affirmation
affirmation

affirmation

Personal Practices
Featured

AFFIRMATIONS CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Affirmations are short, powerful sentences that can help you overcome negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. An affirmation is anything we say or think, positive or negative. Our self talk is a cascade of affirmations. Every thought you think and every word you speak is an affirmation. This includes all the negative things we think and say to ourselves. Positive affirmations create love, joy, peace, prosperity, and a sense of well-being for yourself. When affirmations are used thoughtfully and consistently, they are incredibly effective in helping to combat the effects of trauma. To make a change in our life we need to retrain our thinking and speaking into positive patterns. Positive affirmations are the beginning points of change.

It is very easy to concentrate on the negatives in life. The negatives are plentiful. Louise Hay said, “Every complaint is an affirmation of something you think you don’t want in your life. Every time you get angry you are affirming you want more anger in your life. Every time you feel like a victim you are affirming you want to continue to feel like a victim. If you feel like your life does not give you want you want in your life, it is certain you will never have the goodies life gives to others until you change the way you think and talk.” We are not bad people because of the way we talk and think. No one is wrong. We have not been taught how to think and talk.  We have been taught by our parents they way they were taught to think and talk.

It is possible to find the positives and talk to ourselves in positive terms. Talking in a positive manner requires a choice. The choice is to be willing to change your focus, to ignore the negativity that exists and find something positive in every piece of self talk and circumstance we encounter. The choice is to affirm, believe and focus on the good things that float through your mind. What you believe you deserve and what you want can be two very different matters.  It takes effort and determination to change your focus from the negative to the affirmative. Pay attention to your thoughts so you can eliminate the experiences you do not want in your life and create the experiences you desire. It is time for each of us to wake up and begin to consciously create our lives in a way that pleases and support us. 

How Do Affirmations Work?

Affirmations work by re-wiring our brains to focus on the positive rather than the negative. Affirmations help us break free from negative patterns of thinking by teaching our minds to focus more on what we do want rather than what we do not want. Affirmations tell your subconscious that you are taking responsibility and there is something you can do to change. Affirmations create something new in your life. By repeating positive statements aloud (or even just in your head) frequently, we create a new neural pathway in our brains that reinforces these positive thoughts and feelings. This helps us to shift our mindset from one that is dominated by fear and negativity to one that is focused on possibility and growth. Whenever you use an affirmation say it with feeling and meaning.

If you believe that affirmations do not work, you are actually saying you do not know how to use affirmations correctly. You can say things like, “my prosperity is growing” yet think “this is stupid, it does not work.” Which affirmation will win out? If you say your affirmations once a day and complain the rest of the time. Which affirmation will win out? The negative one wins every time. The negative affirmation is part of a long-standing, habitual way of looking at life. It can take a long time for affirmations to work when practiced this way, and probably won’t work at all. People give up and discard the practice as garbage because they did not see results in a short time. In truth, they did not embrace positive affirmations. They allowed negative affirmations to win.

Tips for Incorporating Affirmations into Your Life

The most important tip is to make sure you’re actually using your affirmations regularly! You can incorporate them into your daily life easily with these simple tips:

  1. Write down your affirmations every morning or evening. It’s a great way to start or end your day with something positive. Writing down your affirmations helps you remember them better throughout the day so you can repeat them whenever you need an extra boost of positivity. Put them in your phone. Create a wallpaper or photo show on your phone.
  • Find an affirmation buddy! Having someone else who’s also trying to incorporate affirmations into their life can be really helpful in keeping each other accountable and staying motivated. You can exchange affirmations with each other or even just check in periodically throughout the week to see how it’s going!
  • Put reminders around your house or workspace so you remember to practice your affirmations throughout the day. Post-it notes, sticky tabs, phone reminders, anything you can think of. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Find something that works for you and stick with it!
  • Incorporate music into your practice – create a playlist of songs that make you feel good.  Music has an amazing ability to shift our moods quickly. This is a great way to change your state into a positive frame of mind before starting up with your affirmations for the day!

What Affirmations Should You Use.

The first thing you need to do is determine which area or areas of your life you wish to focus. Once you have made that decision you can find numerous positive affirmations. Write down the ones that ring true with you. Below are some examples. Louise Hay was the Queen of affirmations. Many of the following affirmations were taken from her work, I CAN DO IT. How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life. Pick and choose the one you will use. If you want some positive affirmations for other areas of your life, send me an email at info@woundedwomenrising.ca. I would be overjoyed to provide what you need.

Begin your affirmation practice with the following declaration:

I allow these affirmations to fill my consciousness knowing they are true for me.

HEALTH

  • I have respect for myself.
  • I accept my body as it is.
  • I love every cell of my body.
  • I make healthy choices.
  • For my own health and well being I am relentlessly positive about everything.
  • I enjoy the foods that are best for my body. I can resist anything if I choose to.
  • I take care of my body.
  • I give my body what it needs on every level.
  • I look forward to a healthy old age.
  • I am constantly discovering new ways to improve my health.
  • Healing happens. My body has what it needs to heal naturally.
  • Perfect health is my divine right. I claim it now.
  • I am grateful for my healthy body.
  • Water is my favorite beverage. I drink lots of water to cleanse my body and mind.
  • Filling my mind with pleasant thoughts is my quickest road to health.

PROSPERITY

  • Everything I need comes to me at the perfect time.
  • I willingly move from poverty thinking to prosperity thinking and my finances reflect this change.
  • I express gratitude for all the good in my life.
  • I deserve all that I desire.
  • Life supplies all my needs in great abundance. I trust life.
  • I am open to the unlimited prosperity that exists everywhere.
  • I am a magnet for money.
  • Wherever it is that I work, I am deeply appreciated and well compensated.
  • Abundance flows freely through me.
  • I pay my bills with love, and I rejoice each time.
  • I deserve the best and I accept the best now.
  • I release all resistance to money, and I allow it to flow joyously into my life.
  • I have all that I need and wealth flows to me in abundance.
  • My prosperity is always increasing.
  • I give thanks for all that I have now and for all of God’s riches.

STRESS FREE LIVING

  • I let go of all fear and doubt.
  • Life is simple and easy for me.
  • I create a stress-free world for myself.
  • I relax all my neck muscles and I let go of all tension in my shoulders.
  • I slowly breathe in and out. I relax more and more with each breath.
  • I am a capable person. I can handle anything that comes my way.
  • I am centered, focused.
  • I feel more secure each day.
  • I express my feelings.
  • I can be serene in any situation.
  • I am comfortable with my finances. I can always pay my bills on time.
  • I trust myself to deal with any problems that arise during the day.
  • I realize that stress is only fear. I now release those fears.
  • I am in the process of positive changes in all areas of my life.
  • My confidence is unshakeable because I live with integrity.

FORGIVENESS

  • The door to my heart opens inwards. I open the door to forgiveness.
  • The world around me changes when I change my thoughts.
  • I am willing to be willing to forgive.
  • The past is over, it has no power now.
  • I refuse to be helpless. I refuse to be a victim. I claim my own power.
  • I give myself the gift of freedom from the past and move with joy into the now.
  • There is no problem too big or too small that it cannot be solved with love.
  • I am ready to be healed. I am willing to forgive. All is well.
  • As I forgive myself it becomes easier to forgive others.
  • I forgive myself for not being perfect.
  • It is safe for me to release all of my childhood traumas and move into love.
  • I forgive everyone from my past for all perceived wrongs. I release them with love.
  • All the changes that lie before me are positive ones and I am safe.
  • I choose to forgive the past and I choose to move into a joyous life.
  • I am living the very best way I know how.

RELATIONSHIPS AND ROMANCE

  • I practice profound self-love.
  • From time to time, I ask those I love, “How can I love you more?”
  • I choose to see clearly with eyes of love. I love what I see.
  • I draw love and romance into my life, and I accept it now.
  • Love is around every corner and joy fills my entire world.
  • I rejoice in the love I encounter every day.
  • I am comfortable looking in the mirror and saying, “I love you. I really really love you.”
  • I deserve love, romance, and joy and all the good life has to offer me.
  • I am surrounded by love. All is well.
  • I am in a joyous, intimate relationship with a person who truly loves me. That person is me.
  • I am beautiful and everybody loves me.
  • I am greeted by love wherever I go.
  • I attract only healthy relationships.
  • I am always treated well.
  • I am very thankful for all the love in my life.
  • I find love everywhere.

SELF-ESTEEM

  • I am totally adequate for all situations.
  • I choose to feel good about myself.
  • I am worthy of my own love.
  • I stand on my own two feet. I accept and use my own power.
  • It is safe for me to speak up for myself.
  • I am loved and accepted exactly as I am right now.
  • My self esteem is high because I honour who I am.
  • My life gets more fabulous each day. I look forward to what each new hour brings.
  • I am neither too little nor too much. I do not have to prove myself to anyone.
  • Life supports me in every possible way.
  • My consciousness is filled with healthy loving thoughts that reflect themselves in my experience.
  • The greatest gift I give myself is unconditional love.
  • I love myself exactly as I am.
  • I am the master of my mind.
  • I am a pure powerful soul.

Today is a new day. Today is the day you begin to create a new joyous life. Today is the day to release all of your limitations. You can change your life for the better. You have the tools within you to create the life you desire. These tools are your thoughts and beliefs. Affirmations are powerful tools for shifting your perspective from one dominated by fear and negativity towards one focused on possibility and growth. With consistent practice, affirmations can help us break patterns of negative thinking and we learn to respond more positively to challenging situations in our lives. I trust this article has given you some practical tips about how to start incorporating affirming statements into your everyday life. Start this new practice and watch how your life will change.

Happy Affirming!

Personal Practices
Featured

Building Self Esteem

There is and has been much talk about self-esteem. Have you ever wondered why there is a lot of chatter about it? Have you wondered why self-esteem is so important? Or do you glance at those articles out of the corner of your eye, give it a humph and move on?

I often would glance at the article, give it humph and move on. That was until my self-esteem was no where to be found. This has happened to me more than once in my life. To be open and honest with you, my self-esteem was absent three times in my life.

I was one of those kids who believed what people in authority told me. As a kid we were told you don’t question those in authority. I didn’t question them – out loud. I did, however question their words in my mind and heart but never out loud.  As an adult I see that never allowing a child to question anyone is detrimental to their mental health.

When a person in authority tells you, “You’re too stupid” or “You’ll never amount to much” or are criticized for what you do repeatedly, you start to believe them. I figured they knew something I didn’t. I do admit I wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I was far from stupid. I stuttered. I learned differently than most kids in my class. I needed extra time to grasp the concepts. I also asked too many “why” questions. I needed the world to make sense to me. No one had time for those who are different. Those who are different required too much, and no one wanted to put in the time or effort to discover what made those who are different, different.

Eventually I learned to be invisible. I learned to be an observer rather than a participant. I preferred to be in the background. There were times I put myself out there to be seen. Those were fun times. It wasn’t long after that, that I would be put in my place again by a comment from one in authority. This cycle repeated itself throughout my life. This cycle eroded my self-esteem.

What do you do with eroded self-esteem? I went looking for it. I was a frequent visitor to the self-help section at the library. I read about self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth. I knew I had to do more than read. I had to do something about it. The first thing I did was find something I was good at. Through trial and error, I found that I was good at creating things with my hands. I took classes on things I was interested in. I worked in a craft shop so I could learn more. I started teaching others to do what I was learning.

I learned that as I spent time with people who had similar interests, they liked me, and I also started to like myself. I began to take better care of myself. I saw that I had value and could positively contribute to my world. I became excited about what I was doing, and imagining owning a business.  I did start my own business teaching others to create with their hands. I felt successful when people signed up and paid for my knowledge.

I learned to be kind to myself. I talked to myself using positive words. I decided how I wanted to treat others. I decided how I would treat myself. I spoke to myself with kindness and affection. I believed in myself and my abilities. I accepted my limitations but did not accept that I could not overcome them.

I had to make some really difficult decisions; decisions that affected not just me but my children as well. I learned that making difficult decisions doesn’t kill a person. Making those decisions can actually keep you alive. I also learned that with those decisions, there may come some guilt and doubt. Both guilt and doubt can be overcome. I learned to sit with the doubts and the guilt until the feelings went away. I would have a good angel, bad angel conversation. The good angel would speak kindly. The bad angel would laugh at the good angel and “tell me how it really is”. These two would go back and forth until I had relived the entire relationship and I decided that I would not and could not go back to THAT! Then I would pick myself up, dust myself off and forge ahead.

I learned it is okay to assert oneself. This was one of the scariest things I ever did. Asserting oneself when you have learned to disappear is super hard. I do not remember the first time I asserted myself. I do remember the feelings that went with it. I was nauseous. I had sweaty palms and armpits. My legs shook uncontrollably. I thought I would poop myself. I thought I would collapse. I wanted to run away. Nothing bad happened when I asserted myself. The outcome was pretty good. I got what I needed. No one hated me for asserting myself.

One of my counsellors suggested acting confidently even when I did not feel like it. This was hard, really hard. I am not one to fake it until you make it. I found that reciting positive affirmations was helpful. Over the past 4 years I have accumulated over 160 affirmations I can turn to. I recite what I need for a few days or weeks. During those days and weeks my mind believes what I am telling it. My confidence increases exponentially.

I built my self-esteem by taking part in activities that I enjoyed. I learned that I did not have to do only what others wanted to do.  I opened myself up to new experiences that I wanted to pursue. I have always liked music. My interests were not too varied. I started to listen to other genres of music other than rock and country. I now enjoy a wide variety of music including symphonies and opera. I learned to golf and love the game but not for competitive reasons. I started gardening and decided that I like flowers a whole lot better than vegetables. I figure there is a farmers’ market close by. I will buy my vegetables. I like to ride a bike. I am a destination cyclist. Riding a bike for the sake of riding a bike just isn’t for me. I like being on the water in a boat. I do not like fishing.  I like sitting by a river and reading. I love downhill skiing. I’m not really good at it but I enjoy the thrill of coasting down a mountain. I like to stop on occasion and take in my surroundings. Discovering what I like and don’t like has helped to build my self-esteem.

One of my coaches keeps telling me to focus only on the positives. This develops my positive mental attitude. I, like you, can focus on the negative aspects of life. There are so many of them. It takes effort to focus on the positives. Focusing on the positives and building a positive mental attitude is so worth it. It has become a way of life. I am constantly looking for the positive in any and every situation. This includes the way I talk to myself. When my self-talk starts to become negative, I turn it around by focusing on the positives. It is not always easy to find the positive in any situation. Trust me, positives are there. I have found it helpful to stop and breathe. If I have to, I remove myself from the situation so I can get clarity. The more I do this, the faster I can find a positive. Then, I focus on the positive.

Here is a simple exercise you can do to build a positive mental attitude.

  1. Notice each enjoyable thing that happens to you during your day, even if it seems insignificant.
  2. Keep these moments in your mind or write them down in a notebook you carry with you. I do this at the end of each day. I call it my Joy Moments journal. Before going to bed I review my day. I pick up on the moments that brought me joy, such as the words or actions of a child, a conversation with a friend, a goal I achieved or something I heard or read that brought a smile to my face. This journal does not have any space for my struggles or upsets. This is for joy moments only.
  3. Over the coming weeks you will notice that these events are increasing in number and that some of them are not only fleeting moments of joy but that they are having an impact on your future.
  4. Review your entries from time to time. You will see that you do have a very good life.

Creating a positive mental attitude is a giant step in building self-esteem.

We have heard that meditating cleans your head-space. It’s true. I have found meditating to be a beautiful practice. We should all do something beautiful for ourselves. Through meditating I am able to see things more clearly. I listen to my heart instead of my head. My head is full of what other people say. My heart knows me. My heart is a better leader than my head will ever be. When I take the time to listen to my heart, I know who I am. I know what I want. I know what I value. I am a kinder person. I am a more loving person. I can handle life better.

Building my self-esteem has been like meeting an old friend, maybe even – a new friend. I like the girl I see in the mirror. She’s not perfect because perfection is an illusion. She still has a whole world of discoveries to make. She is a perfect creation of God. I pray that each of you will find a way to develop your self-esteem. You are worth it. You are a perfect creation of God. It is time to discover her.