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transformation

Healing Practices
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Transformation – Hello You!

Have you had the experience of losing yourself? I have had this experience so often in my life that I nearly had a breakdown. I remember sitting on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands feeling as if I didn’t exist, only my body did. I was crushed, broken and an empty shell. I had no worth, no existence and I wanted to die.

I also remember having the experience of walking past a mirror, catching a glimpse of myself and saying “Hello You! Where have you been hiding?

You may not have had an experience quite like this but we have all experienced the notion of Who Am I?

It is quite common for a woman to get caught up in being a partner/spouse, mother, friend, daughter, professional, Ms. Fixit, superwoman; all-knowing, all-seeing wonder of the world and lover. Where does she find herself in all of these roles? My gosh, just reading this makes me think women are the epitome of the multiple personality disorder.

No wonder that when divorce, abuse and life’s traumas hit home she cracks and breaks. It is difficult to keep all of these balls in the air. But it is during the times when her world falls apart that she has the opportunity to rediscover her essence, her soul, her one true love, herself.

I like to think of the opportunity to rediscover myself as a gift. Thinking this way does not start out like that. Heavens no! 

Thinking like this occurs during the process of self-discovery. When I realized I’d been given a gift everything changed. I focused more deeply. I got excited about the process, of the discovery. And then reams of information came my way I don’t think I ever could have found if I had spent thousands of hours in the library.

So, accept where you are at. Acknowledge and confirm your emotions, even the painful ones. Acknowledge your emotions as valid responses to your experiences. Accept yourself as you are, scars and all. This is the beginning of the self-discovery process.

Don’t forget about mind moves. Mind moves or the changing of your mind involves moving from a victim mentality to a mind SET of empowerment. Instead of feeling helpless and at the mercy of external circumstances, recognize your natural strength and responsibility in shaping your own destiny. This is the second step to self-discovery.

Allow me to introduce you a few other steps on the path to Hello You. These are easy things you can do to open the door to your heart, your soul, your one true love, you.

Reflect on your core values and beliefs. When was the last time you thought about your core values and beliefs

Values are often taken for granted. They’re just there. We adopt values from our families, friends, cultures, schools, and workplaces. We gather them like flowers along the path. Once we have them, we don’t really look at them and we don’t determine if they benefit our life or need to change. We may glance at them but we don’t really see them. My therapist showed me that values are of the ultimate importance, and it is important to determine the values that are non-negotiable.

Understanding your values can provide clarity and direction to your life.

Explore your strengths and weaknesses. What are you naturally good at? Organization? Networking? Entertaining? Design? Leadership? Administration? Caring for others? Motherhood?

Where do you have opportunities for growth? Emotional regulation? Self-Acceptance? Body positivity? Boundaries? Finding purpose?

Embrace your strengths and weaknesses. This leads to greater self-awareness, builds confidence and self-esteem.

Investigate your passions and interests. What activities bring you joy and fulfillment? If you haven’t gone for a bike ride lately, rent a bike for a day and explore your area. Do you enjoy the water? Rent a kayak or tube and join a group floating the nearest river. Have you wanted to try knitting or crocheting? There are groups everywhere to join in. Stop by a local yarn or craft shop and ask about them. Pick up a paint brush. Paint a room or a canvas. Are you concerned about world events and activism? Browse Facebook, the “net” or Instagram and find a place that aligns with your heart.

Engaging in activities that align with your passions leads to a deeper sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Ponder your life experiences, both positive and negative. Play the “I Remember” game. What have been the defining moments in your life? What lessons did you learn from them? You will laugh and you will cry. Both emotions are good for your soul.

Pondering on past experiences can provide valuable insights into your identity and aspirations. And please write them down. Memories not written down are eventually forgotten. I have the thought that if I ever get dementia or Alzheimer’s I would like my family to read these memories to me and the lessons I learned from them.

Cultivate mindfulness and self-reflection practices. Mindfulness techniques such as meditation, journaling, and deep breathing help you connect with your inner self and gain clarity on your thoughts and emotions.

Set goals and intentions for your personal growth. What do you want to achieve in various areas of your life, such as career, relationships, and health? Setting specific and measurable goals provides motivation and direction for growth. Start small. What do you want to accomplish this month or even this week? Pick one area of your life and set one goal or intention.

Step out of your comfort zone and embrace a new challenge. Your comfort zone is that safe, secure and warm area you like live in? Get out of it! Try something that makes your blood pump and mouth go dry.

Growth often occurs outside of the comfort zone, so I encourage you to take a risk and try a new experience that stretches your abilities and expands your horizons.

A friend of mine challenged me to do something that scared me once a week for 12 weeks. I took the challenge. I did not find it too difficult to find something that scared me. I had become so cocooned that even smiling at someone on my daily walk made me sweat.

After learning to smile, I got the nerve to say hello. I held me head up, smiled then said a word or two and kept walking. Pretty soon this practice is now part of who I am and what I do to show kindness in my area of the world. I have made friends in my neighbourhood.

Seek feedback and support from others. Whether it’s from friends, mentors, or professionals, or support groups, feedback provides valuable insights and perspectives for growth.

Find “your tribe”, a place where you share something in common and start sharing. Start asking questions of others. Give input and get input. We are meant to be in community.

Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals can provide encouragement and accountability. Something we all need to thrive.

Prioritize continual learning and development. Whether through formal or informal education, self-study, or experiential learning, seek opportunities for growth and expansion of your knowledge and skills. Become a lifelong learner.

Cultivate resilience and adaptability in the face of challenges and setbacks. Yes, that means welcoming challenges and setbacks. Realize this is a period of profound growth and it is not to be feared.

Life is full of ups and downs, but those who can bounce back and adapt to change are better positioned for growth and success.

You don’t need to try everything on this list. Pick one. Start there.

By exploring areas of self-discovery and committing to personal growth, you embark on a transformative journey of self-awareness, empowerment, confidence and fulfillment.

Imagine catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, liking what you see and saying, “Hello You! Where have you been hiding?”

Healing Practices
Featured

Transformation – How Do You Heal?

When someone starts talking about transformation and healing, I immediately think of the brain, the mind. Through my research I have found that most people think about a significant and positive change or evolution in various aspects of their life. This can include personal growth, self-improvement, inner healing, or a dramatic shift in mindset, behavior, or circumstances.

I have learned over the years that transformation is not just about the mind. The mind and body are connected. What one believes in their mind affects their body. There is an intricate relationship between our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and our physical health. The mind-body connection suggests that our mental and emotional states influence our physical well-being, and vice versa.

The mind-body connection is rooted in the biological and neurological systems of the body. The brain and nervous system play a central role in processing and responding to both internal and external stimuli, including thoughts, emotions, and sensations. Neurotransmitters, hormones, and other chemical messengers transmit signals between the brain and the body, influencing various physiological processes.

Our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs have a direct impact on our physical responses. For example, when we experience stress or anxiety, the brain activates the body’s stress response system, triggering the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones can lead to physical changes such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and muscle tension.

It is my belief that you cannot transform the mind only. In the process of transforming your mind you will transform your body. In the process of transforming your body you will transform your mind.

Please don’t misunderstand me. You aren’t going to have the body of an athlete if you simply change your mindset. However, if you have a mindset shift and believe you can have the body of an athlete you can actually achieve that. It will take work and perseverance.  But if you believe you can, you will. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

I would rather practice wellness than always addressing sickness. Wellness includes many healing modalities that encompass a wide range of practices and techniques to support the journey of transformation. My purpose in this article is to introduce different methods and for you to choose the ones that fit your beliefs, lifestyle, and pocketbook.

Traditional Therapy

Traditional therapy or counseling sessions with licensed therapists provide safe and supportive environments for you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Therapists utilize various therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), psychodynamic therapy, solution focused brief therapy, (SFBT) and trauma-informed therapy to help individuals process their past traumas, develop coping strategies, and cultivate resilience.

I have engaged in psychodynamic therapy, solution focused brief therapy and trauma-informed therapy. My favorite, by far, was the solution focused brief therapy. I found it to be the quickest and most effective therapy with the best results. I found that dwelling on the past and it’s influence on my life was a slow painful process as I had to relive the events and the emotions. I got more and more depressed and felt like I was spinning my wheels getting nowhere.

Sure, I did get some helpful tools in the process but the road was painful and too long. 

With solution focused brief therapy I determined the outcome I wanted and mapped out the road to get there. I didn’t dwell on the past. I focused on my now and my future. Less money. Better results.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation practices are powerful tools for cultivating self-awareness, reducing stress, and promoting emotional well-being. These practices involve paying attention to the present moment with openness and acceptance, without judgment. Techniques such as mindful breathing, body scans, and loving-kindness meditation can help individuals become more grounded, centered, and connected to themselves.

Meditation and mindfulness take time and practice. One often hears that you need to “empty your mind” to be an expert meditator and look like the gurus in many pictures. I have found that it is impossible to silence the chatter in my mind.

I started meditation and mindfulness about 3 years ago. It was tough at first. As soon as I sat in a quiet space my mind took over. I made grocery lists, listed phone calls I needed to make, jobs I had to do and even try to figure out solutions to not only my own problems but other people’s problems too. I was so frustrated I almost gave up.

Then, I read something by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He stated that it was not possible to empty your mind. He did say that it was possible to acknowledge the thoughts and let them pass. He said not to make judgements on what my mind was doing, just let the thought pass. I tried it and it works.

Now, I practice meditation at least twice a day, especially in the morning. I have joined a group of other meditators. We are currently working our way through the chakras. I am loving this practice.

The other meditation I do is online with Dr. Joe Dispenza. I find that my days are easier because I have more trust. More trust in myself. More trust in God. More trust in my abilities and the people who come into my life.

Mindfulness to me is paying attention to my thoughts and my words. How am I speaking to myself? How am I speaking to others? Am I being loving and kind? Am I being compassionate? When I pay attention, I can see what I like and don’t like and can change it in an instant.

I find driving brings out the worst in me. When I’m mindful I realize that the person who just pulled that jerk move has their “stuff” to go through and I can let it go and continue on my way without stewing or swearing about it.

Yoga

Yoga combines physical postures, breathwork, and meditation to promote holistic health and well-being. Yoga helps individuals release tension stored in the body, increase flexibility and strength, and cultivate mindfulness.

The practice of yoga increases body awareness. Through the practice we learn how we move through life. With breathwork we become aware of the importance of oxygen not only our physical body but to our emotions as well.

I used to hate yoga. I took many classes wanting to like it. But I never did! I walked out of a yoga class feeling like I got nothing out of it. The only yoga pose I really liked was “legs up the wall”. Yummy but not worth doing a whole class.

Then Covid hit. I wasn’t exercising as much. I was going through cancer treatments with my mom and a divorce. My stress levels were very high. All I wanted was to stretch. The only way I knew to get the stretch I desired was through yoga.  

I contacted my sisters and told them my dilemma. I asked them to join me in an online yoga class. They all agreed. We would do the yoga practice in our own homes and text the others when we were done and report on how we did. This was the beginning of my love of yoga. I do not do it everyday but I do engage in the practice at some point during the week. I also use some yoga moves as a cool down to my regular workout. Now, yoga is yummy and worth it to me.

Art Therapy

Art therapy is a form of expressive therapy that uses the creative process of making art to improve and enhance physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It can be a powerful tool for self-expression, exploration, and healing.

Through various art forms such as painting, drawing, sculpture, and collage, you can externalize your internal experiences, gain insights into your emotions, and access deeper layers of your consciousness. Art therapy can be particularly beneficial for those who may find it challenging to verbalize their feelings or simply don’t have the words to express themselves.

Many therapists, counselors, and mental health professionals offer art therapy sessions as part of their practice. These sessions provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences through artmaking. If you would like to experiment with art therapy, ask your therapist about it. If they don’t offer it as part of their practice, they should be able to connect you with someone who does.

Community art centers often offer classes, workshops, and open studio sessions for people of all ages and skill levels. These centers provide access to art materials, studio space, and guidance from experienced instructors, making it easy for individuals to explore their creativity in a supportive and non-judgmental setting.

There are many online resources and platforms that offer virtual art classes, tutorials, and communities for artists of all levels. Websites such as Skillshare, Udemy, and YouTube provide a wealth of instructional videos and resources for learning different art techniques and styles from the comfort of home.

Attending local art events, exhibitions, and gallery openings can also inspire artistic expression. These events provide opportunities to connect with other artists, explore different art forms and styles, and gain inspiration from the work of others. It also gets you out of the house. Call up a friend or go by yourself. You will never regret feeding your mind with soulful adventures.

Art therapy is more about the process of creating than the end result. Maybe we should rename art therapy, Creative Healing. Hmmmm, I like that sound of that.

Focus on the act of self-expression and exploration rather than worrying about creating a masterpiece. Experiment with different art mediums and techniques to find what resonates with you. Painting, drawing, sculpture, or mixed media. Pick one to start. There are endless possibilities for creative expression.

There are no right or wrong ways to make art. Your efforts and your unique perspective and experiences are valuable. If you are perfectionist Creative Healing is an ideal way to climb out of the perfection space and accept what is and call it beautiful. Always remember, the more you engage in the activity the better you get.

Nature Therapy

Spending time in nature has been shown to have numerous therapeutic benefits, including reducing stress, improving mood, and promoting overall well-being. Nature therapy, also known as ecotherapy or wilderness therapy, includes activities such as hiking, gardening, or simply spending time outdoors in natural settings. Forest bathing or Shin Rin Yoku is a method of nature therapy. Get out in the bush or the woods. Don’t be afraid to touch the trees.

Connecting with the natural world can help you feel grounded, rejuvenated, and connected to something greater than yourself. Stop. Breathe. Relax. Believe. Love.

Breathwork

Breathwork practice focus on the conscious control of your breath to promote relaxation, emotional release, and inner healing. Techniques such as deep diaphragmatic breathing, breath awareness, and breath retention can help you regulate your nervous system, reduce anxiety, and access deeper states of consciousness. Breathwork sessions led by trained facilitators provide a supportive space for individuals to explore their breath and its connection to their emotions and experiences.

I started doing breathwork when I was introduced to the work of Wim Hof. Wim Hoff, also known as The Iceman, is a Dutch motivational speaker and extreme athlete noted for his ability to withstand low temperatures. His method is a technique that combines controlled deep breathing, cold therapy, and commitment to help you connect more deeply to your body.

I enjoy the Wim Hoff breathwork. I have not mastered the cold therapy. I keep trying but I have to admit I do not like it. I would rather be warm. There is still a benefit to engaging with his breathing technique.

I have discovered other breathing techniques through my yoga practice and with my meditation coach SevaRam Spronk. I love all of it.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy

My favorite healing modality is Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy. Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy is based on the principle that the body has an innate ability to heal itself when its energy flow is balanced and unobstructed.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy offers a gentle yet powerful approach to promoting health and well-being by restoring the body’s natural energy balance. It can be an effective tool for addressing a wide range of physical, emotional, and mental health concerns and supporting individuals on their journey toward optimal wellness.

Practitioners of Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy work with the body’s energy allowing energy to flow freely and facilitate the healing process.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy utilizes various techniques to assess and address energetic imbalances in the body. These techniques may include identifying areas of congestion or depletion, and using specific hand movements and intention to channel healing energy to the affected areas. The energy of life has all the information of wellness in it, therefore the body knows exactly what to do with it. The therapy is non-invasive, structured and typically involves light touch or hands-off approaches.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy can be used to address a wide range of physical, emotional, and mental health concerns. It is often used to alleviate pain, accelerate healing from injuries or surgeries, reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep quality, and enhance overall well-being. The therapy is gentle and suitable for people of all ages, from infants to the elderly.

Clients who receive Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy often report feeling deeply relaxed, peaceful, and energized during and after sessions. Some may experience sensations such as warmth, tingling, or subtle movements in the body as energy begins to shift and rebalance. Many clients notice improvements in their symptoms and overall well-being with continued sessions over time.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy can be used as a complementary approach alongside conventional medical treatments. While it is not a replacement for medical care, it can support the body’s natural healing processes and enhance the effectiveness of other treatments.

Each month you get to participate in an online Pure Bioenergy 4 Life Healing Event. You can register using this link. For more information about this healing modality click on any of the links above.

You will notice that I did not talk about diet and exercise. There is so much information available to you if you want to go in this direction. I felt it was better to talk about other ways to transform your body. Choose one of the modalities I’ve talked about. Experience the difference it can make in your life. I dare you!

Blog Posts Healing Practices
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Your Transformation – Mind Moves

Mind moves, mind shift, perspective change or reality re-evaluation. Whatever you call it the principle is to “change your mind”. I change my mind every day. I change my mind about what I’m going to wear. I change my mind about what to have for breakfast, lunch or dinner. I change my mind because I’m a woman – and that’s my prerogative. This kind of mind change is not what I want to talk about today.

I want to talk about what goes on in your mind when you want to make a change in your life. I want to talk about how you move your mind from negative thinking to positive thinking. This kind of mind move is the second phase in transformation.

Think of like this. The old digital alarm clocks had a SET button. You choose the time you want to wake up, scroll through the time until you get it just right and press the SET button. This keeps the time in memory. When that time rolls around, the alarm goes off. In the same way, mind moves shift you from a negative way of thinking to a positive way of thinking. You push the SET button to keep it in memory.

A powerful mind move involves moving from a victim mentality to a mind SET of empowerment. Instead of feeling helpless and at the mercy of external circumstances, you recognize your natural strength and responsibility in shaping your own destiny.

For example, rather than dwelling on past traumas over things that happened to you, you get to reframe the event as an experience that shaped your resilience and ability to overcome adversity. You’re still standing. The fact that you are still standing is testament to your strength and resilience.

Transitioning from a fixed mind SET to a growth mind SET is another important mind move. Rather than believing your abilities and qualities are fixed traits, you get to see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. This is a growth mind move. You move to embrace setbacks as temporary rather than insurmountable obstacles and approach life with a sense of curiosity. You are open to new experiences.

Many women who have experienced trauma struggle with self-doubt and low self-esteem. A mind move in this area involves cultivating self-confidence and self-belief.

When I learned that it was necessary for me to make this mind move, I panicked. I didn’t think it was possible. I believed that this was the way I was and it could not change. If you think this way or this statement fills you with anxiety, please, take a deep breath, exhale slowly and believe that you can cultivate self-confidence.

Cultivating self-confidence involves challenging negative self-talk and replacing it with affirmations of self-worth and capability. For example, instead of telling myself, “I’m not good enough,” I affirm, “I am worthy of love and respect, and I have the strength to overcome any challenge.” It can seem so simple, yet the result of replacing negative self-talk with positive affirmation is SO PROFOUND.

Positive affirmations provide a counterbalance to negative thoughts. Affirming statements challenge and replace destructive beliefs with more empowering beliefs. Repeating positive affirmations gradually rewires your brain to adopt positive and supportive thought patterns, leading to improved self-esteem and self-worth.

Positive affirmations cultivate self-compassion by offering words of kindness, understanding, and acceptance. By affirming your own worthiness, strength, and resilience, you learn to treat yourself with greater kindness and compassion, nurturing a deeper sense of self-love and acceptance.

Positive affirmations inject hope and optimism into your life reminding you that healing is possible and that better days lie ahead. Declarations such as “I trust in the healing process,” “I believe in my ability to heal,” and “I am deserving of a bright future” instill a sense of hope and possibility. This motivates you to persevere on your journey of recovery.

Fear often holds us back from pursuing our dreams and living life to the fullest. A mind move from fear to courage involves acknowledging the presence of your fear but not letting it dictate your actions.

It means stepping out of our comfort zone and taking a bold leap of faith, even in the face of uncertainty. For example, instead of allowing fear of failure to paralyze you, you get to embrace the unknown and take a calculated risk to pursue your goals and dreams.

Take risks. Try new experiences that stretch your abilities and expand your horizons. It may be scary at first, but the effort will be so worth it.

Finally, a transformative mind move involves shifting from an attitude of scarcity to one of abundance. Instead of viewing life through a lens of lack and limitation, you get to see abundance and possibility all around you.

Abundance is not only financial. If you open your heart and your eyes you will see the abundance in your life. I like to go for a walk in the woods regularly. I see the power of the trees and the wind. I see the beauty of the forest floor. I breathe in the clean air. This to me is abundance. Abundance, for me, is looking into the eyes of my children and grandchildren, being thankful they have been given to me and I feel rich. I can look in my fridge and see that I have enough, even if it’s only enough for today.

This may involve practicing gratitude for what you already have and adopting an abundance mind SET that attracts more positivity and abundance into your life. For example, rather than focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have to be grateful for and trust that your needs will be provided.

I find that writing down the things I am grateful for today is an impactful practice. I am reminded of all things, people, places, and experiences I have had. I see how these have impacted my life and I live with a grateful heart. I can also be grateful for my future and picture what that looks like.

I know a woman named Lena. Lena had always felt like she was merely surviving, navigating her days with a heavy heart and a sense of resignation. Deep within her soul, she longed for something more—a life filled with purpose, joy, and fulfillment.

One day, as Lena sat in her tiny apartment, surrounded by the familiar trappings of her existence, she couldn’t shake the feeling that there had to be more to life than what she was experiencing. She yearned for a change, a transformation that would break the chains of her self-imposed limitations and set her spirit free.

With a flicker of determination, Lena embarked on a journey of self-discovery—a journey that would challenge her beliefs, push her boundaries, and ultimately lead her to profound transformation.

As Lena delved into the depths of her own psyche, she encountered the first hurdle on her path: the victim mindset. This mindset held her captive for a long time.

She realized that she had been allowing her past traumas to define her, casting herself as the helpless victim of circumstances beyond her control. But in that moment of awareness, Lena made a conscious choice to reclaim her power—to rise above her past and embrace her innate strength and resilience.

With each move forward, Lena encountered new challenges that tested her resolve. She faced moments of doubt and uncertainty, grappling with the fear of the unknown that threatened to hold her back. But instead of allowing fear to dictate her actions, Lena summoned the courage within her—the courage to step into the unknown, to trust in her own abilities, and to pursue her dreams with unwavering determination.

Along the way, Lena discovered the transformative power of a growth mindset—a belief in her own potential to learn, grow, and evolve. She realized that setbacks were not roadblocks, but rather opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

With each challenge she encountered, Lena embraced the opportunity to expand her horizons, to push past her comfort zone, and to emerge stronger and more resilient than before.

As Lena journeyed deeper into the heart of her own transformation, she began to see the world through new eyes—an abundance mindset opened her heart to the infinite possibilities that surrounded her. She realized that life was not a zero-sum game, but rather a tapestry of abundance and opportunity, waiting to be woven into the fabric of her own unique story.

In the end, Lena emerged from her journey of transformation not as a mere survivor, but as a beacon of hope and inspiration to all who knew her. She had exceeded her limitations, embraced her true essence, and stepped into a reality filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment.

Now, you get to choose how your transformation develops.  This is ALL about you. No one can take it away. It is nobody else’s business. Your transformation is NOT selfish. Your transformation is the MOST loving act you can do for yourself. Without loving yourself it is impossible to love anyone else.

By making these mind moves, your get to transform your perspective on life. You get to unlock your full potential. You get to create a reality filled with joy, purpose, and fulfillment. This is your journey of self-discovery and empowerment. This journey begins with changing the way you think and perceive the world around you.

The next blog post in this series is the exploration of the huge impact healing methods can have on your transformation.

Remember that trauma does not define you. You choose how to live your life.  

Handling Life
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PERIL, PEARL, PURITY

Throughout our lives, we encounter perils.  There are dangers, risks, and potential hazards that exist around us constantly.  Most of the people in this group have experienced firsthand dangers, a life-threatening danger, a loss, not just the risk of loss but the actual loss of homes, jobs, friends, reputation, children, and financial stability.  There are also vehicle accidents which damage bodies, kill loved ones, and create permanent change to lives.   Having to leave your home because of domestic violence, or war, or natural disaster creates a serious and immediate danger.  Another peril is death of a loved one or divorce which can lead to years of depression, anxiety, and loss of self worth.  These perils have additional impacts on your well-being.  Hans Selye defines these types of stresses as physiological stress, psychological stress, and psycho-social stress.  To be on earth is to be exposed to dangers, problems, threats, menaces, and troubles.

When a peril occurs, the immediate threat must be addressed.  Get to safety, secure yourself and your loved ones.  Emergency personnel may assist with this.  An entire industry of insurance has been created over the centuries to try to compensate for the financial loss which may occur as the result of a peril.  But who is assisting with the psychological, psycho-social, and physiological affects of the peril?  There are many areas that need healing.  What happens after the acute aspect of the peril, is what goes on to shape one’s perception, belief pattern and life as a result of the incident.

Let’s start with changing our thoughts about the incident, peril, or trauma.  This is not to diminish the tragedy.  It is simply a way to look at it with a new lens so the pain can diminish and the wound can heal.   Let’s look at what nature can show us.

Creating Pearls

In nature, oysters, clams and mussels can all produce pearls.  Certain species of oysters called Pinctada, create the most pearls.  They are located deep in the ocean.  Let’s take a lesson from the oyster.  The formation of a pearl begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle and shell. This irritation causes the oyster to attempt to protect itself, producing nacre to cover the foreign substance.  Over time, these layers form a pearl. It can take from 6 months to 4 years to create a pearl.  The oyster has transformed the irritation, the hurt, into something beautiful.  

In our lives, the peril, loss, danger can loom large, even after the occurrence.  As we dwell on the loss, and hurt, the presence of it becomes larger.  Our intention of attention to the hurt, loss, and pain keeps it in the fore front of our mind.  We can bring it into conversation at every opportunity.   He did this, she did that.  This happened.  Yes, it did.  It was awful.  We survived it.  It can take up more space and has the potential to crowd out other elements of our being.  Whatever you focus on increases.  With intent, we too can create transformation of a big hurt, into a thing of beauty.  The pain, loss, shame, and hurt need not define us, just as the oyster uses nacre to cover the irritation, causing the rough, jagged edges of the foreign object to be smoothed over.  

We do have a choice. We can choose to allow the hurt to dissipate.  We can smooth off those rough edges of a painful memory.  This will take intention.  This takes the willingness to be willing to change.  The resolution is not necessarily in restitution.  See Rose’s article on Letting Go https://woundedwomenrising.ca/2023/09/let-it-go/.   Meditation is one way to create the space for allowing for something different; as well as time with God, in prayer, in nature, in acts of kindness.  Treat yourself with loving kindness.  Treat others the same. What do you require to feel secure?  

Imagine what you want your life to look like.  Fill in the details. Colour this picture of your life in the colours you choose.  You can draw an actual picture and put it up where you will see it. Choose a daily practice of some spiritual element. Read, pray, set intentions, focus on love.

Love becomes our nacre. Love creates peace, tranquility, stillness and purity.  Love is wholly transformational. Holy and wholly.

Peace is something we carry within us.  Peace is not shaken by external influences.  Peace is a practice.

The irritation (peril) will be transformed into a thing of beauty.   The purity of the pearl is what gives it value. The irritation is long forgotten and all that remains is the pearl’s translucent beauty shining into the world.   

A peril can be your opportunity to allow the love that exists within you, to transform your hurt into healing, your peril into pearls.