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Stress, Distress, Eustress and You

As we go along this path called life, we may at some points find ourselves in situations, environments, relationships, or circumstances that we consider stressful.  These bumps along the road, which can, at times feel more like craters rather than just a pothole to avoid, impact us in many ways.    No human is immune to times of stress. Even Queen Elizabeth II had what she phrased as her “annus horribilis”.

”1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an annus horribilis”

 Stress is considered part of life.  But what exactly is stress?

Hans Selye, a pioneering endocrinologist, introduced the concept of “stress” in a medical context and developed the General Adaptation Syndrome model to describe the body’s response to stressors.

The physical, chemical, and biological responses in his theory of resistance or adaptation after an injury.  “Stress,” Selye insisted, “is essentially the rate of all the wear and tear caused by life.”1  Selye identified these stages as alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Understanding these different responses and how they relate to each other may help you cope with stress. The Alarm stage is the immediate response to an event, imagine being cut off while driving in heavy traffic, your heart rate and breathing increase, you may swear, and feel tense. Once the danger passes your heart rate , breathing return to normal.  The fight-or-flight or freeze response that occurs in the alarm stage is for your protection. A higher hormone level of cortisone, or adrenaline is for your benefit. It provides you with energy and improves your concentration so you can focus and tackle the situation. When stress is short-term or short-lived, the alarm stage isn’t harmful.

Some stressful situations, like going through a divorce, or a high stress job continue for extended periods of time. If the stress is not resolved, your body remains on high alert, it eventually adapts and learns how to live with a higher stress level. In this stage, the body goes through changes that you may not be conscious of to cope with stress.

Your body continues to secrete the stress hormones and your blood pressure remains elevated. You may think you’re managing stress well, but your body’s physical response tells a different story. If the resistance stage continues for too long without the break needed to reset, restore and recover to offset the effects of stress, this can lead to the exhaustion stage.  Resistance stage includes irritability, frustration and poor concentration. Sleep is interrupted, not as deep, and does not get to the necessary stage of cell renewal.

The exhaustion stage is the result of prolonged, chronic stress.  Exhaustion stage happens when your physical, emotional and mental resources are drained to the point where you can no longer have the strength to fight stress. A little event may be what breaks the proverbial camels back.  Hopelessness, fatigue, burnout, depression and anxiety are indicators, of this stage.  Decreased stressed tolerance and decreased immunity also factor in.   The physical effects put you at risk for stress-related illness.

  When does stress become a problem?  What can we do to counter the effects of stress?

​  The specific ranking of life events by stress level, known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), was developed by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967. This scale assigns Life Change Units (LCUs) to various life events to quantify their stress impact. The top 10 stress-inducing life events according to the SRRS are:​

  1. Death of a spouse – 100 LCUs​
  2. Divorce – 73 LCUs​
  3. Marital separation – 65 LCUs​
  4. Imprisonment – 63 LCUs​
  5. Death of a close family member – 63 LCUs​
  6. Personal injury or illness – 53 LCUs​
  7. Marriage – 50 LCUs​
  8. Dismissal from work – 47 LCUs​
  9. Marital reconciliation – 45 LCUs​
  10. Retirement – 45 LCUs​

These events are considered significant stressors that may increase the risk of health issues. It’s important to note that individual responses to these events can vary, and personal coping mechanisms play a crucial role in managing stress. ​ Remember, this prognosis may not be true in all cases for all people. It depends on the individual. The belief system they have, the support they have, and the coping mechanisms they employ.  A marriage is happy occasion so why would it be on the list? A marriage brings with it change. Change is not a bad thing and is often a necessary requirement to advancement and growth. It is how we perceive change that creates either a resistance or enhancement response in us.  A wedding can be stressful due to the perceived obligations, we put upon ourselves. It can also be a joyous celebration of the love we share.  Eustress is a positive stress. It is performance enhancing, often a short-term experience where one has perceived control, and it improves well-being. Imagine studying for a big exam, or interview, excelling at it, and the confidence, joy and courage you receive because of your efforts.  The impetus, the push either from yourself or a coach, parent, mentor, advisor, trainer is needed to get you to do the work required to reach your full potential.  That is one of the reasons for deadlines.  Humans are motivated by either the pleasure of reward, or by the avoidance of the pain, disappointment, or penalty or embarrassment of not doing the ‘thing’.  The whole income tax system in this country is precipitated by this principle.  How many people find doing their tax return to be stressful?   It is the reward at the end of a challenge that we focus on.  This is true of so many projects, endeavors, goals we set. There may well be frustrations along the path to the goal.  Focus on the result. Jeff Kranos tell us that “Acute short-term stress in the human body confers a health benefit and activates pathways that promote longevity and resilience.”  Good Stress. To build muscle, the muscle fibres need to be worked beyond their current capacity. Then rest is required, nutrition to fuel the growth of the muscle before the muscle is ready to be worked again.  Good Stress.

 Distress on the other hand, decreases performance. It can come with emotional, physical, and mental symptoms including but not limited to, back pain, headaches, digestive issues, irritability, emotional outburst of anger, tears, sadness,  apathy, lack of self-care, vision issues, sleep disturbances, mood swings, and brain fog or lack of focus or feelings of overwhelm.  If we stay in Distress for too long, it can lead to more serious issues like depression, high blood pressure, adrenal, hormonal and heart concerns. Distress can lead to dis ease.  Distress doesn’t allow for the rest and recovery period.  Our minds, bodies and emotions need to have a rest period to renew, restore and grow.

The Good News is:  You have the keys to change the outcome.  Our beautiful brains have plasticity. Most our bodies cells renew daily. Your biofield contains the energy of life.  It gives you the energy to live well. Bioenergy, the energy of life, provides us with the energy, needed to live. When the bioenergy is gone, the body is life-less.  Bio means life.   So be good to your biofield. “The body is an energy system in constant energetic interaction with its environment.”  “Healing happens on a non-conscious level through a transformation of the way you think and act.” Z. Hochstatter.  Our thoughts create.  It is essential to watch your thoughts.

Here is a list of practical things you can do starting today to help balance your stress levels.

1: Identify whether you are stressed. Just because something is happening outside of you, does not mean you need to stress about it.  You can choose whether you want it to concern you or not.  2: Identify your stressor. Is it a physical environment, work environment,  personal relationship, your self-image? Are your thoughts destructive to your peace of mind?   Are you at battle with your values?

 3: Identify the reason for stressor. Can you change your location if it is too noisy, or the temperature is irritating?  Is it an internal or external stressor?  Are there steps you can take to change?  Now make a plan.  

 4: Identify and apply an appropriate stress management strategy.  You can make changes to how you are living. Sit down and write a list of what is bothering you.  Leave space to write in the answers/solutions to the concerns.  Make another list of how you would like your life to be.  Be specific.

Ask yourself what habits are detrimental to your well-being?  What are you doing to bring joy into your daily life?  Can you speak with a trusted friend, counsellor or therapist?

 DO some physical activity, preferably outside!  Walking for 25 minutes a day has been proven to lower blood pressure and improve the metabolic rate.  Look at your diet. Sugar is a killer. Sugar feeds cancer and disrupts hormones.  (  I like cake on special occasions too.  A delicious chocolate cake brings me joy. One of the things that make it special is that it is a special occasional treat, not a staple food:} I bless it and eat it.

Every month Rose and I offer a PureBioenergy Healing Therapy for Stress Reduction. We know that stress causes 80% or more of all illnesses. “The energy we work with is informed. It is creative. This means it has the power to create or recreate the well-being of the person. When this happens, it happens on all levels. It happens on the physical level, emotional level, mental level and spiritual level. “We don’t address the illness, we address the health.” Zoran Hochstatter – 3 Chairs.  Sign up for and attend the 4 day PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online.    Experience the change that happens when you start to be healthy, happy and joyful.  Private PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is available in person or by distance for specific issues or ailments as well. You can reach me at [email protected] to set up an appointment.   The reason we offer a monthly PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online is that it provides a consistent method to balance stress so  you do not get to the exhaustive stage.  Here is the link to be put on the mailing list for our monthly healing events.

2024 was a highly stressful year for me, and my family.  I give credit to God, prayer and PureBioenergy Healing Therapy which I asked for, paid for, and received the many benefits of mental, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am grateful for the friends that checked in, walked with me, and made me laugh along the way.  Stress can make us a stronger, resilient compassionate person.  We manage stress, so it does not control us.

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Commitment Conundrum

What does commitment mean to you?  Is it a contract or a promise of intention?

Is it a rigid obligation of mind over matter? Can we think ourselves into being committed to an action? 

As I write this, I am struggling with commitment.  There are things I know I need to do to achieve the goals and objectives that I have set for myself.  I know structure and time management are important elements for achieving worldly objectives.  Lately though, I am just so damn tired.  The simplest things loom like giant unattainable, unscalable rock cliffs.  I don’t have the energy to pull myself out of the pit.  Fuuuddgge, as Ralphy from A Christmas Story would say. The lack of sunlight does take a toll on me, and thousands of others.  Women are 9X more at risk than men for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Fifteen percent of Canadians report a least a mild case of SAD within their lifetime. Two to 3 percent report a serious case within their lifetime, according to Alive Magazine Dec 2023.

When I was young, I was labelled as hyper-active.  Man, what I wouldn’t do to get some of that active back.  People who have experienced acute, and chronic stress often can have physical, emotional and mental ailments which may present as: Muscle pain, insomnia, fatigue, irritability, indecisiveness, apathy, loss of joy in activities that they used to enjoy. Sighing, not feeling energetic enough to exercise, or socialize.  Just Meh. When cortisol levels become too high in the body inflammation, increased pain, blood pressure increases and other stress related health conditions can result.

So what does this have to do with commitment?

When one is in a state of overwhelm, it is hard to commit to anything.  That feeling of overwhelm is part of a stress response. Today I want to encourage you to make a commitment to yourself.

I will do it as well.  Often we know what to do, it is the doing it that is the hard part.  First, let’s stop beating ourselves up .

Today is a new day.  Thank God that we get a new day, a new start, a new season. While we are still breathing, let’s find a reason to be joyful for a season.

Before one can commit to something, we must have a belief that the result will be worth the effort.  Faith comes first.   The thought precedes the action.  “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are right.” 1   The choice is ours.

Dr. J. Patterson tells a story of creating structure to help to overcome chaos of mind by organizing our environment. “Clean your room” was a catch phrase of his. He does inform us however, that for some people in a high state of overwhelm, they can’t clean their room.  It is too much to ask of them.  It would feel like asking a toddler to run a marathon.   Start smaller.  Open a drawer that you would like to organize, and think about how you would organize it.  You don’t even need to organize it that day.  Just create the mental space for the feeling of calm that being organized creates.

Be Kind to yourself.  Be compassionate with yourself.  Commit to one thing.

Just do one simple thing.  It can be something to aid your physical wellbeing.  Make a protein shake, or a green smoothie. 

Walk outside in nature. Live in a city? Where is your nearest park?   Ask a friend to come with you.  Movement works on many levels. It causes us to breathe deeper thus increasing the oxygen level in our blood, and sends serotonin to our brain.  When we use our muscles, our mood improves, our blood glucose levels balance, and our cardiovascular gets a nice boost of nitric oxide which not only has analgesic effect but also reduces blood pressure.  Movement is essential to balance hormones. Our lymphatic system which brings in nutrients and takes away waste and toxins needs movement to work.  It has no pump.  You got to move it, move it.   Dance is movement.  Skipping, running up and down the stairs, playing with the dog or kids.  Join a sports team, as a novice or a pro.  Ski, swim, skate .  Start with simple daily activity.  Balance on one leg, while you balance your budget.   Do squats while your brush your teeth. Do calve raises as you wash the dishes.  Hot/Cold therapy is also great for the lymph system.  Finish your shower with a cold rinse, starting from your toes, go up the whole body to your head. Your skin will glow, and your age won’t show.

Vitamin D is crucial to our well-being.  Most people in the northern hemisphere are deficient in Vit D.  It is required for bone health, immune system support,  mood regulation, muscle function, heart health , weight management, cell growth and differentiation, inflammation regulation and hormone regulation.  Yup, it is a biggie. The sunshine vitamin lights up our life.   Add your C’s, B’s and  A’s, and some zinc to help you think.   Eat with colour, savour the flavour of health.

Isolation contributes to depression, and anxiety and feeling listless.  Why are we punishing ourselves?  We are designed to be in community.  We are not meant to be alone. A burden shared is a burden halved. I really struggle with this. I forget to ask for help. To call my friends, and say hey, I was just thinking about you.  How are you?  When we are alone for long periods of time, we also may ruminate on that which we don’t like or don’t want. When we are with other people, don’t we ultimately end up laughing?

Comparison is another habit which is detrimental to our mental health. Scrolling through social media has an addictive quality to it.   It also takes time away from activities which may be more beneficial to us. You are blessed with gifts, talents, and a divine personality that is your own.   Let’s train our brain to be fully present and mindful with the people around us.  We can use mindfulness with our tasks and chores.  I have found music helps me lift my mood when I just got to get ‘er done.   Especially when I don’t really want to do, what needs doing. 

Reward yourself along the way.   What matters to you? What do you love?  Who do you love? Reward yourself with time with that person. Or time with your favorite book.  Or a bath with essential oils and Epsom salts. Funny how, a bath is now considered a reward.  Or time to do nothing.  Day dream.  Just be.

Give yourself the gift of Purebioenergy Healing Therapy.  Allow yourself to commit to your healing and your vibrant well-being.  The benefits of Purebioenergy Healing Therapy are exponential.  When our stresses decrease, our relationship with ourselves and with others improves.

Let’s choose to commit to a better me.   In so doing, we will create a Better We.

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The Story before the Story… the Apple Incident

For the past week or more, I have been trying to write an article on lies. Lying and where do lies come from. I have been stuck in my writing process. I also have had severe back pain. I go to my first area of relief which is PureBioenergy Healing Therapy. The thing about PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is that it heals on all levels. This means the emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our being are addressed as well as the physical.

In this process of healing, I uncover a lie that I have been living. I chose to leave my “past life” as I call it in the past. I thought that if I don’t think about it anymore, it will not affect me. In some ways, this is true. I do not have the anxiety I experienced prior to leaving my ex-husband. I present outwardly as someone who can make decisions, albeit in a slower fashion than most. I have a quick wit and enjoy making people laugh.

I am a sensitive. One of those people who feels things deeply. When someone shares their story, I can truly empathize. The month of October holds some strong emotional ties for me. My first marriage was in October, my beautiful daughter was born in October. And the apple incident happened in October.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, there was a bright sunny Saturday morning. My then husband had gone out with his friends on a motorcycle ride which was often his Saturday and Sunday morning routine. My friend, Maryon had invited my daughter and myself to go with her and her daughters to an apple orchard to pick apples. My ex-husband knew we were going to the orchard.

It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. The girls enjoyed picking the apples off the shorter trees and finding ripe red ones on the ground. My daughter and I picked a full bushel of apples. I was excited to have them to eat fresh as a snack. I make a great apple pie, with my Mom’s pie crust recipe, and apple crisp was often a breakfast food in my house.

Maryon’s daughters were older than my daughter. They wanted us to join them at the Spooky Farm which was a farm with a haunted house exhibit and where one could buy pumpkins.

I had tried to phone my ex to let him know we would be out later than originally planned. I Knew this was important. He did not answer the call. I knew it was close to lunch time and I had not left him a suitable lunch. My daughter and I had eaten enough apples, so we were not hungry. We headed out with our friends to the Spooky Farm. I did not realize how far away from our home this Spooky Farm was, having never been there.

I had a feeling of dread as I realized the time was now much later than I had said I would be home. We stayed a very short time at the farm. My daughter was now starting to pick up on my anxiety. She was happy to leave the Spooky Farm. We drove home. As soon as I drove up the driveway, I knew we were in trouble.

My ex-husband was furious that I had not been home when he got home from his ride. He was swearing at us before we got into the house. He sent my daughter upstairs to her room.

I had carried the bushel of apples we had picked into the kitchen. In his rage, he proceeded to throw every apple from the bushel at me. I could not talk to him or stop the madness. I had round apple shaped bruises on my back, my legs, my arms for weeks afterward. The beautiful red apples we so carefully picked, were splattered all over the kitchen. Every single apple was thrown. Then he left. I cleaned up all the smashed apples. Those that were salvageable I made into apple sauce. Months later I would find bits of dried apple under the fridge.

I never went apple picking again.

The irony is that I was worried that someone might find out what had happened. That I had made my husband that angry. I did not want my daughter to tell her teacher or anyone what had happened. I did not tell anyone till years later in therapy.

I share this story now because the shame, fear, anxiety I had that day, I know is felt by another woman. I know my daughter carries the pain of that day.


We are not responsible for someone else’s misplaced anger. We did nothing wrong. We do not need to lie to cover the pain caused by another’s actions. It happened. It is true. It is sad. It is so sad that a beautiful, sunny fall day has such a blight on it. The smell of fresh picked apple is bittersweet to me.