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Stress, Distress, Eustress and You

As we go along this path called life, we may at some points find ourselves in situations, environments, relationships, or circumstances that we consider stressful.  These bumps along the road, which can, at times feel more like craters rather than just a pothole to avoid, impact us in many ways.    No human is immune to times of stress. Even Queen Elizabeth II had what she phrased as her “annus horribilis”.

”1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an annus horribilis”

 Stress is considered part of life.  But what exactly is stress?

Hans Selye, a pioneering endocrinologist, introduced the concept of “stress” in a medical context and developed the General Adaptation Syndrome model to describe the body’s response to stressors.

The physical, chemical, and biological responses in his theory of resistance or adaptation after an injury.  “Stress,” Selye insisted, “is essentially the rate of all the wear and tear caused by life.”1  Selye identified these stages as alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Understanding these different responses and how they relate to each other may help you cope with stress. The Alarm stage is the immediate response to an event, imagine being cut off while driving in heavy traffic, your heart rate and breathing increase, you may swear, and feel tense. Once the danger passes your heart rate , breathing return to normal.  The fight-or-flight or freeze response that occurs in the alarm stage is for your protection. A higher hormone level of cortisone, or adrenaline is for your benefit. It provides you with energy and improves your concentration so you can focus and tackle the situation. When stress is short-term or short-lived, the alarm stage isn’t harmful.

Some stressful situations, like going through a divorce, or a high stress job continue for extended periods of time. If the stress is not resolved, your body remains on high alert, it eventually adapts and learns how to live with a higher stress level. In this stage, the body goes through changes that you may not be conscious of to cope with stress.

Your body continues to secrete the stress hormones and your blood pressure remains elevated. You may think you’re managing stress well, but your body’s physical response tells a different story. If the resistance stage continues for too long without the break needed to reset, restore and recover to offset the effects of stress, this can lead to the exhaustion stage.  Resistance stage includes irritability, frustration and poor concentration. Sleep is interrupted, not as deep, and does not get to the necessary stage of cell renewal.

The exhaustion stage is the result of prolonged, chronic stress.  Exhaustion stage happens when your physical, emotional and mental resources are drained to the point where you can no longer have the strength to fight stress. A little event may be what breaks the proverbial camels back.  Hopelessness, fatigue, burnout, depression and anxiety are indicators, of this stage.  Decreased stressed tolerance and decreased immunity also factor in.   The physical effects put you at risk for stress-related illness.

  When does stress become a problem?  What can we do to counter the effects of stress?

​  The specific ranking of life events by stress level, known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), was developed by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967. This scale assigns Life Change Units (LCUs) to various life events to quantify their stress impact. The top 10 stress-inducing life events according to the SRRS are:​

  1. Death of a spouse – 100 LCUs​
  2. Divorce – 73 LCUs​
  3. Marital separation – 65 LCUs​
  4. Imprisonment – 63 LCUs​
  5. Death of a close family member – 63 LCUs​
  6. Personal injury or illness – 53 LCUs​
  7. Marriage – 50 LCUs​
  8. Dismissal from work – 47 LCUs​
  9. Marital reconciliation – 45 LCUs​
  10. Retirement – 45 LCUs​

These events are considered significant stressors that may increase the risk of health issues. It’s important to note that individual responses to these events can vary, and personal coping mechanisms play a crucial role in managing stress. ​ Remember, this prognosis may not be true in all cases for all people. It depends on the individual. The belief system they have, the support they have, and the coping mechanisms they employ.  A marriage is happy occasion so why would it be on the list? A marriage brings with it change. Change is not a bad thing and is often a necessary requirement to advancement and growth. It is how we perceive change that creates either a resistance or enhancement response in us.  A wedding can be stressful due to the perceived obligations, we put upon ourselves. It can also be a joyous celebration of the love we share.  Eustress is a positive stress. It is performance enhancing, often a short-term experience where one has perceived control, and it improves well-being. Imagine studying for a big exam, or interview, excelling at it, and the confidence, joy and courage you receive because of your efforts.  The impetus, the push either from yourself or a coach, parent, mentor, advisor, trainer is needed to get you to do the work required to reach your full potential.  That is one of the reasons for deadlines.  Humans are motivated by either the pleasure of reward, or by the avoidance of the pain, disappointment, or penalty or embarrassment of not doing the ‘thing’.  The whole income tax system in this country is precipitated by this principle.  How many people find doing their tax return to be stressful?   It is the reward at the end of a challenge that we focus on.  This is true of so many projects, endeavors, goals we set. There may well be frustrations along the path to the goal.  Focus on the result. Jeff Kranos tell us that “Acute short-term stress in the human body confers a health benefit and activates pathways that promote longevity and resilience.”  Good Stress. To build muscle, the muscle fibres need to be worked beyond their current capacity. Then rest is required, nutrition to fuel the growth of the muscle before the muscle is ready to be worked again.  Good Stress.

 Distress on the other hand, decreases performance. It can come with emotional, physical, and mental symptoms including but not limited to, back pain, headaches, digestive issues, irritability, emotional outburst of anger, tears, sadness,  apathy, lack of self-care, vision issues, sleep disturbances, mood swings, and brain fog or lack of focus or feelings of overwhelm.  If we stay in Distress for too long, it can lead to more serious issues like depression, high blood pressure, adrenal, hormonal and heart concerns. Distress can lead to dis ease.  Distress doesn’t allow for the rest and recovery period.  Our minds, bodies and emotions need to have a rest period to renew, restore and grow.

The Good News is:  You have the keys to change the outcome.  Our beautiful brains have plasticity. Most our bodies cells renew daily. Your biofield contains the energy of life.  It gives you the energy to live well. Bioenergy, the energy of life, provides us with the energy, needed to live. When the bioenergy is gone, the body is life-less.  Bio means life.   So be good to your biofield. “The body is an energy system in constant energetic interaction with its environment.”  “Healing happens on a non-conscious level through a transformation of the way you think and act.” Z. Hochstatter.  Our thoughts create.  It is essential to watch your thoughts.

Here is a list of practical things you can do starting today to help balance your stress levels.

1: Identify whether you are stressed. Just because something is happening outside of you, does not mean you need to stress about it.  You can choose whether you want it to concern you or not.  2: Identify your stressor. Is it a physical environment, work environment,  personal relationship, your self-image? Are your thoughts destructive to your peace of mind?   Are you at battle with your values?

 3: Identify the reason for stressor. Can you change your location if it is too noisy, or the temperature is irritating?  Is it an internal or external stressor?  Are there steps you can take to change?  Now make a plan.  

 4: Identify and apply an appropriate stress management strategy.  You can make changes to how you are living. Sit down and write a list of what is bothering you.  Leave space to write in the answers/solutions to the concerns.  Make another list of how you would like your life to be.  Be specific.

Ask yourself what habits are detrimental to your well-being?  What are you doing to bring joy into your daily life?  Can you speak with a trusted friend, counsellor or therapist?

 DO some physical activity, preferably outside!  Walking for 25 minutes a day has been proven to lower blood pressure and improve the metabolic rate.  Look at your diet. Sugar is a killer. Sugar feeds cancer and disrupts hormones.  (  I like cake on special occasions too.  A delicious chocolate cake brings me joy. One of the things that make it special is that it is a special occasional treat, not a staple food:} I bless it and eat it.

Every month Rose and I offer a PureBioenergy Healing Therapy for Stress Reduction. We know that stress causes 80% or more of all illnesses. “The energy we work with is informed. It is creative. This means it has the power to create or recreate the well-being of the person. When this happens, it happens on all levels. It happens on the physical level, emotional level, mental level and spiritual level. “We don’t address the illness, we address the health.” Zoran Hochstatter – 3 Chairs.  Sign up for and attend the 4 day PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online.    Experience the change that happens when you start to be healthy, happy and joyful.  Private PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is available in person or by distance for specific issues or ailments as well. You can reach me at [email protected] to set up an appointment.   The reason we offer a monthly PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online is that it provides a consistent method to balance stress so  you do not get to the exhaustive stage.  Here is the link to be put on the mailing list for our monthly healing events.

2024 was a highly stressful year for me, and my family.  I give credit to God, prayer and PureBioenergy Healing Therapy which I asked for, paid for, and received the many benefits of mental, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am grateful for the friends that checked in, walked with me, and made me laugh along the way.  Stress can make us a stronger, resilient compassionate person.  We manage stress, so it does not control us.

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Watch What You Think

Why do we think the way we think? 

What has informed us? One element of being human is that we are consistently seeking new information.  We think that is knowledge.  The news, social media, libraries, the education systems all exist because of our desire to know.  Curiosity is a good thing.

Well, maybe not for cats.

Do we believe things just because we are told that those things are true? How many things throughout history that have been believed to be true are false?  They are so far from being true that in some ways we cannot fathom that people believed them.  For centuries, it was believed that women were less intelligent than men. It was believed that certain cultures or races were less intelligent than the race in power at the time.  It was believed that the earth was the centre of the universe.   These were presented as facts.  Yet these presumed facts are as far from the truth as can be.

History shows us that just thinking something is so, does not make it so.  

You have heard it said that your thoughts create your actions, your actions create your habits, and your habits create your life.   What are those thoughts that are creating your actions?  What is the recording that is playing in the background of our mind?  Where did those thoughts come from?  Are those thoughts true?

 It is worthwhile to examine those thoughts which we hold to be true. Joe Dispenza says to mediate is to become familiar with.  Are we even familiar with the thoughts that percolate though our mind?   As a mother, how often have we said to our children, usually when trying to correct behavior; “Now you sit there, and think about it”. Think about what? Without giving them guidance on how to address an issue or solve a problem, or change their perceived correct response, how can they be expected to think any differently?   Is this not true for ourselves?

In the book, A Course in Miracles, it states in one of the 365  lessons  “All my thoughts are past thoughts”.   Unless we are willing to introduce or imagine a new way of thinking, we are destined to repeat the same thoughts. Fortunately, this book does teach ways of changing our thought patterns.

The mind, the body and the spirit are not separate.  They are intertwined by a constant, cascade of intelligent energy.   There has been much research on how the state of this synchronized and harmonious activity between the heart, brain, and other physiological systems affect the body.  When the heart and brain are in coherence, it can have profound effects on both physical and emotional well-being.  When the heart and the brain are in a state of coherence levels of stress hormones, such a cortisol decrease, and the levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine increase.  In other words, I feel good. I can think clearly. I am calm. My mind is creative. I can solve problems.  My relationship with myself and others improves.

This wholeness of heart, mind and spirit is wellness.  This energy informs our cells. It is the energy of life.  To heal is to make whole.  There is no separation of heart, mind or spirit.

Therefore, the thoughts do influence our heart.  And our heart influences our thoughts.

Something to think about.

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Coping With Chaos: A Guide for Wounded Women

How many times in the past few years have you wished you could unplug from the chaos surrounding you?

I remember thinking that I just wanted to get off the merry-go-round. I could not get a grip, a hold on anything. And I doubted everything.

When my wasband was having an affair, I knew it deep in my soul. Even though I knew it, I could not prove it. With no proof, I convinced myself that I was imagining it. But there was that niggling deep down that something was very wrong.

The thoughts that spun around in my mind were chaotic. I suffered. I suffered because I did not know what to believe, including myself. The questions assaulted me day and night. The how’s, the who’s, the what’s, the why’s. Even the question of “What did I do to cause this?”

The chaos leaked over from my mind into my life. At one point I felt completely immobilized. Then, the proof began to rise to the surface. I felt vindicated by the proof, but it did not quiet the chaos. A whole new onslaught of “stinking thinking” took over. I wanted off the merry-go-round and I wanted off NOW!

Chaos refers to a state of disorder, confusion, or unpredictability. It manifests in various forms, disrupting your sense of order and the stability that we look for.

For wounded women, emotional chaos is a prevalent aspect of our lives. This impact of trauma leads to a wide range of intense feelings such as fear, anxiety, anger, and deep sadness. These emotions can surface unexpectedly, contributing to our sense of internal turmoil.

Chaos can be triggered by unexpected events or reminders of past trauma. The unpredictable nature of these triggers adds an element of instability, making it challenging for you to predict and manage your emotional responses.

Chaos extends to all our relationships, with trust issues, difficulties in forming connections, and challenges in keeping healthy boundaries. The aftermath of trauma can affect the way wounded women engage with others, leading to interpersonal struggles and a sense of uncertainty in our social circles.

Wounded women grapple with the unknown, fearing what might come next. We have spent a lot of time trying to control the daily events of our lives, always predicting the worst-case scenario and planning what we would do when the bomb exploded. This uncertainty can further contribute to a sense of chaos in our lives, even when we are removed from the cause of our trauma. Do you feel unable to anticipate or control the challenges ahead?

Trauma shakes the foundations of our identity, leading to a profound loss of self. As wounded women we experience the sense of disconnection from who we once were, contributing to a state of existential chaos as we question our purpose, our values, and our place in the world.

Chaos is often cyclical, with one challenge leading to another. We may find ourselves caught in a loop of difficulties, each compounding the other. Breaking this cycle becomes crucial for restoring a sense of order and control.

Understanding the multifaceted nature of chaos is a crucial step in addressing and navigating the impact on our lives. By acknowledging and dissecting the different dimensions of chaos, we can begin to develop strategies for coping, healing, and reclaiming a sense of stability and purpose.

Within the chaos, there is the potential for healing and growth. The journey towards recovery involves navigating the complexities of trauma, facing challenges, and transforming pain into resilience. This dual nature highlights the absurd coexistence of chaos and potential renewal.

Acknowledging and harnessing this potential can empower you on your journey toward recovery. Let’s explore the ways which healing and growth can emerge amid chaos.

Imagine if you could build resilience as the cornerstone of your healing.

Chaos often unveils the natural resilience and strength within individuals. In navigating the complexities of our experiences, we discover an inner determination that allows us to face adversity head-on. This resilience becomes a cornerstone for our healing.

Each challenge inside the chaos offers us an opportunity to learn and grow. As we face difficulties we get new insights, skills, and perspectives. These lessons contribute to our personal development and resilience.

Think of a time when you said no when you usually would have said yes or maybe would have said nothing at all. These times showed you that the world did not fall apart when you took control of your thoughts, values and notions and stood up for yourself. This recognition shows you that you are strong.

How many times did you keep getting up and keep going, after hardship and misfortune? This shows that you are resilient.

The chaos following trauma prompts a deep exploration of our identity. Through introspection and self-discovery, we have the opportunity to redefine who we are. We get to shed old stories and embrace a more authentic sense of who we are. This process is fundamental to the healing journey.

The chaos of trauma often prompts existential questions. When we seek meaning and purpose, we embark on a journey of profound self-reflection. This quest for significance contributes to a sense of direction and clarity, fostering a deeper understanding of our life’s purpose.

Overcoming chaos nurtures a sense of empowerment. As we navigate and conquer challenges, we gain a newfound belief in our ability to overcome adversity. This empowerment becomes a catalyst for further growth.

Nothing causes the development of coping mechanisms more than chaos. In our quest for stability, we often discover healthy coping strategies. Strategies such as a mindfulness practice, creative outlets, or therapeutic interventions. These tools become essential for managing the impact of chaos.

Chaos tends to pull us into the hullabaloo of past traumas or anxieties about an uncertain future. Through mindfulness practices, wounded women can cultivate an awareness of the present moment. The benefit of mindfulness is the reduction of overwhelming emotions and the fostering of a sense of calm amid the chaos.

Healing is often helped through connections with others who understand and empathize. As wounded women we can find solace in support networks— with fellow survivors, friends, and family. Building and nurturing these connections becomes a source of emotional sustenance and shared strength.

Seeking professional help, with a focus on your outcome rather than a reminder of your past, can be a transformative step toward healing. Therapists provide guidance, tools, and a safe space for processing trauma, fostering growth, and facilitating the integration of coping mechanisms.

Chaos often involves significant change. Embracing change as a catalyst for personal transformation allows women to reshape their stories. This adaptability becomes a powerful force for positive change.

The potential for healing and growth during chaos lies in the resilience, self-discovery, empowerment, and connections that emerge through the journey of overcoming trauma. By recognizing and nurturing these aspects, wounded women can navigate the complexities of their experiences and move towards a future marked by strength, purpose, and renewed well-being. We believe that when a woman heals, the world is healed, one woman at a time.

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Healing

Healing

To heal is to make whole.  To heal is to be happy.  Happiness and health go hand in hand.

When we are operating at our maximum potential we are happy, energetic, enthusiastic, and joyful.  We are a pleasure to be around, and we are social.  We like ourselves and others.

When illness, stress, worry, pain, anxiety and fear upset our biological balance.  We get cranky.

We complain, we have a difficult time to see the joy in the moment.  The items, activities, and people that would usually add  to our enjoyment, don’t.   Our thoughts turn to the lower energy frequencies of hopelessness, depression, anger and despair.  We want to rant, cry, bitch about something, anything, everything.    “I am not happy. I don’t feel good.  I am angry. I am disappointed.  I am despondent.  I am hurt.  My body hurts, my feelings hurt, my mind hurts.  I have no joy. No love, no fun, no goodness. Nothing good ever happens for me”

Peace to you my child. The goodness is always with you.  The peace resides within you.

There is a wonderful way to heal. It has been in existence since the beginning. It is pure.

Healing is a profound journey that extends beyond the conscious mind.  In reality, healing starts with the non-conscious.   It involves the creative energy that gives life to all living things.  The Latin word bios means life .

Zoran Hochstatter , expert, author, speaker, filmmaker, innovator in Biofield Therapy and the key educator behind Purebioenergy Training says, ” Bioenergy is the life sustaining force of the Universe.  There is no life without Bioenergy.”  

The information of health is contained within this bioenergy.  All forces of the universe, including human consciousness , are transformations of this cosmic energy.

Every living being has a biofield.  The biofield is the energetic, electro-magnetic essence of each living thing. It is  affected by the environment, our thoughts, and habits. The biofield communicates at the speed of light with every cell in our bodies.  The body is  self-healing.

Purebioenergy restores and balances bioenergetic information to activate the body’s own innate healing mechanisms.   Purebioenergy addresses the information/ frequency of Health , not illness.  Transmission of this information of Health, adjusts and balances the biofield to restore health on all the levels of the human existence – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

When a person is under stress, be it physical, mental or environmental, their immune system will break at its weakest point.   Cells become weak, misinformed, confused and do not function as they should.    

Information contained in this pure, coherent, all-knowing energy, helps reactivate the immune system to operate at its best.  The immune system spreads this performance-enhancing “information” to all the cells and enables the body to heal at source.  Bioenergy is intelligent and knows what the body needs.  This means it has the power to create or recreate well-being of the person.  It happens on the physical level, emotional level, the mental level and the spiritual level. ”  

Purebioenergy Healing Therapy is structured, precise and effective.

Healing happens when the whole is restored in it’s optimal state.  When your biofield is balanced, you are healthy and happy. Life flows through you.  Joy, confidence, peace, harmony fill you.  This journey may include a transformational shift in how one chooses to be in the world.   In so doing, you not only benefit yourself but the ripple effect of happy, healthy people will  be positive to all.   

Life is good.  

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The Story before the Story… the Apple Incident

For the past week or more, I have been trying to write an article on lies. Lying and where do lies come from. I have been stuck in my writing process. I also have had severe back pain. I go to my first area of relief which is PureBioenergy Healing Therapy. The thing about PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is that it heals on all levels. This means the emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our being are addressed as well as the physical.

In this process of healing, I uncover a lie that I have been living. I chose to leave my “past life” as I call it in the past. I thought that if I don’t think about it anymore, it will not affect me. In some ways, this is true. I do not have the anxiety I experienced prior to leaving my ex-husband. I present outwardly as someone who can make decisions, albeit in a slower fashion than most. I have a quick wit and enjoy making people laugh.

I am a sensitive. One of those people who feels things deeply. When someone shares their story, I can truly empathize. The month of October holds some strong emotional ties for me. My first marriage was in October, my beautiful daughter was born in October. And the apple incident happened in October.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, there was a bright sunny Saturday morning. My then husband had gone out with his friends on a motorcycle ride which was often his Saturday and Sunday morning routine. My friend, Maryon had invited my daughter and myself to go with her and her daughters to an apple orchard to pick apples. My ex-husband knew we were going to the orchard.

It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. The girls enjoyed picking the apples off the shorter trees and finding ripe red ones on the ground. My daughter and I picked a full bushel of apples. I was excited to have them to eat fresh as a snack. I make a great apple pie, with my Mom’s pie crust recipe, and apple crisp was often a breakfast food in my house.

Maryon’s daughters were older than my daughter. They wanted us to join them at the Spooky Farm which was a farm with a haunted house exhibit and where one could buy pumpkins.

I had tried to phone my ex to let him know we would be out later than originally planned. I Knew this was important. He did not answer the call. I knew it was close to lunch time and I had not left him a suitable lunch. My daughter and I had eaten enough apples, so we were not hungry. We headed out with our friends to the Spooky Farm. I did not realize how far away from our home this Spooky Farm was, having never been there.

I had a feeling of dread as I realized the time was now much later than I had said I would be home. We stayed a very short time at the farm. My daughter was now starting to pick up on my anxiety. She was happy to leave the Spooky Farm. We drove home. As soon as I drove up the driveway, I knew we were in trouble.

My ex-husband was furious that I had not been home when he got home from his ride. He was swearing at us before we got into the house. He sent my daughter upstairs to her room.

I had carried the bushel of apples we had picked into the kitchen. In his rage, he proceeded to throw every apple from the bushel at me. I could not talk to him or stop the madness. I had round apple shaped bruises on my back, my legs, my arms for weeks afterward. The beautiful red apples we so carefully picked, were splattered all over the kitchen. Every single apple was thrown. Then he left. I cleaned up all the smashed apples. Those that were salvageable I made into apple sauce. Months later I would find bits of dried apple under the fridge.

I never went apple picking again.

The irony is that I was worried that someone might find out what had happened. That I had made my husband that angry. I did not want my daughter to tell her teacher or anyone what had happened. I did not tell anyone till years later in therapy.

I share this story now because the shame, fear, anxiety I had that day, I know is felt by another woman. I know my daughter carries the pain of that day.


We are not responsible for someone else’s misplaced anger. We did nothing wrong. We do not need to lie to cover the pain caused by another’s actions. It happened. It is true. It is sad. It is so sad that a beautiful, sunny fall day has such a blight on it. The smell of fresh picked apple is bittersweet to me.