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Emotional Safety Begins Within

Emotional Safety Begins Within: How Self-Talk Shapes Self-Confidence

Emotional safety does not begin in our relationships with others.
It begins within our heart and our mind.

It begins in the way we speak to ourselves.

Before we feel confident in the world, before we trust our decisions or feel anchored in who we are, our nervous system needs to feel safe. And that sense of safety is shaped, or quietly eroded, moment by moment by our inner dialogue.  Before we feel grounded in who we are, we need to feel emotionally safe inside our own minds. Self-talk is the constant conversation happening beneath our awareness. It interprets our experiences, narrates our mistakes, and quietly teaches our nervous system what to expect from life. When that inner voice is critical, dismissive, or dishonest, the body stays on alert. When it is kind, clear, and supportive, the body begins to settle.

Emotional safety and self-confidence are deeply connected. And one of the most powerful ways to strengthen both is by becoming intentional about how we communicate with ourselves.

Thoughts and the Central Nervous System

Every thought you think sends a signal through your central nervous system.

Critical or fear-based thoughts activate the sympathetic nervous system, the part responsible for fight, flight, or freeze or fawn. This can show up as anxiety, tension, irritability, racing thoughts, insomnia or emotional exhaustion. When the nervous system stays in this state for too long, self-confidence erodes. It becomes harder to trust yourself, make decisions, or feel grounded.

Supportive, honest thoughts activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the state of rest, regulation, and repair. This is where clarity lives. This is where intuition becomes accessible. This is where confidence can grow.

Your body does not distinguish between an external threat and an internal one. Harsh self-talk is experienced by the nervous system as danger.

That is why emotional safety begins with awareness.

1. Awareness: Noticing the Thoughts That Frequent Your Mind

You cannot change what you are not aware of.

Most self-talk runs automatically. Thoughts like:

I should be over this by now.

  • Why am I like this?
  • I’ll deal with it later.
  • I’m not doing enough.

These thoughts may feel factual, but they are often conditioned patterns shaped by past experiences, expectations, and survival strategies.

Awareness means gently noticing:

  • What thoughts repeat most often?
  • What emotional tone do they carry?
  • What happens in your body when they arise?

Do your shoulders tighten?
Does your breath become shallow?
Does your energy drop?

This awareness alone can begin to calm the nervous system. When you observe rather than react, you create a pause. And that pause is where emotional safety begins.

2. Curiosity: Where Did These Thoughts Come From?

Once you notice your self-talk, the next step is curiosity, not judgment.

Instead of asking, What’s wrong with me for thinking this?
Ask. Where did I learn this voice?

Many thought patterns originate from:

  • Childhood conditioning
  • Past relationships
  • Cultural or spiritual expectations
  • Times when honesty felt unsafe

That critical voice may have once protected you. It may have helped you avoid conflict, stay alert, or meet expectations. But what once supported survival may now be undermining confidence.

Curiosity signals safety to the nervous system. It shifts you out of self-attack and into self-understanding. When the body senses curiosity instead of criticism, it softens.

And a softened nervous system is more open to change.

3. Pausing to Listen: The Advantage of Calm and Clarity

You cannot hear your thoughts clearly when your nervous system is dysregulated.

When you’re anxious or overwhelmed, thoughts feel louder, faster, and more convincing. That’s why calming the body comes before changing the mind.

Pausing may look like:

  • Taking three slow breaths
  • Placing a hand on your chest or belly
  • Sitting quietly for 30 seconds
  • Squeeze and release your muscles

This pause activates the parasympathetic nervous system. As the body settles, clarity returns.

Clarity allows you to listen, not just to the thought itself, but to what’s underneath it. Often beneath self-criticism is fear, fatigue, or an unmet need.

When you become calm enough to listen, you move from reaction to response. And response is where your power lives.

4. Capturing the Thought: Creating Space and Choice

Once you are aware and calm enough to listen, the next step is to capture the thought.

Capturing a thought means naming it.

Instead of:
I’m failing.

You say:
I’m noticing the thought that I’m failing.

This simple shift creates space between you and the thought. You are no longer fused with it, you are observing it.

This matters deeply for the nervous system. It reminds your body that thoughts are not commands or truths they are experiences that can be examined.

Capturing thoughts restores agency. It gives you back choice.

5. Recognizing Your Power to Change Your Thoughts

Here is the truth many people were never taught:

You may not control the first thought that appears but you do have power over what happens next.

When you capture a thought, you can respond to it.

This is where self-confidence begins to rebuild.

Responding does not mean arguing with the thought or forcing positivity. It means offering yourself grace.

6. Replacing the Thought With Grace Toward Yourself

Graceful self-talk supports nervous system regulation. It communicates safety, patience, and support.

For example:

  • I should be stronger than this becomes
    This is hard, and I’m allowed to take my time.
  • I don’t trust myself becomes
    I’m rebuilding trust one choice at a time.
  • I’m failing becomes
    I’m learning, and learning takes courage.

Grace does not deny reality. It meets reality with compassion.

When your nervous system feels safe, your mind becomes more flexible. When your mind is flexible, confidence grows naturally.

How Emotional Safety Builds Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is not created by pushing harder or silencing doubt. It is built through repeated experiences of inner safety.

Each time you:

  • Notice a thought
  • Get curious about its origin
  • Pause to calm your body
  • Capture the thought
  • Respond with grace

You teach your nervous system a new message:
I am safe with myself.

Over time, this changes everything. How you make decisions, how you trust your intuition, how you relate to others, and how you move through the world.

A Gentle Reminder

Changing self-talk is not about perfection. It’s about orientation—turning toward yourself instead of away.

There will be days when the old voice is loud. That doesn’t mean you’re falling back. It means your nervous system is asking for care.

Emotional safety is the foundation upon which self-confidence is built. And emotional safety begins with how you speak to yourself.

You don’t need to become someone new.
Gently start to become kinder and clearer with the wonderful woman you already are.

If you would like support with a few methods to help you with this, Rose and I are here to be of assistance.   You can join our free webinar “Make Peace with Your Past”. Download the Belief Blossoms e-book and/or book a free Heartbreak Freedom Session to have someone who cares listen.  Every month we offer an Online PureBioenergy Healing Therapy to calm your mind, align your head and your heart, and balance your body.  You are not alone.

That is where healing and confidence begin.

Blog Posts Handling Life
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Boundaries – Protecting your Peace, Reclaiming your Power

A good fence makes great neighbours.

A boundary is an invisible fence that holds our values, security, insights, ideas, time.  The walls and doors of your house, keep your body and possessions safe. It prevents your stuff from spilling all over your yard. In the same way, your boundaries protect your mental health, your physical health and your emotional wellbeing. 

Why do you need boundaries? 

You need boundaries so you have control over what happens in your space.  Just like property lines. I can plant flowers or vegetables on my property but I can’t plant them in my neighbour’s yard, especially when they want a yard of manicured green grass. Your boundaries give you control over your space.  When someone trespasses on your space without your permission, it causes you pain.  And vice versa.  You control your space and take responsibility for that space. Your internal space is your thoughts, your talents, your emotions, your habits, your intuition, your spirit, your desires, your goals and dreams.  Each of these have a light side and a dark side to them.  It is important to take responsibility for all it, the light, and the dark.  Only you can control you.  Remember though, you can ask for help when you need it. You can offer help to another person.  They get to choose if they can help or if they want your help.  We cannot thrive in isolation. Often after a traumatic event, people withdraw and go inward, closing off their hearts, sitting in the dark, not wanting to trust or be with others.  I understand this response.  This can be a starting point. 

We are created for community.  You do, however get to choose the community.  A community that aligns with your values, and that values you. A boundary is not a wall that keeps others out. It is more like a fence, or a cell membrane, or a riverbank. It is permeable with you as the gate keeper. You get to decide who or what comes in, and who or what is not allowed in.  What would you like to have in your space?  What you value is worth protecting.  Your peace of mind is priceless. Your talents and gifts unique to you are needed in the world.  Give yourself permission to say yes to what aligns with you, and no to what does not. It is not selfish. It is self-respect.  When we start to respect ourselves, others will too.  If someone consistently disrespects, oversteps and ignores your boundaries, it is time to limit or end your relationship with this person. 

Here is a visual for you.  The hula hoop analogy. Imagine you have a hula hoop around you. You are holding it in place with your hands.  You can easily move within the hula hoop.  You can move your legs and travel with the hula hoop.  If others have their hula hoops in place, everyone can participate in the dance, with ease of space. Not banging into each other. Each having the freedom to function within their hoop.  Imagine now that your hula hoop is held by another person. It impedes your ability to move freely. If someone puts their hula hoop over you, without your permission or consent, it stops you from moving freely.  It is constricting and uncomfortable, especially if it continues for an extended period.  The hula hoops represent our boundaries.  We can tolerate letting someone influence us if it is for the common good, and usually for a set period, knowing there is a common goal to achieve.  If the time exceeds our expectations or if the goal is constantly changing, having our boundaries trampled on, leads to resentment. Boundaries are essential for well-being.

Being nice can often negate our boundaries.  I want people to like me therefore I may do things that may not be good for me in order to please them. I over give or let someone take advantage of my niceness.  Perhaps you over give your time or your talent, or don’t charge the going rate for your work.  Depleting yourself will eventually affect your physical and mental wellbeing and your wallet too.

Signs of Poor Boundaries.

There are specific symptoms that go along with struggling from poor boundaries.  Here is a list of some symptoms and the corresponding boundary issue.

Here are 5 health symptoms tied to weak or violated boundaries:

SymptomWhat It Means
Chronic Stress & AnxietyYour nervous system is overloaded from people-pleasing or overcommitting
Burnout & ExhaustionYou’re carrying emotional weight that isn’t yours
Resentment & IrritabilityYou say “yes” when you want to say “no”
Tension, Headaches, InsomniaThe body stores unspoken emotions
Low Self-Worth or Self-DoubtYou feel guilty for having needs

Many women think something is wrong with them, but truly, they are simply overextended, overwhelmed, and emotionally unprotected.

Boundaries extend to many parts of our lives.

Here’s 5 areas that you might consider reviewing.

Physical BoundariesYou choose how, when, and with whom you share physical space or touch.
Emotional Boundaries“I’m not available for conversations that are disrespectful.”
Time Boundaries“I can help, but I only have 30 minutes.”
Energetic BoundariesLimiting time with people who drain or criticize you.  Have you ever felt deep exhaustion after being with certain people? This needs a boundary.  Perhaps a quick phone call and not an in-person visit is warranted. Set a timer and end the call with a polite “I will let you go now, Have a great day.”
Digital Boundaries You don’t have to answer every message immediately. Posts that upset you, delete. Set a time limit to how long you will be on social media.  Don’t scroll before bedtime, it interferes with our ability to fall and stay asleep.

Here are some phrases you can use to help you establish and maintain your boundaries. You can be polite, but firm.

 Healthy boundaries sound like:

  • “No, I’m not able to do that today.”
  • “I need time to think before I commit.”
  • “I will not be spoken to that way.”
  • “That doesn’t feel right for me.”

Saying no is not selfish. It is a form of self-respect.
Remember: people who benefit from your lack of boundaries will be the ones who resist them most. There are those people who will not honour your boundaries. For your own health, you must separate yourself from them.

Here is an Example of a Healthy Boundary: “I won’t be available to talk after 9 PM. That’s my time to rest and recharge.”

This boundary is healthy because:

  • It clearly communicates a limit.
  • It takes responsibility for personal needs.
  • It is respectful, firm, and guilt-free.
  • It protects emotional and physical well-being.

   Each person needs their privacy, their own space to collect their thoughts, and to have a clean, quiet space.

Your boundaries and your values are woven together.  If you have a value of generosity, you may delight in assisting others, financially, with your time, or your talent.  Remember that even in giving, you need to receive. You also need discernment, so your generosity is not taken for granted. You do not want to feel pressured that you must give, even when you cannot.  This is your boundary. 

In nature, even the individual cells of our body have a boundary. It is the cell membrane on every cell in our body.   It protects our energy and our ability to renew it.  Our cell membrane lets nutrients in and removes waste. It also communicates with the other cells. If you believe you cannot set boundaries, remember that you have billions of them within you.   Draw strength from that creative source within you.   If you want some help with building your boundary fence, please reach out to Rose and I.  We have the tools to help you design and build your own uniquely landscaped soul space, with fences, and gates.

May your needs be honoured. May your peace be protected. And may you choose what is right and respectful for you.   

This poem came to me as I was walking along the river, contemplating this post.

The River.

The river hugs its riverbanks,

it holds them to the left and right.

The banks keep river in her flow

as she confidently knows where to go.

While rocks cause ripples, and speeds increase,

her riverbanks help keep the peace.

River knows her water stays intact,

she travels along without looking back.

Bubbling joyfully as she goes along

the birds sing with her, when her current is strong.

This river can meander at will, cause her riverbanks won’t overspill.

They give her the strength to know who she is, so she can give life to

all she encounters.

River hugs her riverbanks,

and thrives inside them with great Thanks.

Handling Life
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Stress, Distress, Eustress and You

As we go along this path called life, we may at some points find ourselves in situations, environments, relationships, or circumstances that we consider stressful.  These bumps along the road, which can, at times feel more like craters rather than just a pothole to avoid, impact us in many ways.    No human is immune to times of stress. Even Queen Elizabeth II had what she phrased as her “annus horribilis”.

”1992 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure. In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an annus horribilis”

 Stress is considered part of life.  But what exactly is stress?

Hans Selye, a pioneering endocrinologist, introduced the concept of “stress” in a medical context and developed the General Adaptation Syndrome model to describe the body’s response to stressors.

The physical, chemical, and biological responses in his theory of resistance or adaptation after an injury.  “Stress,” Selye insisted, “is essentially the rate of all the wear and tear caused by life.”1  Selye identified these stages as alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. Understanding these different responses and how they relate to each other may help you cope with stress. The Alarm stage is the immediate response to an event, imagine being cut off while driving in heavy traffic, your heart rate and breathing increase, you may swear, and feel tense. Once the danger passes your heart rate , breathing return to normal.  The fight-or-flight or freeze response that occurs in the alarm stage is for your protection. A higher hormone level of cortisone, or adrenaline is for your benefit. It provides you with energy and improves your concentration so you can focus and tackle the situation. When stress is short-term or short-lived, the alarm stage isn’t harmful.

Some stressful situations, like going through a divorce, or a high stress job continue for extended periods of time. If the stress is not resolved, your body remains on high alert, it eventually adapts and learns how to live with a higher stress level. In this stage, the body goes through changes that you may not be conscious of to cope with stress.

Your body continues to secrete the stress hormones and your blood pressure remains elevated. You may think you’re managing stress well, but your body’s physical response tells a different story. If the resistance stage continues for too long without the break needed to reset, restore and recover to offset the effects of stress, this can lead to the exhaustion stage.  Resistance stage includes irritability, frustration and poor concentration. Sleep is interrupted, not as deep, and does not get to the necessary stage of cell renewal.

The exhaustion stage is the result of prolonged, chronic stress.  Exhaustion stage happens when your physical, emotional and mental resources are drained to the point where you can no longer have the strength to fight stress. A little event may be what breaks the proverbial camels back.  Hopelessness, fatigue, burnout, depression and anxiety are indicators, of this stage.  Decreased stressed tolerance and decreased immunity also factor in.   The physical effects put you at risk for stress-related illness.

  When does stress become a problem?  What can we do to counter the effects of stress?

​  The specific ranking of life events by stress level, known as the Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS), was developed by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe in 1967. This scale assigns Life Change Units (LCUs) to various life events to quantify their stress impact. The top 10 stress-inducing life events according to the SRRS are:​

  1. Death of a spouse – 100 LCUs​
  2. Divorce – 73 LCUs​
  3. Marital separation – 65 LCUs​
  4. Imprisonment – 63 LCUs​
  5. Death of a close family member – 63 LCUs​
  6. Personal injury or illness – 53 LCUs​
  7. Marriage – 50 LCUs​
  8. Dismissal from work – 47 LCUs​
  9. Marital reconciliation – 45 LCUs​
  10. Retirement – 45 LCUs​

These events are considered significant stressors that may increase the risk of health issues. It’s important to note that individual responses to these events can vary, and personal coping mechanisms play a crucial role in managing stress. ​ Remember, this prognosis may not be true in all cases for all people. It depends on the individual. The belief system they have, the support they have, and the coping mechanisms they employ.  A marriage is happy occasion so why would it be on the list? A marriage brings with it change. Change is not a bad thing and is often a necessary requirement to advancement and growth. It is how we perceive change that creates either a resistance or enhancement response in us.  A wedding can be stressful due to the perceived obligations, we put upon ourselves. It can also be a joyous celebration of the love we share.  Eustress is a positive stress. It is performance enhancing, often a short-term experience where one has perceived control, and it improves well-being. Imagine studying for a big exam, or interview, excelling at it, and the confidence, joy and courage you receive because of your efforts.  The impetus, the push either from yourself or a coach, parent, mentor, advisor, trainer is needed to get you to do the work required to reach your full potential.  That is one of the reasons for deadlines.  Humans are motivated by either the pleasure of reward, or by the avoidance of the pain, disappointment, or penalty or embarrassment of not doing the ‘thing’.  The whole income tax system in this country is precipitated by this principle.  How many people find doing their tax return to be stressful?   It is the reward at the end of a challenge that we focus on.  This is true of so many projects, endeavors, goals we set. There may well be frustrations along the path to the goal.  Focus on the result. Jeff Kranos tell us that “Acute short-term stress in the human body confers a health benefit and activates pathways that promote longevity and resilience.”  Good Stress. To build muscle, the muscle fibres need to be worked beyond their current capacity. Then rest is required, nutrition to fuel the growth of the muscle before the muscle is ready to be worked again.  Good Stress.

 Distress on the other hand, decreases performance. It can come with emotional, physical, and mental symptoms including but not limited to, back pain, headaches, digestive issues, irritability, emotional outburst of anger, tears, sadness,  apathy, lack of self-care, vision issues, sleep disturbances, mood swings, and brain fog or lack of focus or feelings of overwhelm.  If we stay in Distress for too long, it can lead to more serious issues like depression, high blood pressure, adrenal, hormonal and heart concerns. Distress can lead to dis ease.  Distress doesn’t allow for the rest and recovery period.  Our minds, bodies and emotions need to have a rest period to renew, restore and grow.

The Good News is:  You have the keys to change the outcome.  Our beautiful brains have plasticity. Most our bodies cells renew daily. Your biofield contains the energy of life.  It gives you the energy to live well. Bioenergy, the energy of life, provides us with the energy, needed to live. When the bioenergy is gone, the body is life-less.  Bio means life.   So be good to your biofield. “The body is an energy system in constant energetic interaction with its environment.”  “Healing happens on a non-conscious level through a transformation of the way you think and act.” Z. Hochstatter.  Our thoughts create.  It is essential to watch your thoughts.

Here is a list of practical things you can do starting today to help balance your stress levels.

1: Identify whether you are stressed. Just because something is happening outside of you, does not mean you need to stress about it.  You can choose whether you want it to concern you or not.  2: Identify your stressor. Is it a physical environment, work environment,  personal relationship, your self-image? Are your thoughts destructive to your peace of mind?   Are you at battle with your values?

 3: Identify the reason for stressor. Can you change your location if it is too noisy, or the temperature is irritating?  Is it an internal or external stressor?  Are there steps you can take to change?  Now make a plan.  

 4: Identify and apply an appropriate stress management strategy.  You can make changes to how you are living. Sit down and write a list of what is bothering you.  Leave space to write in the answers/solutions to the concerns.  Make another list of how you would like your life to be.  Be specific.

Ask yourself what habits are detrimental to your well-being?  What are you doing to bring joy into your daily life?  Can you speak with a trusted friend, counsellor or therapist?

 DO some physical activity, preferably outside!  Walking for 25 minutes a day has been proven to lower blood pressure and improve the metabolic rate.  Look at your diet. Sugar is a killer. Sugar feeds cancer and disrupts hormones.  (  I like cake on special occasions too.  A delicious chocolate cake brings me joy. One of the things that make it special is that it is a special occasional treat, not a staple food:} I bless it and eat it.

Every month Rose and I offer a PureBioenergy Healing Therapy for Stress Reduction. We know that stress causes 80% or more of all illnesses. “The energy we work with is informed. It is creative. This means it has the power to create or recreate the well-being of the person. When this happens, it happens on all levels. It happens on the physical level, emotional level, mental level and spiritual level. “We don’t address the illness, we address the health.” Zoran Hochstatter – 3 Chairs.  Sign up for and attend the 4 day PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online.    Experience the change that happens when you start to be healthy, happy and joyful.  Private PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is available in person or by distance for specific issues or ailments as well. You can reach me at purebioenergy4life@gmail.com to set up an appointment.   The reason we offer a monthly PureBioenergy Healing Therapy Online is that it provides a consistent method to balance stress so  you do not get to the exhaustive stage.  Here is the link to be put on the mailing list for our monthly healing events.

2024 was a highly stressful year for me, and my family.  I give credit to God, prayer and PureBioenergy Healing Therapy which I asked for, paid for, and received the many benefits of mental, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am grateful for the friends that checked in, walked with me, and made me laugh along the way.  Stress can make us a stronger, resilient compassionate person.  We manage stress, so it does not control us.

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Watch What You Think

Why do we think the way we think? 

What has informed us? One element of being human is that we are consistently seeking new information.  We think that is knowledge.  The news, social media, libraries, the education systems all exist because of our desire to know.  Curiosity is a good thing.

Well, maybe not for cats.

Do we believe things just because we are told that those things are true? How many things throughout history that have been believed to be true are false?  They are so far from being true that in some ways we cannot fathom that people believed them.  For centuries, it was believed that women were less intelligent than men. It was believed that certain cultures or races were less intelligent than the race in power at the time.  It was believed that the earth was the centre of the universe.   These were presented as facts.  Yet these presumed facts are as far from the truth as can be.

History shows us that just thinking something is so, does not make it so.  

You have heard it said that your thoughts create your actions, your actions create your habits, and your habits create your life.   What are those thoughts that are creating your actions?  What is the recording that is playing in the background of our mind?  Where did those thoughts come from?  Are those thoughts true?

 It is worthwhile to examine those thoughts which we hold to be true. Joe Dispenza says to mediate is to become familiar with.  Are we even familiar with the thoughts that percolate though our mind?   As a mother, how often have we said to our children, usually when trying to correct behavior; “Now you sit there, and think about it”. Think about what? Without giving them guidance on how to address an issue or solve a problem, or change their perceived correct response, how can they be expected to think any differently?   Is this not true for ourselves?

In the book, A Course in Miracles, it states in one of the 365  lessons  “All my thoughts are past thoughts”.   Unless we are willing to introduce or imagine a new way of thinking, we are destined to repeat the same thoughts. Fortunately, this book does teach ways of changing our thought patterns.

The mind, the body and the spirit are not separate.  They are intertwined by a constant, cascade of intelligent energy.   There has been much research on how the state of this synchronized and harmonious activity between the heart, brain, and other physiological systems affect the body.  When the heart and brain are in coherence, it can have profound effects on both physical and emotional well-being.  When the heart and the brain are in a state of coherence levels of stress hormones, such a cortisol decrease, and the levels of neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine increase.  In other words, I feel good. I can think clearly. I am calm. My mind is creative. I can solve problems.  My relationship with myself and others improves.

This wholeness of heart, mind and spirit is wellness.  This energy informs our cells. It is the energy of life.  To heal is to make whole.  There is no separation of heart, mind or spirit.

Therefore, the thoughts do influence our heart.  And our heart influences our thoughts.

Something to think about.

Handling Life
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Coping With Chaos: A Guide for Wounded Women

How many times in the past few years have you wished you could unplug from the chaos surrounding you?

I remember thinking that I just wanted to get off the merry-go-round. I could not get a grip, a hold on anything. And I doubted everything.

When my wasband was having an affair, I knew it deep in my soul. Even though I knew it, I could not prove it. With no proof, I convinced myself that I was imagining it. But there was that niggling deep down that something was very wrong.

The thoughts that spun around in my mind were chaotic. I suffered. I suffered because I did not know what to believe, including myself. The questions assaulted me day and night. The how’s, the who’s, the what’s, the why’s. Even the question of “What did I do to cause this?”

The chaos leaked over from my mind into my life. At one point I felt completely immobilized. Then, the proof began to rise to the surface. I felt vindicated by the proof, but it did not quiet the chaos. A whole new onslaught of “stinking thinking” took over. I wanted off the merry-go-round and I wanted off NOW!

Chaos refers to a state of disorder, confusion, or unpredictability. It manifests in various forms, disrupting your sense of order and the stability that we look for.

For wounded women, emotional chaos is a prevalent aspect of our lives. This impact of trauma leads to a wide range of intense feelings such as fear, anxiety, anger, and deep sadness. These emotions can surface unexpectedly, contributing to our sense of internal turmoil.

Chaos can be triggered by unexpected events or reminders of past trauma. The unpredictable nature of these triggers adds an element of instability, making it challenging for you to predict and manage your emotional responses.

Chaos extends to all our relationships, with trust issues, difficulties in forming connections, and challenges in keeping healthy boundaries. The aftermath of trauma can affect the way wounded women engage with others, leading to interpersonal struggles and a sense of uncertainty in our social circles.

Wounded women grapple with the unknown, fearing what might come next. We have spent a lot of time trying to control the daily events of our lives, always predicting the worst-case scenario and planning what we would do when the bomb exploded. This uncertainty can further contribute to a sense of chaos in our lives, even when we are removed from the cause of our trauma. Do you feel unable to anticipate or control the challenges ahead?

Trauma shakes the foundations of our identity, leading to a profound loss of self. As wounded women we experience the sense of disconnection from who we once were, contributing to a state of existential chaos as we question our purpose, our values, and our place in the world.

Chaos is often cyclical, with one challenge leading to another. We may find ourselves caught in a loop of difficulties, each compounding the other. Breaking this cycle becomes crucial for restoring a sense of order and control.

Understanding the multifaceted nature of chaos is a crucial step in addressing and navigating the impact on our lives. By acknowledging and dissecting the different dimensions of chaos, we can begin to develop strategies for coping, healing, and reclaiming a sense of stability and purpose.

Within the chaos, there is the potential for healing and growth. The journey towards recovery involves navigating the complexities of trauma, facing challenges, and transforming pain into resilience. This dual nature highlights the absurd coexistence of chaos and potential renewal.

Acknowledging and harnessing this potential can empower you on your journey toward recovery. Let’s explore the ways which healing and growth can emerge amid chaos.

Imagine if you could build resilience as the cornerstone of your healing.

Chaos often unveils the natural resilience and strength within individuals. In navigating the complexities of our experiences, we discover an inner determination that allows us to face adversity head-on. This resilience becomes a cornerstone for our healing.

Each challenge inside the chaos offers us an opportunity to learn and grow. As we face difficulties we get new insights, skills, and perspectives. These lessons contribute to our personal development and resilience.

Think of a time when you said no when you usually would have said yes or maybe would have said nothing at all. These times showed you that the world did not fall apart when you took control of your thoughts, values and notions and stood up for yourself. This recognition shows you that you are strong.

How many times did you keep getting up and keep going, after hardship and misfortune? This shows that you are resilient.

The chaos following trauma prompts a deep exploration of our identity. Through introspection and self-discovery, we have the opportunity to redefine who we are. We get to shed old stories and embrace a more authentic sense of who we are. This process is fundamental to the healing journey.

The chaos of trauma often prompts existential questions. When we seek meaning and purpose, we embark on a journey of profound self-reflection. This quest for significance contributes to a sense of direction and clarity, fostering a deeper understanding of our life’s purpose.

Overcoming chaos nurtures a sense of empowerment. As we navigate and conquer challenges, we gain a newfound belief in our ability to overcome adversity. This empowerment becomes a catalyst for further growth.

Nothing causes the development of coping mechanisms more than chaos. In our quest for stability, we often discover healthy coping strategies. Strategies such as a mindfulness practice, creative outlets, or therapeutic interventions. These tools become essential for managing the impact of chaos.

Chaos tends to pull us into the hullabaloo of past traumas or anxieties about an uncertain future. Through mindfulness practices, wounded women can cultivate an awareness of the present moment. The benefit of mindfulness is the reduction of overwhelming emotions and the fostering of a sense of calm amid the chaos.

Healing is often helped through connections with others who understand and empathize. As wounded women we can find solace in support networks— with fellow survivors, friends, and family. Building and nurturing these connections becomes a source of emotional sustenance and shared strength.

Seeking professional help, with a focus on your outcome rather than a reminder of your past, can be a transformative step toward healing. Therapists provide guidance, tools, and a safe space for processing trauma, fostering growth, and facilitating the integration of coping mechanisms.

Chaos often involves significant change. Embracing change as a catalyst for personal transformation allows women to reshape their stories. This adaptability becomes a powerful force for positive change.

The potential for healing and growth during chaos lies in the resilience, self-discovery, empowerment, and connections that emerge through the journey of overcoming trauma. By recognizing and nurturing these aspects, wounded women can navigate the complexities of their experiences and move towards a future marked by strength, purpose, and renewed well-being. We believe that when a woman heals, the world is healed, one woman at a time.

Healing Practices
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Healing

Healing

To heal is to make whole.  To heal is to be happy.  Happiness and health go hand in hand.

When we are operating at our maximum potential we are happy, energetic, enthusiastic, and joyful.  We are a pleasure to be around, and we are social.  We like ourselves and others.

When illness, stress, worry, pain, anxiety and fear upset our biological balance.  We get cranky.

We complain, we have a difficult time to see the joy in the moment.  The items, activities, and people that would usually add  to our enjoyment, don’t.   Our thoughts turn to the lower energy frequencies of hopelessness, depression, anger and despair.  We want to rant, cry, bitch about something, anything, everything.    “I am not happy. I don’t feel good.  I am angry. I am disappointed.  I am despondent.  I am hurt.  My body hurts, my feelings hurt, my mind hurts.  I have no joy. No love, no fun, no goodness. Nothing good ever happens for me”

Peace to you my child. The goodness is always with you.  The peace resides within you.

There is a wonderful way to heal. It has been in existence since the beginning. It is pure.

Healing is a profound journey that extends beyond the conscious mind.  In reality, healing starts with the non-conscious.   It involves the creative energy that gives life to all living things.  The Latin word bios means life .

Zoran Hochstatter , expert, author, speaker, filmmaker, innovator in Biofield Therapy and the key educator behind Purebioenergy Training says, ” Bioenergy is the life sustaining force of the Universe.  There is no life without Bioenergy.”  

The information of health is contained within this bioenergy.  All forces of the universe, including human consciousness , are transformations of this cosmic energy.

Every living being has a biofield.  The biofield is the energetic, electro-magnetic essence of each living thing. It is  affected by the environment, our thoughts, and habits. The biofield communicates at the speed of light with every cell in our bodies.  The body is  self-healing.

Purebioenergy restores and balances bioenergetic information to activate the body’s own innate healing mechanisms.   Purebioenergy addresses the information/ frequency of Health , not illness.  Transmission of this information of Health, adjusts and balances the biofield to restore health on all the levels of the human existence – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

When a person is under stress, be it physical, mental or environmental, their immune system will break at its weakest point.   Cells become weak, misinformed, confused and do not function as they should.    

Information contained in this pure, coherent, all-knowing energy, helps reactivate the immune system to operate at its best.  The immune system spreads this performance-enhancing “information” to all the cells and enables the body to heal at source.  Bioenergy is intelligent and knows what the body needs.  This means it has the power to create or recreate well-being of the person.  It happens on the physical level, emotional level, the mental level and the spiritual level. ”  

Purebioenergy Healing Therapy is structured, precise and effective.

Healing happens when the whole is restored in it’s optimal state.  When your biofield is balanced, you are healthy and happy. Life flows through you.  Joy, confidence, peace, harmony fill you.  This journey may include a transformational shift in how one chooses to be in the world.   In so doing, you not only benefit yourself but the ripple effect of happy, healthy people will  be positive to all.   

Life is good.  

Blog Posts
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The Story before the Story… the Apple Incident

For the past week or more, I have been trying to write an article on lies. Lying and where do lies come from. I have been stuck in my writing process. I also have had severe back pain. I go to my first area of relief which is PureBioenergy Healing Therapy. The thing about PureBioenergy Healing Therapy is that it heals on all levels. This means the emotional, mental, and spiritual areas of our being are addressed as well as the physical.

In this process of healing, I uncover a lie that I have been living. I chose to leave my “past life” as I call it in the past. I thought that if I don’t think about it anymore, it will not affect me. In some ways, this is true. I do not have the anxiety I experienced prior to leaving my ex-husband. I present outwardly as someone who can make decisions, albeit in a slower fashion than most. I have a quick wit and enjoy making people laugh.

I am a sensitive. One of those people who feels things deeply. When someone shares their story, I can truly empathize. The month of October holds some strong emotional ties for me. My first marriage was in October, my beautiful daughter was born in October. And the apple incident happened in October.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, there was a bright sunny Saturday morning. My then husband had gone out with his friends on a motorcycle ride which was often his Saturday and Sunday morning routine. My friend, Maryon had invited my daughter and myself to go with her and her daughters to an apple orchard to pick apples. My ex-husband knew we were going to the orchard.

It was a beautiful, warm sunny day. The girls enjoyed picking the apples off the shorter trees and finding ripe red ones on the ground. My daughter and I picked a full bushel of apples. I was excited to have them to eat fresh as a snack. I make a great apple pie, with my Mom’s pie crust recipe, and apple crisp was often a breakfast food in my house.

Maryon’s daughters were older than my daughter. They wanted us to join them at the Spooky Farm which was a farm with a haunted house exhibit and where one could buy pumpkins.

I had tried to phone my ex to let him know we would be out later than originally planned. I Knew this was important. He did not answer the call. I knew it was close to lunch time and I had not left him a suitable lunch. My daughter and I had eaten enough apples, so we were not hungry. We headed out with our friends to the Spooky Farm. I did not realize how far away from our home this Spooky Farm was, having never been there.

I had a feeling of dread as I realized the time was now much later than I had said I would be home. We stayed a very short time at the farm. My daughter was now starting to pick up on my anxiety. She was happy to leave the Spooky Farm. We drove home. As soon as I drove up the driveway, I knew we were in trouble.

My ex-husband was furious that I had not been home when he got home from his ride. He was swearing at us before we got into the house. He sent my daughter upstairs to her room.

I had carried the bushel of apples we had picked into the kitchen. In his rage, he proceeded to throw every apple from the bushel at me. I could not talk to him or stop the madness. I had round apple shaped bruises on my back, my legs, my arms for weeks afterward. The beautiful red apples we so carefully picked, were splattered all over the kitchen. Every single apple was thrown. Then he left. I cleaned up all the smashed apples. Those that were salvageable I made into apple sauce. Months later I would find bits of dried apple under the fridge.

I never went apple picking again.

The irony is that I was worried that someone might find out what had happened. That I had made my husband that angry. I did not want my daughter to tell her teacher or anyone what had happened. I did not tell anyone till years later in therapy.

I share this story now because the shame, fear, anxiety I had that day, I know is felt by another woman. I know my daughter carries the pain of that day.


We are not responsible for someone else’s misplaced anger. We did nothing wrong. We do not need to lie to cover the pain caused by another’s actions. It happened. It is true. It is sad. It is so sad that a beautiful, sunny fall day has such a blight on it. The smell of fresh picked apple is bittersweet to me.