Lying

Truth. There is a lot of talk around the word truth. Pontius Pilot asked Jesus, “What is truth?” We want everyone around us to tell us the truth even though we often do not want to hear the truth. Truth can hurt. We do everything we can to avoid hurt. Truth can also set us free. Truth can release the bonds of deceit, even release us from the lies we tell ourselves. You can handle the truth. We can handle the truth because the truth set us free. We are strong enough and courageous to look at the lies, turn them around and seek out the truth.

As much as we tell ourselves lies, we also tell ourselves truths. Can you imagine how different life would be if you decided to live being truthful to yourself?

Your body is your truth detector. You feel lies and truth in your body. The truth will bring you to a place of peace. A lie creates discord, and conflict. In your body a lie looks like an upset stomach. Your throat may be tight urging you to cough or clear your throat. You may experience back pain. Your blood pressure is elevated. Adrenaline pumps through your body.

When one engages in deceit, your respiratory and heart rate increases. You sweat, your mouth goes dry, and your voice can shake. Some of these physiological effects form the basis of the classic lie-detector (polygraph) test. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/pleased-meet-me/202001/the-truth-about-lying-and-what-it-does-the-body

When you lie your body is suffering. When you lie your brain gets overwhelmed and your cortisol level increases. Cortisol creates inflammation. Your memory goes into overdrive trying to remember the lie or the truth. Lying is detrimental to your health according to Arthur Markman Ph.D. Dr. Markman says, “The very second that lie leaves your lips your body releases cortisol into your brain. Just a few minutes later your memory goes into overdrive trying to remember both the lie and the truth. Decision making becomes more difficult and you could even project your discomfort as anger. This is all in the first 10 minutes.”

“The coherence between the heart and the brain brings alignment and decreases stress. Living a lie breaks the alignment. Living the truth strengthens the alignment.” www.heartmath.org

Notre Dame did a research project looking into lying. The study involved 110 volunteers. Half the volunteers agreed to stop lying and the other half received no instruction. At the end of 10 weeks the group that lied less often had 54% fewer mental complaints (like stress or anxiety) and 56% few physical health issues (like headaches or digestive issues). US News, How Lying Affects Your Health.

The jury is in. Lying affects your health. That includes lying to yourself. So, would you agree that lying to yourself needs to change?

Turn off your analytical brain. Converge with your body. When you engage in your head you neglect your emotions and the feelings in your body. Emotions provide a shortcut to your truth. You will feel the truth in your body. You will have a deep sense of peace and your mind will be clear when you begin living life being true to yourself. You will feel a sense of love, a sense of joy. You will be more patient. You will act out of kindness more often. You will have a soulful sense of goodness.

We have one exercise for you to try. This exercise does not take a long time. If you find the exercise difficult to do, be willing to try again later in the day or tomorrow. Keep trying until you become comfortable with this exercise. Have a pen and notebook with you to write down the revelations. If you are not into journaling use the voice recorder on your phone.

The Heart Intention Exercise

Sit or lie down. Get relaxed. If you are tired sitting may be better than laying down. Take a few deep breaths. Make sure your face is soft and your shoulders are away from your ears. Close your eyes. Envision one of your favourite places. It may be by the lake. It may be in the mountains. It may be on a beach. Breathe deep. Take in the surroundings. Smell the air. Hear the sounds. Take the time to go to a still quiet place and listen. Pay attention to your body. Let everything fall away from your consciousness. (This is where I usually fall asleep. 😴) Resist the urge to sleep. Keep in mind that your heart will always tell you the truth. If you have someone with you, they can ask you the following questions. If you are alone, ask them to yourself aloud.

Ask a few questions and wait for the answers.

What is my truth?

What would you have me do?

What would you have me say?

Where am I to go?

Listen.

If you have a belief in God, ask God to reveal His truth about you to you. I asked this question in 2019. I still stand amazed at how He revealed His truth about me to me throughout that year.

The truth is your heart is 60,000 times more powerful than your brain. Attend to your heart. What is your hearts desire? Put your hands on your heart and listen.

The truth is you are loveable.

The truth is whatever you set your mind to; you can achieve.

The truth is you are becoming the woman you are designed to be.

The truth is you are beautiful.

The truth is you are enough just as you are.

The truth is you are intelligent.

The truth is you are of sound mind and body.

The truth is you have a spirit of power and love.

The truth is you are not alone.

The truth is your past is forgivable.

The truth is your emotions matter, especially to you.

The truth is you deserve all the good coming your way.

The truth is there is someone out there that understands.

The truth is what happened yesterday does not need to happen tomorrow.

The truth is you CAN change your life. Change your thoughts, change your life.

The truth is mistakes are opportunities to learn.

The truth is you are responsible for your actions, no one else’s actions.

The truth is we are a community. We are meant for community. Please feel free to say what you feel inside this community.

When you listen to your heart you establish a new baseline to improve your health and emotional experience. Listening to the truth in your heart builds deeper intuition and internal guidance, a new sense of clarity. As you live your truth, feelings of love and compassion create a cascade of positive effects throughout the body such as clear thinking, emotional stability, and better choices. Living your truth creates balance and cooperation instead of competition and stress. https://www.heartmath.org/science/

Every day for the month of December, Rose and Judy are going to do the Heart Intention Exercise. We know we are creating positive change for how we will go into 2023. We invite you to join us on this excursion.

Take 10 minutes to do this Heart Intention Exercise. Feel your life improve as you create coherence.

Share your experience.

For the past week or more, I have been trying to write an article on lies. Lying and where do lies come from. I have been stuck in my writing process. I also have had severe back pain. I go to my first area of relief which is PureBioenergy Healing Therapy. The thing about PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is that it heals on all levels. This means the emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our being are addressed as well as the physical.

In this process of healing, I uncover a lie that I have been living. I chose to leave my “past life” as I call it in the past. I thought that if I don’t think about it anymore, it will not affect me. In some ways, this is true. I do not have the anxiety I experienced prior to leaving my ex-husband. I present outwardly as someone who can make decisions, albeit in a slower fashion than most. I have a quick wit and enjoy making people laugh.

I am a sensitive. One of those people who feels things deeply. When someone shares their story, I can truly empathize. The month of October holds some strong emotional ties for me. My first marriage was in October, my beautiful daughter was born in October. And the apple incident happened in October.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, there was a bright sunny Saturday morning. My then husband had gone out with his friends on a motorcycle ride which was often his Saturday and Sunday morning routine. My friend, Maryon had invited my daughter and myself to go with her and her daughters to an apple orchard to pick apples. My ex-husband knew we were going to the orchard.

It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. The girls enjoyed picking the apples off the shorter trees and finding ripe red ones on the ground. My daughter and I picked a full bushel of apples. I was excited to have them to eat fresh as a snack. I make a great apple pie, with my Mom’s pie crust recipe, and apple crisp was often a breakfast food in my house.

Maryon’s daughters were older than my daughter. They wanted us to join them at the Spooky Farm which was a farm with a haunted house exhibit and where one could buy pumpkins.

I had tried to phone my ex to let him know we would be out later than originally planned. I Knew this was important. He did not answer the call. I knew it was close to lunch time and I had not left him a suitable lunch. My daughter and I had eaten enough apples, so we were not hungry. We headed out with our friends to the Spooky Farm. I did not realize how far away from our home this Spooky Farm was, having never been there.

I had a feeling of dread as I realized the time was now much later than I had said I would be home. We stayed a very short time at the farm. My daughter was now starting to pick up on my anxiety. She was happy to leave the Spooky Farm. We drove home. As soon as I drove up the driveway, I knew we were in trouble.

My ex-husband was furious that I had not been home when he got home from his ride. He was swearing at us before we got into the house. He sent my daughter upstairs to her room.

I had carried the bushel of apples we had picked into the kitchen. In his rage, he proceeded to throw every apple from the bushel at me. I could not talk to him or stop the madness. I had round apple shaped bruises on my back, my legs, my arms for weeks afterward. The beautiful red apples we so carefully picked, were splattered all over the kitchen. Every single apple was thrown. Then he left. I cleaned up all the smashed apples. Those that were salvageable I made into apple sauce. Months later I would find bits of dried apple under the fridge.

I never went apple picking again.

The irony is that I was worried that someone might find out what had happened. That I had made my husband that angry. I did not want my daughter to tell her teacher or anyone what had happened. I did not tell anyone till years later in therapy.

I share this story now because the shame, fear, anxiety I had that day, I know is felt by another woman. I know my daughter carries the pain of that day.

We are not responsible for someone else’s misplaced anger. We did nothing wrong. We do not need to lie to cover the pain caused by another’s actions. It happened. It is true. It is sad. It is so sad that a beautiful, sunny fall day has such a blight on it. The smell of fresh picked apple is bittersweet to me.

What Is the Truth?

The Story before the Story… the Apple Incident