anger – Wounded Women Rising

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the fragrance emitted by the violet as it is crushed by the heel that treads upon it. (Mark Twain)

Have you ever heard someone say, “I will say I am sorry but I am not going to forgive you.”

From a young age, we are taught forgive and forget.

Just as nutritionally, our cells grow from what we consume, absorb the vitamins and detox the remainder. Emotionally, spiritually to grow we also need to have an experience, learn from the experience, and detox what is not good for us. Get rid of it. Let it go.

Imagine if the garbage did not get collected every 2 weeks. How much rotting stuff would accumulate? What would that do to the smell, and comfort of your home? What would that waste attract? Mice, rats, flies, creepie crawlies? If we do not take out the emotional refuse/garbage that stink, accumulates. It increases.
There is a Proverbs saying bitterness rots the bones. A bitter mindset affects our whole being. It rots the bones. We are energetic beings. Holding on to the hurts, pain, anger, feelings of betrayal locks us into a cycle of pain. When one harbours an emotional pain, it will become a physical pain. To heal a physical pain, forgive an emotional pain. Forgiving releases the grip the pain has on you.

Imagine the issue you have, with yourself or with someone else. Holding the grudge, the hurt, the anger, and below the anger, the fear hurts you. You cannot receive anything when you have a closed hand. By holding onto these issues, we close our hands, and we close our hearts. Eventually we poison our minds. To end this cycle, start at the high end. Start with an old mediation prayer from Hawaii.

This is the prayer called The Ho’oponopono . It translates to the correction. It can be said with eyes closed. Think of the transgression, the person or the situation. Repeat this phrase aloud 7 or 8 times.

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

I love you.

Thank you.

The remorse, forgiveness, gratitude and love will change the energy. Even if a person has passed away, or you are not speaking with them, say it. There is always 2 sides to every disagreement. Acknowledging our contribution, I am sorry. Ask for forgiveness. Release. Give forgiveness. Release. Love from the agape love, the humanity love, remembering we are love. Be thankful. Have gratitude for the lesson, the relationship, the past, the love.

It may take more than one time to release an old, imbedded hurt. Keep at it. When the hurt arises, say it again. This is for your well-being. Your heart health. Your body will be freer, or flexible. Your thoughts will be clear and without malice or angst. Your heart will be open. You will be able to receive. Watch for the changes. Expect the miracles.

If you need help with this, contact us. I have discovered that through Purebioenergy Healing Therapy many things I have encountered through life, I have been able to heal. To let go of the pain, worry, and bitterness that binds us.

This is a Big thing I had to forgive. When I was in my early 30’s, I was going to a local Fertility Clinic . I had met Dr. Daya through the clinic on Pine St. in Kitchener. He suggested to go to the MacMaster Clinic as it was superior to the clinic we had been attending. After many tests, (many which I had already done), he recommended a surgical procedure that was quite significant. Cutting and changing the uterus shape, called a Tompkins Metroplasty. I did not feel comfortable with this type of invasive procedure. It had a long 6 week recouperation period. I declined. He brought it back up at a meeting when my then husband( now ex) was present. My ex told me that I had to comply and get this surgery done. Even while awaiting the surgery, my intuition was screaming at me. Get up, leave , just walk away. I did have the surgery. It was shoddily completed with the students doing the final stitching up. There was damage to nerves, muscles were cut and not properly stitched. It created a ridge on my abdomen which has never flattened out.

A number of years later, I received a letter from MacMaster Hospital that an inquiry and lawsuit was in process, as this outdated surgical procedure by Dr. Daya had been done on women who did not even have the issue, the surgery was meant to correct. I was one of those 35 women who did not have anything wrong with my uterus. It was healthy. Dr. Daya committed medical fraud, damaging 189 women, some permanently disabled as a result. My physical body was damaged by him. My emotional body was affected resulting in a big lack of trust. There are many layers to this unnecessary trauma. The only thing I can do is to address how I feel, and think and act. I choose to heal. During a Purebioenergy Healing Therapy healing session many years later, Zoran, my mentor, asked me whether there was something that I was angry about. I didn’t think I was angry. Unrecognized anger can show up looking like depression. I am grateful to say I have healed from this. All of it. It no longer defines me in anyway. You can forgive and release carrying the burden of it.

What do you want to release, forgive and need to let go of?

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. (Mark Twain)

For the past week or more, I have been trying to write an article on lies. Lying and where do lies come from. I have been stuck in my writing process. I also have had severe back pain. I go to my first area of relief which is PureBioenergy Healing Therapy. The thing about PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is that it heals on all levels. This means the emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our being are addressed as well as the physical.

In this process of healing, I uncover a lie that I have been living. I chose to leave my “past life” as I call it in the past. I thought that if I don’t think about it anymore, it will not affect me. In some ways, this is true. I do not have the anxiety I experienced prior to leaving my ex-husband. I present outwardly as someone who can make decisions, albeit in a slower fashion than most. I have a quick wit and enjoy making people laugh.

I am a sensitive. One of those people who feels things deeply. When someone shares their story, I can truly empathize. The month of October holds some strong emotional ties for me. My first marriage was in October, my beautiful daughter was born in October. And the apple incident happened in October.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, there was a bright sunny Saturday morning. My then husband had gone out with his friends on a motorcycle ride which was often his Saturday and Sunday morning routine. My friend, Maryon had invited my daughter and myself to go with her and her daughters to an apple orchard to pick apples. My ex-husband knew we were going to the orchard.

It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. The girls enjoyed picking the apples off the shorter trees and finding ripe red ones on the ground. My daughter and I picked a full bushel of apples. I was excited to have them to eat fresh as a snack. I make a great apple pie, with my Mom’s pie crust recipe, and apple crisp was often a breakfast food in my house.

Maryon’s daughters were older than my daughter. They wanted us to join them at the Spooky Farm which was a farm with a haunted house exhibit and where one could buy pumpkins.

I had tried to phone my ex to let him know we would be out later than originally planned. I Knew this was important. He did not answer the call. I knew it was close to lunch time and I had not left him a suitable lunch. My daughter and I had eaten enough apples, so we were not hungry. We headed out with our friends to the Spooky Farm. I did not realize how far away from our home this Spooky Farm was, having never been there.

I had a feeling of dread as I realized the time was now much later than I had said I would be home. We stayed a very short time at the farm. My daughter was now starting to pick up on my anxiety. She was happy to leave the Spooky Farm. We drove home. As soon as I drove up the driveway, I knew we were in trouble.

My ex-husband was furious that I had not been home when he got home from his ride. He was swearing at us before we got into the house. He sent my daughter upstairs to her room.

I had carried the bushel of apples we had picked into the kitchen. In his rage, he proceeded to throw every apple from the bushel at me. I could not talk to him or stop the madness. I had round apple shaped bruises on my back, my legs, my arms for weeks afterward. The beautiful red apples we so carefully picked, were splattered all over the kitchen. Every single apple was thrown. Then he left. I cleaned up all the smashed apples. Those that were salvageable I made into apple sauce. Months later I would find bits of dried apple under the fridge.

I never went apple picking again.

The irony is that I was worried that someone might find out what had happened. That I had made my husband that angry. I did not want my daughter to tell her teacher or anyone what had happened. I did not tell anyone till years later in therapy.

I share this story now because the shame, fear, anxiety I had that day, I know is felt by another woman. I know my daughter carries the pain of that day.

We are not responsible for someone else’s misplaced anger. We did nothing wrong. We do not need to lie to cover the pain caused by another’s actions. It happened. It is true. It is sad. It is so sad that a beautiful, sunny fall day has such a blight on it. The smell of fresh picked apple is bittersweet to me.