level, known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), was developed by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967. This scale assigns Life Change Units (LCUs) to various life events to quantify their stress impact. The top 10 stress-inducing life events according to the SRRS are:​

  1. Death of a spouse – 100 LCUs​
  2. Divorce – 73 LCUs​
  3. Marital separation – 65 LCUs​
  4. Imprisonment – 63 LCUs​
  5. Death of a close family member – 63 LCUs​
  6. Personal injury or illness – 53 LCUs​
  7. Marriage – 50 LCUs​
  8. Dismissal from work – 47 LCUs​
  9. Marital reconciliation – 45 LCUs​
  10. Retirement – 45 LCUs​

These events are considered significant stressors that may increase the risk of health issues. It’s important to note that individual responses to these events can vary, and personal coping mechanisms play a crucial role in managing stress. ​ Remember, this prognosis may not be true in all cases for all people. It depends on the individual. The belief system they have, the support they have, and the coping mechanisms they employ.  A marriage is happy occasion so why would it be on the list? A marriage brings with it change. Change is not a bad thing and is often a necessary requirement to advancement and growth. It is how we perceive change that creates either a resistance or enhancement response in us.  A wedding can be stressful due to the perceived obligations, we put upon ourselves. It can also be a joyous celebration of the love we share.  Eustress is a positive stress. It is performance enhancing, often a short-term experience where one has perceived control, and it improves well-being. Imagine studying for a big exam, or interview, excelling at it, and the confidence, joy and courage you receive because of your efforts.  The impetus, the push either from yourself or a coach, parent, mentor, advisor, trainer is needed to get you to do the work required to reach your full potential.  That is one of the reasons for deadlines.  Humans are motivated by either the pleasure of reward, or by the avoidance of the pain, disappointment, or penalty or embarrassment of not doing the ‘thing’.  The whole income tax system in this country is precipitated by this principle.  How many people find doing their tax return to be stressful?   It is the reward at the end of a challenge that we focus on.  This is true of so many projects, endeavors, goals we set. There may well be frustrations along the path to the goal.  Focus on the result. Jeff Kranos tell us that “Acute short-term stress in the human body confers a health benefit and activates pathways that promote longevity and resilience.”  Good Stress. To build muscle, the muscle fibres need to be worked beyond their current capacity. Then rest is required, nutrition to fuel the growth of the muscle before the muscle is ready to be worked again.  Good Stress.

 Distress on the other hand, decreases performance. It can come with emotional, physical, and mental symptoms including but not limited to, back pain, headaches, digestive issues, irritability, emotional outburst of anger, tears, sadness,  apathy, lack of self-care, vision issues, sleep disturbances, mood swings, and brain fog or lack of focus or feelings of overwhelm.  If we stay in Distress for too long, it can lead to more serious issues like depression, high blood pressure, adrenal, hormonal and heart concerns. Distress can lead to dis ease.  Distress doesn’t allow for the rest and recovery period.  Our minds, bodies and emotions need to have a rest period to renew, restore and grow.

The Good News is:  You have the keys to change the outcome.  Our beautiful brains have plasticity. Most our bodies cells renew daily. Your biofield contains the energy of life.  It gives you the energy to live well. Bioenergy, the energy of life, provides us with the energy, needed to live. When the bioenergy is gone, the body is life-less.  Bio means life.   So be good to your biofield. “The body is an energy system in constant energetic interaction with its environment.”  “Healing happens on a non-conscious level through a transformation of the way you think and act.” Z. Hochstatter.  Our thoughts create.  It is essential to watch your thoughts.

Here is a list of practical things you can do starting today to help balance your stress levels.

1: Identify whether you are stressed. Just because something is happening outside of you, does not mean you need to stress about it.  You can choose whether you want it to concern you or not.  2: Identify your stressor. Is it a physical environment, work environment,  personal relationship, your self-image? Are your thoughts destructive to your peace of mind?   Are you at battle with your values?

 3: Identify the reason for stressor. Can you change your location if it is too noisy, or the temperature is irritating?  Is it an internal or external stressor?  Are there steps you can take to change?  Now make a plan.  

 4: Identify and apply an appropriate stress management strategy.  You can make changes to how you are living. Sit down and write a list of what is bothering you.  Leave space to write in the answers/solutions to the concerns.  Make another list of how you would like your life to be.  Be specific.

Ask yourself what habits are detrimental to your well-being?  What are you doing to bring joy into your daily life?  Can you speak with a trusted friend, counsellor or therapist?

 DO some physical activity, preferably outside!  Walking for 25 minutes a day has been proven to lower blood pressure and improve the metabolic rate.  Look at your diet. Sugar is a killer. Sugar feeds cancer and disrupts hormones.  (  I like cake on special occasions too.  A delicious chocolate cake brings me joy. One of the things that make it special is that it is a special occasional treat, not a staple food:} I bless it and eat it.

Every month Rose and I offer a PureBioenergy Healing Therapy for Stress Reduction. We know that stress causes 80% or more of all illnesses. “The energy we work with is informed. It is creative. This means it has the power to create or recreate the well-being of the person. When this happens, it happens on all levels. It happens on the physical level, emotional level, mental level and spiritual level. “We don’t address the illness, we address the health.” Zoran Hochstatter – 3 Chairs.  Sign up for and attend the 4 day PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online.    Experience the change that happens when you start to be healthy, happy and joyful.  Private PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is available in person or by distance for specific issues or ailments as well. You can reach me at [email protected] to set up an appointment.   The reason we offer a monthly PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online is that it provides a consistent method to balance stress so  you do not get to the exhaustive stage.  Here is the link to be put on the mailing list for our monthly healing events.

2024 was a highly stressful year for me, and my family.  I give credit to God, prayer and PureBioenergy Healing Therapy which I asked for, paid for, and received the many benefits of mental, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am grateful for the friends that checked in, walked with me, and made me laugh along the way.  Stress can make us a stronger, resilient compassionate person.  We manage stress, so it does not control us.

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PureBioenergy Healing Therapy: A Gentle Path to Healing and Renewal

As women, especially those who have endured trauma, we often find ourselves feeling disconnected, isolated, exhausted, and lost—sometimes not knowing who we are anymore or where we are headed. But healing is possible. 

It doesn’t have to be complicated or overwhelming. It can be gentle, like a warm embrace that reminds you of the love and light within. That’s where PureBioenergy Healing Therapy comes in—a soothing and powerful tool we use in our practice to help women rediscover their inner strength and peace.

PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is a powerful way of energy healing without any cultural, political, religious, ritualistic or medical additives. 

What is the Biofield?

Our bodies are not just physical; we also have a subtle, energetic body that surrounds and interpenetrates us. This energetic body is often referred to as the “biofield.” It’s an invisible field of energy that exists around and within each of us, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and overall well-being. Imagine this biofield as a soft, radiant glow that extends a few feet around your body, like the warmth you feel when you stand near a cozy fire. When the biofield is balanced and in harmony, we feel vibrant, clear, and at peace. But when it’s disrupted—whether by trauma, stress, or negative emotions—we can experience illness, physical pain, emotional turmoil, or even a loss of our sense of self.

What is PureBioenergy Healing Therapy?

PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is a gentle yet highly effective technique that works with the biofield to restore balance and healing. This creative life force energy brings in wellness to release stored emotions. It restores and maintains the body at the source and at all levels. It rejuvenates the body, relieves pain and speeds injury recovery. PureBioenergy naturally boosts peak performance. 

Think of it as tuning a musical instrument. When the strings are out of tune, the music sounds off. But when tuned, everything flows harmoniously, producing beautiful sounds.

This healing modality helps women who have experienced trauma by addressing not just the physical symptoms, but the emotional and energetic imbalances that can arise from such experiences. 

In our practice, we’ve seen it work wonders for those who’ve struggled with feelings of fear, guilt, shame, and confusion. PureBioenergy works gently and effectively, offering emotional relief and fostering a deep sense of connection with one’s true self.

How Does PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Interact with the Biofield?

When we perform PureBioenergy Healing Therapy, we connect with a person’s biofield and work to identify and clear any energetic blockages or disturbances. We do this by using our hands, or sometimes even just focusing with our minds, to gently manipulate the energy field. By restoring harmony to the biofield, we are able to help the person release stuck emotions and energy that may be causing them distress. It’s like untangling a knot in a necklace—once the blockage is removed, the energy can flow freely again.

Judy, our Certified Pro PureBioenergy Healing Therapist badly injured her back. She had compressed 4 lower vertebrae weight training.  X-rays showed deteriorated discs.   Her chiropractor told her to put away the running shoes as the damage would prevent her from running, let alone competing again.  At that time, she could not even tie her own shoes. Pain was extreme to the point of nausea.   

She called Zoran Hochstatter, the official teacher of PureBioenergy. He did distance PureBioenergy Healing therapy for her.   The deteriorated discs healed; the pain totally went away. Judy was able to walk, then run and completed in the Badass Dash, a 7 km obstacle course run fundraising for Autism 3 months later.  Judy has personally healed from broken wrists, concussions, sciatica, menopausal issues, and most recently kidney stones, all using PureBioenergy Healing Therapy.   

How Does Distance Healing Work, and Why Does It Work?

You might be wondering, “How can energy healing work from a distance?” It’s a valid question, and one that many of our clients ask when they first learn about PureBioenergy Healing. The idea of distance healing can feel a bit abstract, but the truth is, energy is not confined to physical space. Just as we can feel a friend’s presence even when they are far away or think about someone and immediately feel connected to them, energy flows freely through space and time.

Distance healing works because energy is not limited to our physical senses. It’s like the wind—it may be invisible, but you can feel it on your face and see the trees moving. When we perform distance PureBioenergy Healing Therapy, we connect to the person’s biofield in the same way we would if they were in the room with us. We tune into their energy field and work to restore balance, no matter the distance. The connection happens at an energetic level, transcending physical boundaries.

An Easy Explanation of the Science Behind Distance Healing

Now, you may still be wondering about the science behind all of this, and that’s perfectly okay. Let’s break it down into simpler terms. 

The principle behind distance healing is based on quantum physics and the idea that everything in the universe is connected by energy. At the subatomic level, we are all made of tiny particles—atoms and molecules—that are constantly vibrating and emitting energy. When you think about it, we’re all just energy interacting with other energy.

Quantum physics has discovered that particles can be “entangled,” meaning that two particles can become linked in such a way that the state of one particle directly affects the other, even if they are far apart. This phenomenon, known as “quantum entanglement,” shows us that energy doesn’t adhere to the rules of space and time. In a way, it’s like sending a signal through an invisible channel that connects you to another person’s energy.

In the context of PureBioenergy Healing, we use this quantum connection to tap into a person’s biofield and facilitate healing from a distance. Whether you’re sitting across the room or across the world, the energy flows just the same. Your biofield remains accessible, and the healing process can unfold regardless of physical location.

Why It Works for Traumatized Women

For women who have experienced trauma, the ability to receive healing from a distance is incredibly powerful. It provides a safe, non-invasive way to release emotional pain and find balance. 

There’s no need to rehash painful memories or relive past trauma; instead, the energy healing works to release the blockages caused by these experiences, offering peace and comfort without the need for extensive talking or reliving the past. It’s like taking a step back from the storm and allowing the healing energy to work from the outside in, gently bringing you back to your true self.

I’ve personally witnessed the profound transformation this therapy has brought to many people. Trudy came to us after years of struggling with anxiety and emotional scars from a difficult past. After a series of PureBioenergy sessions, she was able to find peace within herself and her surroundings. She no longer felt burdened by her past, and she learned to live fully in the present moment. For Trudy, the distance healing sessions were a blessing, allowing her to heal in the comfort of her own space while being fully supported by the energy that connected us.

Are You Ready to Reclaim Your Inner Peace and Vitality?

Imagine breaking free from the weight of past trauma and stepping into a life of clarity, balance, and confidence—all from the comfort of your own home. 

If you’re feeling ready to reconnect with your true self, boost your immune system, release past trauma, and embrace a life of peace and vitality, I warmly invite you to join us for our upcoming 

PureBioenergy Healing Event,

happening

February 10, 11, 12, and 13, 2025 at 7:30 pm EDT.

This 30-minute online event will offer a soothing, healing experience that you can participate in from the comfort of your own home.

Click here to reserve your spot now and experience the gentle, powerful healing energy of PureBioenergy Therapy for yourself.

Your future self will thank you for this moment of courage and self-care. 

Remember, healing is a journey, and you don’t have to walk it alone. Judy and I are here to support you every step of the way with solution-based methods of self-discovery and PureBioenergy Healing Therapy to help you find balance, clarity, and peace, no matter where you are.

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Power! It’s All in Your Head.

The kettle whistles softly in the background as you sit across from me at the kitchen table. The scent of Constant Comment tea fills the air, and I slide a warm mug in front of you. You’ve come to me with a heaviness in your heart, searching for answers or maybe just a listening ear.

We’ve all been there—feeling stuck, unsure of the next step, and hoping for something or someone to swoop in and make it all better. But my dear, let me tell you something that took me far too long to learn.

Everything you need is already within you.

The Search for Solutions

“You know,” I begin, taking a sip of my tea, “we often look outside ourselves for solutions. We think, ‘If only someone could fix this for me’ or ‘Maybe there’s a magic pill to make it all go away.’ But the truth is, the power to change your life is sitting right between your ears. It’s all in your head.”

You tilt your head, intrigued but skeptical. “In my head? How do you mean?”

“Your thoughts,” I say, setting down my mug. “What you think about—how you talk to yourself—creates your reality.

When you focus on complaints and what’s wrong, you stay stuck. But if you shift your focus to possibilities and solutions, that’s where change begins.”

The Trap of Complaining

“Let’s talk about complaining for a minute,” I continue. “It feels good in the moment, doesn’t it? Like letting steam out of a pressure cooker. But here’s the problem: complaining keeps you chained to the negative. It’s like planting weeds in your garden and wondering why nothing beautiful grows.”

You nod slowly, stirring your tea. “I do complain a lot,” you admit. “But it’s hard not to when things feel so overwhelming.”

“I get it,” I say gently. “Life throws curveballs, and sometimes it feels like a storm that never ends. But here’s the question you need to ask yourself: Would you rather complain, or would you rather make a change? You can’t have both.”

The Power of Awareness

“So where do I start?” you ask, leaning forward.

“The first step is awareness,” I say. “You have to tune in to your thoughts. Pay attention to what’s occupying your mind. Are you dwelling on problems, or are you thinking about solutions? Awareness is like turning on the lights in a dark room. You can’t clean up the mess if you don’t see it.”

“That makes sense,” you say. “But how do I figure out why I’m thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Good question,” I say with a smile. “Let me share what helped me to tune in and start making changes.”

Three Steps to Tune In and Make a Change

Step 1: Listen Without Judgment

“First, you have to listen to your thoughts without judging them.

Imagine you’re a curious scientist studying your own mind. Carry a small notebook or use a note app on your phone, and jot down the recurring thoughts you notice throughout the day.

Don’t try to fix them yet; just observe.”

“Even the negative ones?” you ask.

“Especially the negative ones,” I say. “Those are the ones that hold clues about what’s really bothering you.”

Step 2: Ask Why

“Once you’ve identified a thought, ask yourself why it’s there.

Let’s say you keep thinking, ‘I’ll never be good enough.’

Ask yourself: Where does that belief come from? Did someone plant that seed in your mind years ago? Is it based on facts, or is it just a story you’ve been telling yourself?

“The goal is to uncover the root of the thought. When you understand where it comes from, you can decide whether it’s serving you or holding you back.”

Step 3: Choose Your Focus

“Here’s the fun part,” I say, leaning in. “You get to choose what you focus on.

Think of your mind like a radio dial. If you’re tuned into the 66.6 am station ‘Complain and Despair’, switch the dial to 101.1 ‘Hope and Solutions.’

What do you want to create in your life? What small step can you take today to move in that direction?”

“Small steps,” you repeat. “That feels doable.”

“Exactly,” I say. “Change doesn’t happen overnight, but every positive thought, every small action, plants seeds of transformation. And before you know it, your garden starts to bloom.”

The Power of Choice

“Let me tell you something,” I say, looking you in the eye. “You are more powerful than you realize.

The moment you decide to take control of your thoughts, you reclaim your power. It’s not about being perfect or never feeling negative.

It’s about making a choice—over and over again—to focus on what lifts you up rather than what drags you down.”

You sit back, a small smile playing on your lips. “So it really is all in my head, isn’t it?”

“It is,” I say, “but that’s the best news of all. Because if it’s in your head, it means you have the power to change it. And that, my dear, is where your strength lies.”

Moving Forward

As we finish our tea, you seem lighter, as if a tiny spark of hope has been ignited. Change might not be easy, but it’s possible.

And it starts with a simple decision: to tune in, to listen, and to choose.

So, what will you choose today?

Judy and I have published a new book which can help you change the way you think about yourself, called “Belief Blossoms”.

Click here to grab your free copy.

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I’m Sorry. I’m Not Sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry you had to endure heartbreak so heavy it felt like your world would never be the same.

I’m sorry you experienced loss so profound that the hole it left seemed impossible to fill.

I’m sorry you were a victim of betrayal by someone you trusted deeply.

I’m sorry your dreams were crushed when life took an unexpected turn.

I’m sorry you endured moments when your voice was silenced.

I’m sorry your confidence was shaken by cruel words or thoughtless actions.

I’m sorry your spirit was bruised by rejection.

I’m sorry you carried burdens that were never yours to hold.

I’m sorry you had to navigate the storm of loneliness when all you wanted was connection.

I’m sorry your worth was questioned, even by yourself.

I’m sorry your boundaries were ignored or disrespected.

I’m sorry your body carried pain that seemed unrelenting.

I’m sorry your heart was crushed by unspoken goodbyes.

I’m sorry you faced fear so overwhelming it stole your peace.

I’m sorry your potential was doubted by those who couldn’t see your light.

I’m sorry your joy was dimmed by circumstances beyond your control.

I’m sorry your dreams were dismissed as impossible.

I’m sorry your resilience was underestimated.

I’m sorry your trust was broken, leaving scars you still feel today.

I’m sorry your love was not valued the way it deserved to be.

I’m sorry you were told you were “not enough.”

I’m sorry your boundaries were pushed until they crumbled.

I’m sorry your strength was used against you.

I’m sorry your kindness was taken for weakness.

I’m sorry your dreams were delayed by the weight of responsibilities.

I’m sorry your vulnerability was met with judgment.

I’m sorry your hopes were dashed by circumstances out of your hands.

I’m sorry your courage went unnoticed.

I’m sorry you felt unseen in your moments of greatest need.

But I’m NOT sorry.

I’m not sorry you survived every single one of these moments.

I’m not sorry you are here, reading this, ready to embrace what’s next.

I’m not sorry you showed strength even when it felt like you had none left.

I’m not sorry you’ve discovered resilience you never knew you had.

I’m not sorry you’ve become wiser because of what you’ve endured.

I’m not sorry you get to choose what your life looks like from this day forward.

I’m not sorry you have the chance to grow and evolve into the person you’ve always been meant to be.

I’m not sorry your beauty is blooming now, like the most radiant flower.

I’m not sorry you get to create a life you’re proud of.

I’m not sorry you get to decide that life happens for you, not to you.

I’m not sorry you have the opportunity to rewrite your story.

I’m not sorry you can embrace your strengths and heal your heart.

I’m not sorry you get to surround yourself with people who truly see your value.

I’m not sorry you can choose to let go of the past and step into the light of your future.

I’m not sorry you are unstoppable.

Choices Are Yours to Make

Life is all about choices. Doing nothing is a choice. But doing nothing often keeps us trapped in the same cycles, the same pain, and the same doubts. Choosing to stay the same has its consequences, just as choosing to step forward into something new has its rewards.

When you choose to take responsibility for your life, you give yourself the greatest gift.

Releasing the responsibility for others—for their choices, their emotions, their paths—frees you to focus on your own journey. It’s not easy, but it’s empowering.

Your heart may feel broken, your body may ache, but you still have the power to choose.

Whether you place your trust in doctors and traditional medicine, explore alternative therapies, or begin engaging deeply with your soul, the choice is yours. Today is your day to choose.

If you’re ready to do things differently, Judy and I are here. We’ve been where you are. We’ve faced physical, emotional, and spiritual pain. We’ve doubted ourselves, and yes, we still face those moments. The difference now is how we move through them—how we rise.

We believe in a better way. A way where you embrace your strength and your value. A way where you learn to love yourself fiercely, so you can radiate that love to others.

Start Today

Right here, right now, is your time. You are strong. Look at everything you’ve survived. Look at where you are now.

Let’s honor that strength together. Let’s take the first step toward loving yourself more deeply than ever before.

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Blog Posts Handling Life
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Knowledge vs Information

People are curious creatures.  We want to know stuff. The quest to know something is so great, that search engines are one of the most valued commodities in the world today.

The Google Search engine has 22,083,870,968 queries per day, that is 255,600 per second.  That is a lot of queries.  What are people searching for?  What are we seeking?

We are bombarded with information.  There are so many venues that provide constant information today, that it takes a conscious effort to reduce our consumption, or to cut ourselves off completely.  Cellphones, computers, podcasts, streaming services, social media, television, radio are competing for our attention.  At the present time, I cannot open my phone without seeing ads. This is before I put my password into my cellphone.  A bit frustrating, yes. 

Not long ago the daily news was delivered via a newspaper, or by radio or on the television twice a day.  The 6 o’clock news or the 10 or 11 o’clock news.  I remember sitting with my Dad as he drank his coffee with cream watching the Evening News.  The news then was curated from journalists.  At one time, I considered a career in journalism.  My Dad would say things like “Don’t take the news too seriously, there are more important things in life.”. 

Today much of which we are receiving is an opinion. It is a based on someone’s interpretation of fact.  What if their interpretation is flawed? TicTok, X, Instagram, and Facebook show quick bits meant to invoke emotional response. There may be entertainment value, if a cute cat picture makes one smile.   There may even be pause for thought.  Our Wounded Women Rising Facebook and Instagram accounts have daily inspirational quotes or thoughts and photos to help promote a positive life experience.

As the volume of information increases, does a person’s knowledge expand?

When one learns something new, for example a new skill, or a new way of thinking; the new information is wired in, by the repetition.  Have you ever driven a standard automobile?  You can receive the information on how to use the clutch and the stick,  the gas and brake pedals, but until you can stop on a hill, without rolling back, you don’t know how to drive a standard.  At the point when you will have mastered the sweet spot, then you know how to drive a standard.  You have confidence in your ability to drive.  That confidence empowers you to get on the highway and go to new places and have new experiences. The confidence in your ability is what drives you. 

What is knowledge?

My mentor Zoran Hochstatter says of PureBioenergy Healing Therapy the knowledge comes from the doing. In his book, 3 Chairs he states, “With the knowledge comes an enormous responsibility. The knowledge grows with practice and the joy of learning, and this leads to more personal growth.”

The information that we are subjected to on a daily basis can be a big distraction from seeking wisdom.  How often to you find yourself doom scrolling? Just mindlessly scrolling through FB or Instagram and how do you feel afterwards?  Time slipped by and what have we gained from it.

“Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is potential power. .Knowledge is trumped every day by execution.” says Tony Robbins 

 Henry W. Wright writes:  “The beginning of all wisdom begins with knowledge. You cannot have wisdom unless you first have knowledge.  You cannot have wisdom if you do not preface it with knowledge. Knowledge apart from wisdom is foolishness.”  From the book,” A More Excellent Way”.

Knowledge is a gift to us, but we must ask for it and seek it.  And upon receiving it, use it. Psalm 119.66 NLT “For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy.”

As we go along in this life, may we gain in knowledge. Let’s share what we learned and remember to treat each other with respect and kindness.  When the opportunity presents itself, walk in nature.  Find the quiet and ask God to give you what you seek. I believe that God will give us both peace and the answers that we are seeking. “Ask and it will be given to you, seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Matthew7.7-8. The Old and the New Testament are filled with verses on knowledge, wisdom and peace.  It’s worth a query.



Healing Practices
Featured

Transformation – Hello You!

Have you had the experience of losing yourself? I have had this experience so often in my life that I nearly had a breakdown. I remember sitting on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands feeling as if I didn’t exist, only my body did. I was crushed, broken and an empty shell. I had no worth, no existence and I wanted to die.

I also remember having the experience of walking past a mirror, catching a glimpse of myself and saying “Hello You! Where have you been hiding?

You may not have had an experience quite like this but we have all experienced the notion of Who Am I?

It is quite common for a woman to get caught up in being a partner/spouse, mother, friend, daughter, professional, Ms. Fixit, superwoman; all-knowing, all-seeing wonder of the world and lover. Where does she find herself in all of these roles? My gosh, just reading this makes me think women are the epitome of the multiple personality disorder.

No wonder that when divorce, abuse and life’s traumas hit home she cracks and breaks. It is difficult to keep all of these balls in the air. But it is during the times when her world falls apart that she has the opportunity to rediscover her essence, her soul, her one true love, herself.

I like to think of the opportunity to rediscover myself as a gift. Thinking this way does not start out like that. Heavens no! 

Thinking like this occurs during the process of self-discovery. When I realized I’d been given a gift everything changed. I focused more deeply. I got excited about the process, of the discovery. And then reams of information came my way I don’t think I ever could have found if I had spent thousands of hours in the library.

So, accept where you are at. Acknowledge and confirm your emotions, even the painful ones. Acknowledge your emotions as valid responses to your experiences. Accept yourself as you are, scars and all. This is the beginning of the self-discovery process.

Don’t forget about mind moves. Mind moves or the changing of your mind involves moving from a victim mentality to a mind SET of empowerment. Instead of feeling helpless and at the mercy of external circumstances, recognize your natural strength and responsibility in shaping your own destiny. This is the second step to self-discovery.

Allow me to introduce you a few other steps on the path to Hello You. These are easy things you can do to open the door to your heart, your soul, your one true love, you.

Reflect on your core values and beliefs. When was the last time you thought about your core values and beliefs

Values are often taken for granted. They’re just there. We adopt values from our families, friends, cultures, schools, and workplaces. We gather them like flowers along the path. Once we have them, we don’t really look at them and we don’t determine if they benefit our life or need to change. We may glance at them but we don’t really see them. My therapist showed me that values are of the ultimate importance, and it is important to determine the values that are non-negotiable.

Understanding your values can provide clarity and direction to your life.

Explore your strengths and weaknesses. What are you naturally good at? Organization? Networking? Entertaining? Design? Leadership? Administration? Caring for others? Motherhood?

Where do you have opportunities for growth? Emotional regulation? Self-Acceptance? Body positivity? Boundaries? Finding purpose?

Embrace your strengths and weaknesses. This leads to greater self-awareness, builds confidence and self-esteem.

Investigate your passions and interests. What activities bring you joy and fulfillment? If you haven’t gone for a bike ride lately, rent a bike for a day and explore your area. Do you enjoy the water? Rent a kayak or tube and join a group floating the nearest river. Have you wanted to try knitting or crocheting? There are groups everywhere to join in. Stop by a local yarn or craft shop and ask about them. Pick up a paint brush. Paint a room or a canvas. Are you concerned about world events and activism? Browse Facebook, the “net” or Instagram and find a place that aligns with your heart.

Engaging in activities that align with your passions leads to a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Ponder your life experiences, both positive and negative. Play the “I Remember” game. What have been the defining moments in your life? What lessons did you learn from them? You will laugh and you will cry. Both emotions are good for your soul.

Pondering on past experiences can provide valuable insights into your identity and aspirations. And please write them down. Memories not written down are eventually forgotten. I have the thought that if I ever get dementia or Alzheimer’s I would like my family to read these memories to me and the lessons I learned from them.

Cultivate mindfulness and self-reflection practices. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, journaling, and deep breathing help you connect with your inner self and gain clarity on your thoughts and emotions.

Set goals and intentions for your personal growth. What do you want to achieve in various areas of your life, such as career, relationships, and health? Setting specific and measurable goals provides motivation and direction for growth. Start small. What do you want to accomplish this month or even this week? Pick one area of your life and set one goal or intention.

Step out of your comfort zone and embrace a new challenge. Your comfort zone is that safe, secure and warm area you like live in? Get out of it! Try something that makes your blood pump and mouth go dry.

Growth often occurs outside of the comfort zone, so I encourage you to take a risk and try a new experience that stretches your abilities and expands your horizons.

A friend of mine challenged me to do something that scared me once a week for 12 weeks. I took the challenge. I did not find it too difficult to find something that scared me. I had become so cocooned that even smiling at someone on my daily walk made me sweat.

After learning to smile, I got the nerve to say hello. I held me head up, smiled then said a word or two and kept walking. Pretty soon this practice is now part of who I am and what I do to show kindness in my area of the world. I have made friends in my neighbourhood.

Seek feedback and support from others. Whether it’s from friends, mentors, or professionals, or support groups, feedback provides valuable insights and perspectives for growth.

Find “your tribe”, a place where you share something in common and start sharing. Start asking questions of others. Give input and get input. We are meant to be in community.

Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals can provide encouragement and accountability. Something we all need to thrive.

Prioritize continual learning and development. Whether through formal or informal education, self-study, or experiential learning, seek opportunities for growth and expansion of your knowledge and skills. Become a lifelong learner.

Cultivate resilience and adaptability in the face of challenges and setbacks. Yes, that means welcoming challenges and setbacks. Realize this is a period of profound growth and it is not to be feared.

Life is full of ups and downs, but those who can bounce back and adapt to change are better positioned for growth and success.

You don’t need to try everything on this list. Pick one. Start there.

By exploring areas of self-discovery and committing to personal growth, you embark on a transformative journey of self-awareness, empowerment, confidence and fulfillment.

Imagine catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, liking what you see and saying, “Hello You! Where have you been hiding?”

Healing Practices
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Transformation – How Do You Heal?

When someone starts talking about transformation and healing, I immediately think of the brain, the mind. Through my research I have found that most people think about a significant and positive change or evolution in various aspects of their life. This can include personal growth, self-improvement, inner healing, or a dramatic shift in mindset, behavior, or circumstances.

I have learned over the years that transformation is not just about the mind. The mind and body are connected. What one believes in their mind affects their body. There is an intricate relationship between our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and our physical health. The mind-body connection suggests that our mental and emotional states influence our physical well-being, and vice versa.

The mind-body connection is rooted in the biological and neurological systems of the body. The brain and nervous system play a central role in processing and responding to both internal and external stimuli, including thoughts, emotions, and sensations. Neurotransmitters, hormones, and other chemical messengers transmit signals between the brain and the body, influencing various physiological processes.

Our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs have a direct impact on our physical responses. For example, when we experience stress or anxiety, the brain activates the body’s stress response system, triggering the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones can lead to physical changes such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and muscle tension.

It is my belief that you cannot transform the mind only. In the process of transforming your mind you will transform your body. In the process of transforming your body you will transform your mind.

Please don’t misunderstand me. You aren’t going to have the body of an athlete if you simply change your mindset. However, if you have a mindset shift and believe you can have the body of an athlete you can actually achieve that. It will take work and perseverance.  But if you believe you can, you will. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

I would rather practice wellness than always addressing sickness. Wellness includes many healing modalities that encompass a wide range of practices and techniques to support the journey of transformation. My purpose in this article is to introduce different methods and for you to choose the ones that fit your beliefs, lifestyle, and pocketbook.

Traditional Therapy

Traditional therapy or counseling sessions with licensed therapists provide safe and supportive environments for you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Therapists utilize various therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), psychodynamic therapy, solution focused brief therapy, (SFBT) and trauma-informed therapy to help individuals process their past traumas, develop coping strategies, and cultivate resilience.

I have engaged in psychodynamic therapy, solution focused brief therapy and trauma-informed therapy. My favorite, by far, was the solution focused brief therapy. I found it to be the quickest and most effective therapy with the best results. I found that dwelling on the past and it’s influence on my life was a slow painful process as I had to relive the events and the emotions. I got more and more depressed and felt like I was spinning my wheels getting nowhere.

Sure, I did get some helpful tools in the process but the road was painful and too long. 

With solution focused brief therapy I determined the outcome I wanted and mapped out the road to get there. I didn’t dwell on the past. I focused on my now and my future. Less money. Better results.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation practices are powerful tools for cultivating self-awareness, reducing stress, and promoting emotional well-being. These practices involve paying attention to the present moment with openness and acceptance, without judgment. Techniques such as mindful breathing, body scans, and loving-kindness meditation can help individuals become more grounded, centered, and connected to themselves.

Meditation and mindfulness take time and practice. One often hears that you need to “empty your mind” to be an expert meditator and look like the gurus in many pictures. I have found that it is impossible to silence the chatter in my mind.

I started meditation and mindfulness about 3 years ago. It was tough at first. As soon as I sat in a quiet space my mind took over. I made grocery lists, listed phone calls I needed to make, jobs I had to do and even try to figure out solutions to not only my own problems but other people’s problems too. I was so frustrated I almost gave up.

Then, I read something by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He stated that it was not possible to empty your mind. He did say that it was possible to acknowledge the thoughts and let them pass. He said not to make judgements on what my mind was doing, just let the thought pass. I tried it and it works.

Now, I practice meditation at least twice a day, especially in the morning. I have joined a group of other meditators. We are currently working our way through the chakras. I am loving this practice.

The other meditation I do is online with Dr. Joe Dispenza. I find that my days are easier because I have more trust. More trust in myself. More trust in God. More trust in my abilities and the people who come into my life.

Mindfulness to me is paying attention to my thoughts and my words. How am I speaking to myself? How am I speaking to others? Am I being loving and kind? Am I being compassionate? When I pay attention, I can see what I like and don’t like and can change it in an instant.

I find driving brings out the worst in me. When I’m mindful I realize that the person who just pulled that jerk move has their “stuff” to go through and I can let it go and continue on my way without stewing or swearing about it.

Yoga

Yoga combines physical postures, breathwork, and meditation to promote holistic health and well-being. Yoga helps individuals release tension stored in the body, increase flexibility and strength, and cultivate mindfulness.

The practice of yoga increases body awareness. Through the practice we learn how we move through life. With breathwork we become aware of the importance of oxygen not only our physical body but to our emotions as well.

I used to hate yoga. I took many classes wanting to like it. But I never did! I walked out of a yoga class feeling like I got nothing out of it. The only yoga pose I really liked was “legs up the wall”. Yummy but not worth doing a whole class.

Then Covid hit. I wasn’t exercising as much. I was going through cancer treatments with my mom and a divorce. My stress levels were very high. All I wanted was to stretch. The only way I knew to get the stretch I desired was through yoga.  

I contacted my sisters and told them my dilemma. I asked them to join me in an online yoga class. They all agreed. We would do the yoga practice in our own homes and text the others when we were done and report on how we did. This was the beginning of my love of yoga. I do not do it everyday but I do engage in the practice at some point during the week. I also use some yoga moves as a cool down to my regular workout. Now, yoga is yummy and worth it to me.

Art Therapy

Art therapy is a form of expressive therapy that uses the creative process of making art to improve and enhance physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It can be a powerful tool for self-expression, exploration, and healing.

Through various art forms such as painting, drawing, sculpture, and collage, you can externalize your internal experiences, gain insights into your emotions, and access deeper layers of your consciousness. Art therapy can be particularly beneficial for those who may find it challenging to verbalize their feelings or simply don’t have the words to express themselves.

Many therapists, counselors, and mental health professionals offer art therapy sessions as part of their practice. These sessions provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences through artmaking. If you would like to experiment with art therapy, ask your therapist about it. If they don’t offer it as part of their practice, they should be able to connect you with someone who does.

Community art centers often offer classes, workshops, and open studio sessions for people of all ages and skill levels. These centers provide access to art materials, studio space, and guidance from experienced instructors, making it easy for individuals to explore their creativity in a supportive and non-judgmental setting.

There are many online resources and platforms that offer virtual art classes, tutorials, and communities for artists of all levels. Websites such as Skillshare, Udemy, and YouTube provide a wealth of instructional videos and resources for learning different art techniques and styles from the comfort of home.

Attending local art events, exhibitions, and gallery openings can also inspire artistic expression. These events provide opportunities to connect with other artists, explore different art forms and styles, and gain inspiration from the work of others. It also gets you out of the house. Call up a friend or go by yourself. You will never regret feeding your mind with soulful adventures.

Art therapy is more about the process of creating than the end result. Maybe we should rename art therapy, Creative Healing. Hmmmm, I like that sound of that.

Focus on the act of self-expression and exploration rather than worrying about creating a masterpiece. Experiment with different art mediums and techniques to find what resonates with you. Painting, drawing, sculpture, or mixed media. Pick one to start. There are endless possibilities for creative expression.

There are no right or wrong ways to make art. Your efforts and your unique perspective and experiences are valuable. If you are perfectionist Creative Healing is an ideal way to climb out of the perfection space and accept what is and call it beautiful. Always remember, the more you engage in the activity the better you get.

Nature Therapy

Spending time in nature has been shown to have numerous therapeutic benefits, including reducing stress, improving mood, and promoting overall well-being. Nature therapy, also known as ecotherapy or wilderness therapy, includes activities such as hiking, gardening, or simply spending time outdoors in natural settings. Forest bathing or Shin Rin Yoku is a method of nature therapy. Get out in the bush or the woods. Don’t be afraid to touch the trees.

Connecting with the natural world can help you feel grounded, rejuvenated, and connected to something greater than yourself. Stop. Breathe. Relax. Believe. Love.

Breathwork

Breathwork practice focus on the conscious control of your breath to promote relaxation, emotional release, and inner healing. Techniques such as deep diaphragmatic breathing, breath awareness, and breath retention can help you regulate your nervous system, reduce anxiety, and access deeper states of consciousness. Breathwork sessions led by trained facilitators provide a supportive space for individuals to explore their breath and its connection to their emotions and experiences.

I started doing breathwork when I was introduced to the work of Wim Hof. Wim Hoff, also known as The Iceman, is a Dutch motivational speaker and extreme athlete noted for his ability to withstand low temperatures. His method is a technique that combines controlled deep breathing, cold therapy, and commitment to help you connect more deeply to your body.

I enjoy the Wim Hoff breathwork. I have not mastered the cold therapy. I keep trying but I have to admit I do not like it. I would rather be warm. There is still a benefit to engaging with his breathing technique.

I have discovered other breathing techniques through my yoga practice and with my meditation coach SevaRam Spronk. I love all of it.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy

My favorite healing modality is Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy. Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy is based on the principle that the body has an innate ability to heal itself when its energy flow is balanced and unobstructed.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy offers a gentle yet powerful approach to promoting health and well-being by restoring the body’s natural energy balance. It can be an effective tool for addressing a wide range of physical, emotional, and mental health concerns and supporting individuals on their journey toward optimal wellness.

Practitioners of Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy work with the body’s energy allowing energy to flow freely and facilitate the healing process.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy utilizes various techniques to assess and address energetic imbalances in the body. These techniques may include identifying areas of congestion or depletion, and using specific hand movements and intention to channel healing energy to the affected areas. The energy of life has all the information of wellness in it, therefore the body knows exactly what to do with it. The therapy is non-invasive, structured and typically involves light touch or hands-off approaches.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy can be used to address a wide range of physical, emotional, and mental health concerns. It is often used to alleviate pain, accelerate healing from injuries or surgeries, reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep quality, and enhance overall well-being. The therapy is gentle and suitable for people of all ages, from infants to the elderly.

Clients who receive Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy often report feeling deeply relaxed, peaceful, and energized during and after sessions. Some may experience sensations such as warmth, tingling, or subtle movements in the body as energy begins to shift and rebalance. Many clients notice improvements in their symptoms and overall well-being with continued sessions over time.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy can be used as a complementary approach alongside conventional medical treatments. While it is not a replacement for medical care, it can support the body’s natural healing processes and enhance the effectiveness of other treatments.

Each month you get to participate in an online Pure Bioenergy 4 Life Healing Event. You can register using this link. For more information about this healing modality click on any of the links above.

You will notice that I did not talk about diet and exercise. There is so much information available to you if you want to go in this direction. I felt it was better to talk about other ways to transform your body. Choose one of the modalities I’ve talked about. Experience the difference it can make in your life. I dare you!

Blog Posts Healing Practices
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Your Transformation – Mind Moves

Mind moves, mind shift, perspective change or reality re-evaluation. Whatever you call it the principle is to “change your mind”. I change my mind every day. I change my mind about what I’m going to wear. I change my mind about what to have for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I change my mind because I’m a woman – and that’s my prerogative. This kind of mind change is not what I want to talk about today.

I want to talk about what goes on in your mind when you want to make a change in your life. I want to talk about how you move your mind from negative thinking to positive thinking. This kind of mind move is the second phase in transformation.

Think of like this. The old digital alarm clocks had a SET button. You choose the time you want to wake up, scroll through the time until you get it just right and press the SET button. This keeps the time in memory. When that time rolls around, the alarm goes off. In the same way, mind moves shift you from a negative way of thinking to a positive way of thinking. You push the SET button to keep it in memory.

A powerful mind move involves moving from a victim mentality to a mind SET of empowerment. Instead of feeling helpless and at the mercy of external circumstances, you recognize your natural strength and responsibility in shaping your own destiny.

For example, rather than dwelling on past traumas over things that happened to you, you get to reframe the event as an experience that shaped your resilience and ability to overcome adversity. You’re still standing. The fact that you are still standing is testament to your strength and resilience.

Transitioning from a fixed mind SET to a growth mind SET is another important mind move. Rather than believing your abilities and qualities are fixed traits, you get to see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. This is a growth mind move. You move to embrace setbacks as temporary rather than insurmountable obstacles and approach life with a sense of curiosity. You are open to new experiences.

Many women who have experienced trauma struggle with self-doubt and low self-esteem. A mind move in this area involves cultivating self-confidence and self-belief.

When I learned that it was necessary for me to make this mind move, I panicked. I didn’t think it was possible. I believed that this was the way I was and it could not change. If you think this way or this statement fills you with anxiety, please, take a deep breath, exhale slowly and believe that you can cultivate self-confidence.

Cultivating self-confidence involves challenging negative self-talk and replacing it with affirmations of self-worth and capability. For example, instead of telling myself, “I’m not good enough,” I affirm, “I am worthy of love and respect, and I have the strength to overcome any challenge.” It can seem so simple, yet the result of replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmation is SO PROFOUND.

Positive affirmations provide a counterbalance to negative thoughts. Affirming statements challenge and replace destructive beliefs with more empowering beliefs. Repeating positive affirmations gradually rewires your brain to adopt positive and supportive thought patterns, leading to improved self-esteem and self-worth.

Positive affirmations cultivate self-compassion by offering words of kindness, understanding, and acceptance. By affirming your own worthiness, strength, and resilience, you learn to treat yourself with greater kindness and compassion, nurturing a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance.

Positive affirmations inject hope and optimism into your life reminding you that healing is possible and that better days lie ahead. Declarations such as “I trust in the healing process,” “I believe in my ability to heal,” and “I am deserving of a bright future” instill a sense of hope and possibility. This motivates you to persevere on your journey of recovery.

Fear often holds us back from pursuing our dreams and living life to the fullest. A mind move from fear to courage involves acknowledging the presence of your fear but not letting it dictate your actions.

It means stepping out of our comfort zone and taking a bold leap of faith, even in the face of uncertainty. For example, instead of allowing fear of failure to paralyze you, you get to embrace the unknown and take a calculated risk to pursue your goals and dreams.

Take risks. Try new experiences that stretch your abilities and expand your horizons. It may be scary at first, but the effort will be so worth it.

Finally, a transformative mind move involves shifting from an attitude of scarcity to one of abundance. Instead of viewing life through a lens of lack and limitation, you get to see abundance and possibility all around you.

Abundance is not only financial. If you open your heart and your eyes you will see the abundance in your life. I like to go for a walk in the woods regularly. I see the power of the trees and the wind. I see the beauty of the forest floor. I breathe in the clean air. This to me is abundance. Abundance, for me, is looking into the eyes of my children and grandchildren, being thankful they have been given to me and I feel rich. I can look in my fridge and see that I have enough, even if it’s only enough for today.

This may involve practicing gratitude for what you already have and adopting an abundance mind SET that attracts more positivity and abundance into your life. For example, rather than focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have to be grateful for and trust that your needs will be provided.

I find that writing down the things I am grateful for today is an impactful practice. I am reminded of all things, people, places, and experiences I have had. I see how these have impacted my life and I live with a grateful heart. I can also be grateful for my future and picture what that looks like.

I know a woman named Lena. Lena had always felt like she was merely surviving, navigating her days with a heavy heart and a sense of resignation. Deep within her soul, she longed for something more—a life filled with purpose, joy, and fulfillment.

One day, as Lena sat in her tiny apartment, surrounded by the familiar trappings of her existence, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there had to be more to life than what she was experiencing. She yearned for a change, a transformation that would break the chains of her self-imposed limitations and set her spirit free.

With a flicker of determination, Lena embarked on a journey of self-discovery—a journey that would challenge her beliefs, push her boundaries, and ultimately lead her to profound transformation.

As Lena delved into the depths of her own psyche, she encountered the first hurdle on her path: the victim mindset. This mindset held her captive for a long time.

She realized that she had been allowing her past traumas to define her, casting herself as the helpless victim of circumstances beyond her control. But in that moment of awareness, Lena made a conscious choice to reclaim her power—to rise above her past and embrace her innate strength and resilience.

With each move forward, Lena encountered new challenges that tested her resolve. She faced moments of doubt and uncertainty, grappling with the fear of the unknown that threatened to hold her back. But instead of allowing fear to dictate her actions, Lena summoned the courage within her—the courage to step into the unknown, to trust in her own abilities, and to pursue her dreams with unwavering determination.

Along the way, Lena discovered the transformative power of a growth mindset—a belief in her own potential to learn, grow, and evolve. She realized that setbacks were not roadblocks, but rather opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

With each challenge she encountered, Lena embraced the opportunity to expand her horizons, to push past her comfort zone, and to emerge stronger and more resilient than before.

As Lena journeyed deeper into the heart of her own transformation, she began to see the world through new eyes—an abundance mindset opened her heart to the infinite possibilities that surrounded her. She realized that life was not a zero-sum game, but rather a tapestry of abundance and opportunity, waiting to be woven into the fabric of her own unique story.

In the end, Lena emerged from her journey of transformation not as a mere survivor, but as a beacon of hope and inspiration to all who knew her. She had exceeded her limitations, embraced her true essence, and stepped into a reality filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment.

Now, you get to choose how your transformation develops.  This is ALL about you. No one can take it away. It is nobody else’s business. Your transformation is NOT selfish. Your transformation is the MOST loving act you can do for yourself. Without loving yourself it is impossible to love anyone else.

By making these mind moves, your get to transform your perspective on life. You get to unlock your full potential. You get to create a reality filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment. This is your journey of self-discovery and empowerment. This journey begins with changing the way you think and perceive the world around you.

The next blog post in this series is the exploration of the huge impact healing methods can have on your transformation.

Remember that trauma does not define you. You choose how to live your life.  

Healing Practices
Featured

Transformation: Acceptance and Self-compassion

I did something the other day I don’t usually do. I found myself scrolling through social media. One reel hooked me into another, and then another and another and on and on it went.

I know the concept of reels is to hook the viewer into more and more. I got hooked. Then next thing I knew an hour and half went by at the speed of my finger. Can you relate? Has this EVER happened to you?

After I had finished chastising myself on the waste of time, I realized something significant.

I realized a lot of the reels I watched were about transformation. I have to admit I have been doing research on the concept of transformation and engaging in some transformative practices.

Algorithms caught on and filled my feed with reels about transformation. Now, not all reels were about transformation. Some were just plain funny and I laughed ‘til I cried. I love a sense of humour. I can still see the outrageous stuff people do and I chuckle to myself. Hmmmm.

Right. Let’s get back to what I was talking about.

So, was scrolling a waste of time? I’m going out on a limb and saying “NO”.

The fact that I realized what I had been watching was of some value made me a bit giddy. I had held the belief that all social media scrolling was to fill in time waiting for appointments or an avenue to killing off brain cells. I was wrong.

Choke! Choke! Gag!

Yes, I was wrong and I am not afraid to admit it. It isn’t easy but I do admit it.

In that hour and a half, I learned some new things and I cemented in the things I already knew and discovered. And now I get to share what I learned with you.

If you aren’t interested in transforming any area of your life, duck out now. I suspect you’ll be bored.

If you are interested in transforming an area of your life read on. My prayer is that you will be blessed and get excited to begin the process of transforming your life to what YOU want it to be.

To start I think we need to ask the question, “Is transformation really possible?”. I give the answer to this question two thumbs up. YES! It is possible to transform your life.

Think about it. Most movies we watch are about transformations. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The Hulk. Kevin Spacey’s character in The Usual Suspects. Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor. The Gremlins. Star Wars and don’t forget about every Marvel movie. I believe I made my point.

So yes, transformation is possible. Transformation is not an easy road. Transformation is definitely worth the time, effort and money you invest in the process. So, where do you begin?

Transformation usually starts with a crisis. You hit rock bottom and find yourself in despair and or depression. You can’t do this anymore. How did you get here? How did you get into this? What just happened? How could he?

I am sure you can relate to at least one of these questions during a crisis in your life. I’m also sure you can add a thousand questions to this list.

I remember thinking during one of my many crises that maybe it was me. “If I could just find a way to change me everything would be okay.” So, I tried to change me, a transformation. I tried to become what I thought he wanted. That didn’t work! It actually made matters worse. I was miserable because I was living against my values, what I believed and who I was. My misery made the whole situation worse. Yes, transformation is not always positive.

I also remember a time when my second marriage was in dire trouble. I tried everything I knew at the time to “fix it”. This went on for a few years. Then one morning I woke up and decided it was not about him anymore. It was not about us anymore. It was about me.

I started my journey to wholeness, strength, confidence, and self-worth.

I engaged in psychotherapy to find my way out of the internal chatter that threatened to bury me. I read books. I found online groups for support. I went to retreats, seminars and workshops. I took part in online challenges. I sought out the thoughts and ideas of leaders in the field of transformation. I studied biographies of people who believed in themselves, went against “the norm” and found themselves, their strengths, and their passions.

Ladies, it has been quite the journey. It has cost me a lot of time, money, tears, anger and joy, mostly joy. This journey continues and I do not want to stop. I have found beauty among the ashes. I have found inner joy. I am happy – most of the time. I am an overcomer. I have even had do-overs!

So, where do you start on your journey of transformation – if you decide to start the challenge?

You have heard the quote by Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” This is exactly where to start. You start with the first step.

The first step is your decision to invest in yourself. If there is to be a change in your life, that change starts with you.

I believe you made that decision when you started reading this article or looking online for topics on personal change and transformation. We all long to be like the butterfly who emerges from the cocoon as a beautiful creature.

What do you do when you’ve made that decision? Good question! And bravo for asking it. When you ask a good question, you get a good answer. Your next step is acceptance.

Acceptance begins with acknowledging and confirming your emotions, even the painful ones.

When a woman experiences trauma she can allow herself to feel the depth of her sadness, anger, or fear without judgment. Instead of pushing these emotions away or denying their existence, she can acknowledge them as valid responses to her experiences.

Allow me to tell you a story.

Maya was no stranger to life’s challenges; she has weathered her fair share of storms and emerged stronger each time. Despite her resilience, there was still a heaviness in her heart—a lingering ache from wounds that ran deep.

One day Maya found herself sitting by the riverbank, lost in thought. Memories of past sufferings flooded her mind, threatening to consume her in a sea of sorrow. Tears welled up in her eyes as she struggled to make sense of it all.

In that moment of vulnerability, Maya realized that she had been fighting against herself, resisting the pain that clamored for acknowledgment. With an audible moan, she let go of her defenses and allowed herself to feel—to truly feel—the weight of her emotions. She embraced her sadness, her anger, her fear, like old friends returning home after a long journey.

Maya felt a gentle stirring within her—a flicker of self-compassion igniting in the depths of her soul. She spoke softly to herself, offering words of kindness and understanding, like soothing balm to a wounded heart.

“I forgive you,” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. “I forgive you for carrying this burden for so long. You deserve peace, and I will walk beside you every step of the way.”

With each passing day, Maya practiced self-compassion in small but profound ways. She learned to let go of the heavy cloak of self-blame that had weighed her down for years.  Instead, she embraced the lightness of forgiveness and grace. She set boundaries to protect her tender heart. She surrounded herself with love and support.

As the seasons turned and the world bloomed around her, Maya found herself transformed. She was not transformed by the absence of pain, but by the acceptance of it. She had become a beacon of hope for others, living proof to the power of acceptance and self-compassion on the journey of healing.

And so, dear reader, remember Maya’s story as you navigate your own path of transformation. Embrace your pain, your imperfections, with open arms, for it is in acceptance that true healing begins.

This is the beginning of your journey in transformation. Acceptance takes time. Take this opportunity to accept. Give yourself the gift of time to accept yourself as you are, scars and all. Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Don’t run from them. Your emotions are part of you, a beautiful part of you.

Show yourself compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Present yourself with words of comfort and reassurance during difficult moments. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can given your circumstances.

Acceptance also means letting go of self-blame and recognizing that traumatic events are not your fault. A woman who has experienced abuse can release feelings of guilt or shame and understand that she did not deserve what happened to her. Instead of blaming herself for past actions or decisions, she can focus on nurturing herself and begin moving forward.

Self-compassion and acceptance involve embracing your imperfections and recognizing that nobody is perfect. A woman can forgive herself for past mistakes or perceived shortcomings, understanding that they do not define her worth. Instead of striving for unattainable standards of perfection, celebrate your uniqueness and inherent value.

Acceptance includes setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being and honor your needs. You can assertively communicate your boundaries with others, expressing what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. Prioritize self-care and respect your limits. In this way you show self-compassion and cultivate a sense of empowerment.

When you practice acceptance and self-compassion you develop a deeper sense of self-awareness, resilience, and inner peace. These habits serve as the foundation for healing and growth, allowing you to embrace your true self with love and compassion.

There is more to discover on this journey of transformation. Next week we will uncover mindset shifts that can change your perspective and significantly affect your personal healing journey.

May you always be guided by the gentle whispers of self-compassion, leading you home to the depths of your own beautiful soul.