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healing journey

healing journey

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The First Step to Change: Believing It’s Possible for You

She stood in front of the mirror, toothbrush still in hand, staring at the same woman who had gotten up every day, done the hard things, kept the peace, kept the schedule, kept herself small.

Maggie didn’t recognize herself anymore. Not really.

The lines around her eyes weren’t just age. They were tiredness. Worn edges. And something else she couldn’t name.

It wasn’t that her world had just suddenly fallen apart.

No, the unraveling had been slow; one broken promise at a time.

One more time she didn’t speak up.

One more birthday she planned for everyone else and no one remembered hers.

And now?

Now she stood at the edge. Not of a cliff exactly but of something she couldn’t see the bottom of.

Becoming herself. Finally.

But where would she even begin?

When the World Quietly Unravels

Maybe you see a bit of yourself in Maggie.

Maybe your “falling apart” wasn’t loud or dramatic. Maybe it was quiet, made of tiny betrayals; some from others, some from yourself, stacked up over years.

Maybe you’ve been functioning like a pro but feeling like a ghost.

If that’s you, I want you to hear this, gently but clearly:

It’s okay to not know where to start.

But it’s not okay to believe that you’re stuck forever.

Because you’re not.

No one talks about how heavy it is to even think about changing your life when you’re already exhausted from surviving it.

The Unseen Weight

You’ve probably said things to yourself like the following. And sadly, you’re not alone:

“I should be grateful…”
“It’s too late to change.”
“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

These thoughts don’t make you weak. They make you human.

They are very common for women who’ve experienced trauma, especially the quiet, eroding kind that happens over time: emotional neglect, staying in the background, over-giving, never being seen.

So, if you’re overwhelmed and doubting your ability to change anything at all, it makes perfect sense.

After all, you’ve been doing your best just to survive.

That’s not a moral failure. That’s your nervous system doing its job.

But survival isn’t where your story ends.

A Whisper You Can Trust

There’s a sacred moment, a quiet one that shows up for every woman on the edge.

It doesn’t come with trumpets or fireworks.
It’s not dramatic.
It’s often just a whisper.

It sounds something like this:


“There has to be more than this.”

Not louder. Just clearer.

That whisper? In truth, that’s your deeper self—your knowing self.

That whisper? It’s your deeper self—the one who still believes in you. The woman who remembers what she loves is still inside. She’s just waiting for you to turn toward her again.

Not the tired one. Not the doubting one. But the knowing one. The woman who still exists under all the rubble. She’s still in there. She just needs you to come find her.

And I promise you; she’s worth the search.

The First Step Is Not What You Think

Let me lovingly bust a myth here:

The first step is not “having a plan.”

It’s not overhauling your whole life.
It’s not deciding overnight who you are or where you’re going.

The first step is simply choosing to believe that change is possible. Even if you don’t yet believe it for yourself.

Even if the belief is just a flicker.

Even if you’re still scared. Especially if you are.

What Courage Really Looks Like

When Judy and I talk about “courageous confidence,” we’re not talking about strutting into a new life with fireworks and lipstick and a five-point plan.

We’re talking about courage that looks like:

Getting out of bed and drinking water when you wanted to disappear.

Saying “no” to something you always said yes to, just to keep the peace.

Letting yourself want something again, even though you’ve been told you shouldn’t.

Courageous Confidence isn’t a personality trait.

It’s a muscle.
And we build it together.

This is exactly why we created the Courageous Confidence course—for women just like you. Not the ones who are already thriving and confident, but the ones on the edge—where you are right now. The ones who feel the whisper but don’t know what to do next.

You don’t have to do it alone. And you don’t have to figure everything out before you begin.

You’re Not the Only One

Let me tell you something we hear all the time in our women’s groups:

“I thought I was the only one who felt this way.”

But you’re not.

There are so many of us women who have given so much to everyone else for so long, we forgot what it meant to receive. To rest. To heal. To become again.

A Safe Place to Begin Again

That’s why we’re inviting you to join us for the Rooted Resilient Radiant Weekend Retreat September 12 to 14. It’s not a self-help seminar. It’s not a conference. It’s a gentle pause, a chance to step away from the noise, the “shoulds,” and the weight of pretending you’re okay.

It’s a space to be held, seen, and reminded of your wholeness.

And you don’t have to arrive already healed. You just have to arrive.

Saying Yes to Yourself Changes Everything

Here’s what happens when a woman — any woman — says,

“I’m willing to see what else is possible.”

She may not move mountains that day.

But she begins.

And that beginning? It changes everything.

In our Courageous Confidence to an Empowered Life 5 Day Journey, we walk with you through that beginning. We help you reconnect with the values that truly matter to you, shift the beliefs that are keeping you small, and choose what you want your life to look like now, not someday.

This isn’t fluff. It’s real work. But it’s heart-centered, woman-honoring, and completely do-able with support.

You don’t need to know what’s next. Instead, just stay curious about what’s possible.
What matters is that you feel something pulling you toward change.
And no, it’s not too late.

And if that’s you? You’re ready.

You Are Not Broken. You Are Becoming.

Please hear this:

You’re not too old.
Not too late.
Not too far gone.

You are becoming.

And yes, it’s scary. But it’s also beautiful. And Judy and I are hereto walk with you, to believe in you until your belief in yourself takes root.

Two Small Steps Toward Something Beautiful

Single sprouting seed

You don’t need to leap. Just step.

  1. Check out the Rooted Resilient Radiant Retreat happening this September. Even if it’s just to read the details and imagine yourself there. That spark? It matters.

  2. Book a Courageous Confidence Breakthrough Session. It’s a one-on-one chat with someone who’s been where you are. No pressure. No expectations. Just a loving conversation to explore what’s next for you.
    Book Here

If you’re not quite ready to reach out but want to keep exploring, that’s okay too. You might enjoy our reflection on the power of inner language—Watch What You Think—a reminder that your thoughts shape more than you know.

You’ve survived so much already.

You’ve survived so much already. Now, it’s time to build something new—not alone, but together.

Because you deserve a life that feels like yours again.
And it starts… exactly where you are.

If this post spoke to something deep in you, you’re not alone. We invite you to browse our Wounded Women Rising blog—each post is written with women like you in mind: tender-hearted, resilient, and on the edge of something new.

Personal Practices
Featured

Eyes on Healing: How Concentrated Focus Ignites the Path to Recovery

I have been having recurring thoughts on the subject of focus. It keeps coming up, multiple times a day. At first, I didn’t pay much attention, however, it kept coming up. I started paying attention. As a result, I have been doing some research on the subject of focus and the role it plays in the healing process. Each year I choose one word, one aspect of my own healing process to focus on. Because of the recurring thoughts and my research, this year my word is FOCUS.

I left my first marriage after years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse. Those first few years were very difficult. I spent a lot of time focusing on the injustices, the abuse against me, my fears, and the pain of my emotions. Every time I focused on the abuse and the battles, I suffered. I spent a lot of years suffering. I spent a lot of years confused and lost. I was one of the walking wounded.

It wasn’t until I began to focus on myself, discovering my strengths, desires and dreams that I stopped suffering. I began to live, all because my focus had changed.

Tony Robbins and other thought leaders often quote, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” We can all find the bad things in life; however, we can also find the good. We get to choose what we focus on. Do you want to focus on all that happened to you or do you want to focus on learning to thrive in spite of the trauma you’ve experienced?  We all have the ability to live a happy life. Focusing on what is good about you is a valuable place to start.

Elliott Connie, author of “The Solution Focused Brief Therapy Diamond” says that when a client focuses on the problem, the trauma, or the reason they reached out to him, they continue to suffer. There is no value in continuing to suffer. There is value in focusing on your best outcome, not a goal, but the outcome. What difference will your outcome make to your life?

Trauma often disrupts a person’s mental and emotional well-being, leading to feelings of confusion, anxiety, and a scattered mind. Focus, in the context of trauma healing is the intentional and concentrated attention directed towards the process of recovery. Focus involves mindfulness, defining your ideal outcomes, and the active reduction of distractions to create a conducive environment for healing.

Focus involves recognizing and nurturing the connection between the mind and body. Focus is about acknowledging the physical and emotional aspects of trauma and directing attention to activities or practices that promote holistic healing.

Distractions often hinder the healing process. We can become experts on personal distraction. Focusing on trauma healing means actively working to reduce and manage external and internal distractions. Any distraction can derail progress. A new relationship can derail your healing in a very big way. Focus also means maintaining a sense of presence and awareness even when facing challenges or triggers. It’s the ability to navigate difficult moments with a clear and intentional mindset.

Setting clear intentions is a key component of focus in trauma healing. This involves visualizing the desired outcome of the healing process and actively working towards that vision.

There is a definite mind-body connection connected to trauma. Focused attention on the mind-body connection is crucial to the healing process. Mindfulness practices are linked to reduced stress levels. When you concentrate on the present moment, it helps alleviate the physical and psychological impacts of stress, promoting a sense of calm. Focused attention fosters a strong mind-body connection. This connection empowers you to actively take part in your healing process, recognizing the interplay between emotional experiences and physical sensations.

Focused attention allows you to see and understand your emotions without judgment. Self-awareness is a key part of emotional regulation. Self-awareness enables you to respond to your feelings in a more controlled and constructive manner. You gain control over your emotions once again. What felt out of control is now manageable. Awareness is the key.

Focused attention encourages self-compassion by allowing you to approach your thoughts and emotions with kindness and understanding. This shift in perspective contributes to a more positive and nurturing relationship with yourself. The regular practice of focused attention techniques contributes to the development of resilience. Resilience equips you with tools to navigate challenges, bounce back from adversity, and cultivate a positive outlook on your healing journey. With focused attention your emotional well-being improves.  Emotional well-being can positively affect your social interactions. You may find yourself better equipped to connect with others, express your needs, and build supportive relationships.

Trauma often disrupts sleep patterns. Focused attention, especially in relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation, contribute to improved sleep quality. Healing techniques such as Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy, that heal the body, mind and emotions are excellent therapies for better sleep patterns. Better sleep supports overall physical and emotional well-being. You can connect with Judy Johnston to book your Pure Bioenergy Healing Therapy session.

Have you tried mindful breathing? Let us take one minute to engage in a mindful breathing exercise. When you do a mindful breathing exercise throughout your day you are focusing your attention on one thing. This calms your nervous system, any anxiety or angst, and teaches you how to focus on one thing and only one thing. I am providing a one-minute video with beautiful music to get you started.

WATCH AND LISTEN

Another mindfulness exercise you can do is a body scan meditation. In a body scan meditation, you pay attention to each part of your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head. Notice any sensations without judgment. This practice enhances body awareness and can help release tension. This is a 5-minute body scan meditation for you to try.

LAY DOWN AND LISTEN

If you like to walk, try mindful walking. Pay attention to the sensation of each step, the movement of your body, and the surrounding environment. Walking mindfully can help anchor you in the present moment. One of my loves is to mindfully walk through the bush, taking in the smells, the sights, the sounds, the feeling of the earth beneath my feet and the fresh air. Bookmark this meditation or download it to your phone, put on a pair of headphones and your comfortable walking shoes and head outside for a walk.

WALK AND LISTEN

Incorporate mindful movement practices into your routine. Activities like yoga, Tai Chi, or Qigong combine physical movement with breath awareness, promoting relaxation and flexibility.

YOGA FOR ANXIETY AND STRESS

TAI CHI

QIGONG

Cultivate a daily gratitude practice. Take a few moments each day to reflect on things you are grateful for. This practice shifts your focus towards the positive aspects of life, fostering a sense of appreciation. Journaling gratitude with a mindful approach involves seeing your day, your thoughts, and your emotions without judgment. Write down what you are grateful for. Take it a step further and write about your daily experiences, any aspirations you may have, and insights gained during the healing journey.

Be mindful and intentional about your use of technology. Take breaks from screens. Practice digital detoxification. Be mindful of the content you consume. Resist the urge to scroll mindlessly. At night, keep your phone in another room. If you use your phone as your alarm, set your phone on the other side of the room, out of reach or in the bathroom. Set the volume louder. You will hear it. You also have to get up to turn it off. Mindful technology use supports a healthier relationship with the digital world.

Remember that consistency is key when incorporating mindfulness practices into daily life. Start with small steps, gradually increasing the duration and variety of practices as they become integrated into your routine. The goal is to make mindfulness a natural part of your day, supplying ongoing support for your healing journey. These are just a few methods of mindfulness practices. Pick one to start. If you don’t like it move on to something else. This is your mindful practice. Make it as unique and beautiful as you are.

Focused healing requires concentrating on specific outcomes related to your recovery. This could involve setting intentions, naming areas that need attention, and working towards achieving milestones in your healing journey. This could include visualizing the life you want to have. Write down your dreams and desires. Do not judge what you write down. Do not try to figure out how you will achieve your dreams and desires. This practice is to develop your sense of self and open your heart up to possibilities. Keep your dreams and desires to yourself – at least for now. You do not want others to poop on your ideas. This is your healing journey. No one has any input into this journey but you. Judy and I are here to give you ideas and options. You decide how you want your healing journey to evolve.

In the tapestry of trauma healing, focus emerges as the guiding thread, weaving through the intricate patterns of recovery. Like a steady compass, intentional attention directs you towards the core of their healing journey, illuminating the path with clarity and purpose.

In the realm of mindfulness, the power of focused awareness becomes a transformative force, untangling the knots of emotional turmoil and grounding the mind in the present moment. Through practices that nurture this focus—be it mindful breathing, body scan meditations, or the intentional cultivation of gratitude—you not only control your healing but you also forge a profound connection between the realms of the physical and the emotional. With each deliberate breath, every step taken mindfully, and the conscious choice to navigate distractions, the importance of focus manifests as a catalyst for resilience and self-discovery. It is in this focused embrace of the present that the healing journey transcends mere recovery, evolving into a profound awakening where you confidently rediscover your essence and reclaim ownership of your narrative.

Emotions
Featured

YOU’VE GOT THE POWER

Believe it or not, you have power. For those of us who have experienced traumatic events we may believe we have no power, no choices, no say. I grew up in an era when women had very little power. Our roles were defined by the men in our lives, dads, bosses or husbands. I was told and shown that my thoughts did not matter. I was to do what my husband said, even if it meant it was dangerous, harmful, painful, or just plain wrong. When it did become dangerous and painful, I was told by other men to go back to my husband, the person who inflicted the pain and almost killed me. I honestly believed I had no power. I was smart enough, however, to not go back.

Some of us gave our power away because we believed life would be simpler if we did. Life would be less chaotic, less painful. In hindsight the opposite was true. When a woman gives away her power it leads to many circumstances that seriously damage her life.

At Wounded Women Rising, the identity crisis a woman experiences after trauma is eliminated as her body heals, her emotions calmed and her mind released so she confidently knows who she is and what she wants. This confidence is your personal POWER. Think of it as—your SUPERPOWER. Regaining a sense of power and control after trauma significantly boosts self-confidence. As you become more empowered, you are better equipped to make choices that align with your values and desires, ultimately increasing your self-esteem.

Personal power equips you with the ability to advocate for yourself. This is particularly important when it comes to seeking help, setting boundaries, and making decisions about your own healing journey. Trauma often leads to an identity crisis, where a woman loses a sense of who she is. Addressing power can help a woman rediscover her identity and develop a more authentic self, free from the constraints of the trauma. And isn’t that one of our definitive goals, to be free from the constraints of the trauma?

Dr. Gabor Maté offers insight on trauma. He says, “Trauma is not the bad things that happened to you; trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.” Trauma is a deeply impactful experience that affects the lives of women on multiple levels, including emotionally, physically, and psychologically. Dr. Gabor Maté’s quotes emphasize the idea that trauma is not just about the external events but also the internal responses and effects it has on an individual’s well-being. Trauma leaves us with intense and overwhelming emotions. Flashbacks and intrusive memories often invade our lives. Some women feel disconnected from their bodies, thoughts and emotions, which is a protective response to the trauma.

The stress response of a traumatized woman can manifest itself as physical symptoms, such as headaches, stomach-aches, muscle tension, and even chronic pain. Prolonged release of the stress hormone cortisol has long term adverse effects on the human body. Mental health challenges arise from traumatic experiences such as anxiety and depression and even suicide or thoughts of suicide. The erosion of trust  of yourself, and others, can destruct a woman’s relationships. This can lead to isolation which further erodes mental health.

Dr. Gabor Maté’s work emphasizes the importance of compassion, self-awareness, and self-discovery in the healing journey. Women can find empowerment and a renewed sense of self through the healing stages as they work through the impacts of trauma and move toward greater well-being.

Self-awareness allows the individual woman to explore and understand what is happening inside her, helping her regain power over her thoughts, emotions, and responses to trauma. Self-awareness is a crucial tool on the path to healing and empowerment. Self-awareness put you in touch with your personal power.

Self-discovery takes courage. A woman must be willing to look at herself and see who she is – who she really is. Self-discovery means ceasing to allow others to define her. Self-discovery is a deeply personal and individual process. Delving into the journey of discovery a woman gains a deep understanding of her beliefs, values, strengths, weaknesses, desires, and identity. It involves introspection, reflection, and exploration of thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

At Wounded Women Rising we walk with you on the journey of self-awareness and self-discovery through community, retreats, blog post education, workshops, healing events, interactive talks, podcasts (coming soon) and online support groups (coming soon). We walk with you because we too have experienced and are on the healing journey from trauma. We know you can regain your power. You can take control of your life and love yourself. We have seen firsthand the remarkable recoveries of women who had the courage to look within to find their power and use power in their life, every day.

So far, we know what to do, but how do you do that? How do you develop self-awareness? First you must be willing to become aware of your responses to what is happening in you and through you. This means taking some time to think about past events and how you responded during the event and after the event.

For instance, my wasband believed that an evil spirit possessed me. He believed that if the evil spirit that had invaded me was eliminated, he could go back to a perfect life. He took it upon himself to exorcise that beast from me. This was no where near as elaborate as the depiction in The Exorcist. He grabbed me by the shoulders and started praying. I had no idea what was going on at first. In a very short amount of time, he was digging his fingers into my shoulders and shaking me. I got scared and then I got mad. I broke free from his grip using a move I learned during a self defense class. Lord only knows how I remembered that move at that time. I left the house within minutes shaking and in disbelief. I checked into a hotel and sat with this event during the next 24 hours. I became aware of the events and how I responded to them, but not just physically but more importantly emotionally. I cycled through emotions such as guilt (because I left and did not “work through the conflict”), and anger (there was a lot of anger).

I thought I was going crazy. How could this man who said he loved me believe I was possessed by an evil spirit? Could he possibly be right? My abused woman psyche was to take the blame on myself. Absurd, yes, but so predictable. As I sat with the emotions and the event, I realized I had no reason to feel guilty. I realized I had good reason to be angry. I realized that I could no longer trust my wasband to protect me, care for me or even care about me. This was one event in a series of many before I valued myself over the marriage. Sitting with the facts and the emotions and working my way through them I gained power. I gained personal power, and self-confidence. I did what was right for me in the best way I knew how.

There are many circumstances and events to think about. You do not have to rehash everything. There are events that were pivotal to you deciding that you are valuable. These are the ones you want to sit with. Become aware of the emotions. Allow them. Do not judge them. Allow them. They are yours and you felt them for a reason. There is message in there for you to discover. Discovering the message will give you power. Your heart knows. Your spirit knows. Your soul knows. It is time for your mind to know. Your power is in you, within you. Your power may be hidden but it is there. This is your period of discovery. This is the place where you gain a deep understanding of your beliefs, your values, your strengths, your weaknesses, your desires, and your identity.

You are able to wake up to the moment. The past cannot hurt you. The thoughts and the emotions you give the past can continue to hurt you, but not the event. The future does not need to be feared. The future can be whatever you want it to be.

Live in the moment. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings in this moment, in this day, at this time. What triggers your emotions? What is going on that makes you anxious? What is it that is scaring you? Become aware.

Do not push anything away. Do not stuff the emotions down. Do not get busy so you do not have to think about it. Respect yourself enough to take a few minutes.  Try to get some place alone so you can think. This process does not have to take hours. This process is usually minutes. Think. Answer the questions that rise up in your mind. Do not judge the questions or the answers. Your truth bubbles up in your awareness.

Once you develop awareness the process of acknowledging your emotions becomes easier and easier. Do not worry if you do not get answers right away. You have entered this information into your subconscious. Permit your subconscious to work it through. The answer on how to proceed or adjust or to let it go will be given to you. Learn to trust that you have the answers within you. You already possess the power to get the answers. Adopt the belief that you possess the power. Say it over and over and over again until it becomes part of your DNA. This IS your truth. You are confident. You are powerful. You are a beautiful woman ready to stand on her own and believe in her value and in her worth.

You have the power!