When something is challenging, difficult or an effort, our first reaction is often to resist.
We may complain, dare I say whine. We may think of ways or hows to get out of it. The stronger we feel we don’t want to do it, whatever it is, the stronger the resistance in us becomes.
We think. We worry. We run the “What Ifs” in our minds.
What if I don’t like this new change? What if I can’t do it? What if people won’t like me if I make this change?
There is a law in physics that says ” An object at rest, remains at rest unless acted upon by an external force.”
We too “remain at rest”. Not that we are lazy. We are just convinced that we are comfortable. We may say “That is just how things are. I can’t do anything about it”.
We are resistant to change.
What motivates one to change? The desire for the new result, must be greater, than the desire to remain in the pain. Sometimes, we don’t even see the pain, we are causing to ourselves, or to others because we are simply oblivious to it. It has become such a part of our belief system, we persist in the perspective.
One may say ” I am how I am.” , “This is the cross that I bear”. I will never…lose weight, be able to do that {whatever the “that” is}. I need my glass of wine every night. I need my coffee every morning. I can’t do math. I am not technical. I am not musical. I am too old, too tired, too young, too busy, too sad. I can’t.
We all have problems, issues, habits. Good and bad habits. We all need improvement. So how do we overcome the inertia? How do we address this resistance that is embedded in our thought pattern? How do we avoid this procrastination station, and just do it!
Wayne Dwyer used to say “Change your thoughts, Change your life.” That is true. Your thoughts create your actions, your action creates a habit, your habits becomes your life. But how do I change my thoughts? To change my habits, to change my life?
Here are a few suggestions on how:
1. Become aware of our your thoughts.
The average person has approximately 6,000 thoughts per day. According to research at Queen’s University, based on data from MRI brain scans of volunteers, a thought every 9 seconds. So how do we herd these random cats running around in our brain? Pause. Breathe. Ask yourself, what was I just thinking?
Is that true? By the way, your thoughts are not you. You are the one thinking the thoughts.
Most thought of worry, self criticism, judgement of self or others, are not true. There are imprinted beliefs that re-circulate in our heads, and they are totally false.
By the age of 7, many of our beliefs about ourselves are established. Who influenced your thinking and beliefs at that time?
I personally had a critical belief that when I tried something for the first time and failed at it. My mind would shout at me. “OH Judy, You are Such an Idiot”
Where did that come from? A conversation with my sister confirmed she too held that belief. It is not true. Yet there it was. Once I recognize it, I can change it.
Forgive them. Forgive yourself. Send only love to yourself and others.
2. If you want to go on a road trip to a specific destination, you will need a map. Directions on which roads will take you there. If we want to be different, we have to do different. You cannot keep taking the same road, and expect to get to a different destination. If you want to have strong muscles, you will need to exercise and strengthen those muscles. Thoughts are no different. When you catch yourself, going down the path of self-sabotage, stop. That is a dead end road. It hurts you and your potential.
You are the driver on this road trip. Stop. Find the thought path that serves you, and take that path. Use your affirmations – see Rose’s article. Choose to change your direction. Be willing to change. Make your GPS – Good Progresses Success. You don’t need perfection. You want progress. Good is good enough.
3. It is beneficial and a lot more fun to have a travel buddy. You are not alone. This is a common belief in those who have experienced a trauma. Ask for help.
I have experienced this personally numerous times. When you need help, ask for help. No one can be expected to know everything. Often a different perspective, helps us to see a new way to our desired result. Another’s expertise may be just the thing to help you achieve your goal or desired result. We are here to help each other. Thank them. Then when someone asks you for help, you too benefit by helping. If there is not a person in the moment, ask for help out loud to God., The Universe, Source, that which you call to in spirit. Ask and you will receive.
4. Be curious about how our thoughts are influenced by the gut biome. Food affects our mood. It impacts our energy level, our hormones, our drive. Try eating clean, as in no preservatives, processed food, or sugar; then observe what happens to your thought processes. Your biofield contains the information of wellness. Seek and you will find ways to eat, live and be resilient.
5. Take the first step. In September, I was at Greystone Retreat House and Rentals. I was trying to get down into the waters of Georgian Bay. In this area, there were rocks, large and small that had to be traversed to get to the water. As I was stepping on them, it came to me like a revelation: I had to take the first step. Step onto that rock, then test out, and find the next rock to step onto. I couldn’t see the path down to the water, until I was actually on those rocks, then the next step would appear. I step out, then climb, step or stretch to the next one. My lesson was this. Take that first step. Trust yourself and know the next step will be there.
6. Peace is within you. When you need to make a decision, write out your objective, note your resistance, {resist stance}, list your options, ask for counsel if needed, and when you have the answer that brings you peace, trust it. We all have choices to make daily. You can do this. A change may do you good.