Christmas - Wounded Women Rising

Joy, Joy, Joy, unending Joy.

In this season, we hear a lot about joy. It is in the Christmas songs on playlists, Joy to the World rings out as we negotiate a parking space at the mall. We see the word lit up in lights among the decorations. We are reminded to be joyful by advertisements for alcohol, diamond jewellery, or perfumes. But what is Joy?

Joy supersedes happiness. Happiness is an emotion that can come or go depending on the circumstances surrounding us. It is a good, positive emotion that makes us, well, happy. Joy is deeper, more profound. Joy is a state of being. Joy holds a higher resonance. It embraces a deep delight, gladness, a sense of well-being, a sense of spiritual wellness. Joy is like a deep well that sustains us even in times of trial or drought. Happiness may happen to us. Joy is within us. Jesus tells us to “Ask, and you will receive so that your joy will be complete” JN16.24

Joy can be described as bubbling up, like an eternal spring that exists within our hearts.

I did a quick survey before I wrote this article, and asked people. “What brings you joy?”

These are the answers that I received from different people. Interestingly, many people gave the same answers.

Playing with my grand children, watching children play, listening to children speak or sing.

Listening to music, singing, dancing. Music lifts our mood. Singing a song out loud, really loud. Playing the piano. Playing my drums. Dancing in the kitchen while I make dinner.

Playing with or watching my dog. Petting our cat.

Holding my new baby.

Playing a game with others. Spending time with my friends. Having a deep heart-felt conversation. Getting something accomplished, especially if I had been putting it off.

Sewing. Throwing clay to make pots or mugs. Swimming in the sea. Painting.

Baking a pie, cake, or cookies, and chocolates and gifting them to my friends and family.

The smell of orange, or cinnamon…invokes a memory of baking with my Mom.

Walking in the snow. Walking on the beach. Watching and listening to the birds outside.

Just being with my loved ones. Smiling at people. Saying Thank you. Listening to my spouse. Surprising my child with a gift or an outing.

Read the list again and see what you notice. Most of the joy moments came from being with others, doing for others, or being in nature or feeling close to God. Not one person I interviewed said their joy came from a diamond necklace or a new car or a bottle of Scotch.

The other element I noticed was that so many found joy in giving to others. One person volunteers every year with a charity that provides meals and gifts for people. She said it was the highlight of her Christmas season. Joy comes from a sense of purpose, rooted in relationship with self, God and others. That is what Jesus was talking about.

There used to be a slogan for the Red Cross, saying ‘Blood, it’s in you to Give”. Isn’t it true that joy is also in us to give. In fact the more we give of it, the more we get back. Remembering that joy is deeper than a passing emotion, it is an essential part of you. It exists within you. It is not something to be strived for, it is already there. As you become attuned to resonance of joy, you will see and feel and choose it.

Take some time today or over the next few weeks and uncover, experience and elevate your joy.

Sometimes, I dare say, even often, our joy gets covered over. We may perceive that we are too busy, too stressed, to oppressed, to obsessed, to distracted, too confused, too abused, too sad or lonely to uncover and hold our joy. Those are lies. The truth is your joy never leaves you. It waits patiently for you to remember and come back to it. Your spirit holds it there like a candle lighting your way in the darkness. Joy, Joy, unceasing Joy.

Come in from the cold. Come to the light that waits for you. Pause, breathe.

Remember how loved you are. You are love. Created in the image of love. The eternal love that is never extinguished. Your spirit knows. Rest. Ask and receive.

May joy be with you, within you, and through you. May you sing out loud and let joy fill you with that glorious, magnificent resonance. May the soft stillness of snow falling, or of a sunrise bring a smile to your face and a glow to your being. May peace, joy and love live within you. May your joy increase, and your wonder never cease. May God blessings surround and sustain you.

As we come to the close of the year, and the change to a new season, let’s pause and consider some elements we can incorporate to make the next year of our lives better.

Stress, as Rose shared in the last post affects all of us. When kept in check, it can be a great motivator. A deadline is a good thing. Without a deadline or a finish by date, many projects may go uncompleted.

Here in the Northern Hemisphere the seasons also motivate us to get things completed. When working with nature, spring is the time to plant. Summer sunshine creates the growth, and fall is the time to harvest the crop. As winter approaches, we prepare for the cold temperatures and barren earth, a time to rest.

Traditionally the Christmas Season consisted of Advent, the 4 weeks of spiritual and physical preparation, for Christmas Day and the 12 days til January 6^th. Bringing light into the home with Christmas lights during the darkest time of the year is lovely and can be one of the nicest elements of Christmas. Putting up the Christmas lights and seeing them glow into to the night is truly a delight. It was highly ranked on our recent poll.

The food planning, cooking, baking, cleaning, and decorating is fun, albeit time consuming. The bulk of the preparation of shopping, gift wrapping, card writing, meal planning, cookie making, cleaning, decorating, party planning still falls primarily to the women of the home. The bustle of it can be fun and invigorating. Keeping the balance of it all from toppling us like a Jenga tower is the trick.

Christmas decorations in stores and that commercial push to purchase starts in October. Even our email in box is subject to ads. This can exert pressure on us. Sometimes by the time December 25^th arrives, the feeling of overwhelm is so big the joy gets squashed like the sweet potatoes. When we add in crowded grocery stores, unstable weather, unstable personalities, and over-sugared, tired tiny tots, it is easy to understand how some people can feel more like the Grinch, than little Cindy Lou Who. (Fah-who foris, dah-who doris, Welcome Christmas, Christmas Day)

As we gather together with family and friends to celebrate, laugh, and love the time we share, here are a few timely tips to make the season bright.

One way to offset that feeling of overwhelm is to focus only on what matters to you. Make a list. A list of what matters to YOU. Write your list, check it twice. Sharing with a friend is nice.

Choose what items matter most to you. If baking is not your passion, buy the cookies or pies.

ASK FOR HELP

Remember that friend? A task becomes a pleasure when shared with a friend.

Be specific in your ask. Remember the line, “ask and you will receive”?

In order to receive what will be most beneficial to you, be very specific. (Think the children’s letter to Santa… they know exactly what they want, emulate that enthusiasm). Never assume anyone can read your mind. Clearly and precisely ask for what you need.

Ask your son -in- law to help with the dishes. Ask your daughters to bring desserts or salads or both.

Delegate before the guests arrive so the family knows their roles. Kids take pride in taking coats and offering beverages. Give age-appropriate jobs to the little ones. It gives them confidence, pride and encourages responsibility. Be sure to thank them for their contribution to making the day special and tell them you are proud of them.

Shopping: If you hate shopping, pass the mantel to the one who loves to shop. Most teenage girls really like being at the mall. Volunteer hours are a part of the high school curriculum so ask a volunteer to help you with this task. Got a tech-savvy 20-year-old? They know Amazon like the back of their hand.

Remember that part of the fun of finding the perfect gift can be an after Christmas outing with your loved ones. Do an activity together. Rose likes to take her family skiing. I like hiking in the woods. Seeing the light festival in neighbouring towns that are on ‘til January is a fun night out. Taking your grandkids for an afternoon can be the nicest gift for their mom so she gets a nap, or a chance to read that book. These are low cost, but high value gift ideas that will be remembered for years.

Snow shoveling of sidewalks and driveways can also be volunteer hour credits. Of course, you can pay the kids a small gratuity.

Ask your creative child, friend, or spouse, to help you with the wrapping. Put some music on, pour your beverage of choice, clear the counter or the floor and cut, wrap, ribbon, bow and bag your presents with abandon.

If you are out and need help with parcels, packages, groceries ask the clerk for help. A recent back injury prevented me from lifting heavy items. I was pleasantly surprised with the enthusiasm I received from staff at a local store to carry my parcels to my car. He was happy to be asked.

Giving someone the opportunity to do something kind, increases that person’s dopamine. Dopamine is one of our feel-good hormones. It counter acts cortisol a stress hormone. Witnessing an act of kindness improves a person’s immunity by 20 percent. (Holt School of Natural Healing Reflexology Manual).

Plan to give yourself time for you. It can be the greatest gift you give to your family.

A warm bath.
Time to do your nails.
A walk outside before the people arrive.
Pet the dog or caress the cat.
Pause.
Let the joy of the reason for the Season fill you.
Breath in. Hold it. Exhale. Reset your body rhythm.

Our expectation of perfection is an illusion. Have fun. If something breaks, laugh it off. If all else fails, put on the Grinch and dance. Moving our bodies is a great way to shift stress out and happiness in.

Maybe Christmas he thought, doesn’t come from a store, Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more. May the love of Christmas on this Holy Night, fill your heart and home with God’s pure light.