Throughout our lives, we encounter perils. There are dangers, risks, and potential hazards that exist around us constantly. Most of the people in this group have experienced firsthand dangers, a life-threatening danger, a loss, not just the risk of loss but the actual loss of homes, jobs, friends, reputation, children, and financial stability. There are also vehicle accidents which damage bodies, kill loved ones, and create permanent change to lives. Having to leave your home because of domestic violence, or war, or natural disaster creates a serious and immediate danger. Another peril is death of a loved one or divorce which can lead to years of depression, anxiety, and loss of self worth. These perils have additional impacts on your well-being. Hans Selye defines these types of stresses as physiological stress, psychological stress, and psycho-social stress. To be on earth is to be exposed to dangers, problems, threats, menaces, and troubles.
When a peril occurs, the immediate threat must be addressed. Get to safety, secure yourself and your loved ones. Emergency personnel may assist with this. An entire industry of insurance has been created over the centuries to try to compensate for the financial loss which may occur as the result of a peril. But who is assisting with the psychological, psycho-social, and physiological affects of the peril? There are many areas that need healing. What happens after the acute aspect of the peril, is what goes on to shape one’s perception, belief pattern and life as a result of the incident.
Let’s start with changing our thoughts about the incident, peril, or trauma. This is not to diminish the tragedy. It is simply a way to look at it with a new lens so the pain can diminish and the wound can heal. Let’s look at what nature can show us.
Creating Pearls
In nature, oysters, clams and mussels can all produce pearls. Certain species of oysters called Pinctada, create the most pearls. They are located deep in the ocean. Let’s take a lesson from the oyster. The formation of a pearl begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle and shell. This irritation causes the oyster to attempt to protect itself, producing nacre to cover the foreign substance. Over time, these layers form a pearl. It can take from 6 months to 4 years to create a pearl. The oyster has transformed the irritation, the hurt, into something beautiful.
In our lives, the peril, loss, danger can loom large, even after the occurrence. As we dwell on the loss, and hurt, the presence of it becomes larger. Our intention of attention to the hurt, loss, and pain keeps it in the fore front of our mind. We can bring it into conversation at every opportunity. He did this, she did that. This happened. Yes, it did. It was awful. We survived it. It can take up more space and has the potential to crowd out other elements of our being. Whatever you focus on increases. With intent, we too can create transformation of a big hurt, into a thing of beauty. The pain, loss, shame, and hurt need not define us, just as the oyster uses nacre to cover the irritation, causing the rough, jagged edges of the foreign object to be smoothed over.
We do have a choice. We can choose to allow the hurt to dissipate. We can smooth off those rough edges of a painful memory. This will take intention. This takes the willingness to be willing to change. The resolution is not necessarily in restitution. See Rose’s article on Letting Go https://woundedwomenrising.ca/2023/09/let-it-go/. Meditation is one way to create the space for allowing for something different; as well as time with God, in prayer, in nature, in acts of kindness. Treat yourself with loving kindness. Treat others the same. What do you require to feel secure?
Imagine what you want your life to look like. Fill in the details. Colour this picture of your life in the colours you choose. You can draw an actual picture and put it up where you will see it. Choose a daily practice of some spiritual element. Read, pray, set intentions, focus on love.
Love becomes our nacre. Love creates peace, tranquility, stillness and purity. Love is wholly transformational. Holy and wholly.
Peace is something we carry within us. Peace is not shaken by external influences. Peace is a practice.
The irritation (peril) will be transformed into a thing of beauty. The purity of the pearl is what gives it value. The irritation is long forgotten and all that remains is the pearl’s translucent beauty shining into the world.
A peril can be your opportunity to allow the love that exists within you, to transform your hurt into healing, your peril into pearls.