FEAR
FFFFFF Ear
Yup I said it. This Thing that hovers around like a black entity waiting to pounce, or smother, or consume my confidence. I struggle with Fear.
I can call it lots of different names. Resistance, lack of initiative, my word of the week, procrastination.
What is it really? Fear of being judged, fear of being seen, fear of being authentic, fear that if people really knew what I felt, or thought, they would not Like me. Fear of being ostrasized or worse. Shame, humility, rejection, exclusion.
Fear permeates so many areas of our life. Walking outside in the dark, travelling to a new place alone, public speaking. Fear of heights, fear of water, fear of flying, fear of catching an illness, fear of getting old, fear of meeting people who are different, fear of people who are the same, complacency. There are all kinds of fears around money, not enough of it, how to keep it, how to increase it, fear of losing it.
Fear of loss, and fear of being alone have entire industries built around these fears.
There is nothing wrong with being afraid of something, someone or the unknown.
What is detrimental to us is to let the fear overrule the potential for joy.
My friend, Sue Crutcher often says that SCARED and SACRED are the same word with the letters changed around.
To change the letters around, we can change our thoughts around the Fear that holds us bound.
And when I say bound, I mean bound, tied up, restrained, restricted from being free. One of the physical aspects to intense fear and anxiety is constipation. Even your butt knows this is not good for you. Butt seriously, folks.
Fear takes a toll on the physical body. It causes so many ailments. Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life addresses many of the root causes of physical issues. Acne, eczema, back pain, fibromyalgia all stem from various fears. The beautiful thing is we can do something to alleviate it, dispel and free us from these fears.
First take stock. This past week I have been feeling a malaise. I woke up with headaches, my back and hips hurt. I have been fatigued but awake at night. I feel like something is irritating me.
I asked for Help.
I prayed about it. I spoke to my dear friend whose counsel I value. I realized I have been doing the Avoid Dance. When I am afraid of something, I AVOID IT. I find all kinds of things to do to NOT do the thing I should do. Yesterday at 2am, I was scrubbing the bathroom tiles, because I was awake and I was avoiding what I was supposed to be doing. I spend time in my head, thinking. Not doing.
This is the FREEZE response of the parasympathetic response system. We fight, we flee or we freeze.
Recognize what your own response to the Fear is. Do you fight? Get angry at your spouse, or children?
Do you fight or squash your own internal voice or intuition? Do you run away, move, quit?
It takes a bit of retrospection to understand our responses. This is where the growth or healing comes in.
The next step is to name the fear. Once we shine the light onto it, it will not seem so overwhelming.
One definition of Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. It may be that our perception of the beast is bigger than the beast is. Ever hear a noise a night, and imagine it is mouse, only to discover it is a tree branch scrapping against the eavestrough?
Say what it is that makes you feel afraid, or shameful, or resistant, or angry.
Face the fear. (NB IF you are in an abusive situation, Do not do this step alone. Go to a safe place and have informed people help you).
One of the fears we carry with us during the human experience is the fear of our full potential.
IF we could comprehend our full potential, we would be fearless.
You are a thought of God. You are creative, limitless, and free. You have the ability to love on a quantum level. That love is an inherent part of your DNA.
Fear causes us to restrict, pull in, shut down. Love expands, flows, enlightens and opens us to new opportunities and growth. There is no fear in love; Perfect love drives out all fear.
When we allow ourselves to feel that immense love, it frees us. Love gives us courage. It brings confidence. So, is perhaps fear just a lack of love? A love of others, a love of self, a love of life. Forgive yourself.
Imagine if your life was cloaked in love, what would you be less afraid to do?