In our last blog post Judy talked about forgiving others, outward forgiveness. I believe that I must forgive myself. I believe you deserve to forgive yourself. However, we often beat ourselves up for things that haven’t gone as planned or for decisions we regret worse than we do with anyone that has offended us. We hang on to the guilt and shame and never move past the mistake. We begin to hate ourselves and in turn keep others at bay.
When wounded women experience traumatic situations, the healing journey can become even harder when we don’t forgive ourselves. We all make mistakes and doing so doesn’t make us bad people; it makes us human. I recall feeling responsible for and being unforgiving for things that were not my fault. I thought that taking responsibility would smooth the rough waters and bring calm to my life. With the help of a friend, I was able to identify what was my responsibility and what was not. Her input made the task of self-forgiveness healthy.
Forgiving ourselves is important because it gives us the freedom to accept our flaws, blunders, and shortcomings. Forgiveness assists us as we let go of negative feelings and recognize our own worth and value. Forgiveness is also a powerful tool for self-growth and personal development. It can help us learn from our mistakes and evolve into better versions of ourselves.
Remember, self-forgiveness begins with the girl looking in the mirror! No one can do this for you. This is a courageous mission we do for ourselves. Take it one step at a time and give the girl in the mirror permission to accept her failures and forgive herself for them. Self-forgiveness is an act of love and understanding.
When we don’t forgive ourselves, it can be really hard to move forward. We become stuck in a cycle of self-hatred and guilt that just keeps us feeling bad about ourselves. It’s easy to slip into this pattern and forget how to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. But forgiveness is so important if we want to be able to heal and move forward. When we forgive ourselves, it doesn’t mean that our mistakes were okay. Forgiveness is a way of letting go of the pain and hurt that comes with the mistake, so that we can learn from it and be better in the future. It’s not an easy process, but it’s worth taking the time to reflect on your mistake and find forgiveness within yourself. It doesn’t make the mistake okay, but it will help you come to terms with it and move on. Be gentle with yourself, talk to a friend if you need support, and take the time to forgive so that you can heal.
At the end of the day, self-forgiveness is a powerful tool to help you move forward and create a better future for yourself. You deserve forgiveness, so don’t be afraid to give it to yourself!
Forgiving yourself can be one of most difficult challenges to undertake. It takes time, hard work and a lot of compassion for yourself first and foremost. To forgive yourself means to accept your flaws and imperfections, to let go of the guilt, shame, and regret that you may feel regarding past experiences. It’s about learning from mistakes, making necessary changes, and understanding that you are worthy of forgiveness.
The 5 R’s of self-forgiveness are a great way to help you do just that. The 5 R’s are:
Recognize,
Reflect,
Re-evaluate,
Release,
Redirect.
These five steps can help you understand your mistake, forgive yourself for it, create healthier habits and attitudes, and strengthen your ability to forgive. By following these four steps, you can move past your mistake and create a brighter future.
Recognize
The first step in forgiveness is recognizing that you need forgiveness. Acknowledge the hurt and regret of your actions and really allow yourself to feel what you have done. It can be difficult, but it is important to take the time to recognize how your actions have hurt you.
Reflect
Take a step back and really think about what happened. Did you have enough information to make an informed decision? What did you learn from the situation? Could you have done something differently?
Re-evaluate
How do you feel now that the event has passed? Is it possible to look at things in a different way, in hindsight? Are there any valuable life lessons you can take away?
Release
Next, forgive yourself for making a mistake. Understand that mistakes are a normal part of life, and that forgiveness is a key step in healing. Instead of focusing on the mistake itself, focus on what you can do differently going forward. Everyone makes mistakes, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Try to see the bigger picture and forgive yourself for your missteps. Once we’ve reflected and re-evaluated, it’s essential to let go of the guilt and shame in order to move forward. Don’t dwell on the hurt or anger; just accept what has happened and forgive yourself for not being perfect.
Redirect
Focus on future possibilities. Now that you’ve released the negativity what can you do differently in the future? How can this experience change your outlook and help shape who you are moving forward? It’s important to take steps to make sure the same mistake isn’t repeated. This can be as simple as changing your daily habits or making a conscious effort to think more critically before acting. Taking these steps will help ensure that forgiveness is not only expressed but also carried out in your behavior.
It’s important to remember that self-forgiveness is a journey and a process, not something you can do overnight—so be gentle with yourself throughout it. Forgiveness is a tough process, and forgiveness of yourself can be even harder. You may feel like you don’t deserve forgiveness for what you’ve done, but it’s important to remember that forgiveness isn’t about deserving–it’s about understanding the hurt caused, reflecting on it, and allowing yourself to move ahead.
By practicing self-forgiveness, we can become more compassionate towards ourselves and the world around us. We can foster deeper connections with those we love and learn to be kinder to ourselves. So let self-forgiveness set you free – take it one step at a time and you’ll be surprised by how much lighter and happier you will feel!
And remember self-forgiveness is key to a brighter future!
It is possible to forgive yourself and move forward. Be gentle with yourself. Talk to a friend if you need support. Take the time to forgive so that you can heal. With the 5 R’s of forgiveness in your pocket, you can create a lasting change in yourself.
You’re worthy of a second chance – don’t be afraid to take it!
When you are ready to journey into self-forgiveness and would like to be in a circle of friends to guide you and support you, consider attending our retreat. The Retreat is September 15 – 18, 2023 at Greystone Retreat Rental in Kemble Ontario Canada. Click here for all the information.