heal from trauma
heal from trauma
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Transformation – How Do You Heal?

When someone starts talking about transformation and healing, I immediately think of the brain, the mind. Through my research I have found that most people think about a significant and positive change or evolution in various aspects of their life. This can include personal growth, self-improvement, inner healing, or a dramatic shift in mindset, behavior, or circumstances.

I have learned over the years that transformation is not just about the mind. The mind and body are connected. What one believes in their mind affects their body. There is an intricate relationship between our thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and our physical health. The mind-body connection suggests that our mental and emotional states influence our physical well-being, and vice versa.

The mind-body connection is rooted in the biological and neurological systems of the body. The brain and nervous system play a central role in processing and responding to both internal and external stimuli, including thoughts, emotions, and sensations. Neurotransmitters, hormones, and other chemical messengers transmit signals between the brain and the body, influencing various physiological processes.

Our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs have a direct impact on our physical responses. For example, when we experience stress or anxiety, the brain activates the body’s stress response system, triggering the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones can lead to physical changes such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and muscle tension.

It is my belief that you cannot transform the mind only. In the process of transforming your mind you will transform your body. In the process of transforming your body you will transform your mind.

Please don’t misunderstand me. You aren’t going to have the body of an athlete if you simply change your mindset. However, if you have a mindset shift and believe you can have the body of an athlete you can actually achieve that. It will take work and perseverance.  But if you believe you can, you will. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

I would rather practice wellness than always addressing sickness. Wellness includes many healing modalities that encompass a wide range of practices and techniques to support the journey of transformation. My purpose in this article is to introduce different methods and for you to choose the ones that fit your beliefs, lifestyle, and pocketbook.

Traditional Therapy

Traditional therapy or counseling sessions with licensed therapists provide safe and supportive environments for you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Therapists utilize various therapeutic approaches such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), psychodynamic therapy, solution focused brief therapy, (SFBT) and trauma-informed therapy to help individuals process their past traumas, develop coping strategies, and cultivate resilience.

I have engaged in psychodynamic therapy, solution focused brief therapy and trauma-informed therapy. My favorite, by far, was the solution focused brief therapy. I found it to be the quickest and most effective therapy with the best results. I found that dwelling on the past and it’s influence on my life was a slow painful process as I had to relive the events and the emotions. I got more and more depressed and felt like I was spinning my wheels getting nowhere.

Sure, I did get some helpful tools in the process but the road was painful and too long. 

With solution focused brief therapy I determined the outcome I wanted and mapped out the road to get there. I didn’t dwell on the past. I focused on my now and my future. Less money. Better results.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation practices are powerful tools for cultivating self-awareness, reducing stress, and promoting emotional well-being. These practices involve paying attention to the present moment with openness and acceptance, without judgment. Techniques such as mindful breathing, body scans, and loving-kindness meditation can help individuals become more grounded, centered, and connected to themselves.

Meditation and mindfulness take time and practice. One often hears that you need to “empty your mind” to be an expert meditator and look like the gurus in many pictures. I have found that it is impossible to silence the chatter in my mind.

I started meditation and mindfulness about 3 years ago. It was tough at first. As soon as I sat in a quiet space my mind took over. I made grocery lists, listed phone calls I needed to make, jobs I had to do and even try to figure out solutions to not only my own problems but other people’s problems too. I was so frustrated I almost gave up.

Then, I read something by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He stated that it was not possible to empty your mind. He did say that it was possible to acknowledge the thoughts and let them pass. He said not to make judgements on what my mind was doing, just let the thought pass. I tried it and it works.

Now, I practice meditation at least twice a day, especially in the morning. I have joined a group of other meditators. We are currently working our way through the chakras. I am loving this practice.

The other meditation I do is online with Dr. Joe Dispenza. I find that my days are easier because I have more trust. More trust in myself. More trust in God. More trust in my abilities and the people who come into my life.

Mindfulness to me is paying attention to my thoughts and my words. How am I speaking to myself? How am I speaking to others? Am I being loving and kind? Am I being compassionate? When I pay attention, I can see what I like and don’t like and can change it in an instant.

I find driving brings out the worst in me. When I’m mindful I realize that the person who just pulled that jerk move has their “stuff” to go through and I can let it go and continue on my way without stewing or swearing about it.

Yoga

Yoga combines physical postures, breathwork, and meditation to promote holistic health and well-being. Yoga helps individuals release tension stored in the body, increase flexibility and strength, and cultivate mindfulness.

The practice of yoga increases body awareness. Through the practice we learn how we move through life. With breathwork we become aware of the importance of oxygen not only our physical body but to our emotions as well.

I used to hate yoga. I took many classes wanting to like it. But I never did! I walked out of a yoga class feeling like I got nothing out of it. The only yoga pose I really liked was “legs up the wall”. Yummy but not worth doing a whole class.

Then Covid hit. I wasn’t exercising as much. I was going through cancer treatments with my mom and a divorce. My stress levels were very high. All I wanted was to stretch. The only way I knew to get the stretch I desired was through yoga.  

I contacted my sisters and told them my dilemma. I asked them to join me in an online yoga class. They all agreed. We would do the yoga practice in our own homes and text the others when we were done and report on how we did. This was the beginning of my love of yoga. I do not do it everyday but I do engage in the practice at some point during the week. I also use some yoga moves as a cool down to my regular workout. Now, yoga is yummy and worth it to me.

Art Therapy

Art therapy is a form of expressive therapy that uses the creative process of making art to improve and enhance physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It can be a powerful tool for self-expression, exploration, and healing.

Through various art forms such as painting, drawing, sculpture, and collage, you can externalize your internal experiences, gain insights into your emotions, and access deeper layers of your consciousness. Art therapy can be particularly beneficial for those who may find it challenging to verbalize their feelings or simply don’t have the words to express themselves.

Many therapists, counselors, and mental health professionals offer art therapy sessions as part of their practice. These sessions provide a safe and supportive environment for individuals to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences through artmaking. If you would like to experiment with art therapy, ask your therapist about it. If they don’t offer it as part of their practice, they should be able to connect you with someone who does.

Community art centers often offer classes, workshops, and open studio sessions for people of all ages and skill levels. These centers provide access to art materials, studio space, and guidance from experienced instructors, making it easy for individuals to explore their creativity in a supportive and non-judgmental setting.

There are many online resources and platforms that offer virtual art classes, tutorials, and communities for artists of all levels. Websites such as Skillshare, Udemy, and YouTube provide a wealth of instructional videos and resources for learning different art techniques and styles from the comfort of home.

Attending local art events, exhibitions, and gallery openings can also inspire artistic expression. These events provide opportunities to connect with other artists, explore different art forms and styles, and gain inspiration from the work of others. It also gets you out of the house. Call up a friend or go by yourself. You will never regret feeding your mind with soulful adventures.

Art therapy is more about the process of creating than the end result. Maybe we should rename art therapy, Creative Healing. Hmmmm, I like that sound of that.

Focus on the act of self-expression and exploration rather than worrying about creating a masterpiece. Experiment with different art mediums and techniques to find what resonates with you. Painting, drawing, sculpture, or mixed media. Pick one to start. There are endless possibilities for creative expression.

There are no right or wrong ways to make art. Your efforts and your unique perspective and experiences are valuable. If you are perfectionist Creative Healing is an ideal way to climb out of the perfection space and accept what is and call it beautiful. Always remember, the more you engage in the activity the better you get.

Nature Therapy

Spending time in nature has been shown to have numerous therapeutic benefits, including reducing stress, improving mood, and promoting overall well-being. Nature therapy, also known as ecotherapy or wilderness therapy, includes activities such as hiking, gardening, or simply spending time outdoors in natural settings. Forest bathing or Shin Rin Yoku is a method of nature therapy. Get out in the bush or the woods. Don’t be afraid to touch the trees.

Connecting with the natural world can help you feel grounded, rejuvenated, and connected to something greater than yourself. Stop. Breathe. Relax. Believe. Love.

Breathwork

Breathwork practice focus on the conscious control of your breath to promote relaxation, emotional release, and inner healing. Techniques such as deep diaphragmatic breathing, breath awareness, and breath retention can help you regulate your nervous system, reduce anxiety, and access deeper states of consciousness. Breathwork sessions led by trained facilitators provide a supportive space for individuals to explore their breath and its connection to their emotions and experiences.

I started doing breathwork when I was introduced to the work of Wim Hof. Wim Hoff, also known as The Iceman, is a Dutch motivational speaker and extreme athlete noted for his ability to withstand low temperatures. His method is a technique that combines controlled deep breathing, cold therapy, and commitment to help you connect more deeply to your body.

I enjoy the Wim Hoff breathwork. I have not mastered the cold therapy. I keep trying but I have to admit I do not like it. I would rather be warm. There is still a benefit to engaging with his breathing technique.

I have discovered other breathing techniques through my yoga practice and with my meditation coach SevaRam Spronk. I love all of it.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy

My favorite healing modality is Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy. Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy is based on the principle that the body has an innate ability to heal itself when its energy flow is balanced and unobstructed.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy offers a gentle yet powerful approach to promoting health and well-being by restoring the body’s natural energy balance. It can be an effective tool for addressing a wide range of physical, emotional, and mental health concerns and supporting individuals on their journey toward optimal wellness.

Practitioners of Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy work with the body’s energy allowing energy to flow freely and facilitate the healing process.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy utilizes various techniques to assess and address energetic imbalances in the body. These techniques may include identifying areas of congestion or depletion, and using specific hand movements and intention to channel healing energy to the affected areas. The energy of life has all the information of wellness in it, therefore the body knows exactly what to do with it. The therapy is non-invasive, structured and typically involves light touch or hands-off approaches.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy can be used to address a wide range of physical, emotional, and mental health concerns. It is often used to alleviate pain, accelerate healing from injuries or surgeries, reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep quality, and enhance overall well-being. The therapy is gentle and suitable for people of all ages, from infants to the elderly.

Clients who receive Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy often report feeling deeply relaxed, peaceful, and energized during and after sessions. Some may experience sensations such as warmth, tingling, or subtle movements in the body as energy begins to shift and rebalance. Many clients notice improvements in their symptoms and overall well-being with continued sessions over time.

Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy can be used as a complementary approach alongside conventional medical treatments. While it is not a replacement for medical care, it can support the body’s natural healing processes and enhance the effectiveness of other treatments.

Each month you get to participate in an online Pure Bioenergy 4 Life Healing Event. You can register using this link. For more information about this healing modality click on any of the links above.

You will notice that I did not talk about diet and exercise. There is so much information available to you if you want to go in this direction. I felt it was better to talk about other ways to transform your body. Choose one of the modalities I’ve talked about. Experience the difference it can make in your life. I dare you!

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Coping With Chaos: A Guide for Wounded Women

How many times in the past few years have you wished you could unplug from the chaos surrounding you?

I remember thinking that I just wanted to get off the merry-go-round. I could not get a grip, a hold on anything. And I doubted everything.

When my wasband was having an affair, I knew it deep in my soul. Even though I knew it, I could not prove it. With no proof, I convinced myself that I was imagining it. But there was that niggling deep down that something was very wrong.

The thoughts that spun around in my mind were chaotic. I suffered. I suffered because I did not know what to believe, including myself. The questions assaulted me day and night. The how’s, the who’s, the what’s, the why’s. Even the question of “What did I do to cause this?”

The chaos leaked over from my mind into my life. At one point I felt completely immobilized. Then, the proof began to rise to the surface. I felt vindicated by the proof, but it did not quiet the chaos. A whole new onslaught of “stinking thinking” took over. I wanted off the merry-go-round and I wanted off NOW!

Chaos refers to a state of disorder, confusion, or unpredictability. It manifests in various forms, disrupting your sense of order and the stability that we look for.

For wounded women, emotional chaos is a prevalent aspect of our lives. This impact of trauma leads to a wide range of intense feelings such as fear, anxiety, anger, and deep sadness. These emotions can surface unexpectedly, contributing to our sense of internal turmoil.

Chaos can be triggered by unexpected events or reminders of past trauma. The unpredictable nature of these triggers adds an element of instability, making it challenging for you to predict and manage your emotional responses.

Chaos extends to all our relationships, with trust issues, difficulties in forming connections, and challenges in keeping healthy boundaries. The aftermath of trauma can affect the way wounded women engage with others, leading to interpersonal struggles and a sense of uncertainty in our social circles.

Wounded women grapple with the unknown, fearing what might come next. We have spent a lot of time trying to control the daily events of our lives, always predicting the worst-case scenario and planning what we would do when the bomb exploded. This uncertainty can further contribute to a sense of chaos in our lives, even when we are removed from the cause of our trauma. Do you feel unable to anticipate or control the challenges ahead?

Trauma shakes the foundations of our identity, leading to a profound loss of self. As wounded women we experience the sense of disconnection from who we once were, contributing to a state of existential chaos as we question our purpose, our values, and our place in the world.

Chaos is often cyclical, with one challenge leading to another. We may find ourselves caught in a loop of difficulties, each compounding the other. Breaking this cycle becomes crucial for restoring a sense of order and control.

Understanding the multifaceted nature of chaos is a crucial step in addressing and navigating the impact on our lives. By acknowledging and dissecting the different dimensions of chaos, we can begin to develop strategies for coping, healing, and reclaiming a sense of stability and purpose.

Within the chaos, there is the potential for healing and growth. The journey towards recovery involves navigating the complexities of trauma, facing challenges, and transforming pain into resilience. This dual nature highlights the absurd coexistence of chaos and potential renewal.

Acknowledging and harnessing this potential can empower you on your journey toward recovery. Let’s explore the ways which healing and growth can emerge amid chaos.

Imagine if you could build resilience as the cornerstone of your healing.

Chaos often unveils the natural resilience and strength within individuals. In navigating the complexities of our experiences, we discover an inner determination that allows us to face adversity head-on. This resilience becomes a cornerstone for our healing.

Each challenge inside the chaos offers us an opportunity to learn and grow. As we face difficulties we get new insights, skills, and perspectives. These lessons contribute to our personal development and resilience.

Think of a time when you said no when you usually would have said yes or maybe would have said nothing at all. These times showed you that the world did not fall apart when you took control of your thoughts, values and notions and stood up for yourself. This recognition shows you that you are strong.

How many times did you keep getting up and keep going, after hardship and misfortune? This shows that you are resilient.

The chaos following trauma prompts a deep exploration of our identity. Through introspection and self-discovery, we have the opportunity to redefine who we are. We get to shed old stories and embrace a more authentic sense of who we are. This process is fundamental to the healing journey.

The chaos of trauma often prompts existential questions. When we seek meaning and purpose, we embark on a journey of profound self-reflection. This quest for significance contributes to a sense of direction and clarity, fostering a deeper understanding of our life’s purpose.

Overcoming chaos nurtures a sense of empowerment. As we navigate and conquer challenges, we gain a newfound belief in our ability to overcome adversity. This empowerment becomes a catalyst for further growth.

Nothing causes the development of coping mechanisms more than chaos. In our quest for stability, we often discover healthy coping strategies. Strategies such as a mindfulness practice, creative outlets, or therapeutic interventions. These tools become essential for managing the impact of chaos.

Chaos tends to pull us into the hullabaloo of past traumas or anxieties about an uncertain future. Through mindfulness practices, wounded women can cultivate an awareness of the present moment. The benefit of mindfulness is the reduction of overwhelming emotions and the fostering of a sense of calm amid the chaos.

Healing is often helped through connections with others who understand and empathize. As wounded women we can find solace in support networks— with fellow survivors, friends, and family. Building and nurturing these connections becomes a source of emotional sustenance and shared strength.

Seeking professional help, with a focus on your outcome rather than a reminder of your past, can be a transformative step toward healing. Therapists provide guidance, tools, and a safe space for processing trauma, fostering growth, and facilitating the integration of coping mechanisms.

Chaos often involves significant change. Embracing change as a catalyst for personal transformation allows women to reshape their stories. This adaptability becomes a powerful force for positive change.

The potential for healing and growth during chaos lies in the resilience, self-discovery, empowerment, and connections that emerge through the journey of overcoming trauma. By recognizing and nurturing these aspects, wounded women can navigate the complexities of their experiences and move towards a future marked by strength, purpose, and renewed well-being. We believe that when a woman heals, the world is healed, one woman at a time.

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“From Shadows to Strength: A Guide to Self-Focus and Healing After Trauma”

Many women who have experienced trauma find it tough to focus on themselves. Trauma can often lead to a heightened sense of hyper-vigilance, where you are constantly accustomed to scanning for potential threats. This makes it difficult to turn your attention inward and prioritize self-care.

In the aftermath of trauma, you also struggle with feelings of guilt or shame, which further impede your ability to focus on yourself. The journey to healing often involves breaking down these barriers and nurturing a sense of self-worth and self-compassion.

Given how much of your energy was consumed serving the needs of others and protecting yourself and your loved ones, do you find the act of self-focus is a selfish effort?

Allow me to put this into perspective.  Self-focus is not selfish. Self-focus is a crucial aspect of healing. Acknowledging and meeting your own needs is essential for recovery. Self-focus is not only a right but a responsibility, especially in the context of trauma recovery.

I had a difficult time allowing myself to focus on anything other than my children after I was able to exit the difficult life in my first marriage. I shifted focus from walking on eggshells with my alcoholic husband to overprotecting my children and making sure they were functioning and had everything they needed. There was no time or room to focus on me. I was too exhausted emotionally, and physically. There came a day of reckoning. I was alone for the first time since leaving the marriage. I had no idea what to do with the time I had. My mind went crazy. I had crazy thoughts. I felt like a caged animal. I had thoughts that I could not make it on my own. I had thoughts that I should go back. I became scared and restless.

So, I did what any crazy woman would do and I sat down. I breathed deeply and considered the thoughts going through my head. Why would I go back into a situation where my life was threatened? What was there that was so important that I did not feel I could make it on my own? As my mother would say, “I had a good talk with myself.” I realized that if I was going to be a good mom, I needed to provide for my children. I could not do that if I went back to the situation where we were not safe.  I could not do that if I didn’t discover who I was. I needed a job with a steady income. I made a plan that day. Within a week I had a job. Shortly after that I started seeing a counsellor. I began a journey of self-discovery.

Through the years I still struggle at times with self-focus. Self-focus appears to be more selfish than self-discovery to me. I continue to learn and allow myself to focus on myself. When I take time for myself, I do the things I want to do. If that is nothing, then I do nothing. Nothing also serves a purpose. It allows for rest. I have not always made good choices but I have learned a lot of lessons. There have been setbacks. There have been times when I abandoned my journey. There have been times when I became obsessed with my journey. I have realized over the years that I have nothing to give anyone if I don’t know who I am and what I like and do not like. This knowing is a result of self-focus. The journey continues to this day.

It is absolutely necessary that you consider making self-focus a priority in your life. If there is one thing that can assist you in coming to the place where your trauma does not rule your life, self-focus is the key.  This is a really strong statement. But I believe it with all of my heart.

If making this decision seems too scary or you find yourself wanting to run for the door please stop. Stop and consider one way you can put the focus back on you. Was there a time in your life where you were confident and happy? Think about how you felt then. Would you like to feel that way again? There is a way to get to a good place in your life, a place where you like yourself again, even love yourself again.

Let us dig into a few ways you can begin your journey into self-focus. I am going to give you options in the following list. You do not have to take on all of the opportunities. Choose one. Only one. Try it out for 14 days. If you find yourself not following through with a 14-day discovery, it is possible the one you chose does not resonate with you. Choose another one.

Keep choosing until you find something you can stick with for 14 days. Sticking to something means you are not making excuses for not doing it. Do not justify or lie to yourself for not doing it. Be honest. I cannot stress the importance of consistency enough, as you focus on yourself. Commit to 14 days. You are worth it.

None of these options takes a long time to execute. Some are 10 minutes or less. Some are more of an awareness.

Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques

a. Practice deep breathing exercises to promote relaxation and grounding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbDoBzGY3vo This is a 5-minute mindful breathing exercise.

b. Mindfulness meditation helps you stay present in the moment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssss7V1_eyA This a 5-minute mindful meditation practice.

Self-Compassion Practices

a. Write yourself a kind and understanding letter. Acknowledge your struggles, then write down what you have learned about yourself through the struggle. How strong are you? Have you been able to ask for help? Extend understanding and love yourself in this letter.

b. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would a close friend. You are deserving of this kindness and understanding.

Setting and Communicating Boundaries

a. Recognize that setting boundaries in relationships is healthy. Consider the book, Boundaries Where You End and I Begin: How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries

b. Think about and decided what boundaries you need so you can indulge in self-focus.

c. Practice giving clear communication when expressing your needs and boundaries.

d. Practice saying NO. No is a full sentence. You do not have to justify your NO to anyone – at any time – for any reason.

Journal for Self-Reflection Write about positive experiences, personal strengths, and moments of self-discovery.

Engage in Creative Outlets Creative expressions like art, writing, or music are a means of self-discovery and emotional release. While engaging in these activities you are able to transcend your hurts and worries and immerse yourself in beauty.

Establish a Self-Care Routine

a. Consider warm baths or showers to relax your body.

b. Use aromatherapy or scented candles to create a calming atmosphere.

c. Consider a digital detox. Schedule a period of time with no technology to reduce information overload.

d. Limit your social media. Consider checking social media only at specific times of day.

e. Exercise – even if it is just a walk at lunch time.

f. Get outside. Raise your face to the sun. No sun? Raise your face to the sky. Breathe.

g. Spend some time in nature.

Gratitude Incorporate gratitude exercises into your life to shift your focus from the negative to the positive aspects of your life. My favorite exercise is a gratitude journal. A couple of minutes in the morning or before bed and my mind begins to focus on the positive things in life. Regularly acknowledging and expressing gratitude can contribute to a more positive mindset.

One of the exercises my coach told me about and I found very helpful, was identifying negative thoughts. Pay attention to your thoughts, especially the thoughts that are self-critical, defeatist, or overly negative. Keep a thought journal to record and analyze your thoughts associated with specific situations.

View your thoughts as separate from yourself. Instead of saying “I am a failure,” say “I am having the thought that I am a failure.” This helps create a mental distance from the negative thought.

Evaluate the evidence supporting and contradicting your negative thoughts. Ask questions like “What evidence do I have for this thought?” and “Is there any evidence against it?”

Generate alternative, more balanced interpretations of situations. Consider different perspectives and ask, “Is there another way to interpret this situation?”

Objectively evaluate your thoughts based on facts or assumptions. Ask questions like “Is there any concrete evidence supporting this thought?”

Challenge catastrophic and exaggerated beliefs about the severity of potential outcomes. Take a realistic evaluation of the likelihood and consequences of feared events.

Set small, achievable goals to build a sense of accomplishment and challenge negative self-perceptions. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small, to reinforce the positive events in your life. Every little thing you do can have a momentous effect on your future.

Self-focus is not selfish. Self-focus is a crucial aspect of healing. Acknowledging and meeting your own needs is essential for recovery. You can explore the idea of taking care of yourself. Not only is self-focus a right, it is also a responsibility, especially in the context of trauma recovery.

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Wisdom

Wisdom is a word we hear a lot. We all seek it. We believe life will be better if we have it. But can you define it? It struck me last week that Judy and I talk a lot about wisdom. Our website tag line is “The Wounded Woman’s Way to Wisdom.” So, what do we mean? What drives us to lead you into wisdom?

Let me start by defining wisdom.

Wisdom, sapience, or sagacity is the ability to contemplate and act productively using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense, and insight.

Wikipedia

When I first read this definition, I paused. I realized that no one escapes gaining wisdom. As we live our lives, we all gain knowledge, experience, and insight. Most of us gain understanding or common sense, but not everyone. We cannot escape obtaining wisdom. We can, however, lack the ability to contemplate and act productively. When you live your life with “your head stuck in the sand” or being oblivious, you may miss the opportunities to act on what you have gained through experience. When we do not take responsibility for our actions we are not performing in our wisdom.

Why is wisdom such a big deal? Wisdom is key to making choices that bring joy. We all seek joy. Joy appears elusive to most. Could it be we do not experience joy because we are lacking in the pursuit or exercise of wisdom?

During my research for this article and years of seeking wisdom I was and am aware that wisdom is normally referred to in the feminine. Wisdom is called “she” and “her” in scripture. The book of Proverbs is full of thoughts on wisdom and refers to wisdom in the feminine. For example, “Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3:15

Wisdom is said to originate with God and God gives wisdom.

The Koran says that only Allah has wisdom and gives intelligence at his will.

Buddha says wisdom can be reached by knowing the impermanent nature of all objects we hanker after and annihilate cravings for them. Wisdom is knowledge.

Hinduism says that wisdom is higher than knowledge obtained by reasoning and inference. The path to wisdom is meditation, self inquiry, and contemplation.

Humanism states that wisdom comes from many diverse sources but is primarily something that develops over time through sharing and challenging of ideas.

Our Indigenous People say that wisdom is about the interconnectedness of all things. Wisdom deepens understanding. Wisdom is gained experience. Knowledge is to know the difference between wisdom and knowledge and accept responsibility and accountability. Wisdom is the future.

I found this online at mooshwalks.com. They say wisdom is a virtue that is not innate but can only be acquired through experience. Anyone who is interested in trying new things and reflecting has the ability to gain wisdom. This website says to

  • try new things,
    • talk to people you do not know and listen,
    • do things the hard way,
    • make mistakes,
    • share your wisdom with others.

For our community wisdom is not something to be attained. It is something to be developed as we heal from our traumas, our mistakes, and the mistakes we see others make. Wisdom is developed when we celebrate our successes, For us wisdom is the pursuit of knowledge to share with you so you can heal and become whole. Judy and I actively search for the wisdom others have received and shared to help you. Judy and I have walked the path of trauma throughout our lives. We have managed situations we wish we could take back and get a do-over. We have managed situations the best we could with the information we had at the time. We have been brave. We have been crushed. We have been restored to a place where helping other women navigate the waters of healing is the deepest desire of our souls.

We believe that when one woman heals, a community is healed. The life of one woman touches so many people. Heal her. Heal her community. Teach her and you teach her community. Love her and she loves her community. This is what drives us in the pursuit of wisdom.