Handling Life – Page 2 – Wounded Women Rising

Featured

Easy Ain’t Easy

Judy Johnston 01/12/2024 01/15/2024

I discovered a truth recently. Life is not easy. In fact, often the easy path, the less disciplined way brings us more pain in the long run. What appears easy can hurt more than the actions which are difficult at first. I have felt this firsthand as I let lapse the fitness program to which I had committed to over a decade. My flexibility, strength and balance started to be noticeably impaired. My sleep pattern was getting wonky. My biceps that I had been know for at the gym, started to wither, and wag. I started to believe that perhaps this was what being in the next decade of life brought. I was certainly starting to buy into that thought. SO, that needed changing fast. What was I doing differently now from what I had done when I felt fit, and fabulous? What habit had I adapted, and what habit had I abandoned?

True disclosure, since 2020 when the shutdown down occurred, and re-occurred and yes occurred once more just for security reasons, I shut down. I shut down my social life. I shut down my physical activity at the gym. I did run occasionally outside. I shut down our travel life which was a vital part of my husband’s and my joy of life. I lost dear friends as they passed, from the planet. Some without any ceremony or celebration to mark their lives. My business was forced to shut down by government regulations, with the added fear of penalty if we were to continue serving our clients in person. Thank God, that Purebioenergy Healing Therapy can be done by distance, allowing me to be of service to people, as it was so desperately needed. Many people benefitted from that service, me included.

A new habit of sitting on the couch and watching Trevor Noah and Samantha Bee was created. A habit which has served its purpose and must now be stopped. Heck, even Trevor Noah has moved on to new things. You would think that it would be easy. Just get moving. I know I need to do this. I am willing to be willing to change. Just overcome the inertia. Choose it and do it. I had to choose the harder path, the disciplined path.

Here are three examples of how choosing the tougher path, which often is the path less travelled is better for us. It takes mental discipline. That old blues song “Easy ain’t easy” is true.

Physical activity is essential to our strength, mood, and our flexibility in thought and action.

Upon starting or restarting an exercise program, the movements appear difficult. The first set always hurts the most, the second set the muscles are warming up. By the third set, the mind has stopped resisting the change and accepts that it can do the motion. The muscles fire and the blood courses though the veins, speeding up our breathing, our sweating, and possibly our swearing. Yet in that moment, I feel good. I did it! I now know I can. Thus, I not only increase the muscle fiber, as important if not more so, is that I have created the brain belief that I can do this. I wanted to quit at 6 reps but with encouragement from my trainer I did the full 10. When we have someone to encourage us as we struggle with the difficult bits, we can overcome our desire to quit.

The next part is the repeat. Marcus Aurelius tells us, the mind is honed like steel through repetition and practice. One push up a month will not create a strong physic. But 10 a week, then 100 a week, then 10 push ups a day for a year will change our physical and our mental outlook. A strong body does create a strong mind. Why do people age into frailty? Is it because they stop doing the activity to the degree of discipline they had as a young person? Is it because they are told they are old? If we didn’t know what age we were, how would we act? In Bali where they have the highest number of elderly fit people in the world, people work, live and are active members of society until they die. There is a dance teacher who is 83 years old. She says the smiles of the younger students fill her with joy, and she likes dancing for and with them. Asked if she will retire, she replies Why? She has danced almost every day of her life since she was 4. This is a common practice in Bali. Do the difficult thing until it becomes easy to do, then keep doing it. Celebrate and do it again.

Repetition. Any new skills, be it computer skills, learning a new language, a music or art hobby requires repetition and practice. If you want to change how you think, and how you act, there must be an element of repetition.

When you are making a change to improve your life, you must act. My mentor often says to me, stop thinking, just do. We can get stuck in the thinking. We can become like stagnant pond water. Thinking the same thoughts over and over, reaffirms those thoughts even when the thoughts are detrimental to our wellbeing.

Action creates the opportunity to bring in oxygen. Oxygen brings life to the pond, and life to us. Sitting on the couch for extended periods of time harms us, physically, mentally, and socially. I would add spiritually as well because we are designed to be with other humans. I can attest to the damage it created, as even my confidence had eroded.

The first action can and probably will be difficult. Do it despite the difficulty. Choose to be courageous. A stagnant mind wants to remain stagnant. The belief is that staying the same is easier. Easier, but at what cost? The long-term pain offsets the short-term gain. This is truth in so many aspects of our life.

A delayed tax filing creates financial pain in terms of fees, penalties, and interest charges.

A delayed commitment to eating healthy, pure natural food harms the body. The intestines, the metabolic rate, our mental outlook, emotional wellbeing are all connected. “Let your food be your medicine and your medicine be your food.” This Hippocrates statement can be applied to many levels of well being.

When we eat fast, as opposed to eating fresh, we are losing the opportunity to heal, nourish, and replenish our cells, resulting in the long-term increase of the waistline and the glymphatic waste line, and an increase in blood pressure. The wallet can suffer too. Planning and executing a meal program is a discipline that rewards us in so many ways. Your creativity, sense of accomplishment, energy level and enthusiasm are some of the rewards from that one decision.

It takes a brave man to admit he was wrong. The longer it takes to admit our responsibility in relational disputes, to apologize, and to find a peaceful co-existence, the deeper the damage to both self, and the other. It is the tougher path to humble ourselves and ask for forgiveness. Yet, in doing so, we free ourselves, and the other person, and all the other collateral relationships. Holding on to hurt, and not forgiving also damages us on a cellular level.

Building friendships is a commitment of time, attention and communication. An active social life with meaningful social connections is promoted as one of the secrets to aging well. Having a group of people who get you, and with whom you can be your authentic self builds your confidence. Your attention to your friends’ needs, conversations, and shared experiences builds their self-worth. Love your neighbour as yourself and you both win. This too is a disciplined behavior. It takes effort. It is easier to turn on the TV and zone out, especially in the winter. Invite your friends over, have a healthy meal and hearty laugh.

An unexamined life is not worth living, but a good life, is to be chiefly valued. This quote by Socrates behooves us to pause, reflect and correct the habits, thoughts, and actions that would lead to pain for others and ourselves.

As I soak in some Epsom salts to relieve the DOMS, Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness, I am grateful to Heidi for the workouts which will re-establish my muscle mass.

I am grateful to Rose for pushing me to not procrastinate on publishing this article. I am grateful for my husband who is making me a healthy meal, and doing the dishes so that we wake up to a clean kitchen each morning.

I will write my journal. I will remember the poem: “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

Ruth Bader Ginsburg says, “Real change, enduring change, happens one step at a time.”

Take that step, especially if it is hard, and repeat it. One foot in front of the other. Your path awaits.

One of my favorite poems is by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

The took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though, as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way.
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh,
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in wood, and I –
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Handling Life

Featured

The Perfect Gift

Judy Johnston 12/15/2023 12/15/2023

This is traditionally the season of giving. In the world in which we live, there can be an external pressure to perceive that giving must have a financial cost to it. The idea of the bigger the better is really promoted at this time of year.

I remember when I was in the financial planning industry, sitting with clients who had repeatedly accumulated debt every holiday season. In an attempt to provide the perfect holiday, and the perfect gifts they exceeded their means. The cost of the debt, which compounded with interest, increased exponentially causing a huge amount of stress on the families. The interest on credit cards, or even lines of credit add up quickly to a great deal of money. An expenditure which brings us no value. Parents worked extra hours, took on secondary incomes, which increased their stress levels, resulting in time away from their families, and feeling exhausted and grouchy when they were with their family. No time left for friends or enjoying the moment. Stress takes a physical toll on our bodies, minds, emotions, and energy.

Ironically, kids don’t really remember that trending toy – that eventually and inevitably gets relegated to the back of the closet. I recently had a conversation with our 25-year-old son, and what he remembered was the year we had a sleigh ride with real horses and our friend Gail’s, German shepherd dog named Bear who kept our feet warm by sitting on us. That was a great day.

The best gift you can give is the gift of you. Your time, your talent, your attention, your love, your presence. To be fully present, put your phone down and lift your face up. We connect with each other though sight, sound, and touch. And smell, the limbic part of the brain is directly connected to the olfactory glands of the nose. The limbic system is a group of structures in the brain that governs emotions, motivation, olfaction, and behavior. It is also involved in the formation of long-term memory.

This is why certain scents can trigger memories. What scent do you affiliate with the holidays?

Here are some ideas on how you can create a holiday memory that will give significant receiver appreciation, without sending your bank account into receivership.

Think Outside the Box

We often overlook the gifts we have to offer. What skill do you possess that can benefit another person?

Giving a few lessons in what you love to do can impact another person in such a significant way. Can you play the guitar? The piano or drums? What about showing your teenager how to prepare a meal from scratch? One on one time with them and no other siblings. Play music, theirs, and yours while you are cooking up some jambalaya in the kitchen.

Baking, music making, craft time, woodworking, soap making, crocheting, sewing, knitting, stained glass, coin collecting, painting both for art and a room. The list is endless. These are all activities that you can do together, where the beneficiary of the activity reaps dividends. They get time with you, building relationships, learn a new skill which they can continue to use or even teach to someone else.

Take a course together. Find a workshop that interests you both.

Exercise with your loved one. The month my daughter and I did a remote yoga class together was fantastic.

Do a charitable activity together. Gift wrapping at the mall, food delivery, so many charities need help.

As the interest in whole foods increases, showing a loved one the art of gardening brings edible rewards from May to November. The thrill of tasting that first crunchy sweet carrot planted from seed, watered, tilled, then harvested, and washed under the hose is amazing.

Many grandparents are choosing to take the grandchildren on an outing or an experience instead of a under the tree type gift. Rose taught her grandchildren to ski. One at a time.

She also took the 4 of them to an indoor water park. Giving a child-free weekend to her kids, while having a fabulous fun whale of a time with the little ones.

This idea of gifting time and talent can flow up hill as well. Most kids today are experts on their computers and their phones. Those skills are now needed by the grandparents as almost everything is done on-line now. An hour or two of computer lessons will add more value to grannie’s life than another cardigan.

Time outside is essential too. Walk in nature, go see the Lights, play in the snow, or on the beach depending on where you live. Play outdoor games with each other. My neighbour organized a circuit training course for her two boys so they can exercise together, while apart. Physical activity burns off tension and anxiety. It creates laughter so moods improve, and everyone gets along better when they are in the groove.

Learn to give a great massage. Hand massages are so appreciated by people who spend hours on the keyboard. Foot/ reflexology massages relax the whole body, improve sleep, reduce stress and most people love them. Couple it with a custom aromatherapy blend and the experience is sheer bliss. FYI, I can teach you this.

If you know a tradesman and your mom needs a new kitchen cabinet, can you trade skills such as an hour or two organizing for some cabinet making? Think creatively.

Granted some of these ideas may be a bit late for this season. But an idea shared is never lost. It increases in the sharing.

Let’s look at Value. Time with a loved one is the most valuable thing. Period. Often, we don’t recognize this until our loved one is gone. I wish I could bake one more pie with my Mom or learn to be a better photographer or listen to my Dad play the harmonica. Time goes by quickly. We do not know how much time we get. Use your time wisely.

The pride of accomplishment, the life skill learned, the time together, the laughter, the love and that joy, unending joy is in the gift. Give the gift of you. It is the perfect gift.

Handling Life

Featured

Commitment Conundrum

Judy Johnston 12/09/2023 02/05/2024

What does commitment mean to you? Is it a contract or a promise of intention?

Is it a rigid obligation of mind over matter? Can we think ourselves into being committed to an action?

As I write this, I am struggling with commitment. There are things I know I need to do to achieve the goals and objectives that I have set for myself. I know structure and time management are important elements for achieving worldly objectives. Lately though, I am just so damn tired. The simplest things loom like giant unattainable, unscalable rock cliffs. I don’t have the energy to pull myself out of the pit. Fuuuddgge, as Ralphy from A Christmas Story would say. The lack of sunlight does take a toll on me, and thousands of others. Women are 9X more at risk than men for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Fifteen percent of Canadians report a least a mild case of SAD within their lifetime. Two to 3 percent report a serious case within their lifetime, according to Alive Magazine Dec 2023.

When I was young, I was labelled as hyper-active. Man, what I wouldn’t do to get some of that active back. People who have experienced acute, and chronic stress often can have physical, emotional and mental ailments which may present as: Muscle pain, insomnia, fatigue, irritability, indecisiveness, apathy, loss of joy in activities that they used to enjoy. Sighing, not feeling energetic enough to exercise, or socialize. Just Meh. When cortisol levels become too high in the body inflammation, increased pain, blood pressure increases and other stress related health conditions can result.

So what does this have to do with commitment?

When one is in a state of overwhelm, it is hard to commit to anything. That feeling of overwhelm is part of a stress response. Today I want to encourage you to make a commitment to yourself.

I will do it as well. Often we know what to do, it is the doing it that is the hard part. First, let’s stop beating ourselves up .

Today is a new day. Thank God that we get a new day, a new start, a new season. While we are still breathing, let’s find a reason to be joyful for a season.

Before one can commit to something, we must have a belief that the result will be worth the effort. Faith comes first. The thought precedes the action. “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.” ¹ The choice is ours.

Dr. J. Patterson tells a story of creating structure to help to overcome chaos of mind by organizing our environment. “Clean your room” was a catch phrase of his. He does inform us however, that for some people in a high state of overwhelm, they can’t clean their room. It is too much to ask of them. It would feel like asking a toddler to run a marathon. Start smaller. Open a drawer that you would like to organize, and think about how you would organize it. You don’t even need to organize it that day. Just create the mental space for the feeling of calm that being organized creates.

Be Kind to yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. Commit to one thing.

Just do one simple thing. It can be something to aid your physical wellbeing. Make a protein shake, or a green smoothie.

Walk outside in nature. Live in a city? Where is your nearest park? Ask a friend to come with you. Movement works on many levels. It causes us to breathe deeper thus increasing the oxygen level in our blood, and sends serotonin to our brain. When we use our muscles, our mood improves, our blood glucose levels balance, and our cardiovascular gets a nice boost of nitric oxide which not only has analgesic effect but also reduces blood pressure. Movement is essential to balance hormones. Our lymphatic system which brings in nutrients and takes away waste and toxins needs movement to work. It has no pump. You got to move it, move it. Dance is movement. Skipping, running up and down the stairs, playing with the dog or kids. Join a sports team, as a novice or a pro. Ski, swim, skate . Start with simple daily activity. Balance on one leg, while you balance your budget. Do squats while your brush your teeth. Do calve raises as you wash the dishes. Hot/Cold therapy is also great for the lymph system. Finish your shower with a cold rinse, starting from your toes, go up the whole body to your head. Your skin will glow, and your age won’t show.

Vitamin D is crucial to our well-being. Most people in the northern hemisphere are deficient in Vit D. It is required for bone health, immune system support, mood regulation, muscle function, heart health , weight management, cell growth and differentiation, inflammation regulation and hormone regulation. Yup, it is a biggie. The sunshine vitamin lights up our life. Add your C’s, B’s and A’s, and some zinc to help you think. Eat with colour, savour the flavour of health.

Isolation contributes to depression, and anxiety and feeling listless. Why are we punishing ourselves? We are designed to be in community. We are not meant to be alone. A burden shared is a burden halved. I really struggle with this. I forget to ask for help. To call my friends, and say hey, I was just thinking about you. How are you? When we are alone for long periods of time, we also may ruminate on that which we don’t like or don’t want. When we are with other people, don’t we ultimately end up laughing?

Comparison is another habit which is detrimental to our mental health. Scrolling through social media has an addictive quality to it. It also takes time away from activities which may be more beneficial to us. You are blessed with gifts, talents, and a divine personality that is your own. Let’s train our brain to be fully present and mindful with the people around us. We can use mindfulness with our tasks and chores. I have found music helps me lift my mood when I just got to get ‘er done. Especially when I don’t really want to do, what needs doing.

Reward yourself along the way. What matters to you? What do you love? Who do you love? Reward yourself with time with that person. Or time with your favorite book. Or a bath with essential oils and Epsom salts. Funny how, a bath is now considered a reward. Or time to do nothing. Day dream. Just be.

Give yourself the gift of Purebioenergy Healing Therapy. Allow yourself to commit to your healing and your vibrant well-being. The benefits of Purebioenergy Healing Therapy are exponential. When our stresses decrease, our relationship with ourselves and with others improves.

Let’s choose to commit to a better me. In so doing, we will create a Better We.

Handling Life

Featured

PERIL, PEARL, PURITY

Judy Johnston 11/01/2023 02/05/2024

Throughout our lives, we encounter perils. There are dangers, risks, and potential hazards that exist around us constantly. Most of the people in this group have experienced firsthand dangers, a life-threatening danger, a loss, not just the risk of loss but the actual loss of homes, jobs, friends, reputation, children, and financial stability. There are also vehicle accidents which damage bodies, kill loved ones, and create permanent change to lives. Having to leave your home because of domestic violence, or war, or natural disaster creates a serious and immediate danger. Another peril is death of a loved one or divorce which can lead to years of depression, anxiety, and loss of self worth. These perils have additional impacts on your well-being. Hans Selye defines these types of stresses as physiological stress, psychological stress, and psycho-social stress. To be on earth is to be exposed to dangers, problems, threats, menaces, and troubles.

When a peril occurs, the immediate threat must be addressed. Get to safety, secure yourself and your loved ones. Emergency personnel may assist with this. An entire industry of insurance has been created over the centuries to try to compensate for the financial loss which may occur as the result of a peril. But who is assisting with the psychological, psycho-social, and physiological affects of the peril? There are many areas that need healing. What happens after the acute aspect of the peril, is what goes on to shape one’s perception, belief pattern and life as a result of the incident.

Let’s start with changing our thoughts about the incident, peril, or trauma. This is not to diminish the tragedy. It is simply a way to look at it with a new lens so the pain can diminish and the wound can heal. Let’s look at what nature can show us.

Creating Pearls

In nature, oysters, clams and mussels can all produce pearls. Certain species of oysters called Pinctada, create the most pearls. They are located deep in the ocean. Let’s take a lesson from the oyster. The formation of a pearl begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle and shell. This irritation causes the oyster to attempt to protect itself, producing nacre to cover the foreign substance. Over time, these layers form a pearl. It can take from 6 months to 4 years to create a pearl. The oyster has transformed the irritation, the hurt, into something beautiful.

In our lives, the peril, loss, danger can loom large, even after the occurrence. As we dwell on the loss, and hurt, the presence of it becomes larger. Our intention of attention to the hurt, loss, and pain keeps it in the fore front of our mind. We can bring it into conversation at every opportunity. He did this, she did that. This happened. Yes, it did. It was awful. We survived it. It can take up more space and has the potential to crowd out other elements of our being. Whatever you focus on increases. With intent, we too can create transformation of a big hurt, into a thing of beauty. The pain, loss, shame, and hurt need not define us, just as the oyster uses nacre to cover the irritation, causing the rough, jagged edges of the foreign object to be smoothed over.

We do have a choice. We can choose to allow the hurt to dissipate. We can smooth off those rough edges of a painful memory. This will take intention. This takes the willingness to be willing to change. The resolution is not necessarily in restitution. See Rose’s article on Letting Go https://woundedwomenrising.ca/2023/09/let-it-go/. Meditation is one way to create the space for allowing for something different; as well as time with God, in prayer, in nature, in acts of kindness. Treat yourself with loving kindness. Treat others the same. What do you require to feel secure?

Imagine what you want your life to look like. Fill in the details. Colour this picture of your life in the colours you choose. You can draw an actual picture and put it up where you will see it. Choose a daily practice of some spiritual element. Read, pray, set intentions, focus on love.

Love becomes our nacre. Love creates peace, tranquility, stillness and purity. Love is wholly transformational. Holy and wholly.

Peace is something we carry within us. Peace is not shaken by external influences. Peace is a practice.

The irritation (peril) will be transformed into a thing of beauty. The purity of the pearl is what gives it value. The irritation is long forgotten and all that remains is the pearl’s translucent beauty shining into the world.

A peril can be your opportunity to allow the love that exists within you, to transform your hurt into healing, your peril into pearls.

Blog Posts Handling Life

Featured

Wisdom

Rose 05/09/2023 11/06/2023

Wisdom is a word we hear a lot. We all seek it. We believe life will be better if we have it. But can you define it? It struck me last week that Judy and I talk a lot about wisdom. Our website tag line is “The Wounded Woman’s Way to Wisdom.” So, what do we mean? What drives us to lead you into wisdom?

Let me start by defining wisdom.

Wisdom, sapience, or sagacity is the ability to contemplate and act productively using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense, and insight.

Wikipedia

When I first read this definition, I paused. I realized that no one escapes gaining wisdom. As we live our lives, we all gain knowledge, experience, and insight. Most of us gain understanding or common sense, but not everyone. We cannot escape obtaining wisdom. We can, however, lack the ability to contemplate and act productively. When you live your life with “your head stuck in the sand” or being oblivious, you may miss the opportunities to act on what you have gained through experience. When we do not take responsibility for our actions we are not performing in our wisdom.

Why is wisdom such a big deal? Wisdom is key to making choices that bring joy. We all seek joy. Joy appears elusive to most. Could it be we do not experience joy because we are lacking in the pursuit or exercise of wisdom?

During my research for this article and years of seeking wisdom I was and am aware that wisdom is normally referred to in the feminine. Wisdom is called “she” and “her” in scripture. The book of Proverbs is full of thoughts on wisdom and refers to wisdom in the feminine. For example, “Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15

Wisdom is said to originate with God and God gives wisdom.

The Koran says that only Allah has wisdom and gives intelligence at his will.

Buddha says wisdom can be reached by knowing the impermanent nature of all objects we hanker after and annihilate cravings for them. Wisdom is knowledge.

Hinduism says that wisdom is higher than knowledge obtained by reasoning and inference. The path to wisdom is meditation, self inquiry, and contemplation.

Humanism states that wisdom comes from many diverse sources but is primarily something that develops over time through sharing and challenging of ideas.

Our Indigenous People say that wisdom is about the interconnectedness of all things. Wisdom deepens understanding. Wisdom is gained experience. Knowledge is to know the difference between wisdom and knowledge and accept responsibility and accountability. Wisdom is the future.

I found this online at mooshwalks.com. They say wisdom is a virtue that is not innate but can only be acquired through experience. Anyone who is interested in trying new things and reflecting has the ability to gain wisdom. This website says to

try new things,
- talk to people you do not know and listen,
- do things the hard way,
- make mistakes,
- share your wisdom with others.

For our community wisdom is not something to be attained. It is something to be developed as we heal from our traumas, our mistakes, and the mistakes we see others make. Wisdom is developed when we celebrate our successes, For us wisdom is the pursuit of knowledge to share with you so you can heal and become whole. Judy and I actively search for the wisdom others have received and shared to help you. Judy and I have walked the path of trauma throughout our lives. We have managed situations we wish we could take back and get a do-over. We have managed situations the best we could with the information we had at the time. We have been brave. We have been crushed. We have been restored to a place where helping other women navigate the waters of healing is the deepest desire of our souls.

We believe that when one woman heals, a community is healed. The life of one woman touches so many people. Heal her. Heal her community. Teach her and you teach her community. Love her and she loves her community. This is what drives us in the pursuit of wisdom.

Blog Posts Handling Life

Featured

Running towards vs running away from something

Judy Johnston 04/28/2023 11/06/2023

I have always been a runner. I like the feeling of lightness, exuberance and joy, running in the woods brings me. I like hearing the crunch of the leaves, or the squeaky cushion of the new grass. I like smelling the earth’s many changing fragrances, from spring’s damp musty revival to summer’s fresh bright green scent to the autumn’s yellow gold crisp aroma of harvest’s transition.

I often run with a song in my head. I don’t wear headphones. The songs are just the playlist and the rhythms that accompany me on this journey of life.

So often the scurry of a squirrel or chipmunk will catch my attention. A garter snake may slither across the path, as I jump up to avoid treading on its tail. Being in the forest, or meadow, or riverbank brings all of the 5 senses to the forefront. Yes, even taste as water tastes better when the air around one is clean.

There is another reason why I enjoy running. Running brings my mind into alignment. The chatter that accompanies me daily can be filtered out. It is necessary to focus on the inhale and exhale as the heart pumps, and the lungs expand to fill the need for more oxygen. The rhythm of a footfall, one step leading to the next, creates synergy. The rigid limitations of my brain start to become flexible. The challenge of a complex tax form, is as attainable as the steep incline up a pine needled strewn hill. Place one foot in front of the other, even if you have to slow to a walk or a crawl. When you get really tired, stop and walk.

Something worth pondering on this journey is: are we running towards something? Or are we running away from something. It can be a combination of the two. The difference is in how one chooses to feel about what you are running towards or away from.

At one time, I knew I was running away from the noise, chaos, and emotional upheaval of where and how I was living. I couldn’t wait to get my shoes on and get out that door. When I got balanced, got the emotions out, I could come back and manage the activities that had to be done. Eventually, a decision had to be made to change the template, because running away from it would not solve the problem. It was a coping tactic. It gave me the outlet needed until I had the courage, wisdom and energy to make a big decision to change. I am grateful for the ladies that I had the opportunity to run with along those trails, and roads. Each of them has a story worth sharing.

When we set a goal, we give ourselves something to run toward. If you want to complete a 10K race or an obstacle race, you start by training to reach small objectives. The first 5K accomplished, the first 25 pushups, the first time you sign up and show up for your own objective. I encourage you to celebrate those successes along the training trail. Don’t wait til the final tape is crossed. Celebrate and build on your successes. They are successes. Each one carrying you towards the next success. Have a look at how you define your success. Just showing up and giving your best is a success. It is personal.

Forgive yourself if you don’t accomplish what you set out to do. Rest, renew and start again. Remember you are not your accomplishments. You are not your degree, your accreditations, your last promotion. You are You. That beautiful creative spirit, shining out, that thought of God.

Have a look at what you are running towards. Is it your heart’s desire? Is it what society tells us we are to seek? Can you refine your goal and put it in alignment with what your heart truly wants? Can you commit to that which brings you joy? What would change if you were to do that?

Set your objective, adjust your visor and lace up your shoes. Take those first steps on a new path. Soon you will be finding your stride, focusing on the rhythm and feeling the elation as you round the bend and head up that hill. The view is worth it. The joy is worth it. You are worth it.

Blog Posts Handling Life

Featured

Judgements

Rose 04/05/2023 11/06/2023

If you’re like me, you’ve experienced some form of trauma in your life. And if you’re anything like me, you might also be prone to being judged by others because of it. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be who you are, and that no one deserves to be judged for their trauma. Keep reading to find out why.

We all make judgements.

It is inevitable that we make judgements about other people – whether we realize it or not. These judgements can lead to pain and difficulty with our relationships. But while it may seem hard, the best thing we can do is try to be aware of your own judgements and be mindful of how those judgements may affect those around us. The important thing to remember is that everyone is just doing their best, even if it doesn’t look the same as yours.

Why do we judge others?

Judging others is something we’ve all done, but why do we do it? Is it because deep down, we’re scared of them and/or their differences? Or maybe it’s because their behavior doesn’t fit our idea of what’s “normal”. Since we are unable to understand it, we make assumptions about them. Whatever the reason may be, it’s clear that judging people isn’t a healthy habit to have. Instead of looking for the negatives in someone else’s life, try to see the good that others bring. This practice can make us more tolerant and open-minded people and give us a chance to become better versions of ourselves.

Can we break down the barriers that our judgements create between us and others?

Breaking down the barriers created by judgement can seem like a difficult challenge. In reality, it is one of the simple things to do. All it takes is a little vulnerability and an open mind – something that a lot of people are scared of. Because we have been judged should we be actively judging others? Is there a possibility that because we know the hurt of being judged we can stop the cycle of “you hurt me, now I get to hurt you”? If the person who hurt you is not in the line of fire, could we quit taking it out on the next person who comes into your field of vision?

If we worked to view the world around us through a different lens, we would be choosing to challenge ourselves and our perspective. Instead of seeing the worst in people, what if we actively chose to seek out the best? While it may not always be the easiest path to take, the personal growth we can gain from taking this approach is invaluable. By recognizing and appreciating the good within someone, we open ourselves up to a more meaningful connection with that person. It’s never too late to start noticing all of the wonderful things that are waiting for us as soon as we make a conscious effort to look for them!

A few months ago, I ran into someone at the mall that I had gone to school with a way back when. I hadn’t ever really talked to them much before and honestly, the first time we’d ever interacted wasn’t memorable in a good way. So, when I saw them, I expected it to be awkward and maybe even hostile. But instead, they treated me like an old friend and joked around with me while we caught up on our lives. In that moment, I couldn’t help but realize how wrong my first judgement of them had been; my mind was completely changed at the fact they were just so warm and kind. It left me thinking twice about judging people on appearances or quick conversations afterward; you never fully know what someone is like until you’ve gotten to know them better!

We all have certain prejudices and biases – it’s unavoidable, but that doesn’t mean we should shy away from challenging them. We have the ability to think critically. We have the ability to ask ourselves why we’re feeling a certain way. We have the ability to work through our judgemental assumptions.

If we want to make progress in creating more unity between ourselves and the people around us, stop being so quick to judge and start having conversations with people who think differently than we do. During open conversations we may even learn why they judged us in the first place. When we come together and openly discuss our opinions while understanding that we may disagree at times, it helps us become more tolerant of each other’s beliefs which creates a safe environment where relationships can grow.

Join me in making a conscious effort to see the best in people; when we look past surface-level differences, we may find qualities we deeply connect with. We won’t always be proven right in our judgements of those around us, but isn’t it better to give someone a chance than jump to conclusions?

Is there one thing you can do today or be aware of today to ease your burden of judgmental thinking? Be kind to yourself and others; recognize where our minds take us when it comes to assessing someone else’s character.

We’re all human beings with feelings, flaws, strengths, and worries. Champion yourself in being open minded towards others. Consciously let go of judgement, so that meaningful connections can be established with those that share the same world. Let us take actions together towards breaking down these limits. You never know what kind of meaningful connection you just might find!

Blog Posts Handling Life

Featured

New Year 2023 Horoscope

Rose 01/02/2023 11/06/2023

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Our dear friend Norah Nasturas has graciously provided us with the New Year 2023 Horoscope and a Personal Horoscope for January 2023. I admit it. I do not understand a lot of the fine details of astrology. I do however, enjoy reading what astrologers have to say. If you would like to contact Norah, her contact information is at the end of this post.

Judy and I pray that 2023 is full of precious moments and a lot of AHA moments. 🙂

Ascendent Virgo = Ruler Mercury

Middle Heaven Gemini = Mercury

Mercury 28 degrees Sag in relation with Neptune 28 degrees Aquarius; Mercury Ruler of the year, movement, communications, talking, but at least for the first half no actions, the news about everything are in relation with illusions and manipulation, don’t listen too much to media: The TV or others information.

Mercury in Sagittarius, confusion but positive, more in relation with the Universal values. At the Same time, Lot of changes are coming in relation with information and new discovering,

Mercury Moon in the same element, the intuition is working together with the knowledge what give fast advancement in new things to do better life for people, working in the same direction, in the action.

Lot of people are having problems to adapt to the changes, thinking doctors/medicine can give solutions. And lot of problem with drugs. Drugs are not a solution. The solution is to help people to adapt to the changes, the changes happening in this last 2-3 years are irreversible, we are going to a different society, with different values, behaviors, educations, and spirituality.

Day Saturday = ruler Saturn, the first part of the year will be a new organization, and slow improvement, Saturn is moving to Aquarius, in direction Neptune, for 2 years ½ we will keep in the illusions, Middle 2025 we will know about what really happens in this period post covid. We will see the truth and understand.

Hour Sun = ruler Sun, positive year. Government will be improving too, take more action in relation with children, art and creativity (small businesses)

Venus = economy in Capricorn, slow improvement, will take 2 years to be ok.

Jupiter in Pisces, Jupiter is the protection we all have. In April 2023 Jupiter will move to Aries.

Lots of changes this spring in relation with Jupiter signification as Legal, Foreign, immigration, universities, learning, languages etc etc

Pluto in Capricorn = house prices are going to become normal.

Finally, Venus in Capricorn the first days of 2023 will be another change in the interest rate, in relation with the past actions of the country, the economy, the other countries, with Pluto will be another organization of the money for the country, The people, the business, in relation with priorities.

The moon in Aries is going to take us to the future, more importance for the women, the collective, the people, rapid changes. Lot of action taken by women, looking to past, change the meaning to be a woman, going out of the 2 nd category. As in women will be MORE PROMINENT.

Women fighting for family and children, with the Node north of the moon Rahu (karma), will change the future.

Mars in Taurus, all the activity for the country and people is ruled by Venus, taurus sign, the aggressivity of people will be coming down to most diplomatic behavior, the aggressivity/action of Mars will be transformed in diplomacy, Venus in Capricorn is in relation with the development of how the food is cultivated. Wall cultivation like Vertical Greenhouses.

Venus money = restriction, economy, creativity in 5 th house. Gambling, Complete change in the idea of money, from the past, the Money becomes an abstract idea, Property prices will be real, at the moment is completely an illusion, part of the Gambling situation.

People will start to Focus in new ways. The changes will be in projects, they will be reality in relation to Mars and will happen after the summer 2023.

The Node North of the Moon in 8 th house, People, women are asking for change, social benefits need to be updated, following the Changes in our society,

The 6th house, everything will be changed in relation with work, servants, pets, and very confused; in Aquarius with Neptune inside.

The 6th house in Aquarius, Health, Advance in the more natural ways to take care of the body at the same time that traditional Medicine, Aquarius is the sign of Freedom, Democracy, People. The governments need to find a solution in relation with the health problems and the health system, not only in Canada, will be probable that soon or later, we will have 2 systems in relation with health, the public and the private or will be more clear we have this 2 systems already??

January 2023 Horoscopes

Aries – Lot of changes especially in relation to the discovery about yourself. Who. Who I am and what I really want. A deep analysis of my past, a new cycle is starting with new ideas, values, optimism, thinking to a new start, trying to improving your life, health, organization,doing correction everything that is negative.

Taurus- the reality is here, and you need to face. You know is lot of work to do it and pain (Mars in taurus) but I am sure is going to be better, the shake-up (bad events) is passed, but you are not clear yet, Neptune in the 10 th House, fighti with illusions, the good thing is you have lot of people around, unknown new people and friends. Stay positive, little by little life is getting better.

Gemini- Good time to ask for a Credit or talk with the bank or ask for a raise. Routine becomes easier, we find solutions in relation with responsibilities or commitments, we have more organization, not too many changes and you realize that you are independent and strong and you find very good solutions to this difficult time you had the last 2-3 years. You are doing well.

Cancer- Surprises and changes at the work front, big jumps! Don’t forget the spiritual part in your life, enjoy the Result you are having after the hard work you did. Accept the gift coming from outside of your life, don’t be scared to be happy and don’t be hard on yourself.

Leo – don’t take risks, you don’t have the support you think. Your past relationships (co-workers, family, etc) and past actions are asking for solution, don’t fight, and Use diplomacy. Be very careful with investments or in relation with money, you will be losing lot of money if you don’t change your values, your behavior, try to be more in the reality than illusions, especially after spring 2023.

Virgo – You have the possibility this year to start a new life, with different way of thinking, try to make the necessary changes in your routine before the spring. You have the possibility to improve your career, using the knowledge you have about the Natural and Universal Values. The old teachers give you the knowledge you need to pass to new generations.

Libra – you are ok at this time, but your life is going to change in Spring, Lot of planets are going

to move and the same will be for different areas of your life. Take care of your health, you can do it now, don’t wait. Don’t worry about your career, you are now in the high possible place. Be careful after the spring the problems will start, especially Health.

Scorpio- Mars in Taurus, finally you will be in relation with your career in the high place you must be, Creativity, love, children Is ok but try to organize your future. Relationships are going to change, more work but different subjects with a change in the direction of your work, you attract people currently. Careful with your digestion.

Sagittarius – Good time for spirituality and travels, work and career is going to expand after the spring, more organization, friends coming from past (or past lives) future is open, put your engine to work, is a good year for you, little low in finances, be careful where you spend. You will have improvement in finances after the middle of the year.

Capricorn – Finally is finish these 3 years break in your life. Start to move again, start to live, put yourself in action is lot of opportunities there outside. Be smart, do it now; after spring will be much more difficult for you to find the NEW way. New friends are coming, old friends are going. Change your mind about you and the exterior, good for spirituality.

Aquarius – Become more interested in Nature, Natural healing, invest in yourself before March in new ways, find your happiness now, what you really would like to do. Don’t follow most people. Air is your element. The space is open waiting for you, all the possibilities are open for you Your health is improving lots. Don’t take drugs. Water is good for you, help to think. Go for swimming.

Pisces – Now your life is quiet, but Jupiter is leaving Pisces in March/April; time for a trip? Going to your roots, analyse your life and see what necessary change you need to do, try to come back to spirituality, you worry too much about money, but there are other things more Important in life, this year, you are going to find what is missing in your life. Control your health and your weight.

Effective January 1st 2023

Horary Chart (a question) $ 60.00 (approx. 15 min)

Chart Reading $ 180.00 (approx. 1 hour)

Esoteric, Karma, Spiritual Chart $ 275.00 (approx. 1 hour)

For appointments or information

Email: [email protected]

Text only: 519 497 6517 No phone calls

Blog Posts Handling Life

Featured

Ask for Help

Judy Johnston 12/24/2022 11/06/2023

As we come to the close of the year, and the change to a new season, let’s pause and consider some elements we can incorporate to make the next year of our lives better.

Stress, as Rose shared in the last post affects all of us. When kept in check, it can be a great motivator. A deadline is a good thing. Without a deadline or a finish by date, many projects may go uncompleted.

Here in the Northern Hemisphere the seasons also motivate us to get things completed. When working with nature, spring is the time to plant. Summer sunshine creates the growth, and fall is the time to harvest the crop. As winter approaches, we prepare for the cold temperatures and barren earth, a time to rest.

Traditionally the Christmas Season consisted of Advent, the 4 weeks of spiritual and physical preparation, for Christmas Day and the 12 days til January 6^th. Bringing light into the home with Christmas lights during the darkest time of the year is lovely and can be one of the nicest elements of Christmas. Putting up the Christmas lights and seeing them glow into to the night is truly a delight. It was highly ranked on our recent poll.

The food planning, cooking, baking, cleaning, and decorating is fun, albeit time consuming. The bulk of the preparation of shopping, gift wrapping, card writing, meal planning, cookie making, cleaning, decorating, party planning still falls primarily to the women of the home. The bustle of it can be fun and invigorating. Keeping the balance of it all from toppling us like a Jenga tower is the trick.

Christmas decorations in stores and that commercial push to purchase starts in October. Even our email in box is subject to ads. This can exert pressure on us. Sometimes by the time December 25^th arrives, the feeling of overwhelm is so big the joy gets squashed like the sweet potatoes. When we add in crowded grocery stores, unstable weather, unstable personalities, and over-sugared, tired tiny tots, it is easy to understand how some people can feel more like the Grinch, than little Cindy Lou Who. (Fah-who foris, dah-who doris, Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day)

As we gather together with family and friends to celebrate, laugh, and love the time we share, here are a few timely tips to make the season bright.

One way to offset that feeling of overwhelm is to focus only on what matters to you. Make a list. A list of what matters to YOU. Write your list, check it twice. Sharing with a friend is nice.

Choose what items matter most to you. If baking is not your passion, buy the cookies or pies.

ASK FOR HELP

Remember that friend? A task becomes a pleasure when shared with a friend.

Be specific in your ask. Remember the line, “ask and you will receive”?

In order to receive what will be most beneficial to you, be very specific. (Think the children’s letter to Santa… they know exactly what they want, emulate that enthusiasm). Never assume anyone can read your mind. Clearly and precisely ask for what you need.

Ask your son -in- law to help with the dishes. Ask your daughters to bring desserts or salads or both.

Delegate before the guests arrive so the family knows their roles. Kids take pride in taking coats and offering beverages. Give age-appropriate jobs to the little ones. It gives them confidence, pride and encourages responsibility. Be sure to thank them for their contribution to making the day special and tell them you are proud of them.

Shopping: If you hate shopping, pass the mantel to the one who loves to shop. Most teenage girls really like being at the mall. Volunteer hours are a part of the high school curriculum so ask a volunteer to help you with this task. Got a tech-savvy 20-year-old? They know Amazon like the back of their hand.

Remember that part of the fun of finding the perfect gift can be an after Christmas outing with your loved ones. Do an activity together. Rose likes to take her family skiing. I like hiking in the woods. Seeing the light festival in neighbouring towns that are on ‘til January is a fun night out. Taking your grandkids for an afternoon can be the nicest gift for their mom so she gets a nap, or a chance to read that book. These are low cost, but high value gift ideas that will be remembered for years.

Snow shoveling of sidewalks and driveways can also be volunteer hour credits. Of course, you can pay the kids a small gratuity.

Ask your creative child, friend, or spouse, to help you with the wrapping. Put some music on, pour your beverage of choice, clear the counter or the floor and cut, wrap, ribbon, bow and bag your presents with abandon.

If you are out and need help with parcels, packages, groceries ask the clerk for help. A recent back injury prevented me from lifting heavy items. I was pleasantly surprised with the enthusiasm I received from staff at a local store to carry my parcels to my car. He was happy to be asked.

Giving someone the opportunity to do something kind, increases that person’s dopamine. Dopamine is one of our feel-good hormones. It counter acts cortisol a stress hormone. Witnessing an act of kindness improves a person’s immunity by 20 percent. (Holt School of Natural Healing Reflexology Manual).

Plan to give yourself time for you. It can be the greatest gift you give to your family.

A warm bath.
Time to do your nails.
A walk outside before the people arrive.
Pet the dog or caress the cat.
Pause.
Let the joy of the reason for the Season fill you.
Breath in. Hold it. Exhale. Reset your body rhythm.

Our expectation of perfection is an illusion. Have fun. If something breaks, laugh it off. If all else fails, put on the Grinch and dance. Moving our bodies is a great way to shift stress out and happiness in.

Maybe Christmas he thought, doesn’t come from a store, Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more. May the love of Christmas on this Holy Night, fill your heart and home with God’s pure light.

Blog Posts Handling Life

Featured

Stress Management

Rose 12/07/2022 11/06/2023

Oh My Gosh. Yes, we are going to talk about stress management. And not just because the holidays are upon us. Stress management is something we want to be doing all the time. Stress hormones like cortisol, adrenaline and norepinephrine are necessary to our fight and flight response. When the stress hormones are in overdrive, they can wreak havoc in the body. Symptoms of elevated stress hormones can include any of the following:

Fatigue,
Irritability,
Headaches,
Intestinal problems, such as constipation, bloating or diarrhea,
Anxiety or depression,
Weight gain,
Increased blood pressure,
Low libido, problems with regular ovulation or menstrual periods, inability to orgasm,
Difficulty recovering from exercise,
Poor sleep,
Muscle pain or tension in the head, neck, jaw, or back,
Lack of focus and inability to make decisions.

None of this sounds like something I want to engage in. However, I have and still dance with a few from time to time. Even though stress is part of the human condition you do not have to keep it living under your roof indefinitely. Think of stress as that family member or friend who does not know when to leave. Eventually you have to do something.

We can manage our stress. There are high stress situations in life such as job loss, death in the family, divorce, trauma, giving birth, renovations, or illness. Situations such as these introduce feelings of depression or anxiety. These are normal – for a while. The trick is to recognize when you are stressed and choose to do something about it.

When we are in crisis situations managing stress is not what is on your mind. Survival is. It would tick me off, supremely, when well meaning people would tell me I needed to manage my stress when I was trying to survive a trauma. Stress management will come once the crisis has passed. And yes, the crisis will pass. That is a topic for another post.

We have all gone through crisis situations. We all know the feelings of panic, heart palpitations, sweaty palms, extreme anxiety, and looking for a way out. These are the fight, fright or freeze responses to impending danger, whether perceived or real. After the threat has passed the stress hormones should calm down. But what if you are surviving a situation that is in constant crisis, such as physical abuse or mental torment. You are constantly on alert. These symptoms become your normal. We stop recognizing the symptoms because we are so accustomed. These symptoms are also wreaking havoc on your body and mind. There is no way you can “manage” stress in situations like this. All you do is survive moment by moment. There is, however, a way you can release some of the stress.

When you are alone, the simplest coping mechanism is breathing; measured, deep breathing. If you can count and take a slow deep breath you can do this.

Take one deep cleansing breath, in and out.
Now, breathe in slowly to a count of six.
Pause to the count of three.
Exhale slowly to the count of six.
Pause to the count of three.
Repeat

Repeat until you have stopped shaking or you feel the tension release from your shoulders. I used to do this when the kids and I sequestered ourselves in one of their bedrooms when he was on a rampage. Together we would breathe. Then we would wait until he passed out. Often times the children would fall asleep in my arms. At the time I did not know this was a stress management tool. I was just getting a grip. The breathing would calm the children down quite quickly. It took me a lot longer to calm down, but calmness came over me every time. Breathing does not take the threat away. Breathing calms you down so you can think. It is our prayer that you have the courage to exit a situation like this. There are organizations to help you. Judy and I have used these organizations. Be prepared and find these places in advance of when you need them. I found it difficult to think during a crisis and learned to be prepared in advance. Having the information ready also helps to reduce your stress in the moment. You have a plan.

For those of us who have lived way too long with stress as a back seat driver we have some tips to help you get a firm grip on your stress. Choose one of these management techniques to get started. You do not have to do everything. If you hate exercise do not use it as a stress management tool. It will just stress you out more. Do something that rings true for you.

Exercise

So yes, I’ll get the “exercise” tool out of the way. Any exercise is good. I like walking and find that walking allows me to turn down the stress. Find a form of exercise that you like such as running, swimming, dancing, biking, or aerobics. You do not have to spend lots of money on exercise equipment or any at all. There are so many exercise routines that you can access on YouTube. Running requires a pair of running shoes. Dancing can be done in your living room or when you are cleaning. Turn up the tunes! Music itself calms the beast and shifts our mood.

Exercise helps lift your mood. This is because it stimulates your body to release a number of hormones like endorphins and endocannabinoids. When you exercise you tend to feel less anxious and more positive about yourself. When your body feels good, your mind often follows.

Did you know that exercise can reduce pain? It appears counter intuitive doesn’t it. It works. Movement gets fluid and those feel-good hormones moving around your body. Pain is blocked. That is why physiotherapy works. Physiotherapy gets body parts moving and pain is released. In every book I have read about specific areas of pain the prescription is movement before drugs.

Physical activity improves sleep. Better sleep means better stress management. Sleep renews the brain and body. Take care not to exercise too close to bedtime. Exercise too close to bedtime can disturb sleep for some people.

If you don’t have the time or energy for a formal exercise program, you can still find ways to move during the course of the day.

Bike or walk to the store instead of driving.
Use the stairs instead of the elevator.
Park as far as you can from the door.
Hand-wash your car.
Clean your house.
Walk on your lunch break.
Do cat stretches while on the couch. Have you ever watched a cat stretch. Mimic those movements. If you have never watched a cat stretch, check out this video. Modify the stretches to suit you.

Food – Your Nourishment.

UGH! Really? Yes – really. Your nourishment is vital to managing stress. We have all experienced stress eating. Sweets, cookies, cakes, chips, anything that temporarily satisfies the emotional state. Have you noticed that you usually beat yourself up after indulging in emotional eating? And you feel like crap. I was in a support group, and we talked a lot about emotional eating. Not one woman in the group felt good after a binge. We are bound to have binges. That is okay – on occasion. Be kind to yourself and vow to try harder and be prepared with a different strategy next time.

One of the benefits of eating healthy foods is your mental health. A healthy diet builds up your immune system, levels your mood, and lowers your blood pressure. Eat your vegetables. Vegetables should be half your plate. Protein, grains and complex carbohydrates fill the rest.

Antioxidants protect your cells from the damages of chronic stress. You can find antioxidants in a huge variety of foods like beans, fruits, berries, vegetables, and spices such as ginger and tumeric.

Sticking to a healthy lifestyle is easier with a few simple tips.

Make and stick to a shopping list.
Do not shop hungry.
Carry healthy snacks and water with you when you leave the house.
Stay away from processed foods as much as possible.
Be mindful when eating.

There are supplements available that can decrease the effects of stress on the body and mind. Be sure to get enough vitamin C, magnesium, and Omega 3 fatty acids as part of a balanced diet. Omega 3 is found in wild fishes such as salmon, sardine, mackerel and herring. Vitamin C can be found in cherries, grapefruit, oranges, moringa powder (put it in a smoothie). Magnesium is found in your leafy greens and cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, brussel sprouts, cauliflower).

Let feed be your medicine and medicine be your food. Hippocrates

Sleep

Do you struggle to fall asleep? This is a common side effect of stress. Insomnia is the inability to fall and stay asleep at least 3 times a week for at least 3 months. Lack of sleep can also add to your stress level and cause a cycle of stress and sleeplessness. It is a vicious cycle. So how do you get to sleep? Sleep habits. Sleep habits involve your daily routine and the way you set up your bedroom. Sleep habits include:

getting outside even if the sun is not shining. I have a friend that says there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing.
Exercise of some kind.
Drink less alcohol.
Drink caffeinated beverages before 2 pm.
Set a sleep schedule. You know – just like you had for children. Try having the same bedtime every night. Set your alarm for the same time every morning. That includes weekends. Try this for one month.
No electronics or television for 30 minutes before bed. If you like to read use an old-fashioned book. This is only for one month. It is not a life sentence.
Try meditation or other forms of relaxation at bedtime.

How do you set up your bedroom as part of good sleep habits? Your room should be dark. Black out curtains are a good idea. Keep your bedroom cool and as quiet as possible. When it is time for bed keep your phone outside of the bedroom. You can keep it in your ensuite bathroom. Just keep it out of your bedroom. The farther away the better. And turn it off. There are exceptions to keeping your phone turned on. Those are exceptions. Not the rule. Your bed should be supportive, have plenty of space and be comfortable. Pillows should support your neck. The material you sleep on is important. Natural fiber sheets are better for the body.

Connect with people.

Spend time with a friend or family member who will listen to you. If you think you have exhausted people who will listen to you and can afford a therapist go to a therapist. Talking out your anxieties is a natural way to soothe you and reduce your stress. Better results can be obtained when you walk and talk. Connecting with people in person releases a hormone that breaks your fight-or-flight-or-freeze reaction. You enter a state of relaxation. Hugs help too.

Behavior.

The manner in which you respond to people directly affects your stress levels. You can manage your response to people by:

Not overcommitting yourself (I still struggle with this one, but I am getting better.)
Share responsibility. You are not responsible for everyone nor everything.
Adopt the phrase, “I will think about that.”
Walk away from a heated situation or step back.

The voice inside your head.

Nothing affects your stress levels like the voice inside your head. Realize that you can control your inner voice. You can swap negative thoughts for positive ones. The benefits of positive self-talk are:

stress reduction,
a longer life,
lower levels of depression,
greater resistance to the common cold,
reduced cardiovascular disease and
better coping skills.

Laughter

Laughing is good for the soul. You take in more oxygen when you laugh. Your body releases the feel-good hormones. Your heart and lungs get a boost. Your muscles even get a wee workout. Laughter improves your immune system, lessens pain, and improves your mood for long periods time. Get together with those girlfriends and get laughing. Even a good comedy movie can lift your mood.

There are so many ways to manage your stress. This is only a few suggestions to get you moving in the right direction. A few others are Epsom salt baths, drink water, and be creative.

Feel free to share your favourite stress management techniques. We and our community would love to hear them.