family values

Values are passed down through generations. Geography plays a role in our values. Parents play a role in our values. Extended families play a role in our values. Friends, teachers, coaches, television, radio, music all play a role in the formation of our values. Religion or other systems of belief plays a role in the formation of our values.

Our family values come from our social circles and the cultures we grew up in. I grew up in a Catholic neighbourhood, went to a catholic school and was married in a catholic church. I adopted values from my catholic upbringing such as:

I have adopted values by being born a Canadian, such as:

I have adopted values from life experiences, such as:

Consider in what country you were born. Consider your family, parents, siblings, and grandparents. Consider where you went to church or why you did not go to church. What values did you pick up?

If you are from America, you may value individualism, materialism, and achievement.

If you are from Latin America, you may value family, respect, and honour.

If you are Asian, you may value education, respect of authority and hierarchy and unity.

As an African you may value hospitality, morality, and time.

A Christian may value compassion, humility, and love.

A Taoist may value kindness, simplicity, and modesty.

A follower of Judaism may value respect, fairness, and community.

If you grew up in a family that valued time together, you may have adopted that value. If your family of origin valued travel, then you too may have adopted that value and plan regular excursions. If your family didn’t value travel, then you may have adopted the value of travel because you are “not going to live like they did”.

What experiences have you had in life? Did a close friend die young? An event like this can instill a value of living in the moment with a heightened sense of gratefulness. Have you been cheated on?  A life event like this can instill a value of fidelity or loyalty. Did you get fired from a job unjustly? Your value of loyalty or trust would take a hit.  I am sure you get my point.

Who are you? What have you experienced?

The answer to these questions forms your

These inform your values, what you care about or not, whether you think about it or not.

Your values inform your decisions and actions.

Our values are on display constantly as we interact with others, choose the programs we watch, choose career paths and pass judgement on ourselves and others. How could interactions with others influence your values? Imagine for a moment you are in the grocery store. You are choosing oranges from the bin when you hear a man interacting with his wife. He is loud and commenting on the fact that she is spending too much money, those are too expensive, can we leave yet and on and on it goes. You glance over at them. You catch her eye and offer that look between women that says “I’m sorry” without having to say a word. You sneer at him. He misses it. In your mind you say, “I’m glad my husband doesn’t act like that in public.” You have displayed two of your values, compassion, and propriety.

Your values come into play each time you pick up the remote to watch a television program. Are you going to watch that movie with mild pornography or tune into a Disney movie? Did you choose a career path in finance? You could choose to help people with their money, or you can choose to make money for yourself. And on and on it goes, a lot of it unconsciously.

Our values influence E V E R Y T H I N G in our lives and they come from our families, our cultures, and our life experiences.